She Is the Darkness

by Glen Cook

  “You still afraid?”

  “Huh?”

  “You said that before you were afraid all the time after you came back.”

  I frowned. I felt no fear at all. Now. “Out there, I guess. I’m fine here.” I looked back at the world. From where we stood you could see only the mountains beyond the broad valley containing Overlook and the ruins of Kiaulune. Not only did there seem to be a heat shimmer between us and them, there was a haze, too. The world seemed very remote.

  I mentioned that to Croaker.

  “I don’t see it,” he said. “There’s always a haze over a forest in the summer. Unless it’s just rained.”

  I shrugged. These days I was not as uncomfortable with the fact that I was different. I had suffered various incarnations of weirdness for too long. “You going up the road?” It stretched so invitingly before us.

  “Not today. What’s that?”

  “What?” I saw nothing but the standing stones. They seemed to be arranged in no special order, spaced well apart from one another.

  “Past the stones.” He pointed. “Let your gaze follow the road. When you can’t make it out anymore just lift your eye to the top of the stones. You’ll see it. Your eyes are younger than mine.”

  I saw something. Just a looming something.

  “It looks like a fortress,” Thai Dei said. The Old Man and I had not been using a secret language. His companions both grunted assent. Rudy and Bucket just looked troubled.

  “I’ll take your word for it,” I said. I recalled having seen what might have been a light out there during one of my ghost-walks. “Reckon that’s Khatovar?”

  “I couldn’t say from here. But if it’s a fortress and that’s all it is then it stands a good chance of being a big-ass disappointment.”

  Yeah. If you were counting skipping through the gates of paradise when you got to the end of the road. I did not know anybody who was. Unless it was him.

  “How far would you guess that is, Thai Dei?” Croaker asked.

  The Nyueng Boa shrugged. “Many miles. Perhaps a walk of days.”

  Ugh. That gave me a chance to consider what it might mean to spend the night on the plain, inside the Shadowgate, in the land whence the Shadowmasters’ deadly pets had come.

  The Old Man said, “This is enough for today. We’ll go back and set up the major probe.”

  Thinking about shadows, I found, encouraged me to resist the call of the black road.

  I paused on the brink, took one last look at the glittering pillars before I left the mountain.

  It is immortality of a sort.

  “What?”

  “You say something?” Croaker asked. He was fifty feet ahead of me already.

  “No. Just thinking out loud. I think.”

  100

  The Old Man did not sleep in. He and Lady, Otto and Hagop, Swan, Mather and Blade, the Nar, Clete, Longo and Loftus and all the rest of the Old Crew and their bodyguards, with some of Lady’s longtime followers, were on the road to the Shadowgate when I dragged myself out. It was still dark enough that Croaker’s outriders carried torches. “That son of a bitch really wants to get a head start.”

  Thai Dei was awake already. He was boiling water to make breakfast mush. He looked downhill and grunted.

  Big Bucket stumbled up, yawning, rubbing sleep out of his eyes with the back of one hand. “That the Old Man already?”

  “Mudsucker’s eager, isn’t he? Everything set?”

  “Completely. I’ll go drag Sparkle and Wheezer out of the sack.”

  “Wheezer? What the hell is he doing up here?”

  “Came up during the night. Took off early from over there because he didn’t figure he could keep up with the Old Man this morning. Didn’t want to get left behind.”

  “The old boy’s got balls,” I said. Once again I had underestimated the man. With no direct evidence I had assumed he had passed on during the summer. I should have known better. He had been dying when he latched on seven years ago. Every day seemed like it had to be the one when he coughed up his last lung, but something kept him going. “Where’s Red Rudy?”

  “Sent him to check the perimeter.”

  “One more time, eh?” That damned perimeter had been checked and rechecked five hundred times since I had been in charge. It is a military kind of thinking, never trusting anything but the situation right this minute. Time is the implacable eater of all preparations.

  “All hands standing by?” I asked.

  “Said everything was set.” He looked into Thai Dei’s pot. “Looks tasty, my man.”

