by Harlow James
“You have no idea, not to mention the fact that I live with this woman and now have to look her in the eyes every day, knowing what she looks like with no clothes on.”
“You hadn’t imagined that yet? Forgive me, Luke… but if you hadn’t noticed what a knock out Rachel is, I’m concerned for your dick, man. I know you haven’t been with anyone since Hannah, but…”
“Stop right there, Cash, before I have to punch you. Don’t talk about Hannah, okay? You have no idea how much this last month has rattled my mind,” I growl through clenched teeth, realizing I’m reaching my breaking point right now, but grateful it’s in front of these assholes and not Rachel.
“Okay, take a deep breath, Luke,” Cooper chimes in, relieving some of the tension between the three of us. “You look like you’re about to explode, man.”
“I feel that way. I am finding a woman attractive for the first time since my wife died and it’s fucking with me, guys. And now I’ve seen her naked, though not by choice, and I live with her. How am I supposed to get past this?”
Cash shoots a contemplative look at Cooper and then focuses back on me. “Do you want to get past it? I mean, there are worse women out there than Rachel. Hell, she’s actually a catch, man.”
I shake my head. “You can’t be serious. The woman is my nanny. I can’t date her.”
“I get where you’re coming from, Luke,” Cooper interjects. “Maybe you just need to date in general, see if it’s Rachel you really want, or if maybe you're fixating on her because she’s the only woman you see on a day-to-day basis.”
That tidbit actually might make some sense. Rachel is around me every day. Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe I need some aversion therapy to remind myself that I’m not ready for this—that I don’t want someone new in my life in a romantic way.
“You know… I saw a flier for some speed dating event this weekend,” Cash says as he looks around. “I think it was up at the counter, in fact. Anyway, maybe you go, talk to several women, and see how you feel. If anything, you’ll get your answer about whether you’re ready to date or not. Or at the very least if Rachel is the only woman you’ve got your eye on.”
Call me crazy, but the idea has merit. As much as the thought of dating makes me sick to my stomach, I need to know if this thing with Rachel is a coincidence, or if she’s actually buried herself beneath my skin.
“Fuck. With the way I’m feeling right now, I’m willing to try it.”
“Yes, Luke!” Cash smacks me on the shoulder before standing to retrieve the flier from inside. Cooper fills me in on Clara’s pregnancy a bit before Cash returns and I slide the flier into my pocket, vowing to look at it more later.
Another thirty minutes pass by as Cash reminds us about his impending wedding, happier than a bride-to-be, in my opinion. But in all honesty, I’m ecstatic for the guy. Piper and he went through some shit to get where they’re at. He proved that love is worth fighting for and can’t be helped, a reminder of the love I felt for my late wife and the turmoil I feel in developing feelings for another woman recently.
I make my way home, spend a few hours playing Legos with Grayson before I dress and head to the campus to teach my night classes, avoiding Rachel as much as possible in the house. I know it’s the cowardly thing to do, but I’m hoping that the passing of time will help the embarrassment subside and things will go back to normal sooner rather than later.
When I arrive home later that night, I’m greeted by Rachel sitting on the couch with a bowl of popcorn between her legs, her eyes fixated on the television.
“Hey,” I say when she sees me. Smooth, Luke. Real smooth.
“Hi. How were your classes?” She asks, shoving a handful of kernels in her mouth. The smell is enticing as I make my way inside and take a seat next to her, reaching for my own palmful of the buttery snack.
“Good. Long. Time was passing really slowly tonight.”
“I agree. Look, Luke,” she turns to me, pausing the television before speaking. “I know this morning was embarrassing for both of us. But I don’t want things to be weird. I love working for you and taking care of Grayson. I just want us to forget about it and go back to normal. What do you say?” Her eyes are pleading with me to agree.
I huff and then look down at my hands in my lap. “Yeah, I want that too. Again, I’m so fucking sorry, Rachel.”
