Shattered: A Salvation Society Novel

by Bella Emy

  His kiss is deep and passionate, and with the way he’s pushing into me, I can tell how much he wants me right now. He pulls back for a moment and then dives back in to assault my neck with his sweet kisses, instantly driving me crazy.

  “Kalen…” I moan, tossing my head to the side to give him better access.

  He moves away from my neck and stares at me for a second before saying, “Lexi, I just want you to know that we don’t have to do anything… I just love you so much, and I want to be with you. We’re alone right now, and we’ll be alone for a long while… I know this is not how you imagined it to be, but if you want—”

  I cut him off before he has a chance to finish his sentence. “Kalen, I want this… I want you. Now. I want you to be my first. I want you to take my virginity. I’m ready, and I can’t picture a better moment than right here and right now with you.”

  I see him considering my words, searching my face for any signs that I might not be thinking clearly, but this time, I don’t give him the chance to turn me away again. “Kiss me, Kalen. Kiss me and send me to the stars… take me to your room.” I push my lips against his, and without another’s moment’s hesitation, Kalen lifts me up into his arms and walks me out of the living room. Our lips never part and the only moment we stop kissing is when we reach his room, where he softly places me onto his bed.

  “Lexi, are you sure about this?” he asks as he hovers above me.

  I smile softly at his sweet face. “Surer than I’ve ever been about anything else in my entire life.”

  He considers my words, and once he accepts them, he leans back down into me, kissing me again and causing my body to crave him more than it ever has before.

  Somewhere between his kisses and touches, our clothes flew to the ground. It’s hard to concentrate on anything when he’s making me feel the way he is right now. All I can focus on is his next caress on me, anywhere at all.

  As he gently takes his time kissing and softly touching me, preparing me for the one moment I’ve been waiting for with him, I take a deep breath and let him take all of me.

  “I adore you, Alexa Alderidge,” he quietly whispers into my ear as he enters deep inside of me for the first time ever.

  I let out a soft gasp as a small tear slides down from the corner of my eye. Even though it hurts as I had a feeling it would, it still feels amazing, like we’re becoming one.

  “I will… always be yours… Kalen Starling.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Sunday morning arrives earlier than I had previously anticipated. I can’t stop thinking about last night and the way it felt as Kalen and I gave ourselves to one another. It was everything I had pictured it to be, and after we were done, I laid wrapped up in his arms for a good while until it was time for him to bring me home.

  That goodnight kiss after? I was spinning on cloud nine.

  On top of all of that, he called me once he got home and told me he was already missing me. Talk about melting… I was turning into a pile of mush for him.

  Now the nerves in my stomach are going crazy, knowing that today is the day my parents are going to meet the one guy who has made me fall so hard for him in such a short amount of time.

  I’m pretty sure they’re going to love him. I mean, what’s not to love? Kalen is very well mannered and polite. He is good to me, and he’s completely irresistible. Well, okay. I guess that last part is only for me, but come on. He’s perfect. And every parent’s dream.

  The ringing of my cell phone brings me out of my musings. I pick it up off my desk and see Erin’s face lighting up my screen with her name flashing across.

  As soon as I answer, she doesn’t even wait for me to say hello.

  “So, how did it go? Did you get good vibes from Mr. Starling? Is he just like Kalen? How was it?”

  I giggle at her eagerness. “Good morning to you, too, sunshine.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Morning. Now tell me, how did it go? Are you nervous for later?”

  I roll my eyes, still smiling. “David, or Dave, because he doesn’t like people referring to him by Mr. Starling, was awesome. Very friendly, and yes, he did remind me a lot of Kalen.”

  She lets out an audible sigh of relief. “That’s good. So when things get serious, there will be no worries there… we just have to figure out your parents.”

  Guess now is a good time as ever to let her know things are already serious.

  “Erin, Kalen and I are already there. We’ve already said the L word to one another. And we may have even gone all the way…” I shut my eyes tightly even though she can’t see me, but I await her wrath. What is she going to say to me?

