Party of Three

by Sandy Lowe

  “Sure, it isn’t. Maybe it’s exactly what I deserve. You get to do to me what I did to you. Walk away. Go back to the party and find your friends. But this time it’s you who’s leaving. You’re the one who won’t let me in.” Beck let her head fall back against the headrest, not looking at Kaitlyn any longer.

  No. The word expanded in her throat, caught there like a square plug in a round hole. It was exactly what she’d thought she’d wanted. Revenge. To make Beck hurt. To pay her back. But now that she had it, it was coal in the bottom of her stocking.

  “No,” Kaitlyn said, out loud this time.

  “No, what?”

  “I’m not walking away.” Not when I love you so much I can’t breathe.

  “Then tell me you want this. Tell me you love me too.”

  “I’m scared.”

  “Why?” Beck kissed her slow and soft. Tasting. Inviting. Showing her how it could be between them. All the things she’d be turning down if she couldn’t let go of the past.

  Kaitlyn sagged. She rested her forehead against Beck’s. The tight space of the car, the way she was crammed up against Beck’s chest, it should’ve been uncomfortable, but rather than making her claustrophobic, she felt safe. Like this moment was wrapped in time. Just theirs. The world outside didn’t exist, and there was only her and Beck, and this connection that never seemed to break no matter what they did to stretch it.

  Kaitlyn wanted to believe her, wanted to forgive her. She wanted everything that Beck wanted. She should be jumping for joy right now. They should be having fantastic makeup sex. Picking out baby names. Snort-laughing over all the dumb things they thought were so cool in high school. But she couldn’t get past herself, and for the first time, she understood that it wasn’t Beck, it wasn’t just the past that was keeping them apart. It was her and all the walls she’d built. All the bubble wrap and sticky tape she’d wound around herself from the age of ten to survive in a world where you lost the people you counted on the most. Where nothing and no one was a guarantee. Where you had to find a way to live in the aftermath of loss. To live with the absence of love. To be the one who was left behind.

  “Everyone leaves.” Two words that defined her life. Her motto. Her oh-so-cheery catchphrase. Print it on a bumper sticker and never leave home without it because it was the truest statement she’d ever known.

  “Sometimes people come back,” Beck said.

  Kaitlyn shrugged. “You’d be the first. Nothing can bring Mom back. Nothing can change how I felt when you left. How I feel now that Sarah and Avery seem to be paired up and happy. They’ll leave too, eventually. They’ll all move on. But I’ll still be here. After everyone has left, I’ll still need to survive. If I forgive you, if I let you back in, I won’t survive if you leave again. I won’t be able to bear it.”

  “I’m here. I’m never leaving again. I’m yours.” Beck’s lips brushed her hair, trailed down her cheek, nipped at her earlobe. “Trust me, honey. I promise I won’t let you down again.” Beck brushed back a loose curl of hair and kissed the special spot right behind her ear, the one that only she knew, the one they’d discovered together. Hers.

  Kaitlyn’s walls crumbled.

  The bubble wrap popped.

  The hurt healed.

  “God,” Kaitlyn whispered.

  Beck’s fingers were on the zipper of her dress, her lips all over Kaitlyn’s neck. Kaitlyn’s bones melted together like Popsicles in the sun. Beck eased her dress down and kissed the tops of her breasts that were spilling over her bra. “Tell me you forgive me.” Beck’s voice was full and throaty.

  “Or you’ll what, Delmar?” Kaitlyn was breathless.

  “Or I won’t let you come for hours.”

  Kaitlyn laughed. “I’m not sure who that would be worse punishment for, you or me.”

  “Oh, definitely me. But I’d do it to convince you I’m yours. I’m here. I love you.”

  Kaitlyn sucked in a ragged breath. She let everything go and sank into the moment. “I forgive you. I love you back. Forever.”

  “Thank God. I promise you won’t regret it.”

  Kaitlyn’s skin went goosebumpy. Happiness flowed in her veins, washing out the last seeds of doubt. Beck was hers. Beck loved her. Like, really, really loved her. They’d make this work. For forever.

  But first, they had work to do.

  Kaitlyn gathered Beck’s shirt in her fists and yanked until she’d pulled it free. Making quick work of the buttons, she tore it open and palmed Beck’s warm skin. Beck’s mouth went to her neck, her shoulder, her breasts, and Kaitlyn moaned. It felt so good to be touched again. She released the button on Beck’s pants. She needed skin on skin. They kissed and fumbled, hands and mouths everywhere.

