Puzzle Me This

by Eli Easton

  “You’re awfully mobile on this couch.”

  “My hips are perfectly functional.”

  “I’ll say.”

  Luke’s mouth was promptly shut by the feel of Alex—his tongue flat and very long—licking up his sternum. Alex wiggled some more, reapplying that able muscle just above Luke’s navel and licking obscene swirls on Luke’s tummy. His cock throbbed in desperate appeal.

  “You have—ah!—a very long tongue.”

  “It runs in my appendages,” came Alex’s muffled reply.

  Luke stifled a whimper at that, and at the feel of Alex’s wet tongue circling his navel. He felt the head of his cock paint moisture along Alex’s throat.

  Luke gasped. “Not to rush you or anything, but did I mention the hard-since-Luzerne thing?”

  Alex chuckled. “So impatient.” But he shimmied down a little more and then….

  “Holy fuck!” Luke breathed.

  He was engulfed in a wet heat that was at once tugging and tickling and laving and sucking. He had never felt anything quite like it, and he had to look down to where he was holding himself up off the sofa just to confirm that it was, in fact, Alex’s mouth.

  “What the hell are you doing to me?” Luke groaned, like he was dying.

  Alex stopped and tilted his head back to look up at him. “Is it not okay?”

  “What the hell are you doing stopping?”

  Alex smiled and went back to it.

  In his braced-up position, it was almost impossible not to thrust, and he tried it, gently, being sent mad by the sensations on his cock. Alex took it in stride and in fact seemed to like it, if the hands he placed on Luke’s hips to urge him forward were any indication.

  Luke closed his eyes, focusing all his senses on the unbelievable pleasure he felt slipping in an out of that warm mouth that was all tongue and lips and perfect amount of pressure and suction and absolute, freaking debauchery.

  His orgasm took him by surprise. There was no way in hell he could stop it. “Coming,” he whispered.

  Alex moaned his approval and pulled him in deep, sucking hard. He stayed with Luke through his long, wracking shudders and didn’t let go until Luke was too sensitive to bear it anymore.

  Luke finally collapsed, aiming to land beside Alex instead of on top of him and making a half-assed job of it. Alex pulled a few stuck limbs free and squirmed his way back up Luke’s body.

  Luke managed to raise one eyelid. “That was the best blowjob ever.”

  “Really?” Alex seemed quite pleased.

  “Um-hmm. It was an eleven.” He allowed his heavy eyelids to close. “Though I think you could work up to a twelve with a little practice. Or a lot of practice. I’m self-sacrificing that way.”

  “Big of you.”

  “The cliché-o-meter just jumped, and I didn’t even say anything,” Luke muttered tiredly.

  “Yes, I heard it too. Are you hungry? We could order a pizza.”

  “Pizza and burgers in the same day. We could fry up a pound of bacon while we wait for delivery. Crack a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and pour some butter on it.”

  “Do you always talk this much when you’re falling asleep? You’re practically snoring between words.”

  “I talk in my sleep too. So it never ends really.”

  “I knew there was a reason I bought those earplugs,” Alex said.

  Chapter 10

  Veil of Tiers

  Alex woke to the sound of rain and the feeling of Luke’s warm body nestled up behind him. Slowly, he turned over, trying not to wake Luke. Luke appeared deeply asleep, his face slack, his long hair splayed out behind him, revealing his neck and jaw, sprinkled with a few moles and now rough with stubble.

  Looking at him, a spontaneous bubble of happiness grew in Alex’s chest and was quickly dampened by a curl of anxiety.

  Yesterday had been amazing. The hike had been fun. Despite spending hours together, they’d never run out of things to talk about. And then, on the drive home, Alex had admitted he wanted Luke, and Luke said he wanted Alex, too, and they’d practically had sex in the car. Damn. Alex had been so turned on!

  And then they did have sex, and it had been the best thing Alex had ever experienced in his life. He loved Luke’s sense of humor, and he loved that it was there even during sex. He made everything feel lighter, carefree. Alex hadn’t thought once about his legs or worried about what Luke would think or about how they’d go about things. He just got carried away with want, and it seemed like Luke had too. It had been completely natural between them. And yet crazy hot.

