When I Knew

by Jayrin Park

  When I Knew

  Jayrin Park

  Limson Publishing

  Copyright © 2021 Jayrin Park

  All rights reserved

  The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

  No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.

  ISBN-13: 9781234567890

  ISBN-10: 1477123456

  Library of Congress Control Number: 2018675309

  Printed in the United States of America

  Editing and proofreading by Samuel L

  Cover design by HDM Studio

  Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Chapter 1 - Back Again

  Chapter 2 - Downtown

  Chapter 3 - Thin

  Chapter 4 - Burden

  Chapter 5 - Stares

  Chapter 6 - Red as Strawberries

  Chapter 7 - Holding Back

  Chapter 8 - In Our Hearts

  Chapter 9 - Late

  Chapter 10 - Offer

  Chapter 11 - Cloud Nine

  Chapter 12 - Family

  Chapter 13 - Passing By

  Chapter 14 - Thoughts

  Chapter 15 - Choices

  Chapter 16 - Make or Break

  Chapter 17 - Night to Remember

  About The Author

  Chapter 1 - Back Again

  Mike Pearson

  “We’re over, Mike.”

  My heart sunk. “Camilla…why?” I raised my eyebrows in confusion.

  “I’m tired, Mike. Of us. I’ve been feeling really suffocated these days and I just need my space,” she said indignantly.

  “What have I done?” I was shaking. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

  “Mike,” she sighed, “I just think this is what’s best.”

  My head spun so fast that I was afraid I would lose my footing and fall to the ground.

  “Camilla…I’m so sorry if I’ve done anything insensitive. I’ll change, just tell me what I need to do!” I pleaded with her.

  “Mike begging is not going to make me take you back. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time, and now I’ve made up my mind.”

  “Baby, was it because I joked about moving to California? I-I was only joking,” I told her. My whole world was crashing before my eyes. I had only just recently started looking around for an engagement ring for Camilla. I felt the sting of reality with each word that left her lips.

  “I’ll go get my things from inside and leave now,” she said, leaving on the spot.

  I leaned on her car immediately to stop myself from falling. The world seemed to slow as she exited my house with her belongings. Camilla opened the back seat of the car, dropped her things inside, and proceeded to start the car without sparing a glance. I stood there watching her, unsure how to respond to the shock coursing through my body.

  “Camilla, wait, please,” I managed to let out. She looked at me. All I saw was a face deprived of emotion. The sparkle in her eyes had left and all that remained was a hollow expression.

  “I’ll listen more. I’ll do anything you want, Camilla please just stay,” I cried out.

  She closed her eyes. “Goodbye, Mike,” she said and reversed out of the driveway.

  “Camilla…”

  The driveway I was standing on cracked without warning. The beautiful blue sky turned into a haze of red and the earth began to shake. I tried to find my balance as large cracks began to form beneath my feet. Suddenly, a hand grabbed my leg from a fissure and the earth opened up, its mouth swallowing me whole. I screamed as I began to free fall and tried grabbing a hold of the earth wall that was flying by my face. By some sheer chance of luck, I managed to grasp a ledge that was poking out from the side of the wall, but the rock gave away due to the sudden weight of my falling body. I watched in horror as the section of the rock face connected to the ledge pressed onto my body as I began to freefall once again…

  “…Mike.”

  I groaned. My body felt heavy.

  “Mikey. Hello? Are you alive?”

  I opened my eyes and squinted immediately at the brightness of the day. I couldn’t move my body. Then it hit me.

  “Shawn, why are you on top of me?

  “Well, Mikey, remind me never to grab your leg then stare at your face while you’re asleep. You pulled me on top of you out of nowhere.”

  I laughed and covered my face as Shawn stood up. “Man, this is embarrassing.”

  The dream flashed into my mind again and I groaned. It was about Camilla. It had been three months since she’d broken up with me, and I still hadn’t moved on. We’d been together for two years before she decided to end it with me. I still don’t know why or what I did wrong. Leading up to the break-up, everything between us was going great.

  “By the way,” Shawn said interrupting my thoughts.

  “Yeah?”

  “You scream like a girl,” he grinned and walked out of my room.

  * * *

  I yawned and scratched the back of my head as I walked down the stairs. I had nothing to do these days. I had been so unmotivated to do anything. My heart constantly ached. I missed Camilla every day. My mind was occupied with the good memories of Camilla. From time to time, I would drunk text or call her, hoping she would realise that she had made a mistake leaving me.

  I entered the living room and turned into the kitchen to get breakfast.

