The Machine

by Stephanie Julian

  She hated feeling like she was reeling. She’d spent so much of the past few years feeling like everything around her was moving forward and she was running ten feet behind, playing catch-up at every turn.

  Behind her, she heard Jake sigh very, very quietly, then his chair scraped across the floor and he walked over.

  She noticed that he’d cleaned his plate. And couldn’t help but smile. She had no idea why.

  Sucking in a breath, she opened her mouth to say something, anything, but he beat her to it.

  “I didn’t mean to upset you.” The true regret she heard in his voice made her head snap up to look at him. “I know nothing about your relationship with your mother and I overstepped a boundary.”

  Their gazes caught and held and the corners of her mouth curved up in a quick, wry grin.

  “You know, you’re a pretty shitty liar.”

  For a second, she wondered if she’d offended him. His expression didn’t change, and he straightened to his full height, which was, she had to admit, pretty impressive.

  And then his own lips twitched and he shrugged.

  “I know.” He shrugged. “Is difficult to keep lies straight. Better to tell truth. Saves time. I am sorry if I upset you. That I do not want to do.”

  She nodded, turning to put his plate in the dishwasher while he leaned back against the counter.

  “I am not wrong, am I? Your mom has space issues, yes?”

  Faith nodded. “I guess when your daughter almost dies, you get a little clingy.”

  “Understandable. But you need to live your life without having to make sure your mom is not watching over your shoulder.”

  She didn’t have to think about that before nodding in agreement. He was right. Of course, he was right. Her relationship with her mom had been altered because of the accident, and now it was up to her to fix it.

  But she didn’t want to talk about that anymore.

  Holding out her hand, she waited until he took it, then she tugged him toward the living area, stopping by the table to grab the box with the desserts and a couple of forks.

  Settling onto the couch, she thought about last night and of where they’d ended up after starting here.

  And she wanted to end up where they had last night. But first…

  “Sooo, the Colonials are playing or we can watch a movie. There’s this sci-fi action movie with a romance I’ve been wanting to watch.”

  Sitting beside her, he took the fork she held out to him and opened the box, digging into the chocolate cake and lifting it to her lips. When she opened, he slipped it inside her mouth and watched her lips close around his fork.

  His gaze intensified as he pulled the fork out, her eyes locked on his.

  “To be truthful, I prefer hockey. But watch whatever you want because I will only be watching you.”

  *****

  The woman standing in the open doorway to her apartment had a look on her face that made Jake grin.

  One hand on the door, the other on her hip, Faith tried to hold a scowl but he saw the amusement behind it.

  “If you don’t stop feeding me, I’m going to gain a hundred pounds and then I will hate you. I don’t burn thousands of calories a day like you. I sit behind a desk .”

  Walking into Faith’s apartment Thursday night, Jake stole a hard kiss before walking across the apartment to the dining table.

  “You will not hate me. You need to eat. I need to eat. It makes sense we eat together.”

  Besides, he did not want to be anywhere else tonight. Tomorrow night’s game had started to fuck with his brain and he needed to get out of his head.

  Faith was the only person who could get him to think of anything other than hockey. And he needed that right now.

  Hearing her close the door behind him, he listened as she crossed the room to him. Turning with a grin, he set the food on the table then sat on the nearest chair and drew her onto his lap. He took care not to twist her in any way that could hurt her.

  Her smile widened as she wound her arms around his neck and put her lips over his. He loved the way she took what she wanted and demanded more from him. He would give her anything she wanted.

  When she finally pulled away after a long, deep kiss, her hands were in his hair and neither of them could catch their breath.

  After a few seconds, she snuggled closer and rested her forehead against his cheek.

  “Shouldn’t you be resting for your game tomorrow? Not encouraging me to do bad things to you.”

  “No. Now tell me about these bad things you want to do to me.”

  “You’re really bossy. You know that, right?”

  “You like this about me.”

  She sighed, her breath whispering against the skin of his neck and making his cock stiffen in his jeans. His hands tightened around her waist, pulling her even closer.

  “You’re right. I don’t know why, but you are. I wasn’t expecting you tonight but I’m glad you’re here.”

  “I wasn’t sure you would be home. I am glad you are.”

  “Where else would I be?” She drew back to smile at him. “There’s no game tonight.”

  “You will be at the game tomorrow.”

  He didn’t ask a question. It was a statement. If the past three days he’d spent with her had taught him anything, it was that he knew he wanted her to have a permanent place in his life. He just had to make sure she came to the same conclusion.

  But if events worked in his favor, he may not have much more time here in Reading before he got called down to the Colonials. It was what he’d been working toward and it was almost in his grasp.

  Of course, life had thrown him a curveball. A curveball named Faith.

  “I’ll be there. Are you nervous? You haven’t really talked about it, about the other coach being there tomorrow night. Are you worried?”

  “Somewhat. I don’t want to miss this opportunity. I know it will not be my last but I am ready for this to happen now.” He took a breath and figured what the hell. Might as well make all of his declarations and get them out of the way. “Just as I am ready to make you realize that I am not just playing around with you. I want you in my life, no matter what happens tomorrow night.”

