by Harlow James
“Yeah… yeah, I’m fucking great. God, I forgot what this feels like. You feel so good, baby… I’m not gonna last.”
“That’s okay, Luke.” She reaches up to stroke my jaw, calming me with her sincere gaze, those stark green eyes lightening the tension in my mind and my heart. “Take your time and do what you need to. But just know, you feel amazing inside of me. I’ve never felt this full.”
“God, you’re incredible,” I growl before crushing my mouth to hers and pulling back, preparing to move in and out of her. Gathering every ounce of control I can manage, my hips pump over and over, remembering the movements as if I were riding a bike again after years of unconsciousness.
Because that’s what these past five years have felt like—like everyone was continuing to live their lives around me, and I was asleep.
But now I’m awake, revived, and breathing deeply, thanks to the woman moaning beneath me.
“God, this feels so good, Luke.”
“Yeah, it does, baby. You’re so fucking wet,” I groan as I effortlessly glide in and out of her.
“I know. That’s what you do to me.”
“You make me crazy, Rachel. I’m not gonna last much longer,” I warn, knowing it’s only a matter of seconds before I burst.
“Come, Luke,” she sits up and whispers in my ear, kissing my neck while I pick up speed. And with a few more thrusts, my orgasm takes over as I pump furiously inside of her, her own moans urging me on as I bust, my cum shooting out of me and into the condom, taking many seeds of doubt and guilt along with it.
“Fuck,” I grumble when I collapse on top of Rachel, both of our chests rising heavily. “Are you okay?” I mumble into her neck, knowing I’m probably crushing her underneath me, but I can’t quite move just yet.
Her head bobs slightly as she presses her cheek to mine. “Yes. I’m perfect. Are you okay?”
Struggling to find the words, I settle on just three as I lift my head and finally find her eyes, staring down into the face of one of the most amazing women I’ve met. “I feel alive.”
And that makes her smile sincerely. “I’m glad.”
Reluctantly, I pull out of her and then make my way across the hall to dispose of the condom, returning to a still naked Rachel wrapped up underneath her comforter. “Do you mind if I sleep with you?”
Her eyes widen in shock. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I want to hold you. I’m not ready to leave you.” The truth is, I’m afraid if I leave her it will cause me to overanalyze what just happened.
That declaration makes her face come alive with happiness as she turns and offers me her back so we can spoon. “I’d love that.”
“Thank you again for tonight. I can’t express how much I care about you, Rachel,” I whisper in her ear as she relaxes in my arms, our naked bodies touching along every inch of skin.
“I care about you too, Luke. Tonight was amazing. I’ll never forget it,” she replies before we both drift off effortlessly and another woman visits me in my dreams.
“241- we’ve got a 12-16 on Highway 11.” The radio dispatcher barks through the call on the radio as I travel down Main Street.
“10-4. On my way. Fatal car crash, we’ve got to turn around,” I signal to Brian, my companion for the night as I flip a bitch as fast as possible, turn on my lights and sirens, and make my way towards the highway.
There’s a slight haziness in the air, decreasing visibility and making the roads slick in the black night, an element I’m sure had a factor in the accident we’re headed towards. Highway 11 has a lot of sharp turns—one wrong move and you could end up needing more than just a new paint job on your car.
When we arrive on scene, the paramedics and fire department had beat us there. Red and blue flashing lights spin and light up the area, moving through the trees around us as the car that slammed into a tree comes into view once I step out of my cruiser.
And then my heart plummets in my chest, my stomach fights to keep my dinner down, and my eyes bug out of my sockets when I realize I know that car and the woman who’s likely inside.
“HANNAH!!!” I scream, sprinting for the vehicle like a bat out of hell, my knees and feet lifting so fast, I barely see the paramedic that stops me cold as we collide.
“Luke! Calm down!” He shouts as I struggle to get around him, his arms holding me tight to his body.
“NO! It’s Hannah! Please tell me it isn’t her!”