  That’s where the curl of nerves came in. He was falling for Luke way too fast. Alex knew better. He’d promised himself he’d be more cautious, protect himself better, not let himself become dependent and willing to take anything, as he’d been with Robert. He had to be realistic about this thing with Luke.

  Luke stirred, his face mashing into the pillow for a moment, before he blinked awake. He looked at Alex, his gaze was confused for just a second before he relaxed.

  “You still here?” Luke asked. He closed his eyes again, a smile tugging at his lips.

  “Well. This is my apartment,” Alex pointed out, unable to hold back his own smile.

  “Right. So. I’m still here?” Luke amended. He opened his eyes and stretched. “What time is it?”

  “Almost seven.” Alex looked over his shoulder at the window where a dismal downpour painted the world gray. “And decidedly uninspiring, weather-wise.”

  “Gee that rain looks treacherous. Guess Trevor will have to wait for his walk until it clears. Shame.” Luke pulled Alex closer, lying against his chest and letting his eyes drift shut.

  Alex hadn’t expected a cold reception this morning, because Luke didn’t seem like that kind of guy. But he was still surprised Luke wanted to sleep in and cuddle. He wasn’t sure it was wise. He rolled onto his back, putting a little distance between them even though Luke still nestled against his side.

  “Muddy ground, accidents happen,” Alex agreed. “Best not to risk it.” He went for a bantering tone, but it didn’t sound right even to his own ears.

  Luke blinked up at him warily. “What’s up? What are you thinking about in that noggin of yours?”

  Alex almost lied and said nothing. Except… maybe it would be good to talk about it. Get it out in the open. Be real. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I was thinking about Billy.”

  “The kid? The goat?” Luke asked.

  Alex chuckled despite himself. “No. Dork. Billy Smith. He’s in my Wheels And Meals group. We get together once a month at someone’s house and have a potluck.”

  “Sounds like a scream. So what about Billy Smith from Wheels And Meals?”

  Alex hesitated. He played his fingers over Luke’s forearm as it lay against his chest.

  “Am I gonna have to duel Billy Smith? Face him down for mating rights?” Luke was teasing, but he sounded like he might be a tiny bit jealous.

  “No. Billy is a really sweet kid. He’s twenty and he has cerebral palsy. The thing is, he really likes me. Imagines himself in love with me, in fact. But I just don’t see him that way.”

  “So? You’re allowed.”

  “I know.” Alex sighed deeply. “But… I hurt him. That’s always the way, isn’t it? Someone always likes someone more than they’re liked back. It’s a bitch.”

  “Hey. What do you mean?” Luke pressed softly.

  Alex shifted his head to meet Luke’s gaze. “I’m just not attracted to him. And I’m not attractive enough for… for a lot of people. It’s all like a hundred-layer cake, isn’t it? This guy over here is at tier twenty, and this other guy is at tier fifteen, and ne’er the twain shall meet. And sometimes a tier twenty might dabble with a tier eighteen for a bit, but the tier eighteen is in for it eventually. Because that’s not how it works. Everyone wants something better than themselves or at least the equivalent. It’s human nature.”

  “What are you talking about?” Luke said, soundi
ng a little bit angry. He sat up.

  “Look, it’s at least ten points off for the chair. I know that,” Alex insisted.

  “Jesus Christ.”

  Alex pinched his lips together. Wow, he was botching this up. He didn’t want to sound whiny or sorry for himself. He was just trying to be logical, to make sure there was some realistic definition attached to this thing, so he didn’t end up curled up and sobbing on the floor. “Sorry… I. Don’t listen to me. I can’t help it. You know, logic puzzle guy. I think about these things.”

  Luke huffed.

  “You’re just so… attractive and smart. You could date anyone. Like that guy you brought home that one night. The biker. He was hot.”

  Luke frowned and something like hurt flashed in his eyes. “That’s why you stopped sending me puzzles, isn’t it?”

  Alex shrugged. “You could have anyone. That’s cool. I mean, it’s just how it is.”

  Luke frowned at Alex for a long moment. Then he huffed, turning jokey. “Are you kidding me? I think you need a new eyeglass prescription. I am a total computer-science nerd.”

