by Harlow James
He’s thoughtful and strong, talkative only when he feels he needs to be, and is the most amazing father to the little boy that has me wrapped around his fingers.
“As a friend, yes…” I say, avoiding their eyes once I decide how to answer.
“A friend with benefits?” Jess suggests and all I can do is roll my eyes.
“No. Not at all.”
“Perfect! Then you can go speed dating with me,” she exclaims, yanking on my arm to get my attention.
“Jess…” I whine, knowing there’s no way I’m going to get out of this, although the thought of dating someone and potentially having sex after months of abstinence instantly makes my body heat. Too bad it’s Luke’s body that I picture hovering over mine.
“Fine. When is it?”
“This Saturday.”
I mentally assess my schedule. I don’t have to work at Tony’s that night and Luke should be home.
“Okay. I’ll do it,” I relent. “But you’ve been warned… if this ends horribly, I will never do something like this with you ever again.” My voice is stern as I face her and point a finger at her chest.
“I can accept that. But this will be good for you, for us. Maybe it can help you move past the crush you have on Luke,” Jess slips in as I choke on my saliva.
“What? I don’t… I mean… I…”
“Oh, now I know for certain,” she winks.
“Rachel, do you like Luke?” Pfeiffer leans forward in her seat so I can see her as I close my eyes and admit defeat.
“How can you look at him and not find him attractive?” I whisper, opening my eyes to find Grayson again, scaling the playground for the umpteenth time.
“True. Luke is handsome. But don’t do something you’re going to regret, okay?”
I stare back at my best friend, knowing she’s only trying to look out for me. And I get it, understand it, and ultimately know there is nothing I can do where it concerns my attraction for Luke. It’s just a physical thing, nothing more. That’s what vibrators were made for, right?
“Although… the idea of you and Luke ending up together is something that would make for quite the story. My best friend and one of Cash’s best friends? Falling in love? That’s the kind of stuff romance novels are written about,” Pfeiffer smiles, bouncing up and down in her seat.
“Yeah, well. I don’t see that happening, so let’s forget this conversation ever happened, okay?”
Jess and Pfeiffer glance knowingly at each other just as Grayson runs up to me. “Yeah, okay,” Jess scoffs as Grayson and I get ready to leave.
“Hey, don’t you think you’re the pot calling the kettle black, Miss I-have-a-crush-on-my-co-worker?” Staring down at Jess, I lift my brow and rest my hands on my hips.
She cowers a bit before recovering, brushing her long, black hair behind her shoulders, and sitting up confidently. “All the more reason why you and I need to partake in this speed dating event, Rach.” She points a finger up at me. “We’re both in sticky situations. Maybe there’s a polite, safe, guy that will be there to show us the light. I’ll see you Saturday night.”
Once Luke gets home from work that afternoon, I do my best to avoid him, almost as if he can sense the conversation that took place today and my admittance to the attraction I feel towards him. But a shift at Tony’s tonight means I have to exit my room so I can leave the house.
I walk out of my room in tight blue jeans and a low cut, curve hugging top with my hair down for a change—my typical outfit I wear when I work at Tony’s two nights a week. Bartending is definitely not my forte, but it gets me out of the house and provides some adult interaction, seeing as how most of my conversations I hold these days are with an almost five-year-old boy.
Fixing my shirt as I walk down the hall, I barely notice Luke standing there watching me until I lift my head, his darkened eyes surveying me as I stop a few feet in front of him.
“Uh…” he starts and then swallows hard. “Uh, you’re working at Tony’s tonight?” He asks, his eyes bouncing between mine before dipping down and gazing over my entire body. I swear I can feel the heat emanating from them as they travel up and down my torso, marking me with his stare before landing back on my face.
My body is alive with electricity as I watch him watch me, making me question if this attraction I have for him isn’t just one-sided. The tick of his jaw catches me off-guard as we stand there in a silent stare down.
Finally, I find some words. “Uh, yeah. Another girl wanted to trade shifts, so she took my Sunday night since she needed someone to work her shift tonight.”
He nods. “I see.”
“Are you okay? Are you mad or something?” I’m suddenly worried, like I forgot about a meeting he had that he needed me here for.
“What? No… no, I’m not mad. It’s just…” he stutters, fidgeting in place, his eyes still bouncing up and down my body. “Never mind. Uh, have a good night.” He steps around me, headed back towards Grayson’s room where he’s getting dressed after his bath.
“I’m closing, so I’ll be home late,” I call after him.
Twisting to see me, he nods and then waves me off. “Be safe,” he says before walking through the doorway and leaving me thoroughly confused, but not giving me enough time to process it as my shift starts in twenty minutes.
Tony’s is exceptionally busy for a Wednesday, and I don’t usually close, so I know I’ll be paying for it tomorrow when Grayson rises at his usual six am wake-up time. But I make the most of it—conversing with the locals, enjoying the casual flirtations of young men who give me their attention throughout the night. The issue is—none of them are Luke, further cementing the problem I have with developing feelings for my boss.
