Alpha in Heat

by Anna Wineheart

  Then he glanced at Dom, his heart missing a beat. Would Dom judge him for this?

  Dom shrugged and nodded toward Perry. So Jesse cautiously lifted his hand. “I was just thinking...”

  “This one?” Perry picked up the bottle of silver glitter. “Here, hold out your hand. I’ll do one nail, and you can tell me if you like it.”

  Jesse held his breath. The other omegas had turned to watch, but Perry paid them no mind, instead brushing bits of silver and blue glitter onto Jesse’s thumbnail. It really was shiny. Jesse stared, mesmerized. And he felt a little ashamed for liking it this much.

  “It looks good, doesn’t it?” Perry grinned. “I think it’s my new favorite. Would you like that on the rest of your nails?”

  “Might be too much,” Jesse said, still looking at his thumbnail.

  “I could do just a thin coat,” Perry offered. “It won’t be as shiny, though.”

  And maybe Jesse just wanted to know what it’d look like. He’d wipe it off later. “Please?”

  “Sure.”

  Deftly, Perry adjusted Jesse’s fingers and painted the rest of his nails. And now all of Jesse’s nails were shiny, sparkling in the sunlight. The bits of blue looked really good.

  “Let them dry before you do anything else,” Perry said. “They’re fine when they’re not tacky anymore.”

  “Okay. Thanks.” Jesse sat with him, kind of wanting to show Dom, except he wasn’t sure what Dom would think of this. Dom had nudged him over here, but what if he decided he didn’t like this side of Jesse?

  Then Dom stepped over, and Jesse stopped breathing. He curled his fingers in, thinking maybe he didn’t want to show Dom, after all.

  Dom squeezed Jesse’s shoulder, leaning in. “How does it look?”

  Jesse froze up. Perry nudged him. “Go on,” Perry said. “They look really good.”

  Dom seemed expectant. Reluctantly, Jesse held up his hands. Would this make Dom regret giving Jesse the bonding marks?

  “They do look good.” Dom held Jesse’s fingers, tilting them this way and that, so his nails caught in the sunlight. “Want to grab a bottle later? So you can do them at home. Or I could help you paint them, but I doubt I’d be good at it.”

  Relief seeped into Jesse’s chest. “You don’t mind? Even as—you know. My deputy.”

  “Nah.” Dom kissed his temple. “You’re perfectly capable, sparkly nails or not.”

  Joy bubbled in Jesse’s chest. This still took some getting used to, Dom accepting even the parts of himself that Jesse hated.

  Dom met his eyes. “You don’t have to doubt yourself, you know. This isn’t a measure of you as a person.”

  “I guess.” Jesse still wanted to be the perfect alpha, worthy of being Dom’s.

  Dom stared at him for a moment, looking thoughtful. Then he patted Jesse on the back. “Looks like it’s time to go.”

  Jesse had just gotten to his feet, when something moved faintly in his abdomen. He sat back down, looking at it.

  “Felt something?” Dom asked.

  Jesse pressed his hand against his baby bump, but the feeling had disappeared. “Thought I did.”

  Perry and the other omegas were all watching him now. Then Flores said, “Oh,” and promptly clapped his hand over his mouth.

  Dom glanced at him. “Gareth told you something?”

  Flores looked sheepish. “Um, maybe?”

  But he was looking at Jesse’s abdomen, in a curious sort of way that said he knew.

  It wasn’t a secret Jesse could keep for much longer, anyway. So he blurted, “Twenty weeks.” Expecting omegas seemed to like sharing that information.

  Every omega at the picnic bench perked up, looking excitedly at him.

  “Are you going to show them?” Dom asked.

  The omegas only looked more curious. In a way, Jesse felt comforted by that. No one had said he was strange at all. “I haven’t told the team yet. So...”

  Self-conscious, he pulled his shirt up over his scarred abdomen. The stitches had come out by now, and the new incision had scarred into a silver line. The stab wound, too. But his abdomen had grown in the past few weeks, rounder than it was before.

  Perry sucked in a sharp breath. Flores winced. Ben had a pensive look on his face, but Jesse figured he might—Ben had scars, too. He just kept them hidden most times.

  “Ouch,” Flores said.

  “Why’re you all staring at Jesse’s stomach?” York stopped by the picnic bench. Then he looked at Jesse, and his eyebrows shot up. “Wow, you’ve been drinking a lot.”

