Blackjack

by Elizabeth Knox

  “But…” She starts muttering lowly. “It doesn’t help that you’ve been so distant with me.”

  My eyes picked up to her face and the guilt flushed my entire focus away. Ashley truly looked defeated. Her eyes lost their prisms of blue only to fade away in a tired grey smog. There was less sureness to her and I was to blame for that. It made me clench my fists at the sight of her fading before my eyes.

  “After the day at Boots…” I start, scratching the back of my head as I contemplated what to say.

  “Yeah?” She lifts her head back up, eyes all weary from drowning in her tears. It hurt me to see her this vulnerable.

  “Nothing. Never mind.” I shake my head, turning my back to her to approach the bike.

  “God damn it, Rob. Tell me!” She begs with frustration.

  “I can’t!” I holler back and climb on the Harley. “Now are you coming with me or not?!”

  Ashley looked at me hard from where she stood, and I knew she was restraining every tiny bone in her body from pushing me off the bike. She crosses her arms, shaking her head like she had any choice.

  “Damn it, Ashley.” I curse, growing more frustrated with myself. “I swear, if you don’t get on this fucking bike, I’ll chase you through Montana until you sit your ass down.”

  “Is that a threat?” She dares, crossing her arms over her chest.

  I breathed in slowly.

  “You have no idea.”

  She watched me from a distance, as if to decide whether it was worth all the trouble to have a big spat over this. Thinking for the best, she finally dragged her feet out of her spot and approached the bike with caution. I twisted the key and revved up for takeoff. Her foot went down the side foot holder behind me and I took her hand when she lifted her leg across the other side. I felt her settle down behind me, her thighs closing on my legs as she slid her arms around my waist, holding her chest close to my back.

  I took a deep breath as I felt her shift behind me, every pull of friction against us making me tense up more by the second.

  With a low grunt, I kicked the floor and we were off with the wheels running underneath our feet. As the bike hummed against us, I could feel Ashley’s chin resting down to my back with her arms tightening around me. I felt reluctant to breathe––as if any move I made would trigger her to stop trusting me as she did. As much as I wanted to deny it, her touch made me feel better.

  We rode out of the parking lot. It had gotten dark since we’d been in church and the moon stared down at our backs in the lonely skies, like some sort of reassurance that the day was ending. I kept my head low as I could as we ventured into the woods. Even as we were now, I couldn’t be ignorant of the possible dangers lurking in the shadows. It seemed impossible that the Bears would undergo the extent of sneaking into the club but where there’s a will, there’s a way. I still couldn’t believe the prospect didn’t see the man that left the package on our steps. Our security has been sloppy and all it took was one bullet to start a war. It didn’t matter if our side was playing it safe. All I knew was that the Bears would use any means to win. Even if it meant crossing through our gates.

  My eyes darted from tree to tree, gripping the bike’s gears tightly into my palm with the sweat threatening to drip from my brow. I could hear the woods shuffle around me, as if there was a creature following us down the path. I knew better however. The woods in this town were always known for their eerie sounds. It was never what you heard that should scare you, but what you saw. “What’s up with you?” Ashley mutters in my ear.

  “Hm?”

  I turned my head slightly to hear.

  “Hm.” She breathes, resting her cheek down to my back. “I thought you were upset with me and, yet I catch you smiling.”

  “Tch.” I shake my head, turning my attention back to the road. “I’m not upset with you. Just thinking.”

  “About?”

  “Nothing. Something silly.”

  “Well if it’s nothing, tell me anyway.” She insists. The corners of my lips give into a smirk.

  “I was thinking about Mad-Dog.”

  Suddenly, her warm cheek leaves my back before blurting out, “Billy Joel?”

  “Yeah.” I respond casually.

  “What for?” She inquires, arms relaxing a little.

  “I’m just thinking about how he’s so easily stressed by these woods. Do you remember when he told us that a wolverine was chasing him in broad daylight but he couldn’t see it?”