  “Oh. Em. Gee. What? Are you serious? Oh, my God, oh, my God!”

  I chuckle nervously. “Yeah, I know. It was everything I imagined! And my parents, I’m not too worried about them right now. I know they’re going to love him. I mean, come on, girl. He’s Kalen Starling… every parent’s dream, right?”

  “Hmm. I guess he is the perfect boyfriend.”

  I giggle. “I’ll call you later, girl. I need to shower and get ready before Kalen gets here in about two hours.”

  “Okay, fine. You better call me as soon as it’s over. I’ll be waiting for details. Details, girl, details. Any you know exactly what details I want…”

  I roll my eyes again and let out a chuckle. “Yes, I know. I got you. Have fun with Jason.”

  “Oh, I will. Bye.”

  We hang up the phone and I jump off my seat. I need to get myself ready before my man gets here.

  My lips curl into a smile as I pull open the door and am met with Kalen’s gorgeous face. He looks so sexy in his black button-down shirt and black khakis. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him dressed up so nice before. He’s usually in a plain old T-shirt and jeans.

  He runs a hand through his slicked-back hair and cracks a small smile, but it disappears as quickly as it formed. I can tell by his movements that he’s nervous, but I wish he wouldn’t be. He’s going to do just fine. Yet, I know how it is when you first meet the parents of your boyfriend or girlfriend. No matter how many times you think it through in your mind or how many times you practice what you’re going to say, when it comes down to it, you freak out nevertheless.

  I grab his hands and pull him close to me. Sneaking in a quick peck before anyone can notice, I then shut the door and welcome him inside.

  “Is this okay?” he asks, pointing to what he’s wearing. “I couldn’t really find anything. I wasn’t sure what would be suitable.”

  “Are you kidding, babe? You look great. Come on. My parents are waiting for you in the den.”

  I grab his hand once more and lead him down the first hallway to the back of the house where my parents are sitting around the fireplace, drinking some fancy concoction.

  The burning light coming from the fireplace greets us first as we reach the den. I let Kalen’s hand go and walk in before him.

  “Mom, Dad, this is Kalen Starling,” I announce, moving to the side so that they can meet him.

  Both of my parents rise from their seats and I watch their expressions intently.

  My father is first to offer his hand and introduce himself. “Kalen, it’s very nice to meet you. I’m Alexa’s father, Thomas Alderidge, but all my drinking buddies call me Tom.” He cracks up and Kalen chuckles politely as they shake hands.

  “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Mr. Alderidge. I’ve heard so many wonderful things about you from your daughter.”

  My dad smiles widely, obviously pleased. “My little girl is something, isn’t she?” he says, then looks over at me.

  “She’s amazing, and I’m quite taken by her, Sir,” Kalen admits and I blush.

  My father nods. “Is that right?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  Daddy thinks for a moment, considering Kalen’s words. Then as if coming back to reality says, “Well, then. I almost forgot to introduce you to the lady of the house.”

  My father moves ba
ck and places a hand on my mother’s back, gently pushing her forward. But something is off. I can’t make out what it is, but my mom is as stiff as a board. She practically glares at Kalen, and I hope she’ll look at me soon so that I can motion for her to calm down. This is not at all how I was hoping today would start off. What is going on with her? Maybe she’s not feeling well. The alcohol always does seem to do a number on her. Honestly, I don’t know why the hell she even ever drinks when she knows it’s going to mess with her system. She does it all the damn time like it’s something she needs to prove to my father. I just don’t get it.

  “This is Alexa’s mother, Bethany.”

  Alexa’s mother? What ever happened to him introducing her as his wife?

  My mother’s cold stare finally melts away, and a warm smile replaces it. It still doesn’t feel genuine to me, but maybe that’s because I know her. Maybe Kalen won’t realize it, and I can pretend like it never happened.

  Yeah right. I know this is going to bug the hell out of me for the rest of the day.

