Shattered: A Salvation Society Novel

by Bella Emy

  “Lexi? Hello?” Erin’s voice brings me out of my musings.

  I turn my head away from the perfect sight of Kalen Starling and when my eyes meet with hers, I nod. “Hmm?”

  She furrows her brows. “Well, did you see the hottie at five o’clock?”

  Nodding again, I reply, “Yes, but I also saw the hottie at eight o’clock.”

  “Huh?”

  I swallow hard. Even though the panic hasn’t set in again today after seeing Kalen like it did the other night, I still feel a bit uneasy. Nevertheless, I take a breath and respond. “Look.”

  Erin looks in the direction I mentioned and when she finally catches a glimpse of who I’m referring to, she gasps. “Oh my God! Kalen? Are you okay, Lexi?”

  I shrug. “I mean, I guess. I don’t know. I didn’t run off this time, but I’m still nervous.”

  She nods. “Well, no running off, I’m here. Come, let’s continue making our way to the bar. This deserves a drink.”

  I follow her lead and we finally reach the Tiki bar. She orders us a round of martinis and we sip on them.

  Erin swirls her drink around in her glass. She never meets my gaze as she says, “Kalen Starling… I should’ve known.”

  I give her a questioning look. “Should’ve known? Should’ve known what?”

  “That he’d turn out looking so hot! Damn, girl. He’s on fire!”

  We chuckle, but I reach out, grabbing her arm. “Shhh!”

  Erin raises an eyebrow. “What? Do you actually think he’s going to hear me?”

  I shrug. “Maybe?”

  “He’s all the way near the entrance. There’s no way.”

  I nod. “I know.”

  Her expression suddenly turns serious. “Hey, all jokes aside. Are you okay? We can totally get out of here.”

  “And not finish these drinks?” I wink at her and she smiles. “I’m fine, really. I promise.”

  “Okay, good. He wasn’t supposed to be back anytime soon.”

  I wonder what brought him back before he was supposed to be.

  I shrug. “It’s fine, really. I think it was just the first initial seeing him again that shocked my system. I’m over that now. I refuse to let Kalen have any more effect on my body, like he used to.”

  She gives me a dubious look. “Yeah, we’ll see.” She finishes her drink.

  I take a sip and then frown. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It means that although you may have come here thinking Kalen Starling no longer has any effect on you, things can quickly take a turn.”

  I smirk. “No way, don’t be so sure.”

  “Oh, I am,” Erin responds. “No one expected Kalen to look like this. Not to mention that he’s wealthy. But that’s besides the point. I wouldn’t be surprised if before we get ready to end this vacation, you’ll have your hands full of Kalen Starling… if you’re lucky.” She winks at me and then motions for the bartender to come on over.

  “Erin, you have done lost your mind.”

  I love my best friend, but she’s fucking crazy if she thinks I’ll let Kalen get to me ever again.

  I quickly take a peek over at where Kalen was sitting, but am utterly disappointed when he’s no longer there.

  Great. He’s probably keeping his distance from me as best as he possibly can. After running off at the rehearsal dinner, I’m sure he thinks I hate him still, even though we didn’t even exchange a single word.

  But hate? No, I never hated him. I was infuriated by him after leaving me high and dry, sure. But never hated.

  Oh well, I guess it doesn’t matter. He’s gone, and I doubt that even though this is his place and he’s here, I’ll be running into him again. I’m sure he’s going to be keeping his distance even more.

  Erin can’t be more wrong. Kalen Starling and I are a thing of the past, and that’s the only place where the two of us will stay.

  Chapter Twenty

  “That was amazing, but now I’m stuffed,” Erin says. She throws back the neon green drink until the remnants are all gone.

  It may be just me, but she’s looking a little green in the face.

  After a fun day of swimming off the coast of Starling Paradise, we decided food and drinks were a must. I’ve never seen so many colorful fish in all my life. Not even all the times I’ve visited the aquarium had I seen so many different types and patterns. It was truly beautiful and something I’ll remember for the rest of my life.

  I take a sip of my Strawberry Daiquiri. “Yeah, everything was great.”