  “I thought we’d established that we’re both nerds. Besides, your hair alone could win you a prince.” Alex tugged on Luke’s long yellow locks.

  “It’s true, I do have righteous hair,” Luke agreed archly. “But half of that is down to product. And anyway, look at you!” Luke waved his hand at Alex’s upper body. The sheet was down to his waist and he had to admit, he did look pretty buff. “I’m like Stan the Stick Man compared to you! You have a rack!”

  Alex looked down at his chest. “I do not have a rack. Women have racks.”

  “You have a rack, Alex. And a six-pack. Let’s be honest here.” Luke squeezed one of Alex’s pecs. “And let’s not forget this force of nature.” Luke cupped the sizeable bulge under the sheet. “You’ve got at least two inches in length and a good inch circumference on my admittedly impressive member. It’s a well-known fact that in the gay world every inch counts as a tier level, so that’s three tiers on me right there.”

  Alex was trying hard to hang on to the serious conversation, but he was fighting with giggles now. “You are insane.”

  “Yeah, well, we haven’t gotten to the worst of it yet…. You haven’t seen my feet!”

  Alex propped himself up to look down the bed, where Luke’s legs were tangled in the sheets. “Well, come on, then. Let’s see what you’ve got.”

  “First you must don the protective goggles,” Luke said seriously.

  “Luke!”

  “Very well. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Luke whipped back the sheet to show his naked toes.

  Alex stared. “They are a bit hobbit-like.”

  “Told you.”

  “But at least you can cover them up most of the time.”

  “Ah, but you haven’t seen me eat with them.”

  Alex gasped and nearly choked. “God, no! Okay, okay, stop, you win. You are at a lower tier than me.”

  “Actually, I can’t eat with them,” Luke admitted. “I can hold a fork with my toes, at least I could once, but I’m not flexible enough to get it to my mouth. I tried when I was twelve. I’d just seen Freaks.”

  “You have no filter. None.” Alex fell back onto the pillow and covered his face with his hands, gasping with laughter.

  “That’s true. It’s a design flaw. Dings me at least two tiers.”

  Alex’s laughter rocketed sideways to a different emotion entirely. His eyes grew hot and his chest ached. He kept his hands over his face to hide it. God, why was he being so emo? But Luke was in his bed, and he was cuddling, and he was being so sweet and funny that Alex could hardly stand it. No one—no guy, at least—had ever treated him like this. For some reason it dredged up a lot of pain.

  “Hey, Alex?” Luke asked softly, trying to pull his hands away. “Everything okay in there?”

  Alex wiped his eyes and took a deep, shaky breath. He forced himself to smile and tease back. “Yeah. You’re just so goddamn nice. I can’t figure out where you came from, that’s all.”

  Luke raised one eyebrow. “Um… I’m the guy you seduced using crossword puzzles? You should really have that memory of yours tested.” He gently tapped on Alex’s forehead.

  “Are you ever serious? All I’m trying to say, with this whole I-haven’t-had-my-coffee-yet flail of a conversation is… I don’t want to get too used to you.”

  Luke nodded thoughtfully. “Okay. Not the best morning-after line I’ve ever heard. But okay.”

  Alex sighed. “Yeah, that wasn’t any better, was it?”

  “Listen, I like you and you like me, and I’m particularly fond of having sex with you, so why don’t we just see how it goes?”

  “Right,” Alex agreed, taking a calming breath. He smiled and this time it didn’t feel forced. He could let himself just be happy for a few hours at least. “So. What were you just saying about sex?”

  He pulled Luke down into a kiss. He kissed with everything he had, feeling a desperate passion whelm up. The kiss had Luke rutting against him in about five seconds.

  Luke broke away to nuzzle into Alex’s neck. “Are you ready again? You slut.”

  “Mmm. Said the man whose hard-on is poking me in the stomach.”

  “Oh, I’m definitely a slut.”

  “Good. Because there’s an excess three inches over here with your name on it.”

  “Mine,” Luke growled, rolling Alex onto his back.

