Party of Three

by Sandy Lowe

  It didn’t matter how many times she’d told Dani no, it never seemed to stick, and being put in the position of constantly rejecting her advances was exhausting. It wasn’t like women hit on her all the time, but she felt like shit when she told any of them no. She always wanted to add “It’s not you, it’s me. Please don’t feel bad about yourself.” But she’d learned long ago that it didn’t help. It was the cliché of clichés and it didn’t matter that it was true. The problem was that the it’s-me-not-you excuse lacked credibility. Avery dated other people. Other not-like-Dani-at-all people. She escorted women to benefits, parties, restaurants. She kissed them; she even slept with a few, when it’d been so long her body craved the feel of skin against skin.

  “Think of the children,” Dani went on, “so sweet, so fragile. If that doesn’t convince you, think of me in the little black Valentino I bought yesterday. I have lingerie to match. I guarantee you’ll never be able to resist me again.” Flawlessly adept in social situations, Dani smoothed away any awkwardness by waggling her perfectly arched eyebrows. A gesture that wouldn’t have been out of place on Avery’s eighty-seven-year-old grandpa and looked downright ridiculous on Dani.

  She couldn’t help but laugh. “How could I possibly resist after that?”

  “I have no idea.” Dani’s deadpan delivery almost concealed the seriousness of her response.

  “Count me in for two seats. I’d love to gift them to my mother and Richard.”

  Dani pouted, clearly annoyed Avery hadn’t taken the bait. “Come on, it’s just one night. I know you’re not dating anyone right now. Why not have some fun?”

  Things with Dani were the kind of complicated that settled comfortably into moral gray space, sneaking in between the black of what you knew was very wrong and the shining white of being a good and decent person. Avery always aimed for good, and always came up short. Dating Dani would be wrong, but turning her down, breaking her heart one crack at a time. Was that the right thing?

  Not used to taking no for an answer in anything in life, Dani took Avery’s refusal as a personal mission to persuade her otherwise. Avery wasn’t bothered by the innate arrogance that made Dani think no one would possibly refuse her. She’d grown up on the Upper East Side, after all. Arrogance was as common as snow in January. No, what bothered her was the way Dani just never let it go, her insistence on knowing if Avery’s decision wasn’t about Dani specifically, then why didn’t Avery want to date her? And just like the one who’d asked before her, Avery couldn’t bring herself to tell the truth. Only Sarah and Kaitlyn knew the whole story.

  Dani put her glass on the bar and her shoulders fell a little. “I toured the hospital last week, spoke to the chairman. Those poor kids. Some of them have been in the hospital half their lives and their parents visit on weekends because they can’t afford to live in the city, can’t afford not to work. Can you imagine?”

  Oh, the irony. If Avery’d liked Dani less, she’d have been happy to take her out. She’d have made Dani one of the girls on her arm at a party, one of the faceless bodies she used to assuage the loneliness that sometimes crept up on her like an intruder in the night. But Avery actually liked her. Maybe not in the this-could-be-our-engagement-party-one-day way that Dani hoped, but still. Dani was as comfortable in this silver spoon world as Avery was in a pair of old socks, and she used her time and influence for good. She could’ve spent her days shopping at Barney’s and getting pedicures, but instead she was touring a children’s hospital and looking to help. Avery respected that.

  So, yeah. Complicated. Avery didn’t know how to tell her that what she wanted was for Dani not to be Dani. She didn’t want nice and kind and charitable. If Dani wasn’t everything Avery knew she should want in a woman, then she could take her out because it was more convenient than going alone, kiss her because it was expected, sleep with her because her body needed to come even if her mind had shut down. She wanted a woman who didn’t really want her, so she wouldn’t have to feel bad about feeling nothing.

  Avery wasn’t ever going to be able to give Dani what she deserved. Her heart was a stubborn, unreasonable bastard.

  Dani tapped her lightly on the nose. “Did I lose you?”

