Christmas to Come: a heartbreaking coming of age saga set in London's East End

by Carol Rivers

  'Nor do I much. But it's better than it was. Are you walking home with me?'

  He dug his hands in his pockets and shook his head. 'No. Going to Sean's.'

  Bella sighed. Terry was showing his anxiety in the only way he could. Though he had taken to Teresa like a duck to water, this meeting had upset him. However, it was something he would have to get used to and in time she was sure he would. 'Well, you'd better get along then.'

  ' ' Frew the tunnel,' he said, pointing in the opposite direction.

  Bella smiled; it was the most he had said all day, but that was Terry. She went on her toes to kiss his cheek. 'Here you are, take this nougat with you.'

  Terry's eyes lit up as she pushed the small brown paper bag in his pocket.

  'Go straight to Sean's, won't you?' she said again, making sure he was paying attention.

  He nodded and she watched him amble off, taking the road to Island Gardens, where he would navigate the foot tunnel to Greenwich. She waited, waving to him when he glanced back. He was twenty years old, but still a child. At least now he could be trusted to go to places on his own. He no longer dropped cigarettes or started fires. Working at the garage had made him more responsible. But it would take time for him to trust Mary again. To think that he had been the one who didn't want to leave Bow Street! "Terry don't want to run away," he'd said over and over again. Now she was sure he would never want to return there, even if the cottage was still standing.

  Bella arrived back at the airey and found Gina waiting on the steps. Once inside, Gina looked around. 'Well, I can see he's not here,' she sighed as she collapsed into a chair. 'But then I didn't think he would be.'

  'Who's not here?' Bella asked in confusion.

  'My Lenny.'

  'Why should he be here?'

  'It's a long story. Where are the kids?'

  'Next door until two o'clock.'

  Gina looked very pale. Bella could see it was taking a great effort to speak. 'Lenny's left me. He walked out and took his suitcase with him.'

  'But why?' Bella gasped.

  'We had another row over the business. He's always saying he's fed up with being a skivvy. He said he couldn't stand it any longer.'

  'How long has he felt like that?'

  Gina lifted her shoulders. 'I don't know.' She looked exhausted as she shook her head. 'Yes, I do. The answer is he's never liked catering. You know that. I suppose I have got a quick tongue and I don't suffer fools gladly. Lenny is no fool, but he's a man and men don't think like women. He was happiest making the hooch with your Micky. But after the fire I thought we stood a chance of making the business into a good earner between us. And to his credit, these last few years he had had cooked and cleaner his arse off. Oh Gawd, Bella, I don't half miss him.'

  'Did you say anything to upset him?'

  Gina laughed emptily. 'Everything I say upsets him these days. I have to keep my trap shut or else we're at it like cats and dogs. Can't afford to let the customers see that, or young Tina either.'

  'Let me make you a cup of tea and we'll talk about where he could be.' Leaving Gina gazing into the fire, she went into the kitchen and put on the kettle. Where had Lenny disappeared to? He had very few friends and wasn't the type to go out on the town.

  When the tea was made she took it into the front room and set it on the table. Gina was staring into space.

  'Drink this and tell me all about it,' Bella urged.

  Gina looked disdainfully into her cup. 'You've not got something stronger, have you?'

  'You won't be thinking straight if you're tipsy. Now, what was the tiff over?'

  'Lenny's not been himself for some time. Moody and sharp to the customers. Going off down the pub every night. Of course, I wasn't having that. I mean, if he's going to drink our profits away, then what's the point of all our hard work? The last holiday we had was after the warehouse fire, remember? Well, I suggested we take another one. Margate or Brighton, somewhere by the sea, a nice boarding house. But he wasn't having it. He said a week's holiday wasn't going to cure what was wrong with us. I asked him what did he mean and he said he'd had enough. That I didn't make him feel like a man. I couldn't believe my ears. The next morning, Sunday, I woke up to find him standing by our bed, his suitcase packed. I got the fright of my life. There was me without me face on and he's just standing there, looking down at me like flipping Gulliver off on his travels.'

  'Did you try to stop him?'

  Gina looked away. 'Course I did.'

  'And?'

