A Fox's War

by Brandon Varnell

  “Ah… well, I’m doing the same thing, I guess.” Eric shifted uncomfortably. Was he hiding something behind his back?

  “Master, who is this person that you call Lord?” Someone peeked out from behind Eric.

  “This is Lord Kevin,” Eric answered as if it should have been obvious.

  “Lord… Kevin…?” the young girl blinked.

  “Kevin is my lord and savior,” Eric declared proudly. “It is only thanks to him that I am graced with the sight of so many boobies.”

  “Idiot,” Kevin mumbled softly.

  The girl, apparently awed by what she’d been told, now gazed upon him with stars in her eyes. “I had no idea that Master knew a god. I-it’s very nice to make your acquaintance, Lord Kevin.”

  “Please don’t call me ‘Lord,’” Kevin mumbled with a sigh. “It’s nice to meet you, too, um…”

  “Julius.”

  “Julius,” Kevin tested the word. It wasn’t until now that he’d realized something. Eric was traveling with a really cute girl.

  Frowning, he studied the young girl some more. Her porcelain skin was surrounded by silky black hair. Bangs framed her face and hovered over her amethyst eyes, adding a mysterious allure to her. A small nose and pink lips added to her femininity. She didn’t have anything in the way of a chest, but Kevin assumed that was Eric’s type, judging from the number of times he tried to jump Christine. She was wearing unusually masculine clothes, which hung off her thin frame. It took him a moment to realize that those were Eric’s old clothes.

  She’s wearing Eric’s clothing… Realization struck him like a bolt of lightning. Could this girl and Eric be…?

  No, no, no. Kevin shook his head. That was impossible. There’s no way such a cute girl would date Eric, right? Eric was a pervert, and no female liked a pervert—well, unless their name was Heather, but she was also a pervert, so it sort of balanced out.

  “Achoo!” Heather sneezed.

  “Careful,” Kiara said with a scowl. “You nearly sprayed mucus all over me.”

  “Sorry.” Heather wiped at her nose. “I think someone’s talking about me.”

  “If you say so. Now, help me test this new weapon, will you?”

  “Right!”

  There was no way this girl could also be a pervert like Heather. What were the chances of them meeting two women who were as perverted as Eric? Zero. There was no chance.

  What if Eric is blackmailing this girl into being his girlfriend?

  He didn’t want to think poorly of his friend, but considering the circumstances, he did feel a little worried that Eric might have become corrupted by his eroge or something.

  “Eric,” Kevin said, a tremulous hum in his voice. “This person, is she…?”

  “She?” Eric tilted his head. He looked positively befuddled.

  “At least now we know why Eric hasn’t been spending time with us,” Alex said.

  Andrew nodded. “Indeed, though I must say that I’m surprised by this turn of events—so surprised that I can’t even get angry.”

  “I know how you feel, brother.”

  “Still, I didn’t know that Eric’s taste went that low.”

  “What are you talking about? He was always hitting on Christine, wasn’t he?”

  “What the hell are you guys talking about?” asked Eric.

  The three of them turned to the young pervert, gazing at him like they couldn’t believe he’d asked something so stupid.

  “Eric,” Alex said with the utmost seriousness, “why didn’t you tell us you were dating someone?”

  “Dating?” Eric and Julius said at the same time. There was a several second pause as the two slowly realized what Alex meant. When they figured it out, Eric turned green while Julius held her hands to her cheeks and blushed.

  “Teehee, they think that Master and I are dating. Kya! I’m so embarrassed.”

  “Wh-what the hell are you idiots blabbering about now?! I’m not dating anyone! Just—ew, no. That’s just… so gross.”

  “Ugyu,” Julius made a strange sound as her shoulders drooped. “Master is so cruel. Am I not attractive enough for you?”

  “You stay out of this!” Eric shouted while pointing an accusing finger at Julius.

  “Hey now,” Alex said. “That’s no way to speak to a young lady.”

