Revived: Emerson Falls, Book 4 (Emerson Falls Series)

by Harlow James

  “Thank you,” I flick my eyes up to Luke’s as I take his hand and he leads me away from the car so the rest of the wedding party can exit. I shake off the memory of the conversation with his mom, reminding myself that today is not the day to head down that train of thought. Today is about Pfeiffer and Cash, not the emotional mess I’ve found myself in.

  Jess will be walking with Luke, and I will be walking with Cooper, although the thought of switching partners is certainly appealing right now. But it’s not my wedding and seeing as how Cooper is Cash’s best man and I’m the maid of honor, that’s just how the cookie crumbled.

  “Let’s do this,” Cooper says as we line up and start walking to the clearing in the trees where the guests are seated in white folding chairs and an arch of flowers has been delivered as a backdrop while Cash and Pfeiffer say their I do’s.

  As we’re walking to the ceremony spot, I can’t help but admire the view of Luke’s ass in his pants, his long legs carrying him forward, his strong body so solid and commanding I can feel heat cover my cheeks.

  “Make sure you dance with him tonight,” Cooper whispers in my ear, darting my eyes to him as I widen them.

  “What?”

  “You heard me.” He winks, and then we put on our game faces and perform our duties as Cash and Pfeiffer get married.

  The ceremony is full of tears, and a few laughs, especially when Grayson shouts at one point.

  “A woman’s heart beats slightly faster than a man’s heart!” He exclaims as Pfeiffer was reciting her vows, describing how fast Cash made her heart flutter.

  Luke scolds him with a smile on his face as I laugh behind my hand and shake my head over at the two of them, Grayson’s pleased grin making us all laugh harder.

  Once the ceremony was finished, everyone headed back to their cars to make their way to Cash and Pfeiffer’s home. The backyard had been transformed into a wedding reception from the movies. White tents with see-through ceilings and walls were anchored on the grass, housing round tables and chairs for around sixty people. White lilies in vases sat atop each table with tea light candles and crystals scattered around. A DJ was stationed in one corner of the tents and a make-shift dancefloor was constructed right in front of him. The caterer from Cristino’s, a local Italian restaurant that has been in Emerson Falls for over thirty years, was set up on the patio where guests could load their plates buffet style and feast.

  “Rachel! I’m gonna eat spaghetti, but I’m sure it’s not as good as yours,” Grayson looks up at me and declares as we wait in line for our food, his tiny hands hoisting the large ceramic plate.

  “Oh, that’s sweet, Grayson. But I’m pretty sure this spaghetti will still be delicious.”

  Since Luke, Grayson and I are all part of the wedding party, we get to sit together and eat just like at home. Grayson itches to get down and dance and asks when it’s time to cut the cake about a thousand times.

  “Jesus, the kid isn’t going to sleep tonight.” Luke finally turns to me and exhales, sitting back in his chair, relaxing for the first time this evening.

  “Either that, or he’s going to pass out as soon as you start driving home.” I smile over at him, catching him staring at me.

  “What? Do I have something on my face? In my teeth?”

  “You’re beautiful, Rachel,” he says honestly, catching me completely off-guard.

  “Oh. Well, thank you.” I can feel my cheeks blush as I hide my face from him.

  “I mean it. I meant to tell you earlier, but it was crazy getting through the ceremony. When you stepped out of the car in your dress though, I… you… you just looked so beautiful.”

  I’m speechless and full of a yearning that has been building for the past two months. The sky blue dresses that Pfeiffer picked out for me and Jess are gorgeous, strapless and soft chiffon fabric that hits just below the knee. She asked us to wear our hair down, with the top half pulled up off of our faces and light make-up, natural and not over the top. She wanted today to be classy, yet simple, and I think she accomplished that beautifully.