  Erin doesn’t look too good. The green hue in her face is getting stronger.

  “Are you all right?” I ask.

  She looks at me for a moment without saying a word, and then finally answers. “Actually, I don’t. I feel like I’m going to hurl.”

  I knew it. It may be a bit too much alcohol and the mixture of new foods she tried. I’m not sure, but I’m definitely able to tell Erin just isn’t herself.

  “Oh, no, girl. I knew it. I saw it from your face that something was wrong.” I give her another once over.

  She brings a hand up to cover her mouth and retches. “Ugh, I’m sorry. I don’t know what it was or what did it, but I don’t feel right.”

  I nod. “Let’s get back to the room.” I lift a finger to get the waiter’s attention so that he can bring over the check.

  “No, no… you stay. I’ll be fine on my own…”

  I take a good look at Erin, but there’s no indication in her facial features that she’s okay. There’s no way I’ll let her walk to the room by herself.

  I shake my head. “Nope. I’m going with you.”

  Once the waiter drops off our check and we pay the bill, we take off for our room. Thankfully, we settled on trying one of the restaurants on-site, so we’re not far at all.

  As soon as we get into the room, Erin runs straight for the bathroom. I hear the sounds of her becoming physically ill. I cringe. I’ve never been able to handle vomiting very well. The acidic smell alone makes me want to hurl myself.

  Once she calms down for a few minutes, I walk to the door and knock softly. “Erin, are you okay in there? Do you need anything?”

  No response. Moments later, the door opens and she walks out looking as though she’s been to war. Her hair is messy, her shirt is dirty, and she’s slouching, walking directly toward her bed.

  “I t-think I’m d-dying…” she murmurs.

  I feel so bad. She certainly does look like death. I walk over to where she is right before she hits her bed. “Oh, no, Erin. Let me help you change.”

  I help her get out of her clothes and into her pajamas, consisting of a white T-shirt and navy-blue cotton shorts. Once she’s changed, she crawls into bed and I lift the covers over her. She’s out within five seconds.

  I take a deep breath and look around. My eyes catch a glimpse of the clock on the wall and I sigh. It’s only just after eight in the evening, and no way do I feel like going to bed right now. We’ve been here less than a week, and I sure as hell want to enjoy my time. I know once I get back home and open the lounge, I’m going to be super busy. Who knows when I’ll get to go on vacation again.

  A muffled club beat coming from outside makes its way into my ears. I turn my head toward it and my gaze darts over to the balcony window as a dazzling array of colored lights dance around, instantly gripping my attention. They look absolutely stunning, and I want a better view. I walk over to it and open the door. The sound of the music coming from downstairs intensifies and I instantly feel like dancing. As I step outside onto the balcony, a warm breeze hits my cheeks and caresses my bare shoulders. When I got dressed earlier, I settled on a short black off-the-shoulder dress, which feels perfect for this evening.

  Looking down to the left, people dancing and having a good time fill the area. The Tiki bar from the other day is surrounded. It looks like so much fun, and something I’d love to get into. I turn my head to look inside the room, and Erin is still passed out cold. I wonder if
she’d be pissed at me if I were to head downstairs for a couple of hours.

  After going back and forth with myself for the past ten minutes, I decided to take a chance. I leave a glass of water with a note next to where Erin is sleeping in case she wakes up while I’m not here. I doubt I’ll be gone for more than two hours, but I just write down that I’ll be back soon.

  I exit the hotel and make my way onto the beach—I love that as soon as you open the doors, you’re right on the shore—and the music instantly captivates me. The excitement of the crowd of people dancing also gets my blood going. Everyone is so alive down here and it looks like they’re all having such a great time. I don’t really want to dance by myself, so I head to grab a drink.

  I make my way past the crowd and find the Tiki bar, ordering something light to start. I already had one drink at dinner and don’t really want to push it with strong liquor. The bartender, a man in his late thirties with blond hair and a smile that makes him look like Zachary Morris from Saved by the Bell, walks up to me asking what I’ll have. I decide to keep it simple and ask for a Mojito. What’s easier than that right now?

