She shrugged. “He wants me to come back with him.”
I blinked at the way she said. With him. As in together. A couple. Bile rose up in my throat as jealousy spread like poison in my veins. I had an image of the two of them by the bonfire that first day she’d arrived. Laughing, talking… happy.
They’d looked perfect together. Like a couple.
“Is that what you want?”
She stared at me for so long I wasn’t sure if she was going to respond. Finally, she sighed, and some of her bravado faded with her exhale. “I want what Brandon can give me.”
I shook my head, my brows drawn together in confusion.
“If I bring home Brandon, I’ll get a starring role alongside him.” She swallowed, and her eyes darted away from mine. “My father wants the publicity of a high-profile couple. You know, working together and playing together…” Her voice lost steam, and she ended with a shrug as if even she wasn’t quite sure about this plan.
I stared at her in horror. “So, your father sent you here to… what? Try to manipulate him into being your boyfriend?”
She didn’t respond, but her eyes said it all. Yes, that was exactly what he wanted. He was using his own daughter to try and lure Brandon into his show. I’d heard the stories of how controlling her father could be, but this was beyond my comprehension.
Lila’s lips quirked up a bit in a humorless smile as though she could read my thoughts. “Having his daughter as Brandon’s girlfriend would give him even more control over his image, his career… his life. When it comes to my father, it’s always about control.”
I let out a long exhale. “That’s messed up.”
She didn’t argue. Somehow, it was her lack of anger on her own behalf that jarred me out of my shock and pity. This was Brandon we were talking about here, and Lila was acting like he was some sort of pawn.
“All that talk about wanting what’s best for him,” I said. “Was that all a lie?”
She shook her head and gave me a wan smile. “Not entirely, no. I might have my own reasons for wanting Brandon to come back with me, but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be what’s best for him.”
“Because of the money,” he said.
She lifted one shoulder. “I’m not going to say Brandon wouldn’t face some tough times in Los Angeles. There’d be an adjustment period and—” Her sudden smile was wicked and wry. “My father isn’t exactly the easiest boss to work for—not even when you’re his daughter. But getting out of this town, getting away from his mother for a while, being exposed to new people and different walks of life…” She trailed off with a shrug.
I couldn’t tell if she actually believed what she was saying or if she was trying to convince herself and me. “Do you actually think he’d fit in there?”
She pursed her lips and mimicked my challenging look. “Do you really think he fits in here?”
I opened my mouth and shut it. No. Not really. I wasn’t sure if he ever had, but these past few years, he’d seemed to be even more withdrawn than usual. I’d blamed it on his mother’s mental health, but he’d stopped wanting to hang out in big groups, he’d never shown any interest in dating—hell, he’d probably spend every waking second working on that ranch this past summer if me and Amber hadn’t made it a mission to get him out.
“I don’t know his mother,” Lila said. “But I’ve heard things…”
I kept my mouth firmly shut. I loved the MacMillans like they were my own family, and no matter how sick she was or how many secrets she kept, I wouldn’t be the one to rat her out.
Lila took a step forward. “You’ve got to admit, it seems a little toxic in that house.”
“How would you know?”
“I have my ways.” Her eyes didn’t quite meet mine. “I know she’s not always lucid. I know she gambles. I know that Brandon is single-handedly running that place.” She licked her lips and took a deep breath. “I’m not saying starring on a TV show is necessarily the answer, but it couldn’t hurt to check it out, could it?”
I shook my head. “I can’t believe you’re actually going through with this.”
Her head snapped back a bit as though my words had physically hurt her. She narrowed her eyes. “I don’t have a choice.”
“Sure you do,” I said. “You can leave Brandon alone. You can let him and his family make their own decisions.”
She pressed her lips together in annoyance, and I took a step closer.
“You can go home without him.”
Her eyes flashed with anger. “I can’t do that.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
She didn’t answer, but I saw a flash of pain in her eyes. “You don’t understand my family.” She shook her head. “You don’t know my father.”
I took another step closer, and we were almost touching. The air was thick with tension. “Then explain it to me.”
She shook her head, and I caught a glimmer of frustration. No… desperation. “I can’t go back without him.”
“Why not?”
“He won’t take me back.” Her voice cracked a little, and my heart slammed against my ribcage. I was desperate to hold her.
But if I held her now, I didn’t know if I could ever let go.
She bit her lip, and I saw the tears hovering on her lashes as she said it once more. “I can’t go back without Brandon.”
“Then don’t go back.”
She blinked rapidly. “What?”
Certainty shot through me as I gave in to temptation and pulled her into my arms. Sweet Jesus, it had been two weeks since I’d held her last, and it felt like an eternity. This felt like a homecoming. Pinedale might be where I’d grown up, but this right here… this was home.
“Stay here,” I said. My voice came out low and raw, and her eyes widened in surprise.
“I can’t—”
“Why not?”
She licked her lips as her hands moved over my chest. My arms tightened around her, and I heard her shaky exhale. “My family. My friends,” she started.
“You said yourself your father wouldn’t want you to come back,” I said, my hands clenching in the material of her shirt as need coursed through me. “But I want you here.”