His eyes close as the organ in my chest aches before turning black. “NO!”
“I’m sorry, Luke. She’s gone. It looks like she died on impact.”
“No, she… she can’t be gone. You’re lying!” And then an even worse thought occurs. “The baby! Grayson! Was he with her?” I ask frantically, praying my three-month-old son wasn’t in the backseat.
He shakes his head. “No. There’s a base to an infant car seat in the back, but no carrier.”
“Oh my God.” A sudden wave of relief hits me when I realize my son wasn’t with her, but it’s short lived when I realize my wife is still dead.
“Hannah!” I throw my head back and scream into the sky, tears pouring from my eyes as Lenny wraps me in his arms and helps me to the ground. But the next few moments are all a blur as the sharpest pain I’ve ever felt radiates from my chest, blanketing me in a darkness I’ve never felt, and slicing through me with such precision, I don’t know what part of me hurts the worst.
“Hannah,” I sob, wiping my eyes at just the right moment to see the firemen place a yellow tarp over her body still situated in her seat, her head with closed eyes hanging lazily to the side of her neck out the window, her spine clearly broken, blood dripping down her face.
“FUCK! NO!” I try to stand again and run to her, but several more responders come over now, wrestling me to the ground as I fight them with all the adrenaline running through me until all I can do is lie there, forced to accept that my wife is gone, my son is still alive, and my life as I know it has changed.
“Fuck!” I shout as I launch up in bed, surprised I didn’t startle Rachel with the movement and my outburst. Her soft snores continue beside me as my chest heaves and I reach up to feel the wetness on my cheeks. I was crying in my sleep, much like I did that night, the night that altered the world I lived in forever.
Struggling to catch my breath, I take a few deep inhales through my nose and out of my mouth before I feel stable enough to stand. “Son of a bitch.” I slowly move from the bed and make my way to the bathroom, bending down to splash cold water on my face before I stare at myself in the mirror.
It’s been months since I had that dream, and the fact that it occurred the night I finally slept with another woman is not lost on me right now. But Rachel isn’t just any woman. She’s a woman I’m falling for, but this has to mean something.
What a stark reminder of what I lost when I finally feel like I’m ready to move on? What a clear indication that the woman who used to be my wife will forever be etched into my memory and can pop up at any time, like tonight?
I make my way into the kitchen and decide to brew some coffee, looking at the clock and realizing it’s already four in the morning, so there’s really not much point in trying to go back to sleep. Sipping my cup, I stare across the biggest room in my house as I rest my back against the island, surveying the home I bought for Hannah and myself and anticipated filling with memories of our life together. And yet, some plans just don’t come to fruition.
Yet the memories that are being made here now involve my son, myself, and a woman that is part of our lives in every way like Hannah would have been if she were here. I know I shouldn’t read too much into that dream, like the timing isn’t imperative in what I should be feeling after enjoying sex with another woman, basking in how alive I felt after almost five years of darkness. But there’s an inkling in my spine that maybe this is the sign Hannah is giving me that I asked for. And I’m not sure if it’s the sign I was anticipating.
Chapter 21
; Rachel
Stretching my limbs across the cotton sheets, I revel in the sensations that travel all over my body and the blanket of warmth that covers my mind—bliss and satisfaction. My fantasy for the past few months came to fruition last night as Luke made love to me after the most magical and romantic date I’ve ever been on. Luke surpassed all of my expectations of what connecting with him on that level would be like, but the confusion I feel at this moment is quickly making me panic. Twisting to the side, I discover that his side of my bed is empty, when I know he slept with me through the night.
It was the first time I’d shared my bed with anyone that I cared about as much as I do for Luke. His warm arms draped over my waist, his hot breath on my neck, his feet entangled with mine all made me feel safe and loved as we slept.
Love. The four letter word that can change the perception of a relationship in an instant—but I know that’s what I’m feeling for him. Last night only solidified it. I honestly think I fell in love with him the first night I was in his home and saw how he cared for his son within these walls. He was calm, confident, and yet human. He took a risk hiring me to look after Grayson, but the greatest risk he’s taken above all is letting me in.
