How NOT to Summon a Demon Lord: Volume 4

by Yukiya Murasaki

  “So, it’s as I thought.”

  Diablo was half-disappointed. The captain of the Paladins they went through all this trouble to meet was the leader of a group of thugs.

  Batutta stayed silent.

  —That’s right, I guess he asked me a question.

  Diablo gave a shrug. “If you are referring to the spell that drove off that Sand Whale earlier, then yes, that was my magic. And you, did you use some kind of Martial Art?”

  “Aye. That was my 《Seven Star Blast》.”

  “Hm!?”

  —A level 130 technique!?

  There was still a gap in their stats, but depending on the situation and how he conducted himself in battle, there was a chance he could overpower Diablo in a fight. Considering how much MP Diablo had lost, he anticipated it to be an extremely uphill battle for himself.

  His palms were getting sweaty; it had been a while since he felt this tense.

  The Paladin Brigade wore smug looks of triumph on their faces.

  “Get on your knees, Sorcerer! Know your place! Even if God forgives you for speaking so lightly to Sir Batutta, we won’t!”

  “Tch...”

  The Brigade was absolutely ecstatic, getting carried away more than ever before. In a world like this where level 50 was considered “the strongest in town,” Batutta was level 130 or higher. The Brigade members were making the mistake of thinking that their boss was peerless.

  —Doesn’t look like I’ll be able to avoid a fight.

  As he glared at them all, Lumachina came to Diablo’s side.

  —Whoa, whoa, whoa, that’s too dangerous!

  “Is this person Batutta, captain of the Paladins?”

  “Bow down, woman!!” One of the Paladin Brigade members shouted at her, his eyes bloodshot.

  Lumachina ignored his screams of fury, looking only at Batutta. “What is the meaning of this, Captain? What is this Paladin ‘Brigade’ these people claim to be a part of? I do not remember giving permission for anything like that to come about. Did the Cardinal Authority allow it? Or is this something you went and created of your own accord?”

  Batutta had a curious look on his face in response to what she said. He stared at her intently; suddenly, beads of sweat began to form on his forehead.

  “You... You are...”

  A member of the Brigade unsheathed his sword. “Leave this to me, Boss! I’ll show them how they should be acting toward the captain of the Paladins!”

  “...Could you be...the High Priest? You are the High Priest, are you not!?”

  “I believe this to be the first time we meet.”

  “I’ve seen you once when you were just a babe! Th-There is no one else who could possess such divine light!”

  “I see, back when I was an infant... Forgive me for being impolite.”

  Lumachina joined her hands together. The sparkling holy symbol of the Church appeared in front of her chest, emanating a warm, gentle light that spread through the area. The townspeople watching from a distance let out voices of wonderment, joining their hands together and kneeling down.

  “O, Lord...” “She’s the High Priest...” “Truly a venerable sight to behold...” Diablo could hear them whispering.

  “M-My humblest apologies! I cannot apologize enough for my disrespectfulness!” Batutta knelt down as well.

  “Wha!? Huh!? Huh!?!?”

  Seeing their boss bow his head to someone else completely flustered the Brigade members. Their eyes kept darting back and forth to Lumachina. Seeing how bad they were at catching on, Batutta roared at them.

  “You insolent fools! Are you aware just who you stand before!? This is the saint who delivers the word of God to all churches—the High Priest, Lumachina Weselia! Know your place and prostrate yourselves, NOW!!”

  “Eeeeeek!?”

  They seemed more afraid of Batutta’s threatening attitude rather than the meaning of what he said. With both hands on the ground, the members of the Paladin Brigade placed their foreheads against the sand.

  Lumachina breathed a sigh. “God is watching you... Rather than bowing your heads to me, I am sure they would rather you reach out and help those who seek it.”

  “Urk!? E... Eep...”

  The breathing of the man from before grew wilder. He was sweating profusely as his body shook uncontrollably. It seemed like he finally realized just what they were guilty of doing, and who they had done it to.

  —You reap what you sow, guys. That should be a good pill for them to swallow.

  Diablo let out a scornful laugh as Rem and Shera huddled up on either side of him.

  “...Well, I feel a bit better now.”

  “Ahaha, me too!”

  Diablo couldn’t disagree with that.

  “...Would this be the end of our escort, then?” Rem asked.

  “She should be fine with this guy, right?”

  Diablo decided not to answer that question just yet.

  †

  “Seems like you have some amusing visitors, you swindlers.”

  “Hm!?”

  Batutta took up his spear, looking above him. Diablo glared upward as well, only to see someone standing in the middle of the air. They stood in the sky with nothing to stand upon, their red cape fluttering in the breeze.

  —Is that...《Crimson Wings》!?

  It was a piece of equipment that was about as rare as Diablo’s Curtain of Dark Clouds, and was imbued with Flight magic. Resting on her shoulder was a gun almost as long as the entire length of her body.

  —Was she the Magi Gunner from before!?

  “Say what you will about me, but any insults to this person and your head is as good as mine, Laminitus!” Batutta thundered his response.

