by Harlow James
Revived
Emerson Falls, Book 4
By Harlow James
Copyright © 2020 Harlow James
Revived
Emerson Falls, Book 4
Cover Design: Pink Elephant Designs
All rights reserved. No parts of the book may be used or reproduced in any matter without written permission from the author, except for inclusion of brief quotations in a review. This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, establishments, organizations, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously to give a sense of authenticity.
Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. The eBook may not be re-sold or given away to another person except when loaned out per Amazon’s lending program. If you’re reading this book and you did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then it was pirated illegally. Please purchase a copy of your own and respect the hard work of this author.
Contents
Title Page
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Epilogue
“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor would you be the same, nor should you want to.”
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Prologue
Luke
Seven Years Ago
“Hannah Richards… will you marry me?”
Staring up into the dark brown eyes of the woman that completes me, I ask her on bended knee if she’ll spend the rest of her life with me. My heart is about to break free from my rib cage, my throat is suddenly dry, and each second she doesn’t answer only terrifies me even more.
“Yes, Luke. Yes, I’ll marry you!” Her words echo in the night. I release the air I was holding in my lungs before I jump from the ground and kiss her with everything I have. I found her, the woman I’m going to spend the rest of my life with, and everything feels complete.
Our lips collide, drowning out every sound of owls hooting in the distance, the hum of cars gliding on streets nearby, and the chirp of crickets in the bushes. It’s just her and me, promising to love each other until our very last breaths.
“I can’t believe you did this!” She beams when we part, looking down at the ring I placed delicately on her finger before she could even answer me. Call me confident, but I knew she would say yes.
“Believe it, baby. You and me, forever.” I press my lips to hers once more and then guide her over to the hammock between the two trees in the backyard of the house we just purchased together. Settling in carefully, I wrap my arm around her shoulders and tuck her into me so every inch of our bodies is touching. I inhale her scent and the smell of the night around us, memorizing every detail of this moment, vowing to never erase this cosmic feeling from my mind.
“I thought we were going to wait,” she whispers, her fingers tracing a pattern on my forearm as she admires the way her diamond shines in the soft glow of the porch lights.
“I couldn’t. I know what I want, Hannah, and I want you. We had this discussion when we bought the place, remember? We knew this is where we were headed. But now, I get to come home every day to my fiancé, not just my girlfriend, which makes me even happier than I thought I could be.”
Hannah peers up at me, her eyes so full of love and optimism, one of the things I love most about her. She can take any situation and find the good in it. Her presence in my life has opened up my eyes to the power of positive thinking and makes me appreciate things now that I never would have noticed before.
“Fiancé… I like the sound of that.” She flashes me that teasing smirk of hers that I love before placing a lingering kiss on my mouth. But when we part, the happiness that was just on her face falls completely, replaced by worried eyes and a trembling lip. “I’m not going to lie though, Luke. I’m scared.”
“About what, baby?”
“I love you so much. I can’t imagine my life without you. But your job is dangerous, and my worst fear is that something happens to you while you’re on duty and you leave me here all alone.”
I swallow hard. I wish there were something I could say or do to quell her fear, but there are no guarantees in life. All I know is that she and I are meant to be together. I feel that in every fiber of my body and a feeling that strong can’t be a coincidence. Fate can’t possibly mess with that.
“I know, Hannah. And I wish I could guarantee with certainty that nothing will ever happen to me. But I can’t. What I can tell you is that I will do everything in my power to come home to you every day. I will always have you in the back of my mind as I make choices that could affect our future. But our love is destined to be, baby. That I am sure of.”
“What if it’s not, Luke?”
“Hannah…” I breathe out in frustration, hating that one of the happiest moments of my life is being turned into a morbid one. “Where is this coming from? You’re usually the one who’s all about looking for the positive and living in the moment. We should be talking about picking a date and centerpieces, not me dying…”
“No, just hear me out, please.” She adjusts herself in the hammock, brushing her blonde hair from her face, and then propping herself up so we’re facing each other head on. “I’m not naïve. I know your job is dangerous and I know what I’m signing up for in agreeing to marry you, okay? I’m not wavering in that choice. I love you so much Luke Henderson and I can’t wait to be your wife.”
“Hannah, I love you with every ounce of my soul. From the moment I saw you walking up the driveway of my parent’s house, I knew you were meant to be mine.”
“So confident,” she teases.
“But yes, I know something could happen to me,” I pause and then take a deep breath before I continue. “Heaven forbid it does, I want you to always remember how much I loved you. And I don’t want you to be lonely forever. I want you to move on, find someone to spend the rest of your life with, fall in love and create a new life with a new man. Promise me that.”
