It's a Good Life

by Carol Lynne

  Garron sagged back in his chair. He knew if the girl survived, she would suffer the scars of a momentary lapse in judgment for the rest of her life.

  The image stuck with him long after the nurses had wheeled the gurney through the double doors. The father, Garron presumed, was told to take a seat and someone would be out to get him as soon as she was stabilized. After arguing in vain, the father stumbled to one of the uncomfortable vinyl chairs. He stared at his bloodied hands as if reliving the accident in his mind.

  Garron knew the feeling all too well and eventually moved to offer what comfort he could. He sat beside the father and remained silent for several minutes. “Can I call someone for you?” he finally asked.

  The man shook his head. “There’s no one. I moved Katie here after my wife died, thinking a change would be good for us both.” He wiped his eyes. “It’s my fault.”

  “No. It was an accident.”

  “An accident that could’ve been prevented. I shouldn’t have moved us into that old house. I thought the project would bring us together.” He spoke in a monotone, as if he was confessing his sins. “I told her to hang those curtains.”

  Before Garron could come up with something to say that would ease the father, a nurse came out. “Your daughter’s asking for you.”

  Hope shined in the man’s expression. “I can see her?”

  The nurse nodded. “They are suturing her wounds, but it will take a while. The doctor believes it will be easier for everyone if you’re there to keep her calm.”

  With a nod, he stood. Before following the nurse, he turned back to Garron. “I’m Jim. Thank you for sitting with me.” Jim started to reach out to shake Garron’s hand but stopped when he realized they were covered in his daughter’s blood.

  Garron grabbed Jim’s forearm and held it in place as he shook the guy’s hand. “Garron, and I’ve been where you are.” He took a deep breath. “It’ll get better.”

  Jim walked away, and Garron was left to reflect on the episode. By the time he’d finished his coffee, he’d figured out a few things. Life was precious and it could be taken away at any moment. Sonny was just as likely to be injured doing something mundane around the house. Rawley was probably right. It was one thing to keep Sonny off the roads, but another entirely to try to keep him off his horse.

  Garron stood and tossed his empty cup into the nearest trash bin. He made a quick trip to the bathroom to wash the blood from his hand before finding his way back to the elevator.

  * * * *

  “They’re kicking us out,” Sonny said, walking into the waiting room.

  Rawley rubbed Rachel’s back as she slept in his arms. “Are they keeping her?”

  “Yeah, at least overnight, but visiting hours are over.” Sonny glanced at the others. “Where’s Garron?”

  “He’ll be back in a minute. He wanted to go down and check on that girl.”

  Sonny stretched his arms over his head. Garron had been back and forth between maternity and ICU, where his new friend’s daughter had been taken. “When he gets back, we should go to dinner and make Ranger go with us. The hospital won’t let him stay.”

  “That’s bullshit,” Jeb said, getting to his feet.

  “Yeah, well, legally, Ranger’s not her husband—Ryker is. Ranger’s pissed, but he doesn’t want to upset Lilly by making a big scene.” Sonny nodded toward the hall. “He’ll be out in a minute.”

  “Is he going home with us?” Rawley asked.

  Sonny shook his head. “He told Lilly he’d spend the night down in the Emergency Department waiting room, but he hasn’t eaten all day, and I’d like to see him get a good meal in him. Lilly asked if one of us could take Rachel for the night.”

  “Sure, Jeb and I can take her home with us.” Rawley glanced down at Rachel. “I imagine our little sugar-pie is hungry, too, so we’ll join you for a bite. We can pick up something for Ryker at the same time.”

  “I’ll go get Garron,” Sonny offered. “You want us to meet you back here or downstairs?”

  “Why don’t you meet us at The Double Barrel?” Rawley suggested. “That’s Ranger’s favorite steak place in town.”

  “Cool.” Sonny looked back toward Lilly’s room. As much as he hated hospitals, he didn’t want to leave. Maybe he’d talk to Garron about spending the night with Ranger downstairs. Lilly’s condition was serious, but he was more concerned about the forced separation between Ranger and Ryker.