  “You will add ‘the Great’ when referring to ‘the Great Laminitus,’ you petulant swindler.”

  It was then Diablo finally noticed—

  —A woman’s voice...!?

  The Magi Gunner with the vivid red cape descended from the air.

  —Yup, they’re definitely a woman.

  She alighted softly on the sandy ground, showing her perfect mastery of Crimson Wings. You could almost smell the sex appeal coming from her when she landed. She looked to be about the same age as Diablo—and just as arrogant, judging by her attitude.

  With only a glance at Batutta, she turned her attention toward Lumachina.

  “We are the governing sovereign of Zircon Tower, Fanis Laminitus. And you would be the High Priest, We assume?”

  Her scarlet lips curled ever so slightly.

  Something felt...off about the way she acted.

  “...Given the way she talks, it seems she thinks of herself more as a ruler rather than a governess,” Rem whispered into Diablo’s ear.

  “Hmph, so I see.”

  Galford acted self-important in his own right, but he still acted like someone in service to the royal court. Laminitus, on the other hand, had the attitude of an empress.

  —I don’t remember someone like her being the governess here, though...

  Lumachina joined her hands together. “It is just as you have said. I am Lumachina Weselia, the High Priest. A pleasure to meet you, governess.”

  “Heh... To think the leader of this group of swindlers was just a young girl.”

  “What do you happen to mean by ‘swindlers’?”

  “Though they do nothing of significance, these whelps still demand donations. We do not allow parasites inside our domain, which means We do not approve of religion here.”

  “Huh!?”

  “However, We would allow them to do business if they paid they’re due taxes.”

  “What are you saying!? The king of Lyferia, Delouche Xandros, ordered that it was the duty of all governors to build churches and make them exempt from taxation...”

  “Hah! As if We care about that useless coward here! If the king has a problem with Us, then he can try coming here himself!”

  —I see... The king has never come to the dangerous former Demon Lord�
��s Domain. He wouldn’t be so easily able to stop Laminitus’s rampage like that.

  Not only that, but Laminitus was quite the capable person herself. Based on her magi gun assault from earlier and how she acted with Batutta, Diablo would say she was level 100 or higher for certain. Even when he’d gone against a party of six level 150 players in Cross Reverie, Diablo still managed to come out on top. But even then, the fight had been adjusted for the number of people he was facing, and he was able to use a near infinite number of items. He’d already used up the rarer potions that were left in his pouch.

  —I wonder how Magi Gunners work in this world. I can’t just take her on if I don’t know at least that much.

  The whole foundation Magi Gunners were built on was the ability to “shoot bullets infused with magic, and for the effects of those spells to activate when the bullet was fired.” When the class was first implemented, they could fire as many of them as they wanted in a row, rapid-fire. Though bullets were consumable items, the destructive DPS they packed was in a league of its own, enough that they threw off the balance of the game.

  Diablo also suffered from being slapped in the face with the wads of cash the pay-to-win players threw at the game because of it.

  —Thinking back on it, I faced off against a couple of rankers who went on a shooting spree while dual-wielding magi guns specced out for damage. That was a bit dicey since they took down half my HP in an instant... But they were a couple wearing 《Wedding Rings》, so I annihilated them, of course!

  After various tweaks and rebalances, the latest versions of magi guns had their rapid-fire ability toned down, and took a huge nerf to their damage. But since they didn’t cost MP to use in battle, Diablo still considered them to be fairly powerful.

  “I understand you have your own opinions on the king, but the people under your governance are suffering, are they not?” Lumachina said in return.

  “That is because these swindlers are making demands for their much undeserved ‘donations.’”

  Batutta grimaced, the conversation having been turned back to him. “After having our church taken away, and considering how you’re determined to tax us one way or another, asking for donations from our followers is our only recourse. Priests have their own lives to live as well!”

  “Hmph... Wasn’t God supposed to be someone who handed out wine and bread?”

  “Th-That’s...”

  Lumachina shook her head. “Even if it is possible for God, it is not for people. We are believers in God, not gods ourselves.”

  “Oho? So you think to lecture Us... High Priests sure seem to think the world of themselves. If you really are such an important person, then let’s test if you truly do have the protection of God on your side!”

  Laminitus took the magi gun from her shoulder, aiming it at Lumachina.

  “What are you...!?”

  “Tch!”

  Diablo prepared to use a spell—but Batutta already thrust his spear forward. Close quarters combat was where Warriors truly shined.

  “You insolent fool!”

  The tip of his spear was met with nothing but thin air. Laminitus landed softly about ten paces away from him.

  It happened so fast—before Diablo could even unleash his magic, Batutta charged ahead with his spear, while Laminitus jumped away from him.

  —These guys are pretty strong.

  Their speed was something to be admired.

  Laminitus boomed with laughter. “Ahhhaha~! It seems you do not believe in God after all! That is why you tried to protect Miss High Priest over there. If there really was a god, they would protect her without you having to do anything, would they not!?”

  “What falsehoods!” Batutta roared.

  On the inside, Diablo was almost convinced as well.