I should be open to seeing someone, establishing a life even more in this town that I’ve grown to love. There are plenty of single, available men who would see me as a catch—educated, well-mannered, strong-willed, and hardworking. I would make any man proud to introduce me to his family. But the young boy who’s become my partner in crime and his surly, closed off dad are the only two men I seem to be interested in. Maybe this speed dating event with Jess on Saturday is the perfect way to snap me back to reality, remind me that there are other fish in the sea.
When I quietly unlock the door to the house just after one in the morning, I’m so tired I can barely keep my eyes open. Smelling of fried food and booze, I know I should take a shower, but I relent to the exhaustion and decide to take one in the morning instead. I fall into my bed, passing out almost immediately after my head hits the pillow and waking up in a pool of drool just after six. The quiet of the house is unsettling, knowing that usually Grayson and Luke are both up by this time.
I shrug it off and walk to the bathroom, hopping in the shower and basking in the hot water cascading down my body, washing away the stench of the bar from last night and offering me a clean slate for the day. I usually shower in the evenings, so feeling this refreshed in the morning is a new feeling, one I didn’t realize I would enjoy so much.
But never did I imagine that my change in routine would result in Luke walking in on me in the bathroom—freshly showered, standing on the rug, and butt-ass naked.
Chapter 8
Luke
The heaviness of the weights helps me fight against the tension coiling over my entire body. Pushing up and over my head, I struggle to lift the extra pounds I’m punishing myself with from my impure thoughts of Rachel last night as I count the reps out loud and sweat drips from my pores.
When she came down the hall in that outfit, I swear I felt my eyes pop out of my head. Not only is the woman naturally gorgeous, but she’s never worn something so form fitting and sexy in front of me before, at least that I can recall in the last month she’s been living with me. Usually when she leaves for her shifts at Tony’s she already has her jacket on or doesn’t wear something so revealing. And now all I can see is her curves under that red fabric, her jeans that always look good on her but seemed to look
like a second skin yesterday more than usual. Even when she walks around the house, her clothes are usually loose and cover all the parts that remind me she’s a woman—an exquisite, sexy woman that I am noticing more and more with each passing day that she’s living in my house.
Rachel has infiltrated my life, upended everything I had committed to the moment I realized I was on my own in raising my son. Sure, my family has helped tremendously in looking after Grayson when I need them. But I’m his only parent and I made a promise to myself to never forget that he is my number one priority always. So I vowed to swear off relationships, knowing that it would take a miracle for me to ever be able to feel for someone like I felt for Hannah anyway.
I was doing well, had my mind focused on my responsibilities as a man and a father—and then this brunette came along, with her genuine regard for helping others, her smile that creates a glow around her each time she shows it, her heart that has opened up to my son with no questions asked, and a body I can’t ignore any longer.
I’m completely attracted to a woman for the first time since I lost my wife, and it’s scaring the shit out of me. Not only because it hasn’t happened before, but because she’s also my nanny.
So what do I do besides mentally berate myself for my feelings, for the twitch I get in my dick when I picture her face and think about how sweet she smells? I work out, punish myself physically because I don’t think I can make myself feel any more guilty than I already do.
Thank God I set up my own gym in my garage a few years ago when I realized that trying to make time for the gym between my shifts as a deputy and taking care of a toddler would be virtually impossible. I purchased a bench and set of free weights from a guy off of Craigslist, installed some rubber mats, picked up a few kettle bells at Big 5, and created my own little sanctuary where I can work off stress—or in this case, punish myself for the abnormal thoughts in my mind.
I try to work out five times a week, usually in the mornings before Grayson, and now Rachel, get up. But today I got a late start. Grayson woke around midnight with a night terror, an infrequent but occasional occurrence, which left me yearning for more sleep. By the time I got him settled again, it was after one and I heard Rachel come in from her shift at Tony’s. I tossed and turned with the vision of her in my mind until I finally passed out. It was just after five when the light peeking through my blinds caught my eye, so I changed and came out to the garage, knowing Grayson would probably sleep a little later this morning since he lost an hour last night. Contrary to what other kids do, my son makes sure to get his sleep if he misses any.
Sweat dripping down my chest and a burning ebbing in my lungs, I feel somewhat better as I stand from the bench and reach for my water, drenching my throat with the cold liquid and wiping my forehead with the bottom of my shirt. I don’t have class until tonight, so there’s no rush to get ready, which makes me think it would be nice to make a big breakfast for Rachel and Grayson and enjoy eating with them, with time to spare.
I walk inside the house from the garage, taking note that the house is still silent, the clock showing it’s just after six-thirty so I know Grayson won’t be asleep for much longer. In desperate need of a shower but remembering I don’t have any towels in my own bathroom, I decide to steal one from Grayson and Rachel’s bathroom, vowing to replace it as soon as I fold the clean ones in the laundry room.