  “Do you remember the last time we did this?” Beck asked.

  The sound of Kaitlyn tugging down Beck’s zipper cut the air. “The last time we had sex?”

  Kaitlyn knew every detail. She could fill out a police report with the specificity to which the slide of Beck’s skin on hers was ingrained in her head.

  Beck shook her head. “The last time we were all over each other in the back seat of a car.”

  Kaitlyn paused. Then it came to her. “The Lexus your dad bought you when you first got your license.” She laughed. “I’m pretty sure we used it half the time for driving and the other half as a convenient place to make out.”

  “Mm, those were some prime makeout sessions.” Beck wrapped her arms around Kaitlyn and pressed flush against her.

  Kaitlyn’s eyes clicked shut, all her senses sinking into lusty quicksand. This was what she wanted. What she’d always needed. Beck’s skin on hers, Beck’s hands stroking her, Beck’s touch making her melt. But she had no time to process it with Beck kissing her again. Fucking with her mouth, that’s what she was doing. Long, deep strokes and hot, quick nips and thrusts. Kaitlyn rocked against her, the soft skin of her belly meeting the open fly of Beck’s pants. Kaitlyn wanted to meld with her, freaking climb inside her until they were one and the same. As close as close could be.

  “Take off your pants,” Kaitlyn said.

  “Giving me orders now?” Beck whispered in her ear.

  “I can’t stand anything between us. Please.” She was desperate for Beck. Desperate to fill the places inside herself that’d been reserved for Beck the moment they’d fallen in love. Places that’d been empty for too long.

  They fumbled, slid, yanked, and tugged their clothes into a scattered jumble. “Tell me what you want,” Beck said.

  Everything was running together in her mind. She and Beck were together again. Together-together. They were going to do it like horny teenagers in the back seat of her dad’s car. She was so turned on she couldn’t stand it. So much had happened that the night had an air of unreality. She needed something to ground her.

  Something real.

  Something hers.

  Something theirs.

  Kaitlyn levered up onto her knees and pressed her center to Beck’s stomach. Her groan slid out through clenched teeth. Sososo good. “You know what I want, Delmar?”

  “What?” Beck cupped her ass, pulling her tighter, making her head fall back.

  “I want you on top.”

  Beck’s fingers tightened on her ass. “That’s a request I’m happy to grant.”

  She flipped their positions so smoothly Kaitlyn made a mental note to marvel later. She was pinned under her, her wrists clamped together in Beck’s bigger, stronger hand. She whimpered into Beck’s mouth. Please. Please. Please. She was so close to flying off into a million pieces that Beck’s slow and patient approach made her want to scream.

  “Always in such a hurry.” Beck circled Kaitlyn’s nipple with her tongue. Bit down.

  “It’s been a while.” Kaitlyn’s teeth were gritted so hard she was afraid her jaw would lock.

  “Long fucking years. Now stop squirming and enjoy it, or I’m going to have to make you.”

  Kaitlyn snorted. Ignored the hot rush of ohmygodyes that i
ncited. Tied up. Unable to move. Helpless. Beck would be able to do anything she wanted. Kaitlyn would have to take it. Who cared why exactly that pushed every button she had. “There’s nothing to tie me up with in here, and no room.”

  Beck shifted her weight, forcing Kaitlyn’s breath out of her for a quick, delicious second. “You think I need ropes and room to make you submit? You’ve forgotten who you’re dealing with.”

  Kaitlyn literally couldn’t move an inch. Her heart was going to put a dent in her chest it was beating so hard. She struggled, luxuriating in the way their skin slid together. “You think you can just do whatever you want because you’re bigger and stronger, Delmar? Do you know who I am? I could buy you and everyone you know a thousand times, and still have money left over.”

  Beck wedged a hand between them and found her clit. “Nice try, honey. We both know your money means shit right now. This,” Beck ran a deft finger round her clit, “is all that matters.”

  A tiny part of Kaitlyn’s brain, a very small part right in the back, cheered. Her money, her job, her status, it really didn’t matter. Not anymore. The thought splintered as Beck began to stroke her with maddeningly gentle fingers. Kaitlyn moaned. Her body lit up like a birthday candle. Beck’s gaze, pure lustful hunger, ate her up. Beck looked like she wanted to fuck her into oblivion and Kaitlyn couldn’t think of anything she wanted more. “Please.”