  He saw so many emotions run through her expression, he couldn’t decipher them all. But he recognized at least two.

  Hope and fear.

  “Maybe we should have this discussion Saturday.”

  “Why do you not want to talk about this now?”

  “We’ve been dating less than a week. That’s not how a real relationship happens. It takes months to build a strong foundation.”

  “Since I have been here, I have learned the Amish can build a barn in a day that will stand for centuries.”

  She blinked at him, her smile growing until finally she laughed aloud. Her head fell back and she laughed so hard, she couldn’t breathe and had to pull her head back up so she could.

  He waited until she opened her mouth to speak then he swooped in and kissed her again. This time, he held nothing back. He put every ounce of longing he had for her in his kiss.

  She returned his longing with more of her own, her body turning almost liquid beneath his hands.

  Stroking his hands up and down her body, he felt her flow into his hands, warm and soft and his.

  His to touch, caress, kiss.

  And then her phone rang. The sound was muffled, as if it was in her purse, but he could still hear it.

  She didn’t move except to cup his jaw with one hand to keep his attention focused on her. Seconds later, the ring cut off and the only sound he heard was their heavy breathing.

  Until her phone began to ring again.

  With a sigh, she pulled back to look at him, her expression all pained apology.

  “I really wish I could just ignore that.”

  “Then do it. You are not always going to be able to take her call.”

  “I know. I plan to talk to her this weekend. I just…”

  �
��Just what?”

  “You’ve kind of bulldozed your way into my life and I’m still trying to figure out what’s going to be left when you’re gone.”

  “I am not interested in tearing down anything. I want to build things with you.”

  Her lips twitched and he frowned, unable to figure out what he had said to amuse her.

  “What?”

  “You want to build a barn?”

  Ah. He hid his grin behind a haughty shrug. “Do you want a castle? A mansion?”

  Her phone stopped ringing again and he swore she breathed a sigh of relief.

  “Maybe I will build your phone a soundproof box where you could store it.”

  As if on cue, he heard it start up again.

  Shaking her head, she slid off his lap and headed for the chair by the door where her purse sat.

  “Hey, Mom.” She paused. “No, there’s nothing wrong. I’m fine. I’m just— No, not tonight. I’ve got plans—” Another pause. “No, I’m going to the game. Yes, I’ve been going to a lot of games. I enjoy them. And…I’m dating one of the players. I told you.”

  Jake swore he could hear the silence on the other end of the line as her mom digested that information.

  “So, I’ve got a busy day tomorrow but how about I call you Saturday morning? The team leaves for a road trip— No, I’m not going but I’ll probably go to Sophie’s Saturday and Sunday to watch the games.”

  This pause was longer and Faith’s teeth lodged in her bottom lip as she listened. And then she turned away.

  “Sure, but… No. Everything’s fine. Nothing’s going on. I’ve got company— I didn’t say anything because we weren’t going to talk all night. But we were just getting ready to eat— Yes. No. I’ll call Saturday. Love you both. Talk to you later. Bye.”

  He watched her end the call. Watched her take a deep breath as her hand tightened around her phone before she turned with a forced smile and set the phone back inside her purse.

  “Sorry.”

  “You don’t need to apologize to me. Not for that.”

  “I know I need to talk to her but… It’s tough.”

  “I understand.”

  She gave him a look that clearly showed she didn’t believe him.

  “How does your mom handle you being half a world away? I think mine would have a heart attack.”

  “She knew because that had always been my plan. To play for the NHL. And I never deviated. She also knows that children are not meant to be a parent’s responsibility forever.”

  “True. And I think Mom knows that but after the accident…”

  “What happens if you decide to move away from the area?”

  Watching her carefully, he knew she understood that he was talking about her moving away with him. They hadn’t talked again about what would happen if and when he joined the Colonials. Or if he got traded. They’d avoided it, probably because she still didn’t realize how serious he was.

  He loved her.

  And he didn’t see any reason not to tell and move forward. Together. Faith might say it was too soon but he knew his own mind. He just didn’t want her to run.

  But he saw something else in the expression that puzzled him.

  “Faith, did something happen?”

  Her gaze flashed away for a second and a pit opened in his gut.

  “I got a call for a job interview.”

  That pit opened a little farther.

  “And this is for a job you want?”

  “It could be. It’s got the same philosophy as Discovery but it’s bigger. There’s no guarantee I’ll get it, but it’s nice to know they’re considering me.”

  “I think you underestimate yourself. Where is this job?”

  She glanced away. “Charlotte.”

  “North Carolina.” He knew that because the city had an AHL team.

  She nodded, her gaze to his.

  “And you would be willing to move that far from your family and friends?”

  “If I had to, yes. If Discovery closes, I need to be able to support myself. I need to keep moving forward. I can’t rely on my parents forever.”

  All true. But he wanted her to rely on him as well as herself. Wanted her to want him enough to—

  What? Give up her entire life to follow him?

