Shattered: A Salvation Society Novel

by Bella Emy

  I swallow hard. Terrible. Miserable. Depressed. Any of those descriptors work right about now. But do I go ahead and confess that to him? He has no idea about my lounge, nor do I really want to get into it right now. “I’m okay… sort of.” Okay, so maybe I can’t hide it all that well. Shit. I really hope he doesn’t ask questions.

  “I saw what happened on the news. I’m very sorry.”

  Well, shit. He didn’t even ask. He already knows. But how? “How do you even know? I never said anything to you about my lounge.”

  A soft chuckle escapes him. “I have my ways. But anyway, I want to get your mind off things for a while, and that’s why I’m calling.”

  I furrow my brows. I’ve tried to take my mind off things since last night, but it was futile. I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened for a single second. Plus, the images I got to see online didn’t help either.

  I guess he figures if he takes me out now, it’ll help. But I’m in no freaking mood. If I didn’t agree to it before, I sure as hell won’t agree to it now.

  “I don’t know, Kalen. I’m not really up to doing much of—”

  “Take a trip with me.”

  I have to pause for a second to make sure his words register in my brain correctly. “What?”

  “Take a trip with me, it’ll be fun, and get your mind off things… you can relax and take a breather.”

  “A trip?” I repeat. Erin darts my way, leaning over my shoulder, trying to listen in. I smirk as she strains to hear the other side of the conversation.

  “Uh-huh,” he says, and adds nothing further.

  Guess I need to reject him yet again. There’s no way in hell I’m agreeing to go anywhere with him right about now. If I leave here, it will be to go home and try to figure everything out. There is a list a mile long of things I need to do now that my lounge is ruined and won’t be opening any time soon. Even if I had the amount of money needed to fix everything, there just isn’t enough time.

  I take a deep breath. Erin nudges my shoulder, but it doesn’t stop my response. “Kalen, I’m sorry. I can’t do that. I just—”

  “Aww, c’mon, Lex. It’s for your birthday.”

  I furrow my brows and tilt my head, shocked he still remembers. “My birthday…”

  Chuckling again, he says, “Yeah, you didn’t really think I forgot, did you?”

  Um, yes…

  I turn to face Erin as she nudges me again. She mouths the words, “Oh, my God!”

  “The big two-six,” he says with a smile I can hear through the phone. “C’mon, seriously, it’ll be great. Three days on the water, just you and me. What do you say?”

  “What do I say? Ummm, how about no since there’s supposed to be a huge storm coming?”

  “Nope, no more storm. The weather reports all cleared it for this area. The storm has shifted and won’t be hitting anywhere around us. We’ll be fine. So how about that birthday getaway?”

  I was supposed to be spending my birthday celebrating with Erin. Now, I don’t even want to think about my birthday. Again, Erin taps my arm, trying to convince me to accept his invitation.

  But I can’t. I just can’t. “I don’t think so.”

  Erin pulls my arm and I have to cover the speaker part of the phone. “Lexi, you have to go! Do it!”

  “No!” I whisper-shout.

  I hear Kalen’s voice, and I bring the phone back up to my ear.

  Then a click, and I realize Erin pressed the button on the phone, causing it to go on speaker. I throw her a look and she just smiles stupidly at me.

  I don’t even bother trying to take the call off speaker. I mean, she’s going to know sooner or later.

  I place the phone down and listen to Kalen try to plead his case once more. “Come on, Lexi. A few days out on the sea will definitely clear your mind. And if it doesn’t, we can turn right around, and I’ll bring you back.” The sound of Kalen’s voice makes me bite my lip. Damn, does he have to sound hot, too? Isn’t looking good enough torture?

  I think over his words for a moment. “What if we’re too far out and it takes a long time to get me back to safety.”

  Erin throws me a look letting me know she disapproves of my reply. “Safety? Really, Lexi?” she whispers then places a hand over her forehead.

  “Then I’ll just have my private helicopter come pick you up in the middle of the ocean, no biggie.”