  Kalen takes my mother’s proffered hand in his and smiles big. “Mrs. Alderidge, it’s so lovely to meet you. Lexi looks so much like you.”

  “Thank you, Kalen,” she responds and quickly retreats. “Please excuse me, I’ll need to check on brunch.”

  “But I thought Walter was—” I begin to say to her, but she’s already darted out of the room.

  My father places a hand on my shoulder. “It’s okay, Lexi.” Then to Kalen, he says, “You have to excuse my beautiful wife. She gets like that whenever she’s nervous. This is the first time we’ve ever met one of our daughter’s boyfriends, and I think the idea of Lexi growing up is scaring her.”

  So now she’s his wife again? God, I hope Kalen doesn’t think my family is weird. Maybe I’m just reading too far into this?

  Kalen nods, but I feel terrible. Why did she say she had to check on brunch? Our cook always makes our meals. My mother barely ever lifts a finger. That’s how it is when your parents have more money than they know what to do with.

  Daddy points to the sofa facing the fireplace. “Why don’t we sit down until we’re called in for brunch. You can tell me all about yourself, Kalen.”

  “That sounds great,” Kalen responds.

  The men sit on the couch, and as they do, I realize this is a perfect time to go and speak to my mother.

  I place a hand on Kalen’s shoulder. “I’ll be right back.”

  Kalen nods and smiles at me. I guess he hasn’t noticed the way my mother acted, so that’s a good thing. But I need to right things before they get messed up at the table once we are all forced to sit together.

  I exit the den and make my way to the kitchen. The smell of pancakes, bacon, and freshly baked biscuits fill the hallway, and I realize how hungry I am.

  “Mom,” I say as I enter the kitchen.

  She’s standing at the sink, facing the opposite direction. And then I see her shoulders shudder and shake, her head hanging low.

  I walk over to her, and I’m just in time to see her wiping away at tears. “Mom, what’s wrong?”

  She takes a deep breath, but in an instant, her tears have dried, and she forces on a smile. She pulls out a pocket mirror from her pocket, the one my grandmother gave to her for her fortieth birthday with the lid decorated in pearls and rubies, her birthstone. Looking at her reflection, she dabs her eyes with a handkerchief at the nonexistent leftover imaginary tears.

  Then she shuts it and places it back into her pocket. She carries that thing everywhere with her.

  She turns to face me. “Nothing. Nothing is wrong, my sweet Lexi Bug.”

  There she goes again, using that damn nickname for me.

  I search her eyes, but there is not one single sign of something bothering her anymore. Maybe my dad is right. Maybe she got scared, and her nerves got the best of her.

  But the tears? What was that about? Maybe later she’ll want to talk.

  She places a hand on my shoulder and says, “Come on now. We have a guest to feed.”

  Brunch was perfect. As if nothing happened during the introduction, the conversation around the table was light and fun. Daddy asked Kalen all about what he’s into, what his father does, and what his intentions after high school are. Mom even joined in on the conversation after hearing about how Kalen helps his father restore ships and boats and said she always wanted to take a month-long cruise out on the open sea.

  Overall, brunch was fantastic. She even had me go into the kitchen after we were done to bag up some leftovers for Kalen to take back home to his dad. I ended up spending a little more time in there than expected because I wanted to make sure I bagged it up nicely and added some finishing touches to the wrappers. I’m just so glad it turned out so well. I’m on freaking cloud nine right now.

  “Here you are, babe,” I say, handing Kalen his goodie bag.

  He grabs it out of my hands and his lips pull into a nervous smile. What is that about?

  I furrow my brows. “Hey, are you okay?”

  He searches my eyes and then says, “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. I should get these to my dad though. He’ll enjoy them,” he says, lifting the bag and reaching for the door.

  I grab his arm gently. “Hey, wait… no kiss?” He’s always given me a kiss good-bye.

  Kalen pauses for a moment and then gives me a peck on the lips. Wow, that was cheap.