  Perry—York’s husband—groaned. Flores went into a coughing fit. Ben hid his smile, and Jesse looked at Dom, unsure how he should respond.

  “We’re going to see a doctor about that,” Dom said, wrapping his arm around Jesse’s shoulders.

  “A doctor?” York frowned. “You mean, like, plastic surgery?”

  The omegas fell into a fit of giggles. Jesse wanted to cringe. Then he figured he’d give York a clue. If York didn’t understand, he’d have to wait until Jesse told everyone else. “Ultrasound,” Jesse said.

  York’s forehead furrowed deeper. Jesse almost felt sorry for him, but Jesse’s dad had taken a while, too. And that was with Jesse telling him directly. He waved, getting to his feet.

  A kid almost rolled into him. Caleb’s glasses were skewed, and he was giggling, lying on the floor wrapped in a green fabric tube.

  “What’re you doing?” Jesse asked.

  “I’m being a snake!” Caleb grinned, rolling away from Jesse. “Ssss!”

  He bumped into another kid, Izzy, who was also in a fabric tube—red this time. The two of them burst out laughing, and began to wriggle their way across the pavilion floor, their faces smudged with dirt.

  Jesse stared. “Won’t you have to give them a bath when you get home?”

  Perry shrugged. “Probably. York hoses Caleb down in the tub. It’s not so bad.”

  As he watched the pair roll off the pavilion floor and onto the grass, Jesse thought he kind of understood what Dom saw in children. They were innocent. And funny. They made him think about stuff in a whole new way.

  Then he looked at his baby bump, and wondered what this baby would be like. Whether it would make him smile, too.

  Dom tugged Jesse away from the pavilion, toward the parking lot. “Our baby won’t mind any of your scars, you know,” Dom said. “Or painted nails, or whatever. You’ll just be Dad to them.”

  Jesse liked the sound of that. Someone who wouldn’t judge him for anything.

  They drove to the Meadowfall prenatal clinic, where rainbow-and-unicorn murals decorated the walls. Lullabies played softly in the background. Jesse settled down with Dom at the waiting area, just looking around. It felt odd, being in a medical facility and not wanting to crawl out of his skin.

  While they waited, curious looks landed their way. No one asked what Jesse was doing there. Hell, Jesse had never imagined himself waiting for a prenatal ultrasound.

  A while later, they entered the doctor’s office, Dom’s touch light on Jesse’s back—a reassurance that he wasn’t alone.

  Dr. Smith was a friendly beta who smiled when Jesse shook her hand. He’d emailed her in advance—so she’d have an idea what she was getting into with him. They chatted a little; Jesse showed her his scarred abdomen. Then she had him lie on the exam bed, and Jesse fumbled. The exam bed was so soft.

  When the doctor pressed the ultrasound wand to his abdomen, a mess of black and white speckles appeared on the screen. Then she tilted the wand, and a tiny, curled-up figure came into view.

  Jesse stopped breathing. He stared at his baby bump, then the screen. “That’s... in me?” he asked.

  “Sure is,” the doctor answered with a smile.

  She took screen captures of the baby from different angles, examining it closely. Jesse tried to imagine that tiny person in his abdomen. “How big is it really?”

  The doctor measured out a length—the baby was the size of a bana
na. Smaller than Jesse expected, with how big his abdomen already was. “Is that normal?”

  “Yes, it is.”

  Jesse thought about the flutter he’d felt earlier. Until now, the concept of being pregnant had seemed kind of abstract to him. But there was a tiny face on the ultrasound image. That was his and Dom’s baby.

  Jesse’s stomach flipped. He sneaked a glance at Dom, only to find Dom entranced by the ultrasound image, his eyes bright. Jesse’s breath stuck in his throat. Yeah, Dom really adored that baby, even before it was born.

  He’d probably hurt a lot, back when Jesse had told him about terminating the pregnancy. Guilt crept into Jesse’s chest. He squeezed Dom’s hand, wanting to apologize. Dom met his eyes and smiled.

  Later. Jesse would make it up to him later.

  “Is it growing okay?” Jesse asked the doctor. “I mean, I’m not exactly built for this.”