Of course, I’m not naïve to the fact that the I run the risk of getting hurt monumentally throughout all of this. Luke has slowly been letting me in, but I know he still has issues to confront, guilt to overcome, grief to process. Tenley spoke to me the other night about how Luke acted right after Hannah died—closing everyone off, believing he had to handle everything on his own. He poured all of his energy and thoughts into Grayson, which is honorable and incredible. But it left him to avoid dealing with Hannah’s death completely.
I’ll never grasp how it feels to lose the one you love in a situation so final. But the more I fall for Luke, that fear is building for me, and he’s still very much alive.
Throwing my comforter to the side, I find a pair of pajama shorts and a tank-top and shove them on. I make a pit stop at the bathroom to brush my teeth and tame my wild bed/sex hair, and then continue my search for Luke, hoping like hell he didn’t already run for the hills.
I exit the hallway to an empty living room and kitchen, yet the smell of coffee alerts me that Luke has already been here. Suddenly the hum of music comes from the garage and I let out the air I was unconsciously holding in. The relief I feel knowing he’s here and just working out gives me peace, so I make a cup of coffee and then decide to pop in on him during his workout.
Luke works out most mornings, so finding him out here isn’t a surprise. However, this is the first time that I get a front-row seat, and I’m dying to see the show. I lean against the doorway, my arms folded over my chest while I take a sip of my steaming coffee and luxuriate in the fact that this man is mine.
Positioned on a bench, his long legs are bent at the knee while his back rests along the leather. His veined arms hold up the metal barbell as he lowers and lifts the weight, exhaling sharply with each thrust. Angry music blasts from his Bluetooth speaker in the corner of the room while he pumps through his reps, my eyes admiring his strength and dedication, and also the noticeable bulge in his shorts—the bulge that just the sight of makes me wet between the legs. Luke’s body is built as if he were carved from stone—tall and muscular in the all the right places. He clearly takes pride in his physique, which was probably beneficial when he was chasing down bad guys as a deputy.
Tempted to touch him but wanting to also surprise him, I wait until he rests the bar on the stand, and then I drop my coffee cup to the workbench. I slowly stagger my legs forward around his hips and mount him while his head is still down. Lowering my body gently to rest my hot center above his cock, his head lifts to find me straddling him with a pleased grin on my face.
“Good morning.”
His sexy side-smirk makes my heart skip a beat. “Good morning.”
Rocking my hips back and forth, I continue our conversation. “How’d you sleep?”
“Great, until about four when I woke up in a panic.”
That makes me stop in my movements. “Why?”
“I, uh… freaked out about Grayson finding us until I remembered he wasn’t here. Then I couldn’t go back to sleep.” His eyes avoid mine when he speaks, making me weary.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” He moves to sit up, titling his head to the side to clear the underside of the bar. “This sure is a nice way to be greeted in the morning though.” His voice becomes husky as his hands grip my hips and his eyes move down to my chest where I’m sure my nipples are hard and visible through the thin white cotton.
“I thought so. You’re all sweaty.” I gesture to his face.
“Yup, that’s what happens when you work out.”
“Maybe I should try working out too, so we match.” I lace my words with a tone that I hope Luke can pick up on, my intentions blatantly clear when I start to rub along his length again.
“Definitely. And I know just the workout,” he growls, reaching for the hem of my shirt and slowly pushing it up my body, clearing my head before he tosses it to the ground. His large hands find my breasts as he rests them in his palms, stroking my nipples with his thumbs and then pinching them for good measure.
“Yes…”
“You like that?”
“I like any way you touch me, Luke,” I mewl as his mouth closes over one nipple and I throw my head back, marveling in the feeling. He licks and sucks, stroking the other breast not in his mouth with his hand as I continue to move up and over his steel erection through the flimsy fabric of our shorts.