  She laughs, “He had us worried that he might be on drugs.”

  “Yeah, you remember…” I smile, shaking my head at the memory of it all. “Cracker went with some of the men to hunt down this almighty wolverine. Swore he’d hang it on his mantle if he got the bastard.”

  Ashley snorts, “What did he end up shooting?”

  “Nothing.” I shrug, feeling her come back closer to me. “It was just a family of beavers building a dam upstream. I think he scared them more than they scared him.”

  “Poor things.” She exhales a low sigh. “Why are you telling me this?”

  “Just wanted to let you know that you shouldn’t give your ex-husband the satisfaction of being scared.”

  “I’m not scared.” She says between her teeth.

  “Yeah, you are.”

  She stayed silent, but I didn’t feel her arms loosen up from me. “Maybe I am.”

  I let out a drag of a breath, “Ashley, there’s no shame in it. You’re smart to be scared. It’s a rationalized fear that you’re still trying to overcome.”

  “I don’t want it to hold me back.”

  “It won’t.” I snap, watching the trees above us fade away to reveal the sky. “You’re the daughter of Fist Monroe. In high school, the reason why you didn’t get as many dates was because the guys were too damn scared to talk to you.”

  “What are you––”

  “Jerome Rivers––the captain of the damn football team was too scared to talk to you because he didn’t know who would beat him up first. You or your father.”

  I heard her scoff behind me.

  “Jerome Rivers wasn’t my type, Blackjack.”

  With a smirk, I responded. “I know.” It’s true, I know exactly what Ashley’s type is. It was never Jerome and it sure as fuck wasn’t Harry.

  “And he’s certainly not as crazy as my ex-husband.”

  “Dually noted.”

  “I just…” She breathes, trying to relax as finally exited the woods into the neighborhood. “I don’t want to see him again. Ever.”

  I swallowed that thought. “You won’t have to. Ever.”

  When we closed on a red light in our path, I slowed the bike down to a stop before putting my feet to the ground. Flexing my foot, I felt my tendons start to cramp up from all the running around I’ve been doing all day. Even waiting at the green light felt like a chore at this point. However, I didn’t have to wait too long before it switched back to translucent mint-green. With a turn of my wrist, I lift off the brakes and accelerate down the curve with the Harley leaving a screech behind us.

  Ashley let out a little yelp as she clung for dear life. We were only a couple blocks away from my second house as it was. I had one built at the club and I had another just outside of town. A lot of the guys gave me hell for having two houses, but each were needed. I wanted Dex to grow up with that normal life, or as normal as I could make it for him. But there were times when I was needed in the club, and this meant Dex was with me. There was no way in hell my son would be sleeping in a clubhouse, or at least, not until he was seventeen.

  The wind rustled through our hair as we let the road spin us down as if our lives were on the line. I drew the gas forward and we were practically blazing past the house lights in lightyears. We were literally running down the line of my adrenaline like there was no stopping. Had I the option, we wouldn’t stop. Not until we were far away as possible from this damn place. The Reapers, the Bears… everyone was just a foundation of stress and I didn’t
want anything to do with it.

  When I thought about it, I couldn’t have Ashley without all of this.

  Which was worse?

  Lying to myself for another four years about wanting this woman so fucking bad and giving up, or making a stand and fighting for her? It was lying to myself. I wouldn’t do it ever again. Ashley’s arms tightened across my waist as she pulled herself closer ‘til her lips met my shoulder. In this moment, she was scared.

  I knew her pulse was running just as fast as my adrenaline and that down the line, we were running in the same direction: away from everyone. If that didn’t scare me, I didn’t know what did. We were both searching for a means of fixing this but exactly what drew us this close in the first place?

  “Blackjack––slow down.” She squeezes my shoulder. We were almost there, just a couple of minutes now.

  “Please, slow down!” Her voice calls.

  “STOP IT, ROB.”