  “You never were one for the heavy liquor.”

  A deep, sultry voice coming from the left makes me snap my head toward it as the bartender hands me my drink.

  Emerald green eyes that I could never have forgotten bore into me. Holy fuck. Kalen Starling is standing just mere inches away from me. When the hell did he get here? Had I seen him earlier, I sure as hell would not have sat down here.

  He points to the seat beside me. “May I?”

  Too shell shocked to speak, I bat my eyes a few times and hear him chuckle.

  “Okay, okay. I’ll play it safe and sit over there.” He walks to the next seat over and plops down into it.

  I can’t stop my eyes from scanning him over. He’s in dark gray dress pants and a white dress shirt with only the top two buttons open. Over it, he dons a matching gray blazer. A shadow of a goatee covers his handsome face and—what am I saying? I’m supposed to be mad at him. I’m supposed to hate him. Yet, I can’t take my eyes off of him. What the hell is wrong with me?

  After he ignored me for all those years after what we had, how can I even think he’s cute? Or handsome. Or downright fucking hot, making every inch of me crave his lips on mine like they used to be so long ago.

  Ugh. I hate myself right now. I hate my body for going against me and betraying me. This is not the way things are supposed to go. This is not the way I’m supposed to feel when I see Kalen Starling. Not even close.

  My eyes watch his every move as he tilts his head away from my direction and faces forward, raising one finger to alert the bartender. He orders a whiskey on the rocks, and after Steve—I learned the bartender’s name after Kalen thanked him—hands him his drink, he takes a swig and then faces me once more. A small but satisfied grin pulls across his face, and then he wipes his mouth with a napkin.

  All the while, I still can’t peel my eyes away from him. I tried, but something about him and where we are now is making it difficult for me to look elsewhere. It’s like he’s cast some type of spell on me, not letting me pull my gaze away.

  Finally he opens his mouth and speaks. “So, Lexi. How are you? It’s been so long. Are you enjoying your stay here at Starling Paradise?”

  It’s been so long? Shit, that doesn’t even scratch the surface. It’s been years, almost a damn decade since we last saw one another. And yet, the way he’s talking, you’d think we just saw each other a year ago.

  I swallow thickly, trying to find the way to form some words to answer his questions. But I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to answer him anymore. Long ago, I wouldn’t have been speechless. I would have known exactly how to answer him because he was one of my best friends. Today, he’s just a stranger. A stranger who I’m having a hard time not cursing out right about now. I think that’s the reason why it’s so hard for me to find the right words. I want to tell him to fuck off, to ask him how dare he speak to me now like nothing ever happened between us, but I don’t want to be impolite. I don’t want to be rude or bring attention to us. How would it look if I cursed out the owner of the resorts here? I’m sure that would kill his business and his ratings.

  Although that would be a great way to get back at him…

  Yet, I won’t stoop that low.

  Taking a deep breath, I finally say, “Kalen,” and nod.

  A smile curls on his lips. “Ah, she speaks. It’s good to hear your voice again.”

  Is it? I squint my eyes.

  A nervous chuckle erupts from his throat. “Look, Lexi. I’m not trying to start anything with you.” He takes another sip from his glass. “I know you’re pretty ticked with me, yet, I don’t really know why, but that’s beside the point. I’m not trying to open up a can of worms.”

  Open up a can of worms? Right. The can’s been popped open and the worms have already wiggled their slimy way out. Doesn’t he know why I’m pretty ticked? Well, if that doesn’t make my blood boil, I don’t know what does.

  Clearing his throat, he continues. “All I want to do is get to know you once again as a friend. That’s all. I’d like to put whatever happened between us in the past behind us. I want to move forward and I don’t want you to feel some type of way every time you see me… like I can tell you’re feeling now by the way you’ve been glaring at me since I commented on your drink,” he points to my cup and then adds, “which you should probably finish already since the ice is melting.”

  My gaze rips from Kalen to my drink. “Ah, fuck.”

  He lets out a throaty chuckle as I throw it back and swallow a large gulp of alcohol.