  Even though it’s April and there’s still a slight chill to the air, the dress was perfect for the warm afternoon. Now that the sun has set, I’m definitely getting colder though. Luke sees me shudder and then stands from his seat. “Here.” He takes off his coat and then drapes it over my shoulders, instantly covering me in his warmth and his scent. The smell of his cologne is intoxicating, causing me to breathe deeply and close my eyes to savor the feeling of him on me, even though I still feel like we’re miles apart.

  Suddenly, I pop open my eyes and veer up at him from my seat, my nerves firing rapidly but I know I need to take a chance here. “Dance with me,” I say, more as a command than a question.

  His face comes alive with a sexy smirk. “That was my line.”

  I chuckle and then stand, landing my hand in his as he leads me to the dance floor. Several other couples are swaying to the music beside us, but all I care about is feeling this man’s arms wrapped around me, his body alive and beating next to mine, his eyes solely locked on my own. To anyone else, it just looks like two friends sharing a dance, an innocent moment between a father and his nanny. We live together, we’re friends. Friends can dance.

  But inside, my heart is racing, my body heated, my mind swirling with finally getting close to him in a way that lets us dance across the line we’ve been standing on opposite sides of since we met.

  “Tell me more about New York,” he says as his hand finds my hip and he pulls me into him, the brush of his solid torso against my soft curves elicits a moan from me that I desperately try to stifle. The feeling of him holding me as we dance is better than I could have imagined.

  “What do you want to know?”

  “Everything. I just realized tonight that there’s so much about you I don’t know.”

  “I could say the same about you, Luke.”

  He shakes his head. “Yes and no, but you know enough about me to know who I am as a person. You live with me, for Christ’s sake. But all I know is that you moved out here a few months ago and want to be a teacher. What makes Rachel tick? Who is she? What has she been through that makes her, her?”

  I like his forwardness, the slight authority in his voice as he asks me to share my life with him—the details you can’t see on the outside of a person or even the events that have shaped me, even though we do live together. As we continue to move, I swallow and then divulge what I can.

  “I actually grew up very poor,” I start, which makes him react in surprise.

  “Really?”

  I nod. “Yes. I know you know that Pfeiffer and I ran in the same circles back home, a life full of country club events and social gatherings where people would flaunt their money. But I didn’t have that life until I was in middle school.”

  “That’s how you knew Pfeiffer, from when you were kids?”

  “Yes. We became fast friends when I switched schools, and I could tell she differed from the other kids around us. Anyway, I never forgot where I came from though. I never took our new fortune for granted.”

  “How did your family transition to that world?” He questions, staring intently in my eyes, as I recount the story of how my father inherited his business. “What a gracious man, to take care of people who were loyal to him,” he says, referencing the man who left his business to my father.

  “Yes. He changed our lives. But my family and I always believed that money wasn’t everything. And it was my memories from my school in the Bronx, the times I spent in the classrooms with my teachers, that made me believe that the best way to leave behind a legacy wasn’t through charity donations and lavish parties thrown in the name of a good cause. It was from enriching the lives of others.”

  Luke reaches up and tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear, studying me as we continue to move. The small caress of his fingers on my ear and down my neck as his hand trails away leaves a path of heat and tingles in their absence.

  “You are
an incredible woman, Rachel,” he speaks, lowering his voice so only the two of us can hear. And I swear, I see him drop his eyes to my lips before they flick back up to mine.

  “Thank you. You have enriched my life, Luke. You and Grayson. I hope you know that.”

  Silence falls between us even though there are celebrations going on all around us—music is playing, people are laughing and talking, kids are running around and causing mischief. But in this moment, we are the only two people in existence. Luke’s eyes dart down to my lips again and I feel it.

  This is it. This is the moment when he’s finally going to give in. He’s going to kiss me as my body comes alive with desperation to feel his mouth on mine.