She reaches for my hand, smoothing over the top of it with her thumb, her touch heating up my body but also calming me in a way I didn’t anticipate. “It’s okay. It was an honest mistake and I know you didn’t do it on purpose. Now,” she declares with more confidence, “I think you should finish this episode of Friends with me before we go to bed.” She reaches for the remote and presses play as the re-run of one of the greatest shows of all time starts again.
Chandler walks into Monica and Rachel’s apartment, oblivious to the fact that a naked-from-the-waist-up Rachel is walking out of the bathroom. When they notice each other, she screams, he shouts, and she runs off to her bedroom in a panic.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I laugh, throwing my head back against the cushion as Rachel reciprocates wildly beside me. “Did you know this episode was on?”
Once she catches her breath, she answers me. “I swear, it was purely coincidental. I was channel surfing and saw it and I knew it was kismet. See, it happens, Luke.” She winks at me and fuck if it doesn’t make my smile widen.
“But you know what happens next, right?” She asks. “Rachel demands to see Chandler’s penis since he saw her boobies,” she mewls, and then glances down at my crotch before popping her eyes back up and flashing me a shit-eating grin.
“Nope, no way,” I say, throwing my hands in the air as I stand and head for my bedroom.
“Oh, come on, Luke! It’s only fair!” She yells after me, giggling by herself on the couch.
“Goodnight, Rachel!” I call after her, laughing on my own as I shut the door to my bedroom.
I can’t tell if she’s just trying to lighten our situation or if she’s serious. But the fact that Rachel is making me feel ten times better about the situation than I did this morning just proves what kind of person she is—the type that is more than a pretty face and perfect body. No, she’s the type of woman that digs herself deep in your life until you have no choice but to ask her to stay.
I know I find her beautiful. I know she loves my kid. But I’ve yet to decide if I want more from her, or if I’m willing to even allow myself that option. I guess a few rounds of speed dating will help me figure that out. I hope something will show me the right choice before I mess a good thing up royally. And right now it seems only time will tell.
Chapter 9
Rachel
“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” I whisper to Jess as she drags me by the hand into the comedy club, a fairly new establishment in Emerson Falls.
Red leather booths and small tables encircle a stage where black velvet curtains fall to the ground and brick walls enclosing the rather large room are painted in a dark grey. The dim lighting gives the space a more intimate feel, and the long bar along one wall is stocked with liquor bottles against a mirrored background, glistening in the illumination of the lights, waiting to be consumed and influence bad decisions.
“It’s going to be fun, Rach. We need this. I know I sure do…” she trails off as we come to a stop in the line to check in.
“You will find someone, Jess. You’re a catch.”
She huffs and then brushes her hair behind her shoulders. “Dick is everywhere, but chemistry isn’t.”
I let out a jovial laugh at her bluntness just as her eyes widen at her vision across the room.
“Oh my God, he’s here,” she whispers and then turns to face me.
“Who?”
She closes her eyes, inhaling and exhaling heavily. “The new doctor from the hospital…”
“What? Did you know he would be here?”
Her eyes pop open again as she looks
me dead in the eye, her face so pale I think she might puke. “No. What the hell is he doing here?”
I shake my head at her, blinking repeatedly. “Probably the same thing you are… trying to find someone to bang.”
“Oh God. What is he going to think of me? What if we get sat together?” I can almost hear the wheels turning in her head as she glances over her shoulder once more. Then suddenly, she’s standing up tall and shaking off her freak-out. “You know what? It’s okay. We’re adults. I can handle this. We’re just co-workers…”
“Somehow I get the impression you wish you were more,” I tease, but just as she’s about to elaborate, the line moves and we’re suddenly at the front. Once we check in and get our name tags, we head straight to the bar, ordering up some liquid courage to help get us through the next few hours as I survey the room and take stock of the eligible men here tonight.