  'And – he just walked out.'

  'Just like that?'

  Gina turned to frown at her. 'Don't you believe me?'

  'Yes, but it sounds as if – well, as if he planned it, packing his case like that. I mean, did he do it whilst you were asleep or before?'

  Gina stared at her for a long time, then suddenly shrugged. 'I don't know. I hadn't given it a thought.'

  'Have you asked at the pub?'

  'No. I've got my pride, you know.'

  'Has he got any special friends he might go to?'

  Gina shook her head. 'No. No. Only – '

  'Who?'

  Gina said uncertainly, 'Well, Micky of course.'

  Now it was Bella's turn to look puzzled. 'Micky would have told me if he'd seen Lenny.'

  Gina nodded slowly and the two women sat in silence. After a while there were noises above and little footsteps outside. Teresa and Michael came bursting.

  'Auntie Gina,' Michael shouted, throwing his arms around her.

  'How's my boy, then?' Gina hugged him, then smiled at Teresa. 'Are you feeling better, love?'

  Teresa nodded, grinning.

  'Come here then and let me give you a smacker.' Gina reached out for Teresa's hand and drew her close planting her full lips on the little girl's cheek.

  Bella watched Gina making every attempt to seem her normal self. But Bella knew that inside she was hurting. Where had Lenny gone? And more importantly, why?

  Chapter 22

  That night, when Micky came home, Bella explained about Lenny.

  'Gina was always a nag,' he replied abruptly as he scoffed his dinner. 'And fancy making him work like a woman!'

  'That's not fair,' Bella protested. 'Lenny didn't have to stay at the cafe. He could have got a job.'

  'I'll tell you why he didn't,' Micky came back with as Bella sat down at the kitchen table. 'Because he never heard the end of it after the fire. Gina took away his confidence and tied an apron on him instead. He was putty in her hands and she played on it.'

  'How do you know that?'

  'He told me.'

  'When?'

  ' 'Struth, Bells, I can't remember. Anyway, you know those two, they'll be back to tearing each other to shreds before you can say Jack Robinson. Now, if we could drop the subject, I'm going to have forty winks. I've been on my feet all day and I'm knackered.' He drank the last of his ale and walked out to the front room.

  Bella cleared the dishes from the table and put them into the sink. By the time she caught up with him, hoping to discuss the rest of the day's events, he was asleep in the chair. His tie was loose and the buttons of his shirt undone at the neck. His black hair fell over his forehead and his long lashes lay on his cheeks. Bella knew he would be there long after she had gone to bed.

  Sighing softly she returned to the kitchen and began to clean the dishes. She thought about Gina and Lenny. Was Micky correct in believing they would be back together again soon? They had been together a long time and even though Lenny might not like working for her, the business was thriving. Could either of them turn their backs on the money? The more Bella thought about it the more she became convinced that Micky was right. This was just a quarrel and Lenny would soon put in an appearance.

  As for her own evening, it was past nine o'clock. She and Micky had spent the best part of it discussing problems that weren't even their own. She wanted to tell him how good the furniture looked in the prefab. And how Gus had fumigated it successfully and fresh wall
paper had been applied to the walls.

  Bella drew a critical eye over her neat and tidy home. She kept it spotless. Even though Teresa's presence in the house had kept her busy, she had always maintained a high standard. There would be less to do of course, after the summer holidays. Teresa would be reunited with Mary and Michael back to school. The accounting she still did for Ronnie had decreased after the sale of the Blue Moon. There were no babies on the way, despite her deep yearning for more children. Michael was growing fast and needed a sister or brother. But if none arrived, what would she do with herself in time to come?

  She switched on the standard lamp in the front room. Micky was snoring loudly. She wanted to discuss her hopes and her fears, her concerns about Terry and Mary, and the dreams she had for the future.

  On her way to bed she looked in on the children. Each was fast asleep, the sound of their soft breathing making her feel content and yet disturbed. What would she do if the years passed and no more children arrived? Was it her fault? Was there something physically wrong with her? All the women at school seemed to have extending families. And some of them even went to a clinic and tried to stop conceiving! If only they knew how lucky they were.