  I close my eyes, waiting for that first touch of his lips, the first caress that I’ve been fantasizing about for months, the heat that his body creates in mine makes me feel like I’m about to sweat from the anticipation. And the longer it takes, the more time that passes as I wait for him to make his move, the more unsure I get that this is what he really wants. Slowly lifting my eyelids, I see him standing there, his forehead scrunched up with uncertainty. And then it hits me—he’s not ready. And the disappointment slams into me as we stop moving and he retreats, showing me what I’ve been fearing for the past few weeks—that he may never be ready.

  “Daddy!” Grayson runs up to us just as Luke drops his hand from my palm and my waist.

  “What’s up, bud?” He turns to him, crouching down so he can see him at his level, my stomach twisting in knots as I step away from them.

  “It’s time to cut the cake! I want all the frosting, Daddy!” He yells, pulling Luke up and over to the cake by his hand. As they walk, he turns back to me, contemplating what just happened and shaking his head, almost like he can’t believe he was about to kiss me—again.

  “Did I just see what I think I saw?” Jess speaks softly in my ear, frightening me as my hand clasps over my heart.

  “Jesus, Jess. What the hell?”

  “What the hell? Don’t you what-the-hell me! I know what I just saw. Luke was about to kiss you!” She whispers in my face as the realization dawns on me. All of these people are around us, with eyes and ears and opinions. Maybe Luke wasn’t cursing himself for almost kissing me. Maybe he realized what he was about to do in front of all of these people.

  I twist to watch Pfeiffer and Cash cut their cake, feeding each other a piece delicately, before Pfeiffer shoves a chunk in Cash’s face and they tackle each other, frosting and crumbs flying everywhere.

  “I don’t know that he’ll ever be ready, Jess,” I admit, knowing she can understand where I’m coming from.

  “He will, Rach. There’s obviously something between the two of you. Anybody who isn’t blind can see that. But man, he sure is fighting it, huh?” She nudges me playfully.

  “You have no idea. And I’m trying to be transparent, but part of me is so scared of getting hurt. How long am I supposed to wait? How long do I keep hope that he’ll give in to these feelings? If I had any doubt about the way he feels about me, it’s been erased with what’s happened just here tonight. But there are still so many issues to face, obstacles to overcome…”

  Jess pulls my shoulders so we’re facing each other. “You’re thinking too far into the future. It’s only been a few months, Rach. You still have around four months until Grayson starts Kindergarten, and you start school again. So much can change in that time. Take it one day at a time and just try to live in the moment.”

  “You’re right. I know. I'm just frustrated. But thanks. Hey…” I twist my head around her, searching the backyard for a moment. “Where’s Brooks?”

  Jess’s face instantly lights up. “He’s over talking with Cooper, Kane, and Drew.”

  “I’m gonna guess by the way your face is lit up like a Christmas tree that things are going well?” Apparently after I left with Luke from the speed dating event, Jess and the hot doctor from the hospital, whose name is Brooks, ended up talking and hitting it off. They’ve actually been seeing each other for a few weeks now and she asked him to be her date to the wedding.

  “Things are incredible. But we haven’t yet… you know…” She bites her lip with worry.

  “Are you still fixed on your ‘curse’?” I throw my fingers up like quotations marks around the last word, courtesy of Joey from Friends.

  “Laugh all you want, but what if it happens again?”

  “Jess, you’ve got to get past this. What if you push this guy away over something silly like your alleged curse and you lose the love of your life? He’s not hesitating like Luke is. He’s interested and pursued you. Just do it.”

  She stands tall and straightens her spine. “You’re right. I just need to have sex with him.”

  “Ugh. Apparently I’m the only one not getting any around here now,” I whine playfully.

  Jess takes a sip from her champagne and then rests a hand on my shoulder. “You’ll get there. Just give it time.”

  I know she’s right, that my anxiety is stemming from my need to live in the future right now instead of the present. But even the present is uncertain. I know we are teetering on this line, walking a tightrope that neither one of us knows how to navigate. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that moving to Emerson Falls would drop me into a situation like this—living with a man as his nanny while harboring feelings for him.