Tables are arranged in lines in the center of the room with dividers up between them for privacy. One side is for the men, the other for the women. The lady in charge quiets the room and explains that each date will last for fifteen minutes. We will speak to eight people over the next two hours. The men will move seats, but the women will remain at the same tables. If at the end of the date you both feel a connection, then contact information can be exchanged. There will be a slight break between dates four and five to use the restroom and refill drinks, and then the rest of the evening will work like the first half.
As the murmurs of excitement increase again, Jess turns to me.
“Thank you again for coming. I didn’t want to do this alone.”
I shrug, knowing there’s not much else I’d be doing tonight, except maybe ogling my boss in his own house. “I’m glad you got me out of the house.”
“How’s the tension? Still sexual and palpable?” She asks with a smirk.
“Ugh. He’s so handsome, Jess. It’s not fair. And I’m trying to ignore it, but it’s hard, especially after he saw me naked,” I whisper as she twists to face me so fast, I swear I hear her neck pop.
“What? Oh, I need details.”
As soon as I finish recounting my embarrassment a few days ago that still leaves me hot between my legs when I picture Luke’s fully aroused dick, the bell rings for us to take our seats.
My first date is with a guy named John. He’s not bad looking, and seems nice enough, but there’s definitely no connection. I thank him for the conversation, grateful at least that he helped me feel more at ease during this situation, and then move on to my next date.
If John was boring, then this next guy is the opposite. Brandon is a frat guy turned banker. But really he talks to me like a used car salesman, bragging about his records in college football and his sales rank at his job—obviously trying to sell me on how exceptional he is, but all I see is a shallow and self-absorbed man. I barely get a word in edge-wise before our fifteen minutes is up, when he tells me I’m too quiet and then moves on to the next victim.
“Wow,” I mumble around the rim of my martini, thankful that was over. I wonder how Jess is fairing in this situation, curious if she’s having as much luck as I am. As date number three takes a seat and I introduce myself, the man licks his lips and leans in closer to me.
“Now this is what I’m talking about,” he growls, instantly making me nauseous. The man has so much hair on his knuckles, I feel like I’m sitting across from a sasquatch.
“Oh, okay…”
“Damn, girl. You are fine,” he slurs, tipping back the last drink of his scotch and snapping his fingers at the waitress for another.
“Uh, thank you?” I say more as a question because I’m not sure I should accept his words as a compliment.
“You’re easily an eight… your boobs are a little small, but I can handle that as long as you have a nice ass. Do me a favor, stand up and turn around so I can check you out.”
I feel like my eyes are about to pop out of my head. “Excuse me? I don’t know who you think you are…” I start, but before I can finish my sentence, a man wearing a suit with a radio in his ear comes over and yanks the man up by his collar, escorting him out of the club.
“I’m so sorry, Rachel,” the woman in charge scurries over to my table and whispers to me. “The last two women he sat with complained about him, so I stood by to overhear the conversation so I had reason to remove him. Although we rarely have any problems, we can’t control how people behave once they’re in here.”
I flash her a small smile and relax back in my chair. “It’s okay. I understand. Thank you for removing him quickly though, because if he sat there for much longer I was contemplating inflicting some physical damage,” I joke, but internally I’m screaming. If the next guy that sits down is anything like the last two, I’m leaving at the break.
This wasn’t my idea anyway. I came tonight as moral support for Jess. Besides, the only person I seem to want these days is the college professor, loving father, and genuine man I’m currently living with and working for. Even after talking to two guys entirely, and another one for a few minutes, I can safely say that no one compares to him. He’s everything right on paper, but I know he’s got more baggage than the suitcases I packed when I moved out here.
As I wait for this round to end and my next date to appear, I twist in my seat to observe the club. I can’t see any other people obviously since they’re immersed in their dates behind the privacy screens, but the buzz of conversation and sound of glasses clinking behind the bar keeps me entertained until the buzzer sounds, ending that round.
Turning back to the table, I set my glass down and stare at my hands in my lap, mustering up the courage to at least make it through this fourth date. I can handle one more fifteen minute sprint and then I’ll check in with Jess to see how she’s doing, fake a headache if necessary, and leave during the break.