  “Young lady?!” Eric turned an insane gaze on Alex, who took a step back. “You think this is—are you mental?! Have you lost your mind?! Wait! Don’t answer that. Of course you’ve lost your mind!”

  “O-oi,” Andrew began, “there’s no need to get so angry.”

  “Of course, there is!” Eric exploded.

  “Um, excuse me,” Julius said in a timid voice that somehow caught everyone’s attention. Kevin looked from the argument taking place to the young girl, who was drawing circles on the ground with her toes.

  “Yes? What is it?” he asked kindly.

  “I think… that you three are misunderstanding something.”

  “Eh?”

  “I’m a boy.”

  There was a ten second pause as this proclamation detonated in their ears like a death knell.

  “EEHHHHH??!!!” Kevin, Alex, and Andrew’s surprised scream echoed across the mall.

  After Lilian came out of the bathroom, she discovered that their numbers had increased. Unbothered by this, she greeted the group of girls with a cheerful smile, then they continued shopping.

  Lilian managed to get presents for just about everybody she planned on buying presents for. The only two people she didn’t buy presents for were Iris and Kotohime, and that was only because she didn’t know what to buy yet. They should’ve been the easiest to find something for, but in truth, they were actually the toughest. Despite this mall’s oriental feel, there wasn’t a single kimono shop, and Iris was only interested in sex.

  I’ll go out with Kevin and we can find something for those two later.

  Christine and Lindsay also bought some gifts. She didn’t know what they had gotten. It had been decided that they would keep their presents a secret. Once everyone had finished shopping, they went to the food court, where they would be meeting up with Kevin and the others.

  Since the boys hadn’t shown up yet, it was decided by unanimous vote that they would get ice cream. Lilian had gotten a rocky road with cheesecake bits and hot fudge. Meanwhile, Christine was eating a sundae that looked like it was made up of more hot fudge than ice cream.

  “Christine, you’re getting fudge on your face,” Lindsay chided the girl as she grabbed for a napkin. “Here, let me get that for you.”

  Lilian almost winced when she saw the face Christine made. That sort of grimace only appeared on someone whose discomfort had reached a plateau. While Lindsay’s move wouldn’t have been out of place with someone that she was dating, when doing it to Christine, it was definitely not a smart decision.

  “Thank you,” Christine muttered.

  “You’re welcome.”

  As she ate her ice cream slowly to avoid getting a brain freeze, Lilian caught a frown out of her peripheral vision. It was Jessica, the blonde usagi. She was staring at Lindsay and Christine with a massive frown.

  “But man, Lilian, you bought a lot of presents,” one of the girls said.

  “I know, right?” another girl said.

  Lilian didn’t know anyone’s name besides Jessica, but she responded with the same good cheer anyway. They were Lindsay’s friends, after all.

  “I have a big family. Plus some of these are for my friends.”

  “What did you get for Kevin? Did you get anything naughty?” asked one of the girls with a grin.

  Naughty?

  “I bought him several manga and a six-hour documentary on African wildlife.”

  The girls seemed disappointed. “So, you didn’t get him anything… indecent?”

  “Indecent?” Lilian tilted her head. “I’m not sure what you mean by that.”

  “We mean…” The girl looked around, then leaned in and wh
ispered, “sexy stuff. You know, like lingerie or edible clothing or something.”

  “Oh.” So that’s what they meant by naughty. “I already have plenty of lingerie to wear. Edible clothing does sound interesting, though. Do they make edible panties?”

  “Edible panties and bras,” the girl confirmed.

  Lilian cupped her chin. “That sounds pretty cool.”

  “I know, right?”

  Lilian gave the other girl an odd look. “You say that a lot, don’t you?”

  “I know… I mean, yeah…” The girl appeared a bit self-conscious after Lilian pointed out how she said “I know, right?” a lot.

  As she continued talking to Lindsay’s soccer friends, she saw the girl in question get up and run to the restroom. It looked like Lindsay had spilled fudge on her shirt. When she looked back at the table, it was to see Jessica saying something to Christine, then standing up and walking off. After a moment’s hesitation, Christine also stood up and followed her.