Her gaze flickered over my face, trying to read my sincerity. “I don’t fit in here.”
“You’ve never tried.”
She shook her head. “It’s not that simple.”
I leaned down until our noses nearly touched. “To me it is. I want you. I want you here, in my life.”
Her lips parted as she gasped, and I couldn’t blame her for her shock. What I’d said was crazy; what I was doing was nuts. I barely knew this girl, but the way I felt about her was real. Undeniable.
And I was done trying to fight it.
I was through trying to resist. I lifted one hand to the base of her skull and moved in slowly, giving her every chance to back away, to tell me to stop.
But she didn’t try to stop me, and I was done holding back. For the first time in weeks, I gave in to the overpowering need, and I kissed her.
Fourteen
Lila
His mouth crashed against mine, and I was lost. The kiss was frantic and messy as desire swept away every thought, leaving behind only sensation and raw emotion. Need. Lust. And something else. Something that made my heart ache in my chest. Something new and unfamiliar and painfully sweet.
I clung to him, actually letting myself believe for one moment that he could solve all my problems. That I could stay right here in his arms where nothing could hurt me. Where I didn’t have to pretend to be anything I wasn’t or try and fail to live up to expectations.
But reality set in when he pulled away just long enough to trail kisses along my cheek, my jaw.
He was kissing away my tears.
I hadn’t realized that I’d started to cry until that moment.
“Don’t go back,” he said softly, his warm breath making me shiver as his lips moved down to my neck.
I
bit my lip to keep from saying something stupid. From making a promise I couldn’t keep. I won’t go back. I’ll stay here… with you.
God, it was tempting. Not that I loved Pinedale or anything—I didn’t. But this guy made me feel something I’d never felt before. Something so unfamiliar I couldn’t even place it. When he was around, I felt safe. When he looked at me, I felt seen. When he listened to me, I felt heard.
When he held me in his arms like this, there was no place else I wanted to be, no one else I wanted to become. I didn’t have to be on guard at every moment. I didn’t have to be skinnier or prettier or more stylish or wittier.
I was enough.
For the first time in my life, I was enough.
He pulled back and his dark eyes met mine. So serious. So intense. “Don’t go.”
I wanted to say I’ll stay. I wanted to, but I couldn’t. Being with Brandon and getting the lead role—they were the only ways I could ever be my own person. They’d give me the power I needed to break free of my father’s tyranny and to make my own way in the world. Sure, my father would still be my boss, but I’d have a power of my own. Something not even he could take from me.
Though I hadn’t said a word, Jack seemed to see what I was thinking. Confusion darkened his eyes even more. Confusion and frustration. “Don’t try to tell me you’re that desperate to become an actress.” He shook his head. “I’ve never even heard you mention an interest in acting.”
A rueful smile tugged at my lips, amusement warring with sadness. “You haven’t heard me talk about a lot of things,” I reminded him. “You’ve only known me for a couple of weeks, and it’s not like our little chats in the hallway are insightful, meaningful discussions.”
His lips quirked up a bit too because he knew I was right. But that didn’t mean he’d been wrong. Not entirely. It wasn’t some desperate passion to become an actress that spurred me on to do things that made me nauseous. It was the benefits that came with it. The money. The fame. When combined, those two factors equaled power.
I looked up into his eyes and wondered if he could understand that. Probably not. The guy had grown up loved and supported. He had a home here.
A home he wants to share with you.
I pushed away the oddly tempting thought. It wasn’t Pinedale that was tempting so much as the idea of a home.
A home with Jack.
Oh hell, what was wrong with me? I barely knew the guy, and I had a life back in Los Angeles. Didn’t I?
He moved one of his hands up and cupped my face, his thumb idly stroking my jaw and cheek as he studied me closely. “You’ve never mentioned your home or your school or how much you miss your friends,” he continued.
I opened my mouth to protest but realized he was right. My friends had seemingly given me up for dead. Out of sight, out of mind seemed to be their motto. There was no one at home who was waiting anxiously to see me, and the feeling was mutual. I didn’t want to admit that, though. It sounded too pathetic for words. Almost as pathetic as the desire to move to a Godforsaken hillbilly town where nobody liked me for a guy I barely knew.
Sure, we talked every day, but those conversations were filled with bickering and teasing, nothing of significance. But the funny thing was, those stolen moments throughout the day had become the highlights of my life. The thought of seeing him at school made going to school something to look forward to, it made this town bearable. Even now, the memory of our conversations made me smile.
I arched a brow. “How would any of that have come up when our daily chats usually center around you lecturing me on my bad behavior?”
His eyes flashed with wicked humor as his lips curved up in a lopsided grin that made my breath catch in my throat. “I do love fighting with you.”
I let out a breathless laugh because yeah… I loved it too.
Too much.
He leaned down, and his breath whispered over my lips. “Besides, someone needs to call you out on your bratty behavior.”
I was torn between laughter and a moan as my lips parted, eager for another kiss. I settled for feigning indignation. “I’m not bratty, you’re just overbearing.”