  “I’ll call you later, okay?” he says, opening the door.

  “Um, okay…” And after those words leave my lips, he’s gone.

  What the hell was that about?

  I frown, leaning up against the closed door and think over brunch. Had I said something wrong? Did I do something I wasn’t supposed to, making him feel uncomfortable?

  Nothing comes to mind that would cause him to act so weird, but maybe he’s just not feeling well? Maybe something he ate didn’t sit right with him and he didn’t want to say something to hurt my feelings. Not like it would because it’s not like I was the one who cooked it, but maybe he thought he’d put me in a tough spot.

  I bet that’s it. I guess it’s nothing and I was just overthinking things.

  I smile so that I don’t make myself into a nervous wreck for no reason and push away from the door. I walk back to my room, but on the way there, I pass by Daddy’s office. The door is slightly cracked, and as I look inside, I see him placing some papers into his briefcase. I guess he’s getting ready to leave again.

  I frown. I hate whenever he has to go, and lately he’s been taking longer and longer trips each time. He claims they’re work-related, but I don’t even know anymore. He never used to be gone for more than only one night at a time. Now, he’s been spending long weekends away from home almost every week.

  “So, where are we going on Friday?” I ask Kalen through the phone. I’m lying on my bed, getting ready to go to sleep, but before I do, I need to hear his voice. This is a nightly ritual of ours. I can’t sleep unless we talk first.

  Friday is two days away, but I can’t wait to see him then. We’ve had a date set to hang out since Sunday night. He’s been spending a lot of time working with his dad lately, so I’m really looking forward to some extra time with my baby. Thank God he’s no longer working at the construction site or I’d probably never see him. Ha, yeah right. He’d never do that to me. He’d always make sure to make time for me.

  “Ugh, well, I….”

  “Oooh, how about we see if Jason and Erin want to grab burgers from the diner and then catch a movie? That would be so much fun… we haven’t had a double date in so long,” I cut in excitedly.

  “Lexi, I—”

  “Or it could be just you and I if you’d prefer. I don’t care as long as I get to be with you,” I giggle, flipping over onto my back and twirling my hair around my fingers. He makes me feel so good and so giddy. God, I love him so much.

  He takes in a deep breath. “Lexi, I’m sorry. I’m not going to be able to see you Friday night.”

  My h
eart sinks to my stomach. “What? Why not?”

  “I have to work late. I promised my dad I would help out more.”

  I bite my bottom lip. “Oh, okay. Well then, how about after you’re done? We could just meet up for a few hours at the Creek and just chill. Or—”

  “Hey, I’ll call you later. I have to go.” Kalen hangs up before I even have a chance to say good-bye.

  That was the oddest phone conversation ever. What the hell was that about? He has never canceled on me before. And he called me by my name more than he usually does. Whatever happened to babe or love or princess, or for fuck’s sake, anything other than Lexi? Nothing. Just plain old Lexi is what he called me.

  I don’t want to make something out of nothing, but I can’t deny the fact that the whole conversation doesn’t sit right with me. Thoughts from the way he acted after brunch come crashing back to me. Was that the beginning of something more?

  He’s been kind of distant with me since then. I can’t believe it hasn’t hit me till now. Our phone conversations have gotten shorter and shorter. Our time together has also diminished.

  I swallow hard and know that I won’t be getting any sleep tonight.

  And for the rest of the week, he keeps pulling further and further away from me.

  Monday afternoon, I find myself with Erin outside of school. The day has just ended but I can’t help but feel totally down. Things with Kalen haven’t changed, and I don’t know what to do to fix them. He wasn’t even in school today, and he hasn’t answered any of my calls all weekend.

  She and Jason just broke up about a week ago. Something is going on with these guys, and I’d love to know what it is. The only difference with her is that she’s the one who broke it off with him. Erin says she needs time to think because she’s not sure they click anymore.

  “Well, have you asked him about it?” Erin asks, kicking her feet back and forth as she sits on top of a wooden bench.