  Something in my chest automatically clutches into itself just as my hand squeezes the brake by its trigger. The Harley rips into the gravel of the streets like a singing banshee, waking up every bastard in their own beds. I had both feet forcing themselves into the foot-peg even though I knew it wouldn’t do me any good.

  The exhaust was sputtering behind us and we were on our seats trying to grip ourselves from launching off. I released the brake and slowly began tightening my hold back. Without a second delay, I felt the Harley lowly hum down. The tires were wearing down their rubber and I could only listen as they slowly started to stabilize again.

  We were rolling down the hill down to my place, our nerves starting to calm down with the bike.

  The thoughts that were ravaging my head were finally put to a still halt as we rolled into the driveway together, heads hanging low.

  “Blackjack…” Ashley whispers.

  There was a part of me that didn’t want to talk. Not now.

  I took a deep breath.

  “Come on.”

  She started off the bike, holding herself up long enough to curve her leg on the other side until she was able to jump off. I leveraged the Harley with my weight and kicked the stand out so that it could balance itself on the plateau of the driveway. With the bike still humming, I finally twisted the key and put her soul to rest for the rest of the night. The ignition was lost and finally, Ashley and I were left to dwell in the silence.

  As I dismounted the bike, I could feel her eyes staring up at me. Just like the moon, she was watching every move I made. I put those thoughts aside and walked past her with the keys in my hand. Her footsteps followed me off the driveway and up the patio steps where we finally reached the door.

  At first, my hand came up to the doorbell to ring for Dex––only for me to remember that he was staying over at his friend’s. I’d texted him after the showdown with the Bears to avoid coming back to the house we had at the club and to come here. Dex being as smart as he is asked all the questions – that I didn’t want to answer. He asked if he could stay over at Wades and I didn’t disagree. Damn, it was just like me to forget. I shook my head, digging my hand into my pocket for the keys.

  “Lock yourself out?” She crosses her arms over her chest.

  “Not exactly.” I manage to respond before pulling the keys out.

  Once I unlocked the door, I let her inside first while I took off my shoes outside. She stepped in for a moment and turned around to spot my shoes on the floor.

  “Should I take mine off?”

  “Not really.” I say, pulling the door to close behind us.

  Ashley gave me a look before looking down to her feet to shuffle out of her own shoes. I shook my head but disregarded it as I walked into the space of my living room, heading down the hallway. Behind me, I heard Ashley’s footsteps trail next to the couch but as I turned around to watch her, I noticed she was looking at the photographs on the wall. I turned away and continued to headed to the back of the hallway where an open door lead to my bedroom.

  The familiar scent of teakwood filled my nose as I stepped in to take a seat at my bed, taking my head into my hand. I took in a deep breath as I drew out my phone from my pockets, getting ready to text the number of our certified tattoo artist––Dean. He’d be a reliable source to lay down a full tat’ with a discount included if I was lucky enough.

  “Rob.” Ashley’s voice called from the door.

  I looked up from the phone to see her leaning into the door frame, blonde hair strewn across her shoulder. There was a reckless way she carried her glances at me and up till now, I didn’t realize how dangerous it felt to be in a room alone with her.

  “Why?” She asks finally. “Why did you offer yourself like that?”

  My head sent its gaze back to the floor with a low sigh escaping me.

  “I promised to protect you, didn’t I?”

  “Yeah, but that’s not enough. There’s more to it.” She insisted, stepping off from the door to come closer.

  I gave her a weary glance, unsure of what to say. “I don’t go back on my word, Ash. Simple as that.”

  A scoff escaped her. “I’m not your obligation, Blackjack. You don’t have to do this. Any of it.”

  “And what part of this is your responsibility?” I furrowed my brows.

  “This is all my fault. If I hadn’t––”

  “If you hadn’t what? Ran away? Realized that your ex was a pile of shit that took out his miserable shit on you? What would you have done if you hadn’t quit it with his shit?”

  “I…” She whispers, “I would’ve figured it out.”

  “Stop.”