  * * * *

  Before starting the pickup, Garron pulled Sonny across the seat and into his arms. “I know we’ve hit another rough patch, but I need you to know how much I love you.”

  “I do.” Sonny peppered kisses on Garron’s jaw. “No matter what else is going on, that’s one thing I’ve never doubted.”

  “Good.” Garron cupped the back of Sonny’s head and kissed him. He stroked his tongue against Sonny’s, cherishing each glide. When his body reacted to the feel of Sonny in his arms, Garron pulled back. “We’d better get to the restaurant or else I’m gonna say fuck it all and take you home.”

  Sonny gave Garron’s cock a squeeze before moving back to the passenger side. “Actually, I was hoping you’d let me spend the night with Ranger here at the hospital.”

  Garron started the pickup. Sonny’s request brought home the way he believed their relationship had changed. “You don’t have to ask me if you can stay. If you want to sit with Ranger, that’s your choice.”

  “Yeah, I know, but I don’t want you to get mad at me if I don’t go home with you, and since you have to work in less than twelve hours, I know you won’t be able to stay with me.” Sonny reached over and turned up the heater. “I’m tired of arguing.”

  “So am I,” Garron agreed. “Can we come to a compromise?”

  Sonny crossed his arms over his chest. “What?”

  “If you go to the doctor again, I promise I won’t hover, argue or worry about fucking you as hard as you want.” Garron wanted the ease between them that they used to have, but he knew in his gut that something was wrong with Sonny’s health and ignoring it wasn’t possible.

  Sonny drew a heart on the fogged passenger window before erasing it with his palm. “What if the doctor tells me there’s nothing else they can do for me? We’ve lived with the hope that I’d slowly get better, but I think we both know the opposite’s happening.”

  Exactly, Garron thought. “We’ll face whatever it is together. That’s what we’ve done so far, right?”

  Sonny turned in his seat to face Garron. “If you were going to be dead by the age of fifty, would you want to know?”

  “If there was something I could do to prevent it? Absolutely.”

  Sonny shook his head. “But what if there wasn’t anything you could do about it? I want to live my life. Knowing my fate won’t help me do that.”

  Garron leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He understood where Sonny was coming from, which made things more difficult. “I get it, I really do, but I’m not willing to take the chance. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something preventable happened.”

  Sonny took a deep breath. “Can we shelve this discussion? At least until after Christmas?”

  “Sure.” With Christmas less than two weeks away, Garron doubted they could do much before the holiday, anyway. “You should at least call and make an appointment for after the first of the year.” He shrugged. “If things get better it’ll be easy enough to cancel.”

  “I’ll think about it,” Sonny mumbled.

  * * * *

  Using his coat for a pillow, Sonny curled up in the corner of the waiting room he and Ranger had occupied for the past two hours. Carpeted and separated from the rest of the room by a noise partition, it was supposed to be the children’s play area. Thankfully, there had only been two kids in the waiting room so far and neither of them had been well enough to play.

  “That’s a pretty cool playhouse,” Sonny remarked, studying the yellow and pink structure. “Think little Rangina would like s
omething like that?”

  Ranger snorted. “Asshole. If we have another girl—and I’m not saying that’s what it is—we sure as hell wouldn’t name her Rangina.”

  “Fine, but what about the house?” Sonny rolled onto his side to look at his brother.

  “I think we could build something better.” Ranger closed his eyes and shook his head. “For the first time since Lilly told us we were pregnant again, I’m worried. Not just about her and the baby’s health, but everything else.” He groaned. “Look at what we faced here at the hospital.” Opening his eyes, he stared at Sonny. “I think we’ve been selfish.”

  “Why, because you want children?” Sonny understood Ranger’s reservations about starting a family, they’d had a similar discussion before Rachel was born, but he couldn’t imagine a more loved child. “Has Lilly and Rachel had trouble in town? Because there’s no way people haven’t noticed that beautiful little girl.”

  “No, not that she’s said, but adults making comments isn’t the same as our kids being teased in school.”