  I wonder what they’re going to talk about? She pondered that before returning to her conversation. Whatever it was, it wasn’t any of her business unless Christine felt like telling her about it.

  As she continued talking, Lilian couldn’t help but wonder why Kevin hadn’t met up with them yet.

  Several seconds after the shock of learning that Julius was a man wore off, Eric reluctantly joined Kevin, Alex, and Andrew as they went shopping.

  “Is he the reason you haven’t been spending time with us?” asked Alex.

  “I see how it is. You wanted to spend time with your new boyfriend,” Andrew added.

  Eric’s face turned a strange combination of red and green. “He isn’t my boyfriend!”

  “Don’t say that. You might hurt Julius’s feelings,” Alex said.

  “Hm-hm.” Andrew nodded several times.

  “Um, excuse me,” Julius started. “Master is right. I’m not Master’s boyfriend.”

  Kevin found Julius’s manner of referring to Eric as “Master” odd, but since he went by several titles himself—including Master, Stud, Lord, and Beloved— he didn’t say anything.

  “Then what is your relationship with Eric?” he asked curiously.

  A blush lit Julius’s face, and he looked down at the ground, becoming quite bashful. Kevin wondered what caused this sort of demeanor to appear. His curiosity increased when Eric suddenly became frantic.

  “W-wait! Don’t say—”

  “I’m his… sex slave.”

  … Silence.

  “I think I just threw up in my mouth,” Alex said. Kevin said nothing, but the sound of his facepalm was loud enough for several other groups to hear.

  The Facepalming Force was strong with this one.

  Several minutes later, Alex and Andrew were giving a depressed Eric a wide berth. Kevin didn’t, but that was only because he knew there was more going on than what met the eye. He didn’t know what, nor did he ask, but he could tell that his friend had become involved with something bizarre.

  The strange stick in Eric’s hand had something to do with it.

  Speaking of…

  “Eric, what’s that thing in your hand?”

  “Urk!” After coughing, choking, and sputtering for several seconds, Eric regained his composure. “This? It’s, uh, something that I found in the trash.”

  “Found in the trash?! How could—doof!”

  Kevin stared at the stick as Eric slammed it into a pole. “Did that thing just talk?”

  “T-talk? Haha! You’re a funny guy, My Lord. Inanimate objects don’t talk!”

  “I beg your pardon, but—goof!”

  “Hahahahaha!” Eric laughed as he banged the stick against the pole again. “No talking here.” And again. “Not at all.” And one more time, for good measure.

  “… Right.”

  Before anything else could be said, Kevin’s phone began to vibrate. Pulling it out of his pocket, he saw that it was a text message from Iris.

  What could she be messaging me about?

  He swiped his thumb across the screen and pulled up the message. He froze. It was a picture message. The picture was of Iris—except she was unconscious, trussed up in rope, and bound to a wall. Her face was bruised. Below the picture was text: Come to warehouse in the western business district if you want to see her returned. If you don’t come, we’ll have our way with her.

  Kevin thought his heart was going to stop.

  This cannot be happening.

  This had to be some kind of joke. Some cosmic entity must have been screwing with him. Sure, his life felt like he was in an anime more often than not, but this was going too far. This was going way too far.

  “What the—Kevin! Where are you going?!” Eric called out to him.

  Kevin ignored Eric as he ran. He ignored Alex and Andrew as they also began shouting at him. He didn’t have time to deal with them. Iris had somehow gotten into trouble. He didn’t know how, but that hardly mattered.

  I’m seriously going to hurt these people, Kevin thought as he raced toward the nearest bus stop.

  Lindsay returned to the table several minutes after Christine and Jessica walked off.

  Things had not been going as planned. She’d been trying to find a good time to speak with Christine, to see if they could talk about their relationship, or at least to properly confess her feelings. When her friend had gone off to study under her guardian, Lindsay had kissed her, which had made her feelings pretty clear, but she felt like she needed to confess properly. Also…

  Christine’s been avoiding me.