  The doctor was quiet for a moment while she studied the ultrasound images. “Your baby matches the developmental milestones. I’d say we have a good chance of this pregnancy progressing as it should. But just in case, I’ll schedule an appointment every two weeks—that way, we’ll be able to observe you more closely.”

  That was a relief to hear.

  When the ultrasound was over, Dom asked for two printouts of their baby. “You want one for your parents?” He glanced at Jesse.

  Jesse had told his mom some weeks back, when they’d gone to Highton for a visit. She’d been excited, too. “Yeah, I think my mom would love it.”

  Dom smiled and told the doctor they’d like three printouts. He helped wipe off the ultrasound gel, before covering Jesse’s abdomen with his hands. “I’m waiting,” Dom said.

  Jesse frowned. “It was really faint. I don’t think you’ll feel it.”

  But Dom waited, hope in his eyes. They stared at each other for a long moment, just focusing on Jesse’s abdomen. Then a tiny gurgle vibrated from inside. “Might’ve been my stomach.”

  Dom lit up. “I think it’s our baby.”

  He heaved Jesse off the exam bed and spun him around in a circle. Jesse smacked him off, embarrassed. The doctor only smiled.

  Later, when they were in a department store, Dom brought Jesse to the cosmetics aisle and stopped in front of the nail polish.

  “Which color do you think would go on me?” Dom asked.

  Jesse stared. “What?”

  “You heard me.”

  Jesse looked at the colorful bottles, and back at Dom. This didn’t make sense. “Why?”

  Dom shrugged. “Why not?”

  “Because you’re an alpha.”

  “So I can’t paint my nails?” Dom raised his eyebrows.

  “It isn’t... right.” Jesse squirmed. He couldn’t imagine Dom with glitter on his nails. It wouldn’t make him any less of an alpha, but... But maybe a dark red would be okay.

  Dom picked out a pink glitter polish. That totally did not suit him at all. Then Dom leaned in and growled in Jesse’s ear, “Imagine this on my nails. Do you think it’ll make me not fuck you raw? Do you think I’ll lose to you in a fight, just because I have glitter on my nails?”

  “Well... no. But you aren’t the one with omega parts.”

  Dom looked thoughtful. Then he nodded at the rows of polish again. “Which is your favorite?”

  Jesse found the bottle of silver-and-blue glitter he’d been eyeing earlier. “It’s the same one on my nails. But Perry didn’t do a thick coat because I didn’t want it to be so shiny.”

  Dom put that bottle into the cart, along with the bottle of pink glitter polish. “Tell you what. We’ll go home, we’ll do each other’s nails, and you’ll knot inside me.”

  Jesse’s breath stuck in his throat.

  Dom smiled. “But you’ll have to fight me for it. I won’t be a sitting duck.”

  Painted nails or not, Jesse didn’t feel as though he was less when Dom looked at him this way—all dark and confident, and expectant. He just felt... powerful. Like it didn’t matter what he looked like, or what sort of past he had.

  Dom linked their fingers together. “You think?” he murmured. “Want to give it a try?”

  “Why’re you doing this?” Jesse asked, his throat growing tight.

  “I want you to see yourself from my shoes. I want you to know that you’re just as much of an alpha as I am. That it’s important for you to value yourself.” Dom kissed Jesse’s temple. “What you look like, what you’ve been through—those add to you as a person. They don’t take away from your worth.”

  Jesse glanced at his round abdomen, and the silver markings on his wrists. He tried to think of himself as the strong person Dom described. Yeah, he was a firefighter. Yeah, he’d survived. And maybe those were all good things. Things that gave him value.

  Dom trailed his wrist down Jesse’s side, holding him close. “Think about it,” he said. “Plenty of time.”

  Jesse’s heart was too small to contain what he felt for this man. “I’m sorry about before,” he blurted. “When—When you asked me to keep the baby and I got mad at you.”

  Dom blinked. Then he smiled. “I’m sorry about that, too. It’s your body. Your choice.”

  Jesse pressed his forehead against Dom’s shoulder, just hiding his smile. He still couldn’t believe Dom was here, with him. They’d been very, very lucky. “I’m also sorry about that other time. When Larson kidnapped me and I almost shot you.”

  He’d since sold the gun—he didn’t like the thought of having it around.

  Dom slipped his arms around Jesse. “I wouldn’t have blamed you at all.”

  “You can’t be serious.”