  “I know the four of you like to hide away at home, but I think it’ll be important for you to get into town more. Once the kids get older and start school, you’ll have to get involved, show parents and the other children that you’re a family no matter how many of you there are.”

  Ranger moved to lie on his stomach. He propped his chin on his clasped hands and gazed at the alphabet carpeting. “You’re pretty smart, you know that?”

  “Try telling that to Garron. He thinks I’m losing it.”

  “Shut up. That man worships the ground you walk on,” Ranger argued.

  “That has nothing to do with it.” He blew out a breath. They said confession was good for the soul, but would it be good for him? “I’ve been blacking out a lot over the last several weeks. I guess they’re some kind of seizure, but they’re not like the others.”

  “You know you need to get checked out.”

  “Duh,” Sonny said.

  “So why haven’t you?” Ranger asked.

  “I just…” Sonny swallowed around the lump that had formed in his throat. Christ, the last thing he wanted was to break down in front of anyone. He continued to swallow, hoping to get his emotions under control before he spoke again.

  Ranger surprised him by reaching out to hold his hand. “Talk to me.”

  “I survived once. I don’t think I can do it again.”

  “What’re you talking about?”

  Sonny tapped the side of his head. “I don’t think they can fix me this time.” He felt the tears welling. “Things are deteriorating really quickly. Between the headaches, the missing periods of time and my moods, I’m afraid. I’m caught between trying to push Garron away and begging him to stay no matter what I say or do to him, and that’s not fair.”

  “What’s not fair to Garron is you playing roulette with your life. I would do anything for Ryker and Lilly. I love you, brother, but if I were you, I’d do everything in my power to make sure I had more time with the people I love, and I’d make every moment count.”

  “But maybe that’s just it. What if I’ve been living on borrowed time? What if the last twenty months were my chance to make every moment count?”

  “This isn’t some horror movie where the Grim Reaper is standing just off-stage, waiting for your time to run out,” Ranger grumbled and buried his face in his crossed arms. “We’re both tired and you’re not making any sense. Why don’t we get some sleep?”

  Sonny readjusted his makeshift pillow. He was definitely tired, but despite what Ranger thought, he was making sense. Too bad no one wanted to listen to him.

  Chapter Three

  “Come on, Harry, you’ve always bought from my family. What’s changed?” Exasperated, Sonny ran his fingers through his hair.

  “I got a better deal from a place down in Oklahoma.”

  Bullshit. It was obvious to Sonny that Harry had been talking to the redneck crew that hung out at the regional auction barn. It was Sonny’s last chance to get rid of some of his head before the worst of winter set in. Without unloading cattle, he’d go broke trying to feed them for the next several months. He could beg Ranger and Ryker to buy them for the feedlot, but that wasn’t their normal practice, and he refused to take advantage of his familial ties.

  “Okay, how about this. I’ll give you last year’s prices and for every ten steers you buy, I’ll give you one of the calves in the spring.”

  There was a long pause on the other end of the phone. “I’ll think about it and call ya back by Friday.”

  “You have until Wednesday. I’d like to load ’em up and get ’em out of here by the end of the year. If you don’t want the deal, I’ll find someone else who does.” Sonny wasn’t used to playing hardball with men he’d worked with for years, but it was better than having a bunch of starving cattle on his hands. They’d already had one snowfall. Luckily, it had only been around six inches and had melted within a few days, but he didn’t want to push his luck.

  “I’ll let ya know,” Harry said, before hanging up.

  Sonny put down the phone and stared at the pile of bills in front of him. The only thing that kept him from jumping off the bluff was the knowledge that the ranch was paid for. Of course, that didn’t mean he was home free. He still had taxes and insurance to pay on the place, as well as his own bills.

  Disgusted with himself, Sonny walked out of the study. Making the ranch profitable, or even sustainable, had nothing to do with paying the bills and everything to do with pride. The last thing he wanted was to be the Good who lost a ranch that had been in his family for three generations.

  “I’m home,” Garron called, shutting the front door.