Her eyes start to well with tears as I talk about my death after just asking her to marry me. This conversation is beyond fucked up, but I guess necessary.
“Same, Luke. I don’t want you to be alone for the rest of your life if something happens to me either.” One lone tear falls from the corner of her eye as I brush my thumb across her cheek to catch it.
“Nothing is going to happen to you, baby.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I don’t, but I don’t want to think that way. I don’t want to fathom a life without you. I love you, Hannah. No one can control what happens, but I know I’ll always have control over how much I love you.” I
cradle her face in my hands as she stares back at me intently. “But heaven forbid our time is cut short, know we will see each other again one day and I will never regret the time we had together.” I lean in to kiss her, assuring her with my lips that everything will be okay, and then she settles back into the nook in my arms.
After a long silence, her eyes searching the sky for what seems like forever, she turns to me and smiles. “If anything happens, Luke, I’ll meet you on the other side of the stars.”
Chapter 1
Luke
Present Day
“Daddy?”
“What’s up, bud?”
“Did you know that the human head weighs eight pounds?”
I cast my eyes at my son in the rearview mirror and can’t help the appreciative laugh that passes through my lips. “Yes, I did, bud,” I answer, thinking back fondly over the movie Jerry Maguire where I learned that information for the first time. Of course, now the constant reminder of that fun fact comes from my four-year-old son almost daily.
“And did you know that thumbs have their own pulse?” Grayson kicks his feet in his seat as we cruise along the road to my parent’s house, the shadows of the trees lining the road bouncing over his face.
“Yup. Hey, did you know that belly buttons grow special hairs to catch lint?”
The smile Grayson flashes me makes my heart swell. He always likes that fun fact. “Yeah, I do, Daddy. You say that one every time!”
I roll my eyes dramatically, even though this is part of the game. “Silly me. What else do I need to know, bud?”
“Hmmm,” Grayson hums as he places a single finger on his chin in thought. “Humans are the only animals with chins!” He shouts in the tiny cab of my SUV.
“No need to yell, bud. But hey, that’s pretty cool.”
“I know,” he acknowledges confidently, looking out the window again as we close in on my parent’s house.
It’s been the same routine for weeks now since I started teaching at the community college. Just a few short months ago, I worked for the Emerson Falls Sheriff’s Department, serving my community for seven years. I had been contemplating how to continue to provide for my child in a way that didn’t run the risk of him losing his father every day, especially since he’d already lost his mom. When a buddy of mine from college told me about a position opening up to teach English and Criminal Justice at the community college in Ashland, I took it as a sign—an opportunity I couldn’t ignore. The weight of jeopardizing my life and his wellbeing diminished substantially when I took the leap of faith of a career change this late in life. And the amount of relief knowing I wouldn’t have to answer calls that change other people’s lives anymore had granted me a sense of peace I needed desperately.
When I was younger, I knew I wanted to be a deputy like my dad, but earned a college degree as a back-up. Grateful I made that choice, now I actually get to put it to use. Teaching was the only other job I could ever see myself doing, ironic since my mother was also a teacher. They say you follow what you know, and I’ve now experienced both of my parents’ careers in my lifetime.
“We’re here,” I declare as I pull into the driveway of my parent’s house, the same house I was raised in on the border of Emerson Falls and Ashland, Oregon. The porch swing I remember spending evenings on with my mom still sits under the eaves, the potted flowers sit in front of each post anchoring up the patio, and the giant mulberry tree I remember climbing and falling out of too many times to count rustles in the breeze of this cold winter day.
“Daddy, can you press my red button?” Grayson starts to panic in his car seat the second we stop, anxious to run inside to my parents.
“Yeah, hold on bud. And hey, how about some manners?”
“Please! Please, Daddy!” I laugh as I exit the car and open his door, releasing him from the confines of his version of a prison, then help him down before he takes off for the door. “Grandma!” Grayson yells as he jumps into my mother’s arms.
“How’s my favorite little man this morning?” She smiles down at him, but I can see the exhaustion on her face. My mom has been taking care of Grayson for almost five years now, ever since Hannah died and I had to return to work. She’s in her late sixties and insists she still has the energy to keep up with him, but she literally retired from teaching and then became a caregiver to my son in just a few months’ time. I’ll never be able to truly express how grateful I am to my parents because I never would have gotten through the past five years without them. It truly takes a village to raise a child, and my village stepped up when Hannah died unexpectedly.