  “I can’t remember the last time I was this whipped over a girl,” Austin mocked when he saw me. Shawn snickered beside Austin. I rolled my eyes and ignored them. Since my break-up with Camilla, they had continued to make fun of me for still being hung up on her. I couldn’t blame them. They hadn’t experienced what it was like to be in love.

  Austin, Shawn, and I lived in the same apartment. My eldest brother, Steve, came into the apartment whenever he wanted. He had his own place. I was the third of four children. Shawn was the youngest, while Austin was the second child.

  “You know it’s been a while since you got dumped. You should be over it by now,” Austin said.

  “You’re starting to look pathetic, Mikey,” Shawn teased. He knew how much I hated being called Mikey.

  “You should come back to the gym Mike,” Austin stated.

  My brothers and I ran a gym together. We had been doing so for two years now, and it was a profitable business. I had left the gym when Camilla and I broke up. I wasn’t in the best state of mind to be a life coach. I was sulking almost every day, so Steve kicked me out of the gym and told me to come back whenever I was ready. Shawn and Austin supported him and voted me out of the gym too.

  “The gym will get your mind off…” He trailed off. He couldn’t mention her name. He was probably scared that I would start drooling again or daydreaming like I always did. Hearing her name most times made me think about her more.

  “Austin’s right. I got a call yesterday from a new client. You could handle it. I already have a lot of clients on my plate,” Shawn looked up from his bowl of cereal.

  “I’ll think about it,” I sighed.

  They were right. It had been two months, and I needed a distraction. I was tired of moping around. I knew she wasn’t going to come back to me. Camilla had left me for good. The sooner I realized that, the better. She had made that clear when she left the house. She’d told me she was never coming back, and I wasn’t the one for her.

  “When do I start?” I said, looking between Austin and Shawn.

  “Finally! I thought we might have had to start an intervention on
your behalf. You can start on Monday. Steve would be so happy to see you there,” Shawn smiled.

  “Are you concerned about me, or you just want to push your work to me?” I asked Shawn as I reached for the grapes. Everyone knew how lazy Shawn was.

  “What do you mean?” Shawn gasped dramatically.

  “Yes, I don’t want the extra work, but I’m concerned about you too, so I thought I would be nice and help you out. Can’t you see I’m such a good brother?” Shawn smiled innocently.

  His phone buzzed, stopping me from replying to him. He pulled it out of his pocket and smiled at the caller ID. It had to be a girl. Shawn only smiled that way with a girl.

  “Hey Susie,” he said seductively. I looked at Austin, and we both shook our heads at Shawn. Shawn was the Casanova of the family. I had never seen Shawn with a stable girlfriend. Even in middle school, Shawn was popular with the girls. Too popular.

  “Girl, you know I want to,” he laughed seductively. Austin looked at me and smirked deviously. I knew what that look meant. Each time Shawn was on the phone with a girl, we always tried to ruin it by acting like another girl or our mother.

  “Shawn, baby, I’m waiting for you,” Austin said in a feminine voice. I almost lost it. Shawn groaned and tried to calm the girl on the phone.

  “Ohhh Shawn, you’re so good,” I moaned.

  “No, no, Susie. It’s my brothers. They’re trying to annoy me,” he tried to explain. He got up from the kitchen stool to leave. He flipped us off and ran into his room.

  Austin and I laughed at Shawn. Messing with Shawn never got old.

  “I’m glad you are coming back to the gym,” Austin said when our laughter died down. “Your stomach is starting to get a little flabby, fat boy. I don’t know who would be training who. You or the clients.”

  I threw one of my grapes at him. He easily dodged it.

  “It was just three months,” I defended myself. Austin was right. I was going out of my muscular shape a little.

  “Three months of unhealthy living,” Austin shook his head.

  “I just have to start working out again.”

  “Burn that stomach pouch man,” he said, walking out of the kitchen.

  I was left alone and sighed, hoping that getting back to the gym would get my mind off Camilla. I needed a fresh start.

  Chapter 2 - Downtown

  Lela Olsen

  I walked down the stairs nonchalantly. My dad had called for an urgent family meeting. I knew what this was going to be about. My mum and I had been fighting a lot recently. None of the fights were my fault. I could only blame her. She never listened to me and always blamed me when things went wrong. I arrived in the living room and saw my mum and dad seated on the couch. They had their lips locked and arms around each other.

  I made a face to throw up. My parents were still in love with each other. It was adorable, but I couldn’t let them know.

  “At least respect me,” I scoffed as I took a seat on the couch. They broke their kiss with giggles.

  “Sorry, we didn’t hear you.” My father had a huge smile on his face. His eyes crinkled each time he smiled.

  “How would you over that loud lip-smacking?”