  What did life have in store for her and Micky? she fretted. These were the concerns she wanted to share with her husband and attempt to find an answer. She couldn't do it on her own.

  It was the second week of July, just before school broke up for the holidays, when Bella decided it was safe to take Teresa home. Teresa was fit and well and was asking after Mary. Bella knew that the little girl had a very loyal streak in her. It was a character trait Bella admired, but was it wasted on their mother?

  When she told Ronnie of her decision, he offered to drive them to Mary's as Micky was at work. But when the day came, all Bella's doubts surfaced. Was Teresa really was strong enough to cope with the haphazard life she would now lead? Would Mary look after her properly? Feed her? Keep her clean and free of nits and lice? All these fears went round in Bella's head and she hoped, right up to the last minute, that Teresa might reveal her true feelings. But this didn't happen. Teresa even seemed excited at the prospect of being with her mother again.

  It was Michael in fact, who had serious misgivings as they all sat in Ronnie's car on their way to school. 'I don't want to go without Teresa,' he complained, looking back at Teresa as Ronnie opened the car door. 'Can't I come with you?'

  Ronnie hunkered down beside him. 'This will be just a boring old chat between grown-ups,' he assured Michael with a wink. 'And don't forget, you break up soon. We'll have a great time in the holidays.'

  After a great deal of encouragement, eventually Michael allowed Ronnie to walk him into the playground. Teresa squeezed Bella's hand tightly. She was suddenly very pale. 'Do I have to stay by myself at home?' she asked anxiously.

  'No, of course not. Mary will be there. What's more you have a surprise in store. A nice new bedroom.' Bella had gone round the previous weekend to confirm the arrangement and make sure everything was in order. But all the same, Teresa was very quiet as Ronnie drove them to Collier Street.

  'I'll wait for you here,' Ronnie said as he parked close to the prefab and helped her out with her bags.

  'No, Ron, I don't know how long I'll be. Thanks all the same.'

  'I'm going to miss you, young lady, but we'll get together soon, right?' he told Teresa. 'Like I told Michael, it's your holidays soon. We'll have lots of fun together.'

  Teresa nodded as she held Bella's hand. 'Ta, Uncle Ron.'

  Bella smiled. 'Thanks Ron, for everything.'

  'Listen, take care of yourself.' He glanced down to the prefab.

  'Don't worry. I will.'

  He patted Teresa's shoulder. 'See you soon, little miss.'

  When they arrived at the prefab, the door opened immediately. Much to Bella's surprise, Mary wore a smart navy blue dress and a pair of decent flat shoes. Even her hair had been combed back into a neat clip. 'Oh, it's you two,' her mother remarked casually as if she had forgotten the arrangement. 'You'd better come in.'

  She led the way to Teresa's bedroom and pushed open the door. 'See how clean it is, girl? And that's real wallpaper on them walls.'

  Teresa smiled, but Bella knew that now the time had come to be left in Mary's care, she was ill at ease.

  'I've got meself a job cleaning the grocers round the corner, while the kid's at school,' Mary announced proudly. 'Don't pay much, but it's better than lavs.'

  'Just as long as you don't leave Teresa on her own.' Bella continued to make up the bed with the fresh sheets she had brought.

  'You don't have to tell me how to look after my own child,' Mary replied indignantly.

  Bella just about stopped herself from reminding Mary that child-rearing was not one of her better qualities. 'You'll be able to buy some fresh veg from the market as Teresa needs to eat well – '

  'She'll eat what I eat,' Mary interrupted sourly. 'I don't intend slaving over a hot stove.'

  Bella folded the sheet over the rose coloured candlewick spread that Teresa had helped her to chose from the market. 'In the summer, I'll help you, ' Bella said as she hung Teresa's freshly washed clothes in the new wardrobe. 'Teresa can come over and keep Michael company. He's always at a loose end in the holidays.'

  'Please yourself,' Mary muttered. 'And where is my son and heir today?'

  'Terry? He's at work at the garage.'

  'And couldn't find time to visit his mother?'

  'It wasn't that. He has a job to do, that's all. Is there a cup of tea going?'