  Chapter 11

  The Philadelphia Horror (Con)

  The smell of grease and soy sauce wafted through the air as Alex let Luke into his apartment a few weeks later. Luke dropped Trevor’s leash and headed for the kitchen with the bag of takeout, while Alex greeted Trevor in the manner to which the dog had become accustomed—with scruff rubs, kisses, and baby talk as Trevor stood with his front paws on Alex’s lap.

  Luke dished up the Kung Pao chicken and veggie lo mein, and they settled down at Alex’s table to eat and tell each other about their day.

  Alex had really gotten into the MMPRG Luke was designing, Saints and Sinners. He gave Luke some feedback on the mission he’d just finished playing, and Luke picked his brain for ideas for a new module. It involved swamp creatures and black lotuses that opened to reveal giant rubies, and Alex was totally there for that.

  The conversation was distracting, and Alex’s nerves didn’t kick in until they were clearing the dishes. He waited until they’d finished rinsing the plates and loading the dishwasher. Then he rolled back from the sink and bit his lip. “So… I have an idea. Feel free to say no.”

  “No,” Luke said immediately, wiping his hands on a towel.

  Alex rolled his eyes. “Okay, point of procedure: first you have to hear the idea, and then you can say no.”

  “Oh. Gotcha.” Luke pretended innocence.

  “So. I follow a website called Bloody Disgusting—”

  “—as one does.”

  “Shut up.” Alex giggled. “I’m serious. It’s a horror website.”

  “I certainly hope so.”

  “Aaaanyway, this year they’re holding a Horror Fest in Philadelphia. They’re doing screenings of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Monster Squad, the Nightmare on Elm Street series. A lot of the original cast will be there. Plus they’ve got six new film premiers, including Dark Signal, which looks like it’ll be the best indie horror movie of the year. There’ll be booths and signings—you know, con stuff.”

  Alex had been nervous about bringing it up. Not because he didn’t feel comfortable with Luke. And not because he didn’t honestly want to go. He’d never been to a con, and it had been on his bucket list for a while. But suggesting a fun-slash-romantic weekend away had hidden land mines when you were in a wheelchair. And he and Luke had only been seeing each other for two weeks. It was kind of soon.

  But God, it would be a blast to do this with Luke. He’d called the con hotel and there was even a wheelchair accessible room still available. That was a sign from God—right
?

  If he’d been going with his sister, or with a group from Wheels And Meals, he wouldn’t think twice. But with Luke… there was always a chance they’d run into an embarrassing situation, or a place Alex couldn’t go. He was used to that, and could deal, but he didn’t want it to happen in front of Luke. Nevertheless, going outside his comfort zone had worked pretty spectacularly so far where Luke was concerned.

  Luke pursed his lips thoughtfully. “A weekend of horror movies in Philly? I could be persuaded. When is it?”

  “Labor Day weekend. I know it’s soon, and it’s fine if you have plans, but I booked a room just in—Oof!”

  Luke plopped down onto Alex’s lap, catching him by surprise. “Let’s go! But only if you dress up as Buffy and I get to be Angel.”

  “In your dreams.” Alex felt a warm bloom of relief, but he tried to act casual.

  “Come on! I’d pay to see you in a blond wig with a stake.”

  “I’ve got your stake right here.” Alex waggled his eyebrows and nudged up with his hips.

  Luke’s eyes widened. “Ooh. Word play. That is so hot.”

  Alex laughed.

  “You’d better hope David Boreanaz isn’t there, or I will totally throw you over,” Luke said.

  “Guess that’s a chance I’ll have to take,” Alex replied seriously.

  * * *

  It was a five-hour drive to Philadelphia, so they left on Friday at eight in the morning to avoid arriving at rush hour. Luke drove, but Alex navigated and kept him entertained. He’d picked up a couple of car games and had stacked his phone with music and horror podcasts. Unfortunately, he was disgustingly good at the I Spy A to Z game.

  “The driver should get a handicap,” Luke complained, after losing for the second time. “Because I have to watch the road. Literally, your life depends on it.”

  Alex made a pouty face. “You’re so terribly abused by the gods.”

  “I said exactly those words to Dionysus this morning during my ritual sacrifice.”