  Avery blinked. “We’re so lucky to be so fortunate, I try to never forget to be grateful.” She set her glass on the bar. It was still half full. Her alcoholic mother had taught her the don’t get falling down drunk life rule the hard way. How long had she been sitting here? Almost an hour? Avery bargained with her inner sense of duty. She’d stay one more hour, make sure she caught up with Elle, and then get the hell out of here. Maybe, if she was lucky, she wouldn’t see the rest of Elle’s family. After dreading this night all week, she might actually escape unscathed. It was a plan. It could work, right?

  And, as if by magic, Elle appeared at Dani’s side. “Are you two having fun?”

  Avery smiled. “Happy birthday. Good God. You look amazing.”

  And she did. Her hair was piled on top of her head in a complicated-looking updo, and the strapless emerald dress left her tan shoulders bare. The dress was more of a gown really, the skirt billowing out from the fitted bodice in shimmering layers of material that Avery guessed might be silk, but what the hell did she know about dresses? When you put it all together it was a bit too Disney princess for Avery’s taste, but it was so completely Elle.

  Elle blushed prettily. “Thanks. I had it designed. It’s a Frederik original.”

  Dani saluted her with her glass. “Nice. It’s a beautiful dress for a beautiful woman.”

  “Oh please. Look at you, you get skinnier every time I see you. That’s so annoying. Skinny friends are just bad for my ego.” Elle stopped a passing waiter to sample brie arranged atop a bone thin cracker.

  “I’ve lost ten pounds on the South Beach diet.” Dani looked at Elle’s cracker the way an organic-only, gluten-free vegan looks at a cheeseburger. With lust in her eyes.

  “Mmm,” Elle responded, deliberately licking her lips. “This is amazing.”

  “Bitch.” Dani took another sip of her wine. “You used to be nice.”

  “You used to be a size six.” Elle grinned and they both dissolved into giggles.

  Somewhere between Elle picking up the cracker and Dani calling her a bitch Avery had missed the joke. Girls like Elle and Dani communicated in a language that sounded like English but made absolutely no sense to her. If Dani had called her beautiful, Avery would’ve taken it as an expression of interest. But when she said it to Elle it was so obviously a friendly compliment, Elle hadn’t even blinked. How did you tell the difference?

  “So, what were you talking about before I rudely interrupted?” Elle asked.

  Dani gave an exaggerated sigh. “I was trying to convince Avery to go to the St. Peter’s charity dinner with me next month. But you know how she is. Stubborn as an ox and determined to thwart me.”

  Elle made a tut-tut sound in the back of her throat and turned on her. “Don’t you dare take one of your brainless skanks to that dinner. Why not go with Dani? You could do a lot worse. You do do a lot worse.”

  Avery felt her shoulders start to bunch up around her ears and ordered herself not to lose her temper. Brainless skank was a favorite term of Elle’s, and that she’d once used it on Sarah made it particularly distasteful. “I’m very happy with my choice of partners, thanks. I wasn’t planning on attending. I was just telling Dani I’d purchase tickets for Mom.”

  Elle rolled her eyes.

  As if sensing the rising tension, Dani rose. “You’re a good person, Avery. So good you’re going to dance with me. I love this song, and I’m going to let loose and have some fun. Now take me out there and show me off. Let’s make every woman in the room wish they were you and line up to take your place.”

  Avery didn’t respond for a few seconds, racking her brain for a sensible reason to decline. When she didn’t immediately come up with one, she offered her hand. She couldn’t refuse Dani the opportunity to find someone else on who
m to bestow her attention. “Okay then. Let’s dance.” She could feel Elle’s eyes burning a hole in her back all the way to the dance floor.

  They swayed to a piece Avery remembered vaguely from Swan Lake, their feet moving to the rise and fall of the music as if they’d been born dancing together. In reality, they’d both been forced to take years of dance lessons in preparation for moments exactly like these. For Manhattan’s elite, socializing was a sport one trained for from birth.

  Avery closed her eyes and let her mind drift. Dani’s hands had moved all the way to her hips before Avery registered a difference. The music changed, the classical melting into the soft crooning of Sinatra. The beat grew sensual, thrumming around them as couples paired up to slow dance. The lights dimmed just a little and Dani breathed into her ear, “Don’t go.”