  Without a second thought, I stood up to my feet and took her hand in mine. At the very touch, she flinched, and I could feel her practically shaking before me. My eyes burned down at her, drawing her face into the back of my head in this very moment because God help me… she could destroy me with that look in her eyes.

  “Ash… I’m sorry.”

  “What?” She blinks up at me.

  “I’m sorry for all of this. You don’t get it girl, this is all my fault. If I hadn’t of ran like a scared boy those years ago you would’ve never ended up with that shit of a husband, Harry. I couldn’t control myself around you Ashley. Don’t you remember? God, I could never control myself around you.” She watches my face intently as I speak, “You were all I ever wanted. Is it not obvious? I’ve been in love with you since you were sixteen, Monroe”

  I took her face in my hands before she could utter out another word from that mouth. The last thing I saw before I closed the distance between us was her brilliant blue eyes and they drowned my soul until I could finally kiss her. The very breath in her lungs hitches at the back of her throat and I could feel her body heat just wash across my chest. Her hands took my arms and I tensed at the touch.

  She stills into the kiss for a moment before drawing her face closer to deepen it. I pull my fingers into her hair, running my hand down along the blonde strands before my hands close on it so desperately. Something in that made her moan against my mouth and the vibrations between us made me tilt her head to the side, the tip of my tongue flicking at the crease of her lips.

  To my surprise, she opened her mouth––inviting me in. I didn’t hold back from pulling both my hands up to the back of her head as I backed her up to the wall behind her, pressing her body up against mine. Ashley arches her back and I could feel her chest roll up to mine, licking her lips for more. Just as I felt her tongue slip away, I pulled it back into a deeper kiss before catching her bottom lip between my teeth, giving it a little tug. Her voice glossed over my ears in a soft purr, hips rocking up to meet mine.

  Before she even had a chance to tease me with that trick of hers, I had already pulled my leg back up between her legs to pin her good. She breathed hard when I released her lips to chase patterns down the hollow of her throat. I was so caught up in nibbling her soft skin away that I didn’t recognize her nails sinking into my shoulders. When the pain was evident, I growled in her ear and p
ulled her off of the wall and served her down to my bed.

  She lands down on the soft mattress, disturbing the sheets with the way her body pulled itself up to her knees. I watched her as she leaned forward, reaching a hand out to me as I walked up to the edge of the bed. Her hand catches the collar of my shirt and she pulls me back in for a kiss, hungry for more. I sank into those eyes, closing my own as my hands lifted themselves up to take her hips as she dragged her hands down my shirt. When I felt her take the shirt’s hem and roll it up my chest, I pulled away from the kiss to help her throw the thing off completely.

  I caught the tip of her little tongue running along her bottom lip before disappearing into the corner of her mouth. When her eyes traveled all the way down to my trousers, I nearly took her right there. That look of hers… the way she waited for me to join her on that fucking bed like some goddess. How could I fucking resist?

  My hands went down to my belt, but she stopped me right there.

  “Let me do it.” She mutters lowly, drawing her little fingers across the line of my wrist.

  I released the buckle and waited for her hand to replace mine. She had her eyes trained on me while she did it. I could just feel the small brushes of her fingers purposely run up against the bulge developing in my pants. Ashley took her time though with that little smirk running along her expression. When she was finally done, I leaned in and pulled her down into the bed until her back hit the mattress.

  Her lashes fluttered as I hovered over her with my arms keeping me up. I was just a breath away from kissing her until I felt her hands trace down abdomen, running their way all the way down till she was past my trousers with her palm on my cock.

  “Mmm...” She rolls her voice off her tongue like honey.

  “Fuck…you don’t know how long I’ve waited for this, Monroe.” I curse, my voice sounding hard as the appendage on her hand.

  “Oh, I think I do.” It didn’t stop her from stroking me with the little space she could afford. I pulled my hips down into her hand, burying my own face into her shoulder as she took her time teasing. When she tightened her palm along the length and began to stroke faster, I bit her shoulder to stop before she sent me out of control.