  Lumachina shook her head. “You are mistaking God as some sort of all-powerful armor. Someone with an understanding as shallow as yourself lacks the qualification to speak on the subject.”

  “We are mistaken...you say? And shallow!?”

  She sent a vicious glare at the High Priest, but Lumachina stayed calm and composed.

  “Listen well—God is always watching. Whatever ill deeds you perform will eventually beget disaster, either for yourself or for your descendants. But say, for example, you were to shoot me here and I were to die because of it, that may be God bringing his judgment down on me for my own sins. Or, it may be that God is calling me back to them in the heavens. It is impossible for people to fully understand the way God works.”

  For the briefest of moments, Lumachina glanced over at Diablo.

  —I see now... Since she thinks no one can understand how God works, maybe that’s why she accepted my ridiculous story?

  No, based on the way she conducts herself, Lumachina’s a sharp one. Did she maybe catch on to my lie by now? If so, how much does she know? Did she figure out I was a shut-in gamer who was only pretending to be a Demon Lord!? ...No, there’s no way she could... I’m really bad with people I can’t get a read on what they’re actually thinking...

  “Hmph...” Laminitus snorted. “Then that just makes you a fool who depends on such trivial things! Is there anyone who would trust in an unreliable weapon on the battlefield? And you claim disaster will eventually befall Us? What absolute trite! We’ll just shoot down that ‘disaster’ as well!”

  “That isn’t what—”

  “You’re only a bunch of swindlers, taking advantage of the insecurities of the masses to relieve them of their monies.”

  “But miracles for healing and bountiful harvests do indeed exist, you know?”

  “You should receive appropriate compensation for things that have actual use. That’s what it means to do business, and We would allow you to do so—as long as you paid your taxes!”

  Lumachina sighed. The conversation between the deeply pious Lumachina and the utilitarian Laminitus wasn’t going anywhere. If this dragged out any longer, she might just end up with a magi gun pointed at her again.

  Batutta stepped between them. “Lady Lumachina, let us leave it at that for today. Laminitus, we don’t use the church here, and we aren’t evading our taxes. I should think we’ve done nothing to earn the scorn of the governess, don’t you agree?”

  “Hmph... We never had business with you to begin with, and that High Priest is nothing but an extra headache as well. The only reason We arrived was to search for whomever used that curious spell against that monstrous beast earlier.”

  —Wait, that’s me...!!

  An unintentional scowl came over Diablo’s face. Judging by the way Laminitus acted, anything would probably cause a headache for him.

  With acting that could only be called a sublime performance, Batutta shook his head. “I came here looking for them as well...but it seems no one knows who it was.”

  “Oho~h?”

  Laminitus fixed her eyes on Diablo. It felt like he should avoid looking at her. It was like getting dirty looks from someone who looked like trouble while you were walking around town. But acting like a chicken wasn’t something a Demon Lord would do, which is why he glared right back at her.

  “What do you plan to do after finding this Sorcerer?”

  Laminitus twisted her mouth into a grin. “If We can use them, then We will make them into Our subordinate, of course! If they won’t listen, however, then We will teach them the difference between our powers by force!”

  “Aren’t you a nasty piece of work.”

  Without meaning to, he let how he really felt slip out. He thought she would fly off the handle at him, but instead she gave him a playful smile.

  “Hm-hm-hm... If they truly are such a powerful person, then surely they would stand before Us someday.”

  —They already are, though...

  She was most likely already aware of this. However, Laminitus cut the conversation short, turning her gaze to the west.

  “It seems Our subordinates have caught the idiotic sand ship that caused a scene earlier. We shall conti
nue our conversation another day.”

  She rose back up into the air, whipping up sand as she did, and flew off toward the western area of Zircon Tower.

  “...Phew... It seems you’ve had quite a troublesome person set their sights on you,” Rem said, sounding drained.

  “Don’t say that. You’re just going to make me even more exhausted,” Diablo said with a shrug.

  “I had no idea what she was saying most of the time!” Shera said with a giggle.

  —Man, I should learn how to be that carefree...

  Batutta knelt before Lumachina once more. “Allow me to apologize again for my impoliteness. It seems the ineptitude of my subordinates has caused you trouble as well. May I invite you to join me at my estate?”

  “Thank you. I have something I wish to discuss with you as well.”

  “I’ll prepare a sand skimmer at once.”

  Diablo and the others, or rather, Lumachina and her supposed attendants, were led aboard the camel-drawn skimmer and headed toward the northern area of town.

  †

  For the time being, they continued to travel along peacefully.

  The camels stomped along the sand with their thick legs. The wheels of carts and wagons would sink in the sand here, so it seemed they used these sand skimmers instead.

  Batutta held the reigns while Diablo and the others were sitting down in their seats. They came upon a giant building that faced the main road. It was made from stone just like everything else around it, but was also built upon a firm stone foundation, and had a bell tower that rose up into the sky. Though it was located in the middle of a desert, stained glass lined its walls.

  It was quite the imposing church, and was surrounded by a perimeter of local guards, preventing anyone from coming close.