The door is closed and the light is off, so I think nothing of opening it in a flash. But the last thing I expected to see is a stark naked woman, standing on the rug with a towel hanging from her hand as she turns to face me and the realization hits us at the same time.
“Ahhhh!” She screams, pulling the towel up from the floor as quickly as possible to cover her bare body—but the damage is done. Nothing can erase the vision of her smooth skin and pink nipples from my mind, the small patch of hair above her pussy that leads you to believe there’s not much else there, the soft roundness of her stomach and her thick thighs and long legs that I instantly envision wrapped around my hips.
“Fuck!” I shout, turning on a dime and covering my eyes, even though she’s behind me now. I can’t stop seeing her, her naked body standing there—so feminine, so perfect. I’ve forgotten how seductive the female form can be, and thus my dick rises to attention almost immediately. “I’m so sorry, Rachel. I’m so fucking sorry…”
“Luke! What the hell? What are you doing in here?” She shouts and then instantly lowers her voice, realizing Grayson is still asleep. “Why are you in our bathroom?”
“I needed a towel. All of mine are in the laundry room still and I just thought I’d borrow one from in here since it was on my way to my room. What are you doing showering in the morning with the light off?” I want to push my eyes back as far as they’ll go in my head, hoping the intrusion will burn the image of her away. But the more I see it—her perfect body—the harder my cock gets.
“I was too tired to shower when I got home last night and I just turned the light off. I was about to wrap the towel back on me to go to my room.” Her explanation makes sense, especially because if I had seen the light on under the door, I would have knocked.
“Fuck. I’m sorry, Rachel. This doesn’t have to be weird, I promise,” I offer, more for me than for her I’ll admit. Because now I’m afraid when I finally look her in the eyes again, all I’ll be able to see is her naked body beneath her clothes. “Are you decent?” I ask before slowly turning, granted with her back to me as her head hangs between her hands. The towel is back around her body, but low enough that I catch a glimpse of a tattoo on her shoulder blade that looks like some sort of constellation.
She turns to face me, her eyes slowly reaching up to meet mine, her cheeks clearly flushed in embarrassment. “Oh, God. I can’t even look at you,” she chuckles, lowering her head again.
“No. Don’t do that. It’s okay. We’re both adults, we can handle this,” I say just as Rachel’s eyes dart down to my crotch and her eyes widen when she sees my dick still tenting my shorts.
“Fuck,” I turn around now, hiding my junk in my hands as though that will erase the last five minutes and my reaction to her.
“Okay. Well, let’s just move past this, alright? I uh… I’m sorry. This is embarrassing…”
“Believe me, Rachel. You have nothing to be embarrassed about,” I say a little too quickly, biting my tongue as the words leave my mouth.
“Uh, sure. Okay, I’m gonna get dressed. Grayson will be up soon,” she mumbles, rushing around me and sashaying down the hall, her ass covered by the towel. But now the thought of what that part of her looks like won’t clear from my mind either.
“Fuck!” I shout, yanking a towel from the shelf and rushing to my bathroom, where I chastise myself for the urge to jerk off to the vision now burned into my retinas. I manage to get my dick to calm down without releasing my frustration, knowing that jerking off to another woman is crossing yet another line I’m not ready to erase.
After I dress for the day and greet my son, I make up some bullshit excuse to get me out of the house early, knowing that being near Rachel right now is not good for my blood pressure. Feigning needing to run a few errands, I ask Rachel to watch Grayson for a few hours more before I can meet up with Cooper and Cash, keeping our bi-weekly hangouts on schedule. As much as I want to spend every minute with my son, I know that maintaining my friendships is also critical for my sanity. Plus, I needed to get the fuck out of my house before I made a mess in my pants and embarrassed myself even further.
“You look like hell,” Cash greets me at Skye’s, waiting in line to order his coffee.
“Dude… I had a morning, okay?” I reply, scanning the menu even though I know it won’t change my order.
“Everything okay?
I shake my head and close my eyes, which was a huge mistake as the image of a naked Rachel instantly pops up while I desperately try to keep my dick from doing the same. “No, fucker. It’s… fuck, it’s nothing…”
“Doesn
’t sound like nothing,” he says just as Cooper arrives. The three of us wait for our drinks and then choose a table outside under an umbrella, shielding us from the bright sun, even though the air is still chilly this late in March.
“So, you gonna tell us what happened, or are we expected to just watch you have a nervous breakdown?” Cooper chuckles before taking a sip of his coffee.
I stare down at my cup, my palms holding the cardboard tightly, almost to the point I’m about to pop the lid off the top.
“O-kay,” Cash says, reaching for my drink before it explodes. “Talk, fucker.”
I take a deep breath and then let it out, knowing if there are any people I can confess this to, it’s these guys. “I walked in on Rachel this morning…”
“Taking a shit?” Cash interrupts and I lunge for him as he cackles.
“No, idiot. She was naked… she just got done taking a shower.”
Both of their eyebrows raise as Cooper laughs. “Oh, shit. Bet that was uncomfortable.”