  Thai Dei had no sense of humor and little ability to recognize sarcasm. He nodded. “A little salt, a little sugar. A handful of tuloc grubs or shredded monkey jerky would improve the flavor.”

  “Twolock grubs?”

  I would not have asked myself.

  “You find them in rotten logs. In the swamp we fell trees so they will have a place to grow.”

  I asked, “Are you nervous?”

  Thai Dei gave me his hard look, like how on earth could I think he would be bothered by anything?

  “You’re chattering like a flock of crows.”

  Thai Dei grunted, recognizing the truth. He went back to being himself.

  “Beetle grubs,” I grumbled. “Only the Nyueng Bao would think of farming them.”

  “What’s wrong with grubs?” Bucket asked. “You fry them in butter, toss in a couple sliced mushrooms... It’s time to play the game.”

  Croaker and Lady were climbing the slope now. I could see them clearly enough to tell that they were dressed in their Widowmaker and Lifetaker costumes with all the showoff spells alive and crawling. They rode the stallions from the stables of the Tower at Charm. Those giants’ hooves struck sparks every time they hit the ground. Their eyes shone red. Their nostrils puffed breath that seemed somehow more than just steam in the cool of the morning. Trumpets, cymbals and drums seemed appropriate but Lady and the Old Man never went in for that kind of thing. Those two, and every man behind them except the prisoners, carried a small arsenal of bamboo.

  Howler was in a small wheeled wooden cage drawn by a brace of black goats. He and Lady must have reached an accommodation because no obvious control measures had been added to the bars. Although he was surrounded by a half-dozen soldiers who could bathe him in fireballs before he could get off any really ugly spell.

  Longshadow endured similar confinement but he and Lady had not reached any agreement. His mouth had been sewn shut. His fingers had been sewn together. If he was going to cast any spells he would have to do so by wiggling his ears. But the nervous soldiers nearby would roast him before he could do much more than twitch.

  The guys were rattled because he was in such a state. He kept tearing at the bars of his cage while trying to scream incoherently through his sealed lips.

  Longshadow did not want to go up the mountain.

  The Prahbrindrah Drah was being treated well. Willow Swan and Cordy Mather flanked him, doing their duties as Royal Guards, while Otto, Hagop, the engineer brothers and the Nyueng Bao bodyguards who tagged along after everybody formed a larger diamond around those three. Longinus and Loftus conversed with the Prince as though this venture was nothing remarkable.

  I admired the Prahbrindrah Drah. He was a good man and a sound one. It was a pity we could not let him go home. After his years in the field he had the self-confidence and willpower to stand up to his sister and take up the reins of the state. He had learned enough and had developed the strength of character to resist the extortion efforts of the senior priests.

  The panther that used to be a woman was in a cage that was more like a coffin. She could not stand up. At no time would she be able to use the full leverage of her powerful muscles. She could do little but lie there and be angry.

  The Captain did not believe in taking chances. He had seen what the forvalaka could do ages ago.

  All our enemies would share our adventure. And our fate unless they elected to warn us a
bout something.

  Rudy slipped down the slope to meet the Captain, alerted by Bucket’s remark about it being game time. I did not look back.

  I knew he meant that Sleepy had come out of the bunker and was sprawled against the wall by the door again. Just the way we wanted.

  Rudy would ask the Old Man to have his crowd make a racket coming into my shanty monarchy.

  One of Bucket’s favorite Taglian lieutenants, stuck with the name Lhopal Pete to distinguish him from a sergeant everybody called Khusavir Pete (both “Petes “deriving from the center syllable of an eleventeen-syllable Gunni godname), came to tell his leader he would need to bring up a lot more water if the men were going to take care of all the cleanup I wanted them to do while I explored beyond the Shadowgate. Bucket told him, “Wait till that bunch of aristocratic assholes gets on up here. We don’t want anybody to get trampled.”

  “Yes, sir.” Lhopal Pete collected his work party and took them around behind my bunker where they would be out of the way till Croaker arrived and made enough noise to cover the bunch sneaking up on Sleepy.