  “Kitchen,” Sonny replied.

  Several minutes later, Garron walked into the kitchen. “How’s Lilly?”

  “Good.” Sonny accepted the deep kiss that never failed to warm him. “They let her go home this morning, but she’s supposed to stay in bed for the rest of the pregnancy, and the doctor said a home birth is outta the question.”

  “Ouch. I bet that’s gonna drive her crazy.” Garron opened the fridge and removed a bottle of beer.

  “I think Ryker and Ranger are the ones who’re going to drive her crazy.” Sonny swiped Garron’s bottle out of his hand and took a sip. “I had some refrigerated piecrust left over from Thanksgiving, so I made a chicken pot pie.” He checked the clock. “Should be ready by the time you set the table.”

  Garron took back his beer and finished it off before tossing it in the recycle bin. Sonny cleared his throat, indicating the error, and Garron grinned.

  “Sorry.” He dug the bottle out of the trash and rinsed it out. “Too many rules.”

  Sonny laughed. “Rules that haven’t changed since you moved in,” he reminded him.

  After tossing the bottle once again, Garron opened the cabinet and retrieved the plates. “Jeb said to tell you he’s going Christmas shopping tomorrow after chores if you’re interested.”

  “I’ll call him. I’m making most of my gifts this year, but I need a few things.” Sonny didn’t say that he was making instead of buying because he was short on extra money. He knew his family would be happy with whatever he gave them, so that was the least of his worries. “By the way, I talked about it with Ranger, and I think it would be better to cancel the regular party and just do the family thing over at their place. Without Mom here, it wouldn’t be the same, anyway, so better to do a low-key kind of thing.”

  “You’ll have to call the others,” Garron said, pulling silverware out of the drawer.

  “Already have.” Sonny shrugged. “Sorry, I know I should’ve talked to you first, but I thought it would be better to call them as soon as possible.”

  After setting the dishes on the table, Garron walked over to wrap his arms around Sonny. “No, you were right.” He bent down and gave Sonny another deep kiss.

  His mom’s death eight months earlier had devastated the entire family, but after spending so
much time with her after the shooting, it seemed to have hit Sonny the hardest.

  “Does this mean we’re skinning the tree, too?”

  “Hell no. You’re still stuck helping me with that.” The timer on the oven went off, drawing Sonny away from Garron’s hold. “Would you get me a glass of milk while I get dinner on the table?”

  “Sure thing.”

  Sonny couldn’t keep the smile from his face as he removed the pie from the oven. “I like this.”

  “How do you know? You haven’t tasted it yet.” Garron sat in his normal seat.

  Sonny set the potpie on a trivet and sat down. “Not the dinner.” He gestured between the two of them. “Us, like this.”

  Garron reached over and squeezed Sonny’s hand. “I agree.”

  “I made an appointment for the twenty-seventh.” Sonny lifted a piece to Garron’s plate, but paused when he found Garron staring at him. “What? I said I’d think about it, and I did.”

  “I thought you wanted to wait until after the first of the year.” Garron sprinkled salt and pepper on his dinner.

  Sonny began to butter four pieces of bread. “You can blame Ranger.”

  “Blame him? I’ll kiss him.” Garron took two of the pieces. “Thanks, cowboy.”

  “You’ll do no such thing.” Sonny flipped the top crust to the side of the plate, saving his favorite piece for last. The ease of conversation was almost enough to make him forget about his shitty day.

  “Are the horses taken care of for the night?” Garron asked.

  “Not yet. I spent all afternoon trying to sell some cattle.” Sonny’s good mood sagged.

  “Any luck?”

  “No, although I put a deal to Harry Bower that’s going to be hard for him to pass up. I guess we’ll see what’s more important—his need to stay away from the homo or making money.”

  “I’ll help you with the horses.”

  As much as he appreciated the gesture, Sonny knew Garron was a kid at heart and lived for the Christmas cartoons this time of year. “That’s okay. You take care of the dishes and relax in front of the tube, and I’ll take care of the horses.”