  “Please, what?” Beck dipped a finger inside her, and everything clenched and tightened.

  “Please,” Kaitlyn said again, her hips pinned beneath Beck but struggling to rise all the same.

  “So shy.” Beck slid her finger out, then back in. In and out, torturously slow, maddeningly precise. “I love that you can’t say the words. You can’t tell me you want me to fuck you, can you? You can’t tell me how wet this is making you, how you love my weight on top of you, how you like to struggle under me even though we both know you’d never win. That you’d never want to.”

  Pleasure climbed up Kaitlyn’s spine, made her toes curl. The dirty words a soundtrack to her desire, edging her higher. Blood rushed to her head. Her ears buzzed. Her mind blurred at the edges. Those patient, clever fingers never let up. Stroking her clit, sliding in and out. “Please.”

  Beck laughed. “So shy.”

  She added a finger, curled them in just the perfect way, and thrust back into her, harder this time. Not stopping. Not letting up. Fucking her. Overwhelming her. The thrust of Beck’s fingers, her palm pressing against her clit, her weight all but crushing her, it all wound tighter and tighter inside her. Around, and around, and around. All she knew was Beck. Coming back for her. Loving her. Giving her just exactly what she needed.

  The orgasm slammed into her, hard and unrelenting. So much. Too much. She was coming. She was flying. She was falling.

  Beck hugged her. “Shh. I’ve got you, honey. I’ve got you. Ride it out.”

  Beck stroked her hair, the curve of her back, down the length of her arm. Soothing, caressing. Her heartbeat finally slowed from Ironman marathon to gentle stroll in the park. She was more than naked. Coming in Beck’s arms, beneath her, held in place by her, she was exposed in a way that went deeper than skin. Beck knew everything there was to know about her, had seen the best and the worst of her, and she wasn’t afraid. Tonight was the first time all over again. Their fresh start.

  “Get off me, you brute,” Kaitlyn mumbled, almost too swirly, and floaty, and postorgasmic to speak.

  “You’re so beautiful,” Beck said.

  “Mm.” Kaitlyn shoved her. “Off.”

  Beck rolled off her, and Kaitlyn struggled to pull her noodle bones into a sitting position. “Pretty good, Delmar.”

  Beck swatted her on the arm. “Smartass. I was phenomenal. You went off like a rocket and you know it.”

  Kaitlyn snorted. “Pretty sure of yourself.”

  Beck kissed Kaitlyn gently on the forehead. “Pretty sure of us.”

  Us. Two letters that felt so good she wanted them tattooed on her skin. Us. Them. Hers. Forever.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Woman On Top

  “Can I touch you?” Kaitlyn asked, snuggled half in Beck’s lap, their legs entwined under the space blanket Beck had found in the emergency kit stashed in the side door pocket.

  “You don’t have to ask.” Beck brushed her lips against Kaitlyn’s hair, an unconscious gesture that spoke of companionship, of togetherness and obstacles overcome. They might’ve spent the last half dozen years apart, but they’d come back together like no time had passed. Like love had been waiting with outstretched arms and an all-access pass for them to pick it back up again.

  Kaitlyn pressed her lips to Beck’s ear. “I want you on top.”

  Beck ginned. “Didn’t we just do that?”

  “You’re a smart woman, you’ll figure it out.” Kaitlyn smiled up into toasty brown eyes that for the first time tonight seemed content. Light, and sure, and sparkling.

  She loved that she could make Beck happy in this simple way. Sex was awesome. The necessity of all necessities, as far as she was concerned. Nothing said I love you quite like a heart pounding, can’t breathe, don’t ever want to stop, turn your brain to soup, orgasm. But happiness, the kind of quiet uncluttered contentment that came after, was even better. Nothing could be more satisfying than being the one who mattered, and Kaitlyn felt it from the top of her head all the way to her toes. This time, they’d make it.

  Beck’s mouth quirked. “You know what, you’re right.”

  She whipped the blanket off them so fast Kaitlyn squealed. “Cold!”

  “You can throw it over yourself again in a minute. Lie down on the seat.”

  “Don’t you need room?” Kaitlyn asked. “We really should’ve found a more comfortable place to do this.”