  But that is where my life has ended up, and I have no choice but to take each day as it comes, and hope that eventually, everything will work itself out.

  Having driven myself to Pfeiffer’s to get ready this morning, I arrive home later than Luke, his car already in the driveway. I stayed behind to help clean up as much as possible before Birdie, Cash’s surrogate mom, shooed me away. Taking a deep breath, I exit my car and unlock the door, opening it up to a dark and quiet house. There are no lights on, only the faint sound of Grayson’s sound machine filtering down the hallway.

  Luke is nowhere to be found, the sadness of him shutting me out yet again hits me as I amble down the hallway and open my room. I strip out of my dress, throw on some pajamas, and make my way to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. When I lay back down, my thoughts automatically veer back to how it felt being wrapped in his arms and jacket as we danced together. Nothing has ever felt so right, even though so much about our situation is still wrong.

  Chapter 12

  Luke

  “You didn’t follow the directions,” I explain one more time to the student standing in front of me, questioning their grade on their paper.

  “But I did the assignment. Shouldn’t I get the credit?”

  I huff. “That’s not how this works. The directions said to compare the plot and character development in two novels by the same author, looking for similarities and differences.”

  “Okay…”

  “Okay, so you basically wrote me a book report about one book.”

  The student rolls their eyes as I fight the urge to use profanity, a similar reaction I get when Grayson rolls his eyes at me.

  “Whatever,” she finally says and then turns to walk away from me.

  “Dear Lord,” I sigh, straightening the papers on my table, preparing for my next class that will arrive in just ten minutes.

  It’s the Wednesday after Cash’s wedding and I’m submerging myself in my work to avoid dealing with my feelings—especially since I have so many of them after almost kissing Rachel at the wedding.

  I can’t believe I even thought of kissing her in front of all of those people, eyes and ears prodding for information, judgments to be passed the second anyone found out I was contemplating moving on, let alone with my live-in nanny. I mean, how much more cliché could I be? The single dad falling for his nanny? That’s the stuff that you read about in the tabloids. But then, add on the fact that I’m a widower, and well, things get even more complicated.

  He’s moving on? Is it too soon? Is she just a rebound, or it is real? Can it be real when she’s younger than him and
he is clearly taking advantage of the situation?

  So many questions and accusations flow through my mind each time I go back to that night, contemplating how much longer I can sway back and forth about what to do with Rachel and what I feel towards her. The more I think about it, the more I end up fixating on how she felt in my arms, how peaceful and whole I felt as I held her—her delicious body pressed up against mine, her stark green eyes fully focused on me, her full lips taunting me as she spoke and divulged part of her past.

  For the first time since I met her, I felt like she let me in, showed me a part of her that not everyone gets to see. I’ve obviously seen how she is with Grayson and I know she’s a good person with a heart of gold. But there are parts to her that I know she hasn’t shared, and I loved getting even the tiniest morsels of information about her past and how that’s shaped her into the incredible woman she is today.

  The irony isn’t lost on me that I haven’t done that for her yet—shown her another side of the person I am, or at least used to be. She knows I love my son, that I’m happy with my career change and take my new profession very seriously by grading papers in the evening and arriving early to answer questions for my students. But she doesn’t know about my past, my life before Grayson with Hannah, or the moments in my childhood that made me who I am. She definitely makes me want to take that leap of faith though, reveal the raw parts of me that I’ve locked up for years now because the only other person I’ve ever shared them with was my late wife.

  And yet I’m still torn because I know that as soon as we cross that line, all the hard lines in our working relationship become blurry and I don’t know how we move forward from there. I don’t know what her expectations will be, or even if I can fathom building a relationship with her. But what I do know is that she’s the first woman since Hannah that makes me curious about trying.

  The vibrations of my phone on my desk pull me from my thoughts, Rachel’s name flashing across the screen puts a smile on my face instantly. If there’s any indication I should listen to my gut, it’s that—how easily she lights up my face and my day.