  I’d better finish the rest of this before it gets nasty. I don’t really like it if it’s not ice-cold.

  Finishing his own drink, he then catches me off guard. “Have dinner with me tomorrow evening.”

  I practically spit out my drink when his words leave his lips. “What?!” I don’t think I’ve heard him correctly.

  If looks could kill, I’m sure the way I’m glaring at him right now would have him buried six feet under.

  Yet, this doesn’t stop him. Instead, he speaks once more. “Fine, breakfast. Have breakfast with me tomorrow morning, then.”

  Okay, this deserves a lot more alcohol than I had previously expected, but I can’t order another drink. In fact, I think the best thing to do right now is march my ass right back to the room.

  Picking up my glass from the counter, I tip it back, letting it hit my throat and swallow the remaining amount. I rise up from my seat, and right before I step away from the bar to leave, I turn to face Kalen. “It was nice catching up, but I hope never to do that again. Good-bye, Mr. Starling.” Turning on my heels, I face away from him and stomp back toward the entrance of the hotel.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  The nerve of Kalen Starling. The fucking audacity he has even to think that I would entertain the thought of having dinner with him… or breakfast… or whatever. No way. Not happening. Not even in a million years. Not even if he were the last man on the planet.

  Fuck, I’d rather retire to a convent, wearing nun gear, or whatever it’s called. I’d rather never have sex again than go out to eat with Kalen, pretending everything he did to me doesn’t matter.

  Okay, maybe that’s a bit extreme because it has been quite some time since I’ve gotten laid. I haven’t spent the night rolling around in bed in so long with someone other than my battery-powered boyfriend, Jason… which, yes, I damn sure named. I needed to scream someone’s name as I came each time, pretending I’m not a hopeless loser, never to be intimate with a man again, and the first person to pop into my mind was Jason Momoa. A girl can dream about being taken on an underwater adventure by the ruler of the ocean, can’t she? Aquaman seemed just fine.

  I shake the thoughts from my head. With Kalen looking the way he does and me not getting laid in so long, I’m aching for some relief.

  But that’s not the poi
nt of this right now, and I need to stay focused on the matter at hand. What it all comes down to is the fact that Kalen Starling will not get to me, and I refuse to let him think that I would ever share a meal with him.

  I’m sure he figured with as much time that has gone by, I probably put it all behind me and that we can be old buddies again. But nope. That’s not happening. Sure, it’s the past, and I don’t dwell on it—much—but, there are just some things that are unforgivable, and Kalen completely dismissing me after taking my virginity and making me believe we had everything is just one of those things. I will never forgive him for breaking my heart.

  How is it that he doesn’t remember why I can’t stand him so much? That makes me even more furious to know that it doesn’t even bother him as much as it bothers me. If there ever was a chance of me forgiving him, with him admitting that he doesn’t know why I’m so mad, just blows that chance away. But let me make it quite clear that there never was a chance or will be. I may bend on a lot of things, but this one, never. Not now, not ever.

  “That is gorgeous!” Erin’s voice sounds. Kennedy just FaceTimed us a few minutes ago to show us Venice, her honeymoon spot.

  Even though she’s been talking to Kennedy for a while, my mind keeps wandering back to dangerous territory. Some things just shouldn’t be thought about. But I can’t help it. I’m appalled and shocked that he had the nerve to ask me out. Twice. Ugh! The nerve.

  Erin and I decided to take a walk on the beach since the weather is cloudy and a bit cooler today. It’s going to be a nice break from the heat of the past few days. I know some people don’t like to go to the beach when it’s cloudy, but it’s honestly always been one of my favorite things to do. The cool waves lapping at my feet as I walk along the shore is like a breath of fresh air.

  She plops down beside me to show me the view on her iPhone. Kennedy waves frantically when she sees me. She’s got her arm wrapped around Max’s neck as they ride on a gondola. Wow. It’s truly breathtaking. I’ve seen pictures of the place in books and stuff, but seeing it like this on a live camera is totally different. I can manage that it’s even more spectacular in person. One day, I’ll be going there myself… maybe I’ll honeymoon there, too, with my future-husband.