  Beck poked a finger at her. “Are you going to trust me to figure it out or not? Lie down. Plus, I like it here. Reminds me of the time I fast-talked you to second base in the back seat of the Lexus.”

  “You did too,” Kaitlyn said, the memory surfacing. “I seem to remember I wanted to wait for…Why did I want to wait, again?”

  “No idea.” Beck grinned at her.

  “If I’d known then how good sex was, I’d have given everything up on the first date.”

  “And deny me the thrill of the chase? That’s half the fun.”

  “Going to get bored now that you’ve caught me?” Kaitlyn asked.

  “Hell, if things get stale, I’ll just have Eleanor kiss you. Spice it up a bit. Seems to work for Sarah.”

  Kaitlyn exaggerated a frown. “Don’t even think about it, Delmar.”

  Beck touched her cheek. “Oh, I’m definitely thinking about it. But that one’s for the lonely nights fantasy bank, not real life. I hate to share what’s mine.”

  Mine. The word was archaic. Anti-feminist. Possessive. Domineering. Over the top. It lit her up like sunrise after endless night. Hers.

  “No lonely nights for either of us anymore.” Kaitlyn lay down on the seat as Beck instructed.

  When Beck threw a leg over her and settled directly above her mouth, Kaitlyn’s stomach dropped as if she were barreling down a death-defying incline on the world’s fastest roller coaster. God. Okay, yeah. This was Beck on top, all right. An endless expanse of smooth skin. Beck’s small, perfectly shaped breasts were mouthwatering at this angle. Her stomach tapering to hips that flared just a little. Strong thighs holding Beck up, and her center an inch from Kaitlyn’s lips. So close and so delicious looking that she couldn’t help but swipe her tongue over Beck’s folds.

  Beck jerked. “Fuck.”

  “Mm. What’s that you said about going off like a rocket?” Kaitlyn licked her again. “I think you like making me come, Delmar. You’re all wet.”

  “You have no idea.” Beck slid a hand under her neck, stroked her nape. “Ever done it like this?”

  Kaitlyn winced. The sexy answer would be no. The last thing she wanted was to bring up past sexual encounters, but she co
uldn’t lie. “This would be my first time with you.”

  Beck laughed. “How diplomatic. You must be a socialite.”

  Kaitlyn pinched her on the thigh. “I’ll have you know I’m the CEO of one of the biggest nonprofits on the East Coast.”

  “And the difference is?” Beck grinned at her.

  Kaitlyn rolled her eyes. “You’re an ass.”

  “Right now, I’m a bit preoccupied with another part of my anatomy.” Beck tilted Kaitlyn’s neck to position her exactly how she wanted. Kaitlyn might be the one about to wrap her lips around Beck’s clit, but Beck was completely in control of the pace. It was oddly reassuring.

  “I love you, you know,” Kaitlyn said right before she used her tongue to trace every inch of Beck’s center.

  Oh God. She had more than a few unforgettable memories of Beck in her own fantasy bank, but memory didn’t do justice to the real deal. Beck was wet, and soft, and tasted heavenly. Kaitlyn couldn’t imagine needing anything in life as much as she needed Beck to explode all wet and messy over her face. The need went bone-deep, more a part of her than any career ambition or bank account would ever be. This is what mattered. This is what she needed.

  She was going to show her woman where home and happiness really was.

  She raised her hands to Beck’s hips and pulled her down firmly, unwilling to be separated from her by even an inch. Beck groaned, and even though Kaitlyn could no longer see her, Beck’s thighs tensed and her breath came in harsh pants. Kaitlyn thrust her tongue inside, grasping Beck’s hips to encourage her to ride her face. She thrust her tongue in and out as Beck writhed on top of her, painting her face from nose to chin.

  The faster Beck panted, the faster Kaitlyn’s pulse raced, like they were equally matched in a race and determined to outdo each other. She slid her hands to Beck’s ass and squeezed, the muscles there firm and tight, her skin baby smooth. Kaitlyn whimpered. A UFO could’ve landed on the roof of the car, aliens invading earth to use up what was left of its natural resources, human life a negligible sacrifice. She could be whisked away to Saturn to live out her days in servitude to a green-skinned alien prince, and she wouldn’t have cared as long as she could make Beck come first. The world outside this car, outside the sphere of Beck’s body against hers, failed to matter.