  “I am.”

  Jesse looked up. Dom gave him a warm smile, slanting their lips together. It was a gentle kiss, just an exchange of breath and intimacy. Dom had seen Jesse at his worst, and this was all he responded with.

  “Marry me,” Dom said.

  Jesse’s heart stopped. “What?”

  “I’m serious about that, too.”

  Jesse just stared, trying to process this. Dom. Wanting to marry him. Hell, Jesse hadn’t even given Dom his other bonding marks yet. “You’re... talking about the rest of our lives.”

  Uncertainty flickered through Dom’s gaze. “You don’t want to?”

  Dom’s husband had left him. For him to offer Jesse a permanent place in his heart, and make himself this vulnerable again...

  “Aren’t you scared?” Jesse blurted.

  Dom huffed, his smile crooked. “Hell yeah, I am. But I’ve given you my markings. I’m not giving them to anyone else.”

  Jesse’s heart swelled. With this question, Dom was offering Jesse his life, and his soul. Jesse wanted to offer him the same.

  He brought Dom’s wrist to his lips, kissing the spot that smelled most strongly of blackwood. Dom sucked in a sharp breath.

  “I love you,” Jesse said. “And I’m not leaving.” Then he sank his teeth into Dom’s wrist, breaking skin.

  “Fuck, Sinclair,” Dom hissed, his gaze growing dark.

  Jesse kissed his bite mark, where tiny droplets of blood were welling up on Dom’s skin. His instincts roared, Mine. “Shouldn’t that be ‘Fuck me, Sinclair’?”

  Dom smiled, possessive. “Yeah. It should.”

  He pinned Jesse against the rack of nail polish and kissed him, and Jesse didn’t care anymore who witnessed this. He already had the best gift in the world.

  33

  Childbirth

  Seven months into his pregnancy, Jesse announced it to the team.

  York’s coffee sprayed out his mouth. Alec stared. Brad’s eyebrows crawled up. Harris, Gareth, and Nate were not surprised at all. Dom slipped his arm around Jesse’s waist and squeezed his ass.

  “Pregnant?” York asked, his eyes almost falling out of his head. “I thought... that was a beer belly.”

  Jesse wrapped his arm around his abdomen, feeling awkward. “Well, it’s not.”

  “When are you due?” Harris asked. He’d opted to
stay with the team, instead of becoming station chief.

  “In about twelve weeks. That’s if it’s a full-term pregnancy.” Dr. Smith had said their baby was developing at a normal speed, but she wasn’t sure if Jesse’s body could carry it for the full forty weeks. “I want to stay on the team for as long as I can.”

  He’d talked about this with Dom, on and off. Dom strongly preferred to have Jesse stay home for the final weeks of labor. Jesse wanted to keep working—because he was a firefighter, damn it!

  So Dom had allowed him to stay on the team for now, but Jesse had noticed that Dom put him on engine duty whenever there was a fire—to minimize Jesse’s involvement with the fire itself. Jesse didn’t complain—if this allowed him to remain on the team instead of bustling like an omega at home, then he would gladly deal with it.

  His abdomen had begun to twinge, though. His hands and feet had started to swell a little, and the baby was moving a lot more than before. It almost... felt comforting, whenever their baby moved. That meant it was doing well in there.

  “Congrats?” Alec said.

  “Happy for you.” Gareth grinned. “Enjoy your sleep while you can.”

  The rest of the guys laughed. York looked between Jesse and Dom—in a way that was painfully obvious he was trying to picture how Dom had gotten Jesse pregnant. Which Jesse wasn’t about to share.

  The team smiled and shook their hands, and not once did Jesse feel out of place, even with this secret out amongst them. He really would miss these guys when the baby was born. But maybe... with the way Dom distracted him sometimes—maybe he might be too focused on the baby to miss the team. It wasn’t as though he was leaving them forever, anyway.

  The days at the station passed, filled with calls and training. During their time off, Dom and Jesse got the house ready—they painted a nursery and assembled a cot, and Jesse read up on preemie care, just in case.

  His body held on until the thirty-eighth week. Long before then, Jesse had admitted that he could only waddle now, and he wasn’t much help on the team anymore. So he stayed home and read aloud the picture books they’d bought for the baby—way in advance, but Jesse liked that he’d found his favorite books from when he was a kid.