  I started spooning mush into my mouth. “You’re right, Thai Dei. Even grubs and bugs couldn’t hurt this stuff. Give me a bowl for Sleepy.”

  I took it over myself. “Here you go, kid.”

  Sleepy just stared. I moved the bowl up under his nose. “You better get well enough to feed yourself, kid. I’m in no mood to keep doing it for you.” I glanced back to see how close Croaker was. There was enough light now that torches were becoming superfluous.

  In minutes he was close enough. The racket was loud enough. I dropped the wooden spoon into Sleepy’s lap, seized his wrists, clamped down. The guys came out from behind the bunker. One grabbed Sleepy’s hair and yanked his head back. Another shoved a wad of dirty rag into the kid’s mouth.

  Soulcatcher fought. But the surprise was complete. She never had a chance. “All wrapped up,” I told the Old Man when he stopped his mount beside us.

  “You use every piece of rope you had?”

  Catcher did look like a victim of excessive enthusiasm.

  “Don’t want to take any chances, boss. I wish you’d brought another one of those cages.”

  “Now that would’ve been a dead giveaway, wouldn’t it? Even if I’d known what you planned.”

  Lady stopped right behind Croaker. She had her Lifetaker helmet on. There was no way to tell what she was thinking. She never said a word, just stared at the sister who had caused her so much trouble for so long.

  Catcher did not abandon the Sleepy form. She was not a natural shapeshifter so maybe changing was difficult to do. I did not count on that, though. She had a history of altering her appearance. I asked, “She have to stay this way as long as we’ve got her tied up?”

  Lady did not respond. She just stared.

  “I mean, I wouldn’t want her turning to jelly and oozing away when I wasn’t looking. I guess I could stuff her into a big jar. If I had a jar. If it had a lid that could be sealed.”

  Croaker said, “I don’t think she can do anything as long as she’s gagged and her hands are tied.”

  “Want we should cut off her fingers?”

  “I think she’ll behave. For now. Won’t you?”

  Catcher did not respond.

  She was over her surprise. Already I could sense calculation and the beginnings of what might be amusement.

  Bucket asked, “Any of you geniuses decide what to do with her now that you’ve caught her?”

  I said something real intelligent like, “Huh?”

  “Like Murgen said, you should of brung a cage. Or was you just going to let her walk?”

  The Old Man’s mood blackened. “Make a litter. She always wanted to be treated like a queen. She can even have her own royal guards. Swan! Mather! You guys can carry the lady.”

  “Aw, go fuck yourself,” Swan said.

  Cordy said, “Take it easy, Willow.”

  “What the fuck’s he gonna do, Cordy? Drag me off to Khatovar?”

  Lady tugged her reins. Her mount turned till she was facing Swan and Mather. After a moment Swan said, “All right. All right.” Ten minutes later he was carrying the downhill end of a litter. He never stopped grumbling but he was far enough behind me that I did not have to listen. Hagop let Swan and Mather start rotating with others after a few miles.

  I went through the Shadowgate first. Croaker followed. After a few dozen yards, he said, “Stop here. I want to experiment. Lower the Lancehead to the black path.” He dismounted as I did that. He took his silver Company badge off his cloak, held it to the Lance for a moment, then knelt and pressed it against the ribbon of black. His knees creaked. He grunted and strained.

  I asked, “What’s that all about?”

  “I’m not sure. Lady thought it couldn’t hurt.”

  So the killer shadows could pick us out of the crowd? Or maybe the other way around. Lady’s instincts were sound. She had been around since before the original Company came down this mountain.

  Croaker told me, “Stay here till everybody goes by. Have all our guys get their badges blessed. And don’t forget yourself.”

  Lady dismounted, followed the Old Man’s example. Then she remounted and continued up the slope, following Croaker, single file.

  Man by man and animal by animal the column filed past. I got puzzled looks from the Company guys and black looks from everybody else. I checked to see where the Old Man was. In Nyueng Bao I told Thai Dei, “If you want you could touch the Lancehead, then that spot on the ground. The others, too.”