  “Dani, I—”

  Dani slid closer, closing the respectable distance between them, bringing their bodies together, threading her arms around Avery’s neck. “Please. It feels good to dance. Doesn’t it feel good?”

  Did it? Avery couldn’t tell anymore, but leaving Dani alone in the middle of the dance floor in the middle of a song wasn’t an option. Neither was hurting her feelings. “Of course, just one more dance.” She closed her eyes again, but the feel of Dani’s body against hers, Dani’s breasts pressed lightly against her shirt started to feel good, little tingles of heat shooting out from the places where they touched. Avery opened her eyes and tried to shake it off.

  She caught a flash of gold over Dani’s shoulder and the whole world stopped. Even before she took her next breath, before she’d fully focused on the woman who was watching them intently, her body had tensed. Before her brain remembered and her senses sharpened, her heart just knew. Would always know.

  Spencer.

  Chapter Nine

  All Roads Lead to Threesomes

  Time ground to a halt and hung there, heavy and expectant, reality suspended for the heart-stopping second when eyes the color of faded denim met hers.

  Spencer.

  Then as quickly as it had receded, the world came rushing back. Stronger, sharper, clearer. Sounds louder, colors brighter, her senses attuned to every nuance around her. She felt the moment in a way she didn’t even know she’d been missing until it came crashing back.

  Spencer.

  Avery would be able to find her face in a crowd of millions. Tens of millions. Her heart had beat to the rhythm of this woman for longer than she would admit. And despite herself, despite the years of frustration she smiled.

  It was always Spencer.

  When Spencer didn’t return her smile, Avery felt hers fall. Spencer looked upset. No, she looked annoyed. More than annoyed, she looked pissed. The music eased to a finish and Avery stepped back, not giving Dani a chance to protest. “Thank you. I see Claire Presley headed our way. I think your plan worked.”

  Dani didn’t look thrilled to be passed to the closest possible alternative, but all Avery could think about was Spencer. She was back. She was here. Of course, Avery had known she would be, but right now she couldn’t remember why seeing Spencer again could possibly be a bad thing. All she wanted was to be close to her, to touch her, to… God, she wanted. Wanting Spencer had been the epicenter of her life for seven years.

  She should probably circle the room so as not to make her beeline to Spencer so obvious, but she didn’t have it in her. It had been too long. She’d missed her desperately and wanted to drink her in, savor her like vintage wine.

  “Hi.” Avery stepped up beside Spencer, badly wanting to take her hand. She didn’t. She’d wait for Spencer to initiate contact.

  “Hello, Avery. Nice to see you again.”

  To her absolute horror, Avery felt herself grow wet at the sound of Spencer’s voice. A hint of chimes on a summer breeze. Light and sweet and innocent. And so sinfully erotic a pulse began to beat between her thighs. She’d thought about that voice and imagined all the sweet and sexy things fantasy-Spencer would say to her when they saw each other again. Twelve long months of torment. And now Spencer was so close Avery’s fingers trembled with desire. Hell. This could not be happening.

  Act normal. You can do it. Just say something that isn’t “You make me so wet.”

  “That’s a bit formal, isn’t it?” Avery said. “What happened to the teenager who used to throw her arms around me in a bear hug at every possible opportunity?” She poked Spencer playfully in the ribs. She was always playful. Careful to keep just the right amount of teasing in her voice, terrified Spencer would discover how she truly felt.

  Spencer just rolled her eyes, but she slid her arms around Avery and hugged her. “I’m not a teenager anymore.”

  The flames that had simmered during her dance with Dani leapt to life when Spencer drew close. Avery wanted the moment to last forever so much that she forced herself to step back.

  Spencer had always been beautiful, but a year away had chiseled her softer edges into strong lines. The woman standing in front of Avery was simply stunning in a deceptively plain burgundy gown that poured like honey over every curve and highlighted her long, straight corn silk hair. Her eyes were outlined in dramatic eyeliner, making the blue of her irises even more startling. Even the way she held herself was different; the year abroad had given her a confidence she’d struggled to form under the overbearing influence of her family. She’d grown into herself and it looked good on her.