  It wasn’t anything overt, but Lindsay had the distinct sense that Christine was trying to avoid being alone with her. That time when Lilian had gone to the restroom was the only time that they’d been alone all day. Lindsay had tried talking to her then, but Christine had made it difficult.

  I have to at least say something to her.

  Even if something irreversible happened and their relationship was never the same again, Lindsay couldn’t allow it to just stay like this. If Kevin—who used to get so nervous around women that he passed out when one talked to him—could gather his courage and confess to someone, then she could certainly do the same.

  “Lilian, do you know where Christine went?” she asked.

  Lilian looked up from her conversation with the other girls. She had a spoon in her mouth, and Lindsay thought she looked adorable as her head tilted slightly.

  “Yeah, she and Jessica went off that way,” Lilian answered after taking the spoon out of her mouth and pointing in the opposite direction that she’d come from.

  Jessica?

  “Thanks,” she said before moving off in the direction that Lilian had pointed to.

  She eventually came upon the two. They were standing near a bathroom and seemed to be having a conversation. Jessica was blushing and flailing her arms, while Christine’s face had become deadpan.

  What are they talking about? I can’t hear them.

  Moving closer, Lindsay hid behind a trash can. She was close enough that she managed to catch Christine’s next words.

  “Lindsay is a friend. Nothing more. I don’t like her like that.”

  Christine stood in front of Jessica, who looked oddly nervous for some reason, like she might hop away if startled.

  They’d walked away from the group and gone to a secluded section of the mall. It was right near a pair of restrooms, which were marked for their gender by a small plaque.

  “So, what did you want to talk to me about?” Christine asked. She didn’t want to be rude, but she was curious. This girl, Jessica, wasn’t someone who she’d ever spent time with, so there should have been no reason for her to want to speak with Christine alone.

  Jessica dithered for a moment, grasping the hem of her skirt, then took a deep breath and asked, “What is your relationship with Lindsay?”

  “Bwa?” was Christine’s response. For some reason, that had been the question that she’d least expected.

  “
Do you like her? Are you two dating? What do you think of her?” As questions spewed from Jessica’s mouth, the usagi moved into Christine’s personal space, forcing her to move backwards.

  “W-w-what the hell are you asking me?!”

  “I want to know if you and Lindsay are—”

  “You don’t just pop out of the blue and ask someone something like that!”

  “Can you just answer the question?”

  Christine shoved Jessica back to give herself some breathing room. When she’d calmed down, she sent the blond girl a blushing frown. “W-why do you even care about whatever relationship I have with Lindsay?”

  “Oh! Um… n-no reason. I was just curious.”

  There was something odd about the way Jessica said that, and the way she looked at the ground and drew circles with her toes was unusual too. Christine could’ve sworn she’d seen someone who acted like this before, but she couldn’t place where or who.

  She also had to wonder about this girl. Why would someone want to know about her relationship with someone, unless…

  “Do you like Lindsay?” she guessed.

  “Wha…?” Jessica’s cheeks turned pink. “N-no! Of course not! I mean, Lindsay is… she is… um, how do you say…”

  Christine deadpanned. “You like Lindsay.”

  Jessica’s shoulders drooped. “I like Lindsay. P-please don’t tell anyone. Nobody actually knows this, and if they did, Lindsay and I would be ostracized again.”

  While Christine had no idea what this girl was talking about, at least she now understood Jessica’s reason for wanting to speak with her. If it was just a girl who was jealous of her, then Christine could abate her worries easily.

  “I don’t know anything about that, but if all you want to know are my feelings towards Lindsay, then you can rest easy,” Christine said. “Lindsay is a friend. Nothing more. I don’t like her like that.”

  “R-really?” Jessica looked hopeful.

  “Really.”

  Before anything else could be said, a loud banging drew their attention away from each other. Christine looked at where the noise had come from and saw Lindsay standing near a tipped over trash can. Her eyes were wide, and there were tears leaking from them as she held a hand to her mouth.