  Mary looked at her then walked away. Bella sat on the bed with Teresa. She was not going to get much cooperation from their mother. But she wasn't going to let it upset her either. 'Do you like your new room?' she asked Teresa.

  'I've never had a real bed before.'

  'You'll sleep like a top in this one. And all your new clothes are in the wardrobe.' Bella combed back her hair, taking each silky strand and carefully plaiting them, adding a ribbon as a final touch.

  'When are you coming next?'

  'On Monday. We'll go to the park like I said. Michael will have finished school so we'll take a picnic with us.'

  'Did my Mum say I could?'

  'Yes, she did.'

  'Can I come round your house, too?'

  Bella nodded. 'You and Michael have birthdays to celebrate in August. Would you like a party?'

  'Oh, yes please! Can Anne and Irene come? And Emma and Victoria?'

  'Yes, all your friends are welcome.'

  Teresa wrapped her thin arms around her and they sat quietly together. Although Teresa was much better, she still had a weak chest. Would Mary remember to give her the orange juice and cod liver oil that would help Teresa's stamina? Bella decided that she was going to keep a very strict eye on the situation.

  Micky was talking with Milo and Ivor. They were in the small office attached to the garage. Micky had instructed Terry to stand outside and knock on the door if there were any customers. Through the window he could see Terry standing stiff as a sentry beside a 1950 Austin. The kid wouldn't move from there unless he saw a punter and Micky relaxed. The door was locked, no one would enter.

  On the table in front of them was a large map. They were all concentrating on one particular area circled in red, with a large X drawn across it.

  'Downey Manor,' Micky said in a low voice as he glanced at Miles. The young salesman had a frown on his handsome face. 'It's a blinder,' continued Micky enthusiastically. 'I can guarantee it. My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I saw the rooms all choc-a-block full of paintings and antiques. I wouldn't be surprised if Lady Muck is worth a fortune.'

  'She may well be,' agreed Ivor, also looking doubtful. 'But those kind of goods would not be easy to dispose of.'

  'It's not them I'm interested in,' Micky said with a sly smile. 'You see, the old girl took quite a shine to me. Told me all about the family fortune, most of which is stashed away in the banks. Her other half was a bit of a gamb
ler, liked his gee-gees. Must've been a shrewd old bugger as he stuffed the cash where he could see it. She paid for the motor in cash, all rolled up fivers.'

  'From under the floorboards no doubt?' said Miles sarcastically.

  'No, from a hole in the wall behind one of her Rembrandt's.'

  'How much?' Ivor asked, stroking his small moustache. The office reeked of his foreign tobacco. Micky had closed the window tight so they couldn't be overheard.

  'There was wads of it, so much that she was fighting to push it back in again. The two-hundred quid she lashed out for the Jag didn't make a dent in it.'

  'She showed you?'

  'Yeah. Didn't bat an eyelid. She's a bit off her trolley, see? Eccentric. Lots of these toffs are. Daft, because I could have been anyone, couldn't I?'

  'You are,' agreed Miles. 'You're planning to steal it.'

  'Borrow it, Milo. Swap it for funny money. She won't ever know the difference. I mean, most of it is just gathering dust. I was sitting at this big table that was more like a skating rink and clocking every move she made. There's notes in boxes and bags and rubber bands and she's short-sighted an' all, so she has to shove it up to her nose to see what it is. I tell you, we're about to do her a big service.'

  'Weren't there any servants?'

  'No, she only has someone come in to cook and clean and a gardener cum driver. She said she don't trust no one.'

  'Only you?'

  Micky grinned as lifted his foot to a chair and leaned his arm on his knee. 'Look, I built up the trust see? I was giving her the old flannel; these old biddies love flattery and a bit of attention in a department that has been sadly lacking for years. I took her for a few spins, whizzed her out in the fresh air with her poodle on her lap and the force of gravity taking twenty years off her double chins.'

  'You are a smooth bastard,' Miles chuckled. 'I was only thinking last week how that Jag was sticking. Then you call in one day and chat my customer up in a matter of seconds.'

  'Yeah, it was love at first sight.' Micky laughed loudly at his joke.

  'This doesn't sound healthy to me,' Ivor protested.