  He knew how much he would be asking her to give up if they made this relationship formal. The weeks he’d be gone on road trips that she’d spend alone. The constant stress of knowing he could be traded across the country and have to move in a few hours’ notice. Or the stress of him being injured and unable to play.

  Which couldn’t equal the stress of not knowing if you couldn’t find a job to support herself.

  Too much, too fast, too soon.

  “Jake?”

  “They would be foolish not to want you.”

  Her expression made it clear he’d said the right thing. Even if it wasn’t what he wanted to say.

  “You know,” she slid back onto his lap, winding her arms around his shoulders and rubbing her nose along his, “I think the same thing about the Colonials. They’re stupid if they don’t bring you up. You and Lad make an unstoppable team.”

  Hearing her talk hockey made his cock harden. Maybe that was stupid. Didn’t make it any less true.

  His arms wrapped around her, hands stroking up and down in a way that should leave her with no question how he felt at the moment. He wanted her. Wanted to show her how he felt, even if he didn’t say the words out loud.

  “You are very wise woman.”

  Her smile made his gut clench with need as he slipped his hands beneath the loose shirt she wore. Liked that she wore nothing beneath it.

  His hands curved around her breasts and her eyes fluttered shut as he squeezed her nipples between his thumbs and forefingers.

  “And you make me want to work off dinner before I eat it.”

  His hands tightened around her breasts as her mouth landed on his with a demand he accepted and rose to meet.

  Seconds later, her mouth slanted over his and that kiss flared into a blaze that soon had them breathing so hard, the sound echoed around the room.

  And when she moved to straddle him, he knew the dining chair wasn’t going to be able to hold them for what he wanted to do with her.

  With his hands on her ass, he stood, urging her legs to wrap around his waist as he walked to the couch.

  By the time he lowered them down onto the cushion, her hands were on the waistband of his jeans and his were inside her yoga pants, pushing them down and over her ass.

  Pulling away, she grinned at him as he smoothed his hands over her ass and she struggled with his zipper.

  “No fair,” she said. “You need to start wearing sweatpants.”

  “I would have if I had known you were going to—”

  He nearly swallowed his tongue as she got his pants open and wrapped one hand around his full erection. His libido had gone from zero to sixty in seconds and the rest of his body was racing to catch up.

  His blood pumped through his veins, his heart pounding as his cock demanded more and faster and his brain told him to slow down.

  His cock won that battle.

  “Condom. Back pocket.”

  His voice sounded rough and uncivilized but Faith either didn’t notice or didn’t care.

  She wrestled the condom out of his pocket with one hand and worked his boxer briefs down far enough to release his cock with the other.

  She was about to tear open the foil packet but he tugged her shirt up and over her head, getting her hands tangled in the sleeves and causing her to laugh.

  That sound made him smile, made his heart fucking shudder in his chest.

  He soaked in the sound as his gaze fell to her breasts, quickly followed by his mouth. Bending forward, he sucked first one nipple then the other into his mouth, licking and biting and sucking, making her arch her back and push herself forward, her fingers sinking into his hair and holding him closer.

  Didn’t s
he know he wasn’t going anywhere?

  But she might be.

  Shoving the thought out of his head, he concentrated on making her sigh, making her pant. Wanted her to cry out his name as he came.

  He slid one hand between her legs, spread open over his lap, and groaned at the silky feel of her arousal coating his fingers.

  Her body bucked against him as he pressed his thumb against her clit and slid two fingers inside her tight sex. She clenched around him as he fucked her with his fingers, her hips moving until he clamped his other arm around her waist to hold her steady.

  Tugging on his hair, she forced his head back and kissed him again, her tongue whipping against his, her taste making his brain short-circuit.

  His cock throbbed, as if it could sense the heat of her body. He couldn’t wait any longer to bury himself inside her. To show her how much he wanted her.

  “Condom. Now.”

  Her eyes opened slowly. “Impatient.”

  “Only for you.”

  One hand curved around his jaw and her fingers feathered over his lips in a caress so sweet and hot, he felt his gut twist.

  “How can I refuse.”

  “I really fucking hope you don’t.”

  Turning to the side, his fingers still embedded inside her, she picked up the condom from the cushion, where she’d dropped it when he’d taken off her shirt.

  She had him covered in a matter of seconds and shimmied around enough to get one leg free from her pants so he could thrust inside her.

  As she sank down onto him, his arms tightened around her as her hands clamped onto his shoulders.

  Then he let her take him.

  Because he was already hers.

  Chapter Ten

  Friday morning, Jake lay in bed for a few seconds after he turned off his alarm, staring at the ceiling in his apartment.

  For the past three nights, he hadn’t slept here. He’d stayed at Faith’s. If he had his way, they would be spending every night together, figuring out how to mesh their lives together to make this relationship work. Because once he committed to something, he was all in. He wasn’t sure if she understood that yet, but she would soon enough.

  But tonight he had a game, so instead of staying with Faith after having smoking hot sex on her couch, like he would have preferred, he’d returned to his apartment and slept alone.