In a flash, he lifts me in his arms and sets me on the floor so we’re both standing.
“Get naked. I’ll be right back.” Granting me a small kiss, he takes off into the house, leaving me dripping with need for him and slightly puzzled. But I follow his orders, shucking my shorts and standing there, waiting for him in my birthday suit.
When he returns with a strip of condoms, everything clicks. “Think we’ll need all of those?” I tease him.
“Never hurts to be prepared,” he answers before dropping his shorts and throwing his shirt across the garage, standing exposed and delectable in front of me, every inch of his sculpted body available to my eyes.
“Then let’s put them to use.” Reaching for his length, I stroke him long and hard while he moves to kiss me, assaulting my mouth as we press our bodies together. His fist in my hair yanks my head back before his lips find my neck and I gasp at the slight twinge of pain that quickly morphs into pleasure.
“Luke…”
“Are you ready for me, sweetheart?”
“Always.”
Without warning, Luke spins me around and pushes my torso to the bench where I rest my forearms on bended elbow, my ass perched in the air on my legs.
“God, you looking fucking incredible like this.” His hands palm my ass as he squeezes my cheeks and then one hand travels between my legs, testing my wetness.
“Oh!” I shout when he shoves two fingers inside of me abruptly, this controlling and alpha side of Luke surprising me and turning me on more than I imagined. The sound of Luke’s fingers moving in and out of my wetness can barely be heard over the music, which is still thumping out an angry beat.
“Fuck. Hold on.” Moving to his phone, Luke pauses the music and then makes his way back over to me, tearing open a condom and sheathing himself. “Didn’t want to fuck you with that on. I wouldn’t be able to hear you.” He leans over and growls in my ear as he lines himself up and thrusts deep inside.
“Oh, yes!” I shout as Luke sets the pace, pumping furiously in and out of me while I try to handle his force.
“Are you okay? This too hard?”
“No. I love it. Keep going,” I reply, enjoying how intense and full I feel with him rocking back and forth, the sharp pangs of pleasure radiating from my pussy all over my body.
“Fuck, Rachel. You’ve woken the beast. I can’t get enough of you, sweetheart.�
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“I love it, Luke. Keep fucking me. I’m not glass. I won’t break.” Turning to look over my shoulder, I catch a glimpse of a man that is completely transfixed by the image of me bent over in front of him, his dick pounding into me so hard, I’m seeing stars. His shoulders are tight, his hands squeeze the meat around my waist, his eyes are watching the place between my thighs where we’re joined. And he looks alive, mesmerized, carnal and full of lust while we chase the ultimate physical release.
I clench my pussy around him and bend down farther, changing the angle at which he glides in and out.
“Fuck. Do that again,” he growls.
“Do what?”
“Squeeze my cock with your pussy, babe.” So I do.
“God, you look so sexy like this. But I want to see you ride me…”
“Yes. I want to.” He stops and then slides out of me, resuming his seated position on the bench while sitting up as I move to straddle him again, wrap my arms around his neck, and then slide down his length.
“God, Luke. I just want more of you…” I grit in his ear as I bounce up and down, his arms completely encasing me against his torso as I move.
“Me too, Rach. I’ve missed this. I forgot how incredible sex can be.”
“I’ve never had sex like this…”
“It’s because it’s us, babe. You and me.”
Our lips meet in a crash as the pressure builds so quickly, I barely have time to prepare for my orgasm. I scream, throw my head back suddenly and ride out the waves while Luke lifts me up and down a few more times before finding his own release. I melt into him again once my body has settled, small aftershocks working their way through my pussy, making both of us twitch and then laugh.
Pressing a gentle kiss on his collarbone, I mumble against his skin. “Now if all workouts ended that way, I would definitely do this more often.” Not wanting to disconnect from him yet, I tighten my arms around his neck and shoulders, humming as his fingers dance up and down my spine, the scent of sex and man filling the air.
“Well, now we both need a shower. Come on, let’s go get cleaned up.”