He moved in closer, his eyes locked on mine. “You love it.”
He crushed me to him as his lips moved over mine, insistent and demanding. When he pulled back his hands stayed tangled in my hair, and his eyes were filled with heat. “You don’t want Brandon.”
My lips parted as I gasped for air. His certainty wiped away any ideas I might’ve had to deny it. What was the use?
“You don’t want him,” he growled. “Say it.”
I licked my lips and watched as his eyes followed the movement. I couldn’t deny it. Not when my body and my kisses spoke so clearly on my behalf. Still… I didn’t have to confirm it either. “How do you know?”
His eyes flashed with amusement. He knew exactly what I was doing—avoiding the question. Answering a demand for the truth with a question in return. It was hopelessly juvenile and totally telling. But I didn’t care. I was done trying to hide the truth.
“How do I know?” he murmured, his gaze softened by laughter and both of our lips tugging upward into a smile.
His nose brushed against mine. “Maybe because Brandon doesn’t know you like I do.”
“True,” I whispered. In that moment, I had the overwhelming sensation that no one had ever known me like this guy did.
“He doesn’t call you out on your crap,” he continued mildly, making me laugh softly. The laugh was replaced by a gasp as he pulled me up against his hard body and whispered in my ear. “And he doesn’t make you feel like this.”
I shivered as an aching desire spread through my core. My voice came out breathy and weak, but I still managed a retort. “My, my. Now who’s the conceited one?”
He leaned back and grinned down at me. “Complaining?”
I shook my head. “I like it.”
Oh, how I liked it. I loved the way he oozed confidence, how he walked through life with a strong mind and even stronger body. I loved his willful stubbornness and the way he never failed to challenge me.
Hell, I even liked the way he called me out on my crap, as he put it.
When he was around it seemed like maybe there was some good in the world. Maybe, just maybe, there was such a thing as heroes and knights in shining armor. He was the kind of guy a girl could lean on, maybe even trust.
He was good. Not nice, like Brandon, but good.
He was the kind of guy a girl could fall in love with when she wasn’t even looking.
I drew in a quick breath, startled beyond belief by that wayward thought. Love? Who was talking about love?
Not me. Definitely not me.
He leaned down until his forehead rested against mine, our breathing mingled, and the heat of our bodies seemed to fuse us together from head to toe. “Admit it,” he said softly. “You like me.”
I found myself grinning despite myself. Like. It sounded so lame, so infantile compared to what I felt around him. I twined my arms around his neck. “I’ll admit it,” I said. For a second, I forgot everything else but us in this quiet intimate moment. “I like you. I like who I am when I’m around you.”
He stiffened, and I tried to pull away because I’d admitted too much. I suddenly felt like I was standing there naked in front of him. But his embrace tightened, and I couldn’t pull away.
He kissed me hard and quick. “That might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“Don’t get used to it,” I muttered, but my tone lacked heat. I was covering up my embarrassment, that was all. I was trying to recover from that horrifyingly vulnerable moment that I couldn’t call back.
Tess knocked but didn’t wait to answer before coming in. I pushed against Jack’s chest, but he didn’t let me go instantly which meant I’d been caught with the wrong guy… again.
My sister arched a brow but didn’t say anything about the fact that we’d been caught in an embrace that was so clearly not p
latonic. Instead, she heaved a long sigh—one that spoke of endless parental patience. “Dinner’s ready, Dee.”
“Dee?” Jack said. Only Tess ever called me Dee, and only when she was treating me like a child.
“Delilah,” I muttered. I hated having to remind him of my name. It would make him think of my full name and why I was here. For a little while there, I’d let myself forget the mission, the goal, and what was at stake.
Jack shifted away from me, and I couldn’t quite bring myself to meet his eyes. Not with Tess watching me like that… like she knew. I felt his eyes on me too, and I didn’t know where to look.
He leaned in and lowered his voice as his hand brushed against mine. “Just think about what I said, okay?”
I nodded, and he walked away.
As if I could stop thinking about what he’d said. As if his words wouldn’t haunt me from now until the end of time.
Tess stayed silent in the doorway until the front door clicked closed behind Jack. “Everything okay?”
I nodded, already heading past her without meeting her eyes. “Let’s eat. I’m starving.”
Fifteen
Brandon
I never did confront my mom about Lila’s accusations. I didn’t have the heart. Maybe I just didn’t want to hear her answer because I knew that Lila wasn’t lying.
Don’t ask me how, I just knew. My mom had so many secrets. The older I grew, the more I realized how little I knew about my mother, about my father—how little I knew about their marriage.
I remembered that they loved each other. But I also knew that I’d been a child when I saw them together. Would I have been able to recognize it if they’d had problems?
Probably not.
But Lila’s words had unlocked something. Some memory, maybe. Remnants of whispered gossip, of long-forgotten fights, snippets of conversations… and the overwhelming stench of guilt in the wake of my father’s funeral.
My mom had always been religious, but after we’d returned to Pinedale, it was like she’d thrown herself into church with a vengeance. Like she was trying to repent or something.
All-American Princess (The Glitterati Files Book 1) Page 11