  When Spencer held her gaze, Avery couldn’t have looked away if dancing warthogs cartwheeled into the ballroom. “Do you like what you see?” The corner of Spencer’s mouth tipped up.

  Avery gulped. Jesus. Was she being totally obvious? She was usually a better actor. Not able to tell Spencer the truth but unwilling to brush off the question, Avery replied, “You’ve changed. It’s so good to see you again. How was Norway?”

  There. A safe topic. Avery took a slow breath, ordered her heart to stop pounding and her body to relax. She’d had plenty of experience hiding her feelings for Spencer. This was no different; she just had to get used to it again.

  “Amazing and scary at the same time. Do you know what I mean? God. We’re so isolated in the city. We have no idea what’s out there in the world, other cultures, ways of life, smaller bank balances.” Spencer smiled, and as much as Avery had missed her, she was happy Spencer had taken a gap year after college to experience the world.

  “What’s next on the agenda? Do you think you’ll go back?”

  Spencer shook her head and took a sip from her wineglass, pausing to consider her answer. “I’m applying for a position in a graduate psychology program at NYU. Actually, I really hope I get it. It’s the only specialty specific program in the country.”

  “What specialty?” Avery asked, distracted by the way the sip of wine had wet Spencer’s bottom lip so it glistened.

  “Sex therapy,” Spencer answered mildly.

  Avery stopped breathing. Whatever miracle kept her standing, it wasn’t oxygen. “What?”

  Spencer’s nose crinkled. “It’s therapy designed to assist couples and singles with sexual issues that may impede their desire or sexual functioning.”

  Avery coughed. She swallowed hard, wishing she hadn’t left her drink on the bar. “I know what sex therapy is. Is that really what you want to do?”

  “Is there something wrong with it?” Spencer frowned.

  “No, of course not. I’m just surprised.”

  And intrigued.

  And aroused.

  “You’re really going to grad school to study sex?” Avery tried to picture it and went weak at the knees. Spencer would be thinking about sex all day. The why and how and where of sex. She’d probably study erogenous zones, and sex toys, and porn. Did sex therapists study porn? Avery had no idea, but suddenly it seemed vital to find out.

  Spencer laughed. “Don’t try to convince me you’re all prim and proper these days. Not when you were just dirty dancing with Daniella Rosenberger for the whole world to see.”

  Huh?
It took Avery a few seconds to drag her mind away from the mental image of Spencer sprawled across her bed, erotic images scrolling on the screen opposite, an unopened textbook on the nightstand. Spencer’s blond hair would look amazing against her navy sheets, her soft skin the perfect contrast. Would it flush pink when she was aroused?

  Spencer waved a hand in front of her face.

  Avery shook her head. “I was not.”

  Spencer gave her a don’t-bullshit-me look, completely unaware of where her mind had just been. “Her hands were practically on your ass and you were so close syrup wouldn’t have slid between you.”

  “Syrup?”

  “What’s wrong with syrup? It’s slidey.”

  “It is,” Avery agreed, unsure how to respond. Had she been dirty dancing? She didn’t think so, but she couldn’t deny the slight thrill being so close to Dani had given her. Realizing Spencer had noticed made her a little sick. Avery rubbed a hand over her face, suddenly more tired than she could remember being in years. “I guess I might have been. I didn’t intend to. Dani is persuasive.”

  Spencer snorted. “That’s one word for it.”

  “There’s another?”

  “I’d say it was more like she got her claws in you and planned to eat you for supper.”

  “Dani’s just being Dani.” Avery shrugged it off.

  That expression of annoyance flickered over Spencer’s face again. “Have I mentioned lately you’re a dumbass sometimes?”

  Was there a right way to respond to a question like that? “Uh, not recently.”

  “She wants to sleep with you. You know this.” Spencer’s tone was flat.

  Avery nodded. No point denying the obvious.

  “And you’re not willing to accommodate her for reasons of your own. I know, or you would have slept with her already, and Ellie would have told me.”