I can see the man sit down in front of me from the ground, his large loafers sliding under the table and taking up ample space, a pleasant sign that at least he has some fashion sense. But when I lift my eyes to take in his face, nothing could have prepared me for seeing the man who occupies more time than deemed appropriate in my mind, staring wide-eyed back at me.
✽✽✽
Luke
“Rachel?” I manage to say as I stare at her, the dim lighting in the club making her seem darker and more mysterious than normal. I’m used to seeing her in jeans and sweaters, or yoga pants and t-shirts, which are far more enticing than the denim.
But tonight she’s dressed up and radiant in a way that’s brand new to me, clad in a black sleeveless dress that offers just a slight hint of cleavage, her long brown hair down in soft curls, her make-up heavier than I’ve ever seen it, her lips a deep red that screams sexual desire. She’s breathtaking, and also clearly looks as confused as me.
“Luke? What… what are you doing here? Where’s Grayson?” She asks, looking around like he’s going to pop out from his hiding place at any minute.
“Obviously not here. He’s with Clara and Cooper,” I reply, moving to run a hand through my styled hair, still perplexed that we ended up in the same place tonight.
When Cooper and Cash convinced me to attend this event tonight, I remembered Rachel telling me she had plans this evening, so I asked Cooper if he and Clara would be up for taking Grayson for a few hours. My mom is still fragile and I didn’t want to add more stress on my dad, so they really were my last option. I can’t expect Rachel not to have a life outside of taking care of my son, so I knew I’d have to ask someone else to watch him so I could participate in this little experiment—the chance to determine if my attraction to Rachel is just because she’s around me every day. Little did I know that the woman in question would be here, putting herself out there as well.
My first three dates were nice, but that’s all I felt. Diane was a single mom, so we obviously had things to talk about, but I didn’t feel anything for her physically. Tiffany was beautiful, but too young. In fact, I think I’ve seen her around the college. And B
rooklyn was a little too sexually aggressive, shoving her toes up the leg of my pants, making her motives clear as day, especially when she asked me if I wanted to meet up later.
They were all lovely women. Questionable in sanity at moments and interesting enough, but none of them held a candle to Rachel, only confirming what I suspected— that this thing I feel for her isn’t just a physical attraction. It’s becoming more than that.
As she shakes her head and reaches for her martini, the smile that graces my lips comes out so naturally. A fan of irony, I can’t help but wonder how the hell we both ended up in this situation?
“So… what made you come tonight? No offense, but you never really get out of the house,” she asks before taking a sip of her drink.
“Yeah, well, I thought maybe I’d try something new. Honestly, Cash and Cooper convinced me to come.” I avoid her eyes with my answer, trying not to let her see the real reason why I’m here. “What about you? I didn’t know you were dating.” The instant the words leave my mouth, I regret saying them. This is not an appropriate topic to be discussing with my nanny, let alone a woman who is living with me and slowly making her way into my life.
“Well, I’m not really. I came more as support for Jess, Pfeiffer’s friend,” she says while glancing up at me.
“So you’re not looking to fall in love?” Seriously, Luke? Did you not just chastise yourself for being inappropriate, and then you ask that?
Her lips tip up playfully. “Not right this moment, but someday, yes. I want a family, a husband. I want what Cash and Pfeiffer have, or Cooper and Clara. I want to find my forever.” Her words resonate with me because I thought I found my forever with Hannah, and then fate dealt me a nasty hand.
“You deserve that, Rachel. You’re an amazing woman.” I don’t even have to embellish because the more I’ve gotten to know her, the more I realize every word I just spoke is true.
Her cheeks flush as she smiles across the table at me. “Thank you. You’re a great guy too, Luke. You deserve to meet someone as well.” She stops there, and I appreciate it, because if she brought up Hannah right now, I’d probably run out the door.