I never planned on raising my son alone. Hell, I never imagined that Hannah would die just months after Grayson was born. It’s ironic that the night we got engaged she was so worried about something happening to me because of the nature of my job. But I don’t think we ever could have anticipated her being the one to die before her time.
“He’s loaded with information and ready to talk your ear off,” I answer, handing her Grayson’s backpack full of extra clothes and toys, and of course his book on the human body. The kid can’t read yet, but he still has the thing memorized.
“I expect nothing less. Are you ready for breakfast?” She asks, depositing him on the ground as we make our way further inside. I stop momentarily to deposit his coat, beanie, and gloves in the closet by the door, then follow the two of them towards the smell of food.
“Yes. I’m super hungry!” Grayson races for his chair at the table, jumping up and positioning himself, waiting with his fork in hand.
“Be careful. He seemed to like waffles yesterday, but today he may not.”
“Oh, believe me. I know how wishy-washy kids can be. When you were little, you loved bacon one day, and couldn’t stand it the next.”
“Who doesn’t like bacon?” My dad inquires boisterously as he rounds the corner and steps into the kitchen, kissing my mother on the cheek.
“Your son. Remember when he wouldn’t touch bacon for the longest time?”
My dad eyes me suspiciously and then laughs. “Yeah, I seriously questioned if we were related for a while.”
“Don’t worry. I won’t turn down bacon now.” Turning to face my son now, I bend down so we’re at eye level as he waits anxiously in his chair. “Be good for Grandma and Grandpa today, okay? I’ll see you tonight.”
“Okay, Daddy. I love you.” He puckers his lips as I meet him for a kiss.
“I love you too, bud.” Ruffling his blonde hair and memorizing his dark brown eyes, I’m hit with the realization that he looks more and more like Hannah with each passing day.
“Have a good day, Luke.” My mother steps beside me, pulling me in for a hug.
“Thanks. See ya, Dad.” I wave to him before making my way out the door and back in my car, cruising through the town before arriving at the campus with a few minutes to spare before my English 101 class starts.
It’s a Monday morning in mid-February, the stark winter chill still slicing through the air, reminding us that spring won’t be coming anytime soon. As I make my way to the classroom I’m assigned to this semester, I still get a sense of nostalgia when I think about how different my life is now that I don’t report as a deputy anymore. It’s actually a relief, knowing that I don’t have to see all the gruesome aspects of life and the evil that still exist in a place like Emerson Falls any longer, especially having experienced my own personal hell on the job.
I place my shoulder bag on the table in the front of the room, unload my books and papers to return to the students today, and then prepare for my first two classes. The window on the back wall gives me a clear view of the campus, the lake that rests in the middle of the buildings, and students trudging through the cold weather as they start making their way to class.
Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, I teach during the day from eight until four, with one break from noon to two. Tuesdays and Thursdays, I teach night classes from four to ten. The schedule has worked out so far, but that
guilt of having to rely on my parents solely with Grayson still resonates in my chest.
I had planned on looking for a nanny to help alleviate the stress on my parents, but time got away from me and my mother insisted she could manage taking care of him still until Grayson starts Kindergarten in the fall. We’ve still got a little over six months until that happens, which means more time for me to feel guilty relying on her and my dad.
Towards the end of my second class today, my phone buzzes with a call from my father. He never calls while I’m teaching, so my mind instantly veers to the worst place. Staring down at my phone, I only contemplate having to answer it for about two seconds before I swipe across the screen.
“Excuse me, class. I have to take this,” I say, walking outside before speaking. “Dad? Is everything okay?”
“I’m so sorry to bother you, Luke. But no,” he sighs and then starts speaking frantically. “Your mom fell while she was at home with Grayson.”
“Oh, fuck. Okay, where is she now?” My heart is slamming against my chest while I pace outside of the door, a million scenarios of what happens next wafting through my brain.
“She’s at the hospital. They think she might have broken her hip. I have Grayson with me, but I don’t know how long we’re going to be at the hospital and you know how antsy he can get. I hate to do this to you son, but I’m headed there to drop him off to you.”
Huffing out a frustrated breath, I accept that this is the best option right now. “Alright, yeah. That’s fine. I guess I can cancel my afternoon class and get someone else to watch him so I can be at the hospital with you guys.”
“No, don’t worry about that. Your mother is fine right now. I pulled in from the store just minutes after it happened and waited for the ambulance to arrive. I left to bring Grayson to you, but they have her on pain meds and are waiting to do x-rays and scans at the hospital. There’s no need to come by because there’s nothing you can do.” My father also knows how much I fucking hate hospitals.