  I roll my eyes as a smile pulls on my face. I love how he says no biggie like having a personal helicopter at your fingertips is the norm for most people. “Is that so?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  I smirk to myself. “Right. It’s so easy when you’re loaded,” I whisper purposely so he doesn’t hear my rude remark.

  “What did you say?” He asks.

  This time, Erin punches me in the arm. I rub at it with my hand. She just shakes her head at me and mouths the words, “Not nice.”

  I shrug. “Nothing.”

  “So, how about it, Lexi. Are you willing to let yourself go and let me take your mind off things for a bit?”

  “Yes!” Erin answers for me way too excitedly.

  I throw her a glare… if looks could kill.

  Kalen chuckles. “Hey, Erin.”

  Erin giggles. “Hi, Kalen.”

  “How are you?”

  “Good, good, thanks,” she answers. “And your handsome self?”

  I want to die. Kill me right now….

  He laughs softly again. “Good, too. So, Lexi. Are you going to accept my invite like Erin says?”

  I shrug and roll my eyes once more. He’s not going to give up. If it’s not this trip, it’ll be dinner later, or an underwater adventure tomorrow, or God knows what else until I accept. And Erin is not letting it go, either. She’s just going to keep hounding me until I say yes. Maybe going out to sea really will help a bit. I just have to keep my distance and I should be fine, right?

  God, I really hope I don’t regret my decision… “Oh, what the hell. I give up. Fine. I’ll come along. You two win.”

  “Yes!” Erin shouts. “We need to get you packed!” She jumps up to her feet and heads toward the closet to go through my things.

  “But we don’t even know when this is hap—” I say but am abruptly cut off.

  “Thanks, Erin,” Kalen states, then after a few moments, he says, “I’ll get everything up and ready. You get yourself all prepared for first thing tomorrow morning. I’ll meet you in the lobby at 8 a.m.”

  8 a.m. Shit. This is really happening. What the hell did I just agree to and get myself into?

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  I wrap my arms around myself as the shawl draped across my shoulders comforts me. I’m twenty minutes early, but I couldn’t stay upstairs any longer. Erin was still fast asleep as I got dressed and ready. She stayed up late last night with me to make sure I finished packing and didn’t back out.

  Yes, it crossed my mind more than once. I could easily head down to the beach for the day, maybe hide away from Kalen and Erin. But I’m sure they’d find me. And then what?

  So, after sleeping for less than five hours I hopped out of bed at six, got myself prepared, and was downstairs with a small suitcase by seven-thirty. I think I packed enough outfits to last me a week. I mean, do I really know what I’m going to feel like wearing tomorrow? Or is it even going to look the same on me once I’m wearing it? Yeah, I know I’m being paranoid, but I have days where I’ll love the way a shirt fits me one day, and then completely hate it the next. I’m odd like that.

  “Good morning, Lexi,” Kalen’s voice sounds from behind me.

  I push away from the counter in the lobby and turn to face him. Holy mother of God… he looks amazing. My jaw wants to drop to the ground, but somehow, I manage not to do that and look like a fucking moron. I wouldn’t be surprised if I were drooling right about now though. A black V-neck T-shirt—that I’m guessing costs more than my pair of Louboutins sandals gracing my feet—sits on top of khaki shorts. He’s got both of
his hands in his pockets, and he looks down to the ground with a modest grin on his face.

  Holy fuck.

  Holy fucking fuck.

  How the hell am I supposed to be spending three days out on the water with him? I’ll have nowhere to go and hide from him; not even for a second. Maybe I can lock myself in the bathroom for a while when I feel the need to get away from him and pretend I’m fine.

  Yeah right. He’s going to end up thinking I have stomach issues. I don’t want that. It would be uberly embarrassing.

  What the hell did I just get myself into? Maybe I can still back out.

  His eyes flit back up to meet my gaze, his smile never wavering. “You ready to set sail with me?”

  I swallow thickly as his words register in my brain. “Y-yes. I’m ready.” Well, there goes my body betraying me. I was planning on backing out, but he asks me one time, and I’m willing to sell myself to him. What the fuck?