  He thought about that. “I wish Uncle was here to make a ruling.”

  “What’s it gonna hurt? And it might be some kind of protection. You don’t have to count it as some big-ass commitment to Company fortunes.”

  He thought some more, probably wondering if we were not sucking them in little by little, then he shouted at the other Nyueng Bao. He gathered them round, told them they had the option and that taking the blessing might offer a measure of protection once the sun went down.

  Many of the Nyueng Bao did not like the idea.

  Sparkle came past leading a string of overburdened but infinitely patient bullocks. “You going to bless the animals, too?” He was being sarcastic but I wondered if it might not be worthwhile. Shadows seldom bothered animals in the world outside if human prey was available. But we were not in that world anymore.

  The Nyueng Bao argued heatedly but so softly I could not make out a word. Thai Dei eventually had enough. “You do as each of you wishes.” He stalked over, slapped his palm against the head of the Lance, dropped and slapped the black trail, got up and took his place beside me.

  I expected the Old Man to start bellowing any second but he never bothered to look back.

  Howler trundled past. When he reached for the Lance I lifted it. “Keep moving. Friends of the Company only.” I touched each of his black goats on the noggin with the Lancehead. Longshadow came along. The Shadowmaster seemed to be paralyzed. His eyes stared into infinity. I had seen that stare before, but only from guys who had suffered too much terror on the battlefield.

  Fifty people may not sound like a big gang but when you add in all the animals and whatnot necessary to make a long journey it turns into a pretty good parade. Lady and the Old Man were almost to the top when Rudy and Bucket came up as the rearguard. Rudy asked, “You want we should kiss that thing, too?”

  “If you think it’ll help.”

  “I’ll give it a handjob if that’s what it takes to get me through the next three or four nights.”

  “I’ll let you know. I got to get back up front.” By now all the Nyueng Bao had made their decisions one way or another and had dealt with the standard according to their choices.

  I hurried through the routine myself, with Rudy’s help.

  As he neared the top Croaker halted but not to give me a chance to catch up. Good old Murgen would get out front, where he could be the first one to get his head kicked in, only because th
e Captain had to wait for the troops to adjust to the road so the carts and wagons could make the climb. “’Scuse me.’Scuse me there,” I said as I clambered past the engineer brothers. “Do a good job so you don’t have to do it again on the way back.”

  A lot of people stood around watching. Construction was not what they did. They felt no urge to learn the trade at this late date. Swan told me, “Lugging this stretcher wasn’t such a bad idea after all.” Mather, though, was working. Cordy Mather was a good man. I wondered how much the Radisha missed him. I wondered if she spent much time trying to figure out why he had not come back.

  I do not believe it was for the sake of the Prahbrindrah Drah.

  None of my no never mind, though.

  Catcher was awake and alert. She looked me in the eye. I think she would have smiled had she had the use of her mouth. I told her, “I want Sleepy back.” She did not respond. She just lay there and twinkled.

  When I caught up with the Old Man and finished puffing I asked, “Did you send anyone to look around where I thought I saw my horse?”

  “Sent a whole company. Left the same time we did.” He looked down the road. “What’s taking them so long?”

  “All generals and no soldiers.” Lady, I noted, had turned her mount completely and was surveying the world from our new vantage point. Men were at work in Overlook already. Smoke rose from cookfires scattered everywhere. Most of the more westerly belonged to shadowlanders gradually creeping back into the farmland. The sky was overcast. I wondered if we would have rain.

  “What’s that?” Croaker asked.

  “What’s what?”

  “Down there. On the road to your camp.”

  “Your eyes are better... I see it. Little bit of dust.” Somebody, maybe several somebodies, was headed for my camp. They were too far off to make anything of them. They did seem to be in a hurry.

  The carts began to roll. Clete and Longo and Loftus began congratulating themselves loudly. Goats bleated. Bullocks offered bovine complaints. Men cursed. The column began to creak forward.

  “Lead on, Standardbearer,” Croaker said. “And don’t forget that those goats can’t run as fast as you can.” He put his helmet on. The spells on his armor came alive.