  “It’s kissing,” my mum corrected. I rolled my eyes at her.

  “Tom, did you see that eye roll?” My mother tapped my father. I rolled my eyes on purpose to piss her off more.

  “Dad, why was this meeting called? I have important things to get to other than this meeting.” I eyed my mother cautiously. She eyed me back. I felt my father’s eyes move between both of us.

  “This breaks my heart,” I could hear the sadness in his voice. I broke eye contact with my mum and turned to look at my dad. He looked sad.

  “She always starts it,” I defended myself. My mother always tried to fight me when I minded my business. I couldn’t pinpoint why we started fighting so much, but I was glad I had my apartment and didn’t get to clash with her every day. I was just staying here for the weekend because my father practically begged me to.

  “That’s why we’re doing something together as a family to stop whatever this is,” my father pointed between my mother and me.

  I raised my eyebrow at him. My father had a little smile on his face. Whatever he was planning, I knew I wasn’t going to like it. I wasn’t going to go if it was some family retreat on a remote island.

  “What do you mean doing something?” I squinted my eyes at him.

  “I already picked an activity that you both would love,” my father smiled. I turned to look at my mother. She looked surprised. I could tell she wasn’t aware of my father’s plans either.

  “What are you talking about, Tom?” My mother raised her eyebrow.

  “I registered us for a program at the gym downtown. I know how much you two love working out and keeping fit,” my father grinned at the both of us. The crinkle that formed at the corner of his eyes told me that he was genuinely happy.

  “Gym?” my mother exclaimed.

  “Downtown?” I exclaimed almost immediately.

  “Yes, and yes,” my father replied to us.

  “But Dad, I don’t want to,” I shook my head.

  “I think you should. It would be great.”

  “I’m not going, Tom,” my mother folded her hands across her chest.

  “Please, guys, it would be fun, I promise. At least let’s go there for a day and see how it would be,” my father pleaded.

  I wasn’t ready to spend my time downtown because my dad wanted family time. My father was the only person I knew that planned a family bonding session at the gym.

  “But the gym of all places, Tom,” my mother said. It was like she read my mind.

  “Just one day, and I promise you guys will love it. Plus, Dr. Mande recommended the gym,” my father said.

  Dr. Mande was our family doctor. Dad had been seeing him a lot, and he recommended that my father started exercising. I knew my father needed the exercise, but I didn’t. I always worked out at home.

  “When do we start?” My mother sighed. She had been trying to get my father to live healthily, so she always did whatever bizarre thing Dr. Mande had recommended.

  “Tomorrow.”

  “Tomorrow???” my mother and I both exclaimed.

  “Yeah, Dr. Mande had me booked since Thursday. I just wanted to tell you guys together, so I was waiting for you to come over.”

  “Monday, Dad? That’s not fair.”

  “Not fair at all,” my mother agreed with me.

  “See, you guys already agree on things, and we haven’t even been to the gym yet,” my father beamed. He got up and left the room with a big smile on his face.

  I was only doing this gym thing because of my father. He needed all the support he could get on his healthy living journey. My father used to be overweight, but he had been improving since he almost had a heart attack a month ago.

  “You’d better not be late,” my mother brought me out of my thoughts. I glared at the back of her head as I watched her leave the living room. I wasn’t exactly sure what had caused it, but I could guess they started when we found out about my father’s health.

  “We need a family therapist, not the gym,” I scoffed and walked up to my room to pack my bags. I was leaving to my apartment today.

  * * *

  The sun of a brand-new day shone in my room brightly. I opened my eyes and shut them immediately at the brightness. I wasn’t ready to get up from my bed. I scooted away from the part of my bed that the sun shone on. I heard my phone vibrate beside me on the bed. I groaned and searched around for it without opening my eyes. I wasn’t a morning girl. I hated mornings and liked to sleep in. I was grateful my job didn’t require me to get up early. I was a blogger, so most of my work was indoors.

  The buzzing stopped for a while. My hand finally landed on the phone. I placed the phone on my ears without checking the caller ID.

  “What?” I groaned into the phone.

  “I cannot believe you’re late
after I warned you not to be!” my mother’s voice boomed in my ears. I shot up immediately and rubbed the sleep from the eyes. I removed the phone from my ears and checked the time. I was thirty minutes late for what we had planned at the gym with my father.

  “Oh my! I’ll be there in fifteen minutes!” I hung up immediately. I didn’t want to hear what she was going to say.

  I jumped out of bed and showered as fast as I could. I didn’t wait for my body to dry before quickly slipping into my gym clothes. With no time to pat my body dry, I rushed out the door, my hair still in a messy bun from the night before.