  “Cool,” he answers, pulling out his right hand from his pocket and walking toward me. “Let me take that from you.” He motions for my luggage as he comes a few feet away from me.

  Damn, he even smells good, too. If I wasn’t drooling before, I sure as hell am drooling now.

  What is wrong with me? I need to keep my cool. I need to remember why the hell I was mad at him in the first place.

  I cringe. Wait, why was I mad at him to begin with? Oh, yeah. Asshole. Dickhead. He was an ass.

  Yeah, okay. I know name-calling and such is childish. Hell, everything between us happened so many years ago, but I guess I’m still holding on to this grudge against him… even if he is smoking hot.

  I let him take my bag from my hand. He leans down and I get a view of the top of his head. But he’s so close to me now. I swallow hard yet again. Why is my heart beating so fast, speeding up with each passing second? It’s not fair how my body is reacting to him. It’s not fair.

  I need to snap out of this and think of something completely different to get my mind off things.

  Then it hits me. I need to divert my thoughts focused on him and how he’s making me feel to something more direct, more subtle.

  Finally thinking of something that I hadn’t noticed before, I tilt my head and say, “Where’s your bag?”

  Lifting his gaze to meet mine, he answers with a smile, “No need for it. All my stuff is already on board.”

  It’s already on board… of course it is. Why wouldn’t it be? He probably had someone pack his stuff and get it all situated on there. Freaking rich people. I shake my head to dismiss my ill thoughts. This is not how I want to be starting my day.

  He straightens and motions with his hand out in front of him. “Shall we?”

  I nod slowly and he leads me out of the hotel’s lobby. This should be something.

  Interesting to say the least…

  My mouth almost hits the floor as I follow Kalen to the pier leading up to his boat.

  Wait. Scratch that. It’s not just a boat. It’s one of those pretty sailboats with a lower cabin compartment for sleeping. After we got on board, he took me on a little tour, and I was undoubtedly impressed.

  Not to mention that this is an exact replica of the first boat he ever showed me hanging in that boat shop so long ago… Miller’s Boat and Water Adventures.

  Damn, the memories…

  “Look familiar?” he asks, then smiles.

  I smile back but change the subject instead. “I still can’t believe this is yours… it’s beautiful,” I say, as we sit on the top deck, sipping on some Dom Perignon.

  He gives me a small smile that sends my stomach into knots. “This is just one of many. I own a yacht as well, but I remember when we were kids you always used to say how much you wanted to take a trip on a sailboat. This just so happens to be a sailboat with shiply-yachtly features all in one.”

  I smile nervously and swallow hard. How the fuck does he even remember one of my wants and wishes from so way back when? I hardly remember them anymore. But this, what he just mentioned now, is the truth.

  I nod and he continues talking. “All of them were built from scratch. Some were upgraded just a bit for special occasions, including this one.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “Special occasions?”

  He nods. “Yup. You with me out on the ocean with your birthday coming up tomorrow. That’s a pretty big special occasion if you ask me.” He pauses for only a moment. “Would you like some more champagne?” He lifts the bottle in my direction and waits for my response.

  I turn my head around, looking out onto the sea. We’re currently at a standstill in the middle of the ocean on this beautiful morning. Well, it’s about to be afternoon, and I’m thankful for that because I’m kind of famished. I haven’t eaten much yet and the alcohol I’m sipping on will have me tipsy in no time if I don’t eat anything soon.

  “I’m good, thanks,” I respond.

  “Okay. We’ll head to the dining area for lunch in just a bit.” He points over to his right where a makeshift table and bench are set with a pretty flower arrangement. I wonder how the hell they don’t fall over when the waves are going wild.

  He interrupts my thoughts with his statement. “The vase is attached to the table… they can’t fall,” he answers, reading my thoughts. “Anyway, I’m sure you’ve got to be hungry by now.”

  I shrug. “I am a little hungry,” I lie. I’m really hungry.

  He smiles knowingly. “Well then, let’s get going. I wouldn’t want to keep a pretty lady waiting.” He winks.

  And there go the shivers down my back and the knots that form at the pit of my stomach once more. How am I going to last three days out here with Kalen Starling?

  We spend the afternoon sightseeing. Kalen takes me to different parts, showing me nearby islands and the like. Tens and tens of boaters and scuba divers could be seen before us enjoying their day without a single care in the world.

  This still feels like a dream to me. Leaning against the banister, as stars fill an evening sky, I look out onto the ocean and can’t believe I’m standing here. I sure as hell can’t believe I’m out on the sea with Kalen.

  Kalen Starling.

  Kalen Starling, the man who broke my heart so long ago.

  My eyes start watering as the memories from so long ago threaten to spill over onto my cheeks. The same unbridled tears that get me every single time.

  I try to push them away before he makes his way back up here on the deck and notices my eyes welling up with tears. Of course he does. He’s always been the observant one.

  But the truth is it’s been so hard holding back since seeing his face once more. And as silly as it may seem, I didn’t think I’d be running into him. Even if I knew all along that Kennedy was getting married at his resort. At his venue. He was supposed to be away on business. It’s just my luck that he wasn’t.

  “Hey,” he says as he makes his way back up the stairs.

  I quickly wipe my eyes and then turn my head in his direction and smile. “Hi.”

  I can’t take my eyes off of his handsome face as he smiles back at me.

  Oh, Lexi. What the hell were you doing, thinking you could come out here with Kalen and not feel a single thing for him even after everything you guys went through?

  How could I be so stupid to think that I could hate him?

  I can’t hate him. I don’t. I don’t even want to. Fuck, I can’t even not like him.

  He comes up beside me and stares out into the ocean. The silence between us is deafening, causing my heart to pound harder inside of my chest. Two minutes later, he finally speaks. “Everything okay?”

  I suck in a deep breath. Dammit, why is it so hard to do… this. Whatever this is between us right now, because no matter how much I hate to admit it, things are changing between us.

  And right now, being out here on the ocean with him, without a single other soul in sight, is making it feel like this is it. Like this is our second chance. Our second chance at forever.

  It’s silly of me
to think this way, I know. But I should have never agreed to come out here with him. I should have known my heart was too weak since the first moment I saw him, those flashbacks came rushing through me.

  “Lexi?” he questions, placing a casual hand on my shoulder.

  I don’t pull away. Instead, I continue staring out onto the sea, until I close my eyes and then face him. I put on a forced smile. God, I hope he can’t tell. “I’m sorry, Kalen. Today has been wonderful. I hadn’t seen anything as beautiful as I did today, in well, probably never. I love being out on the ocean and getting to see all we did today. It was just amazing. I’m just a little tired, that’s all.”

  Kalen flicks his wrist and checks the time. “Yeah, it has been a long day and it is getting late. Come, I’ll take you downstairs to get you settled in bed.”

  I nod and follow him downstairs to the bottom portion of the deck. I look around, and I don’t know why it hadn’t dawned on me before, but there is only one bed. I stop and he quickly turns around.

  Chuckling, he says, “Don’t worry, Lexi. You can have the bed. I’ll sleep right over there,” he says pointing to one of the windows.

  I furrow my brows. “I don’t understand…”

  He walks over to the window and out of the wall, pulls out a cot.

  “Well, I wasn’t expecting that,” I say with a small smile.

  He smiles back. Heavenly. “Yeah, most people don’t know about it.”

  Most people. I wonder if that means he’s had a hoard of women spend days out on the sea with him.

  Of course, he has, Lexi. Are you stupid? He’s gorgeous.

  I shake the thoughts from my mind. That’s none of my business, and I refuse to let it get to me right now.

  He runs a hand through his hair, looking around, and then meets my gaze once more. “Lexi, you can go right in there and get changed for bed.”

  I follow where he’s pointing to with my eyes and nod. Picking up my bag from the bed where it had been placed when we got here, I walk over to the bathroom and close the door behind me.