Christmas to Come: a heartbreaking coming of age saga set in London's East End

by Carol Rivers

  'You've been drinking a lot lately.'

  'I know. But only because I've been worried.'

  'What about? Are you in trouble?'

  'No, course not. But business isn't brisk.' He looked down. 'The honest truth is, I'm not seeing a return on the clubs. The custom is harder to come by, what with all these new dives opening up. Everyone's out for a quick few bob these days. There's no classy joints left. People want sleaze and I'm not prepared to provide it. I have standards, you know.'

  'Micky, why don't you sell the clubs and buy another garage? You always did well there and you could get another salesman like Milo.'

  He nodded slowly. 'He was a good sort, old Milo and I might do as you suggest. But I want to get shot of the Fortune and the Flamingo first. Still, that's my problem not yours.'

  Bella looked into his eyes. 'I didn't tell Gina about the money as I'm going to try to replace it.' She softened her voice as she continued. 'I haven't forgotten that you've been generous in the past and helped Mum and Teresa.'

  'They're family, Bells. When all is said and done, blood is thicker than water.'

  'Oh, Micky, when you're like this, I remember the man I married.'

  'I love you, Bella,' Micky said with an earnest expression. 'I might not have shown it lately, but I intend to change. I'm getting out of the clubs and making you and Michael proud of me.'

  He took her into his arms and slid the pins from her hair. Burying his face in its thickness, his whispered tender words. She couldn't recall how long ago it was they had last made love, but she felt he truly wanted her again.

  His kisses reminded her how happy they had once been and gave her hope that when the clubs were sold, they would be able to lead normal lives again.

  Chapter 28

  Summer had started late, but it hadn't made any difference to business. Bella was clearing tables only for them to be taken immediately. It didn't matter if it was boiling hot, lashing with rain or snowing, the kids kept pouring in. Today it was a simmering Saturday in July with big white clouds scudding across a clear sky.

  'It would be nice to have something a bit more exciting on the menu,' Gina said thoughtfully as Bella put down the tray of dirty cups and plates. 'I was thinking of spaghetti bolognese, as we have an Italian flavour with the Espresso. I could knock a few dishes up with a bit of practice.'

  'Yes, but all they ask for is ice cream.' Bella turned her attention to the machine which was making a mouth-watering aroma.

  Gina sighed as she placed two coffee cups and a banana sundae on a chromium tray. 'You're right. Espresso, ice cream and music all go together.'

  Bella laughed. 'If we didn't have the juke box there, what would the kids do? There's been a man launched into space this year and Stirling Moss has won the Grand Prix but all they want to talk about is their music.'

  'Like this new dance, the Twist.' Gina began to fill a leaf-shaped glass dish with pink, green and chocolate ice cream, sprinkling a few nuts on top. 'That Chubby Checker's got a really good voice.'

  'I thought you were a Roy Orbison fan?'

  'Yes, but the Twist is good for the figure.' Gina did a little demonstration, wiggling her hips and Bella laughed.

  'You'll have them dancing round the tables in a minute.'

  'We're not licensed for it, unfortunately,' Gina giggled as she pushed the tray towards Bella.

  'It would be a good idea, though.'

  Gina deftly stripped the skin from another banana, sliced it down the middle and ladled on the ice cream. 'Don't tempt me. I'm always thinking what we can get up to next. Which is why I thought I'd tart up our menu.'

  Bella smiled as she poured the coffees. 'I'm thinking of taking Michael and Teresa and some of their friends to the zoo for their birthday. Do you fancy coming?'

  'Count me in.' Gina frowned. 'Not having a party, then?'

  'It's not the same this year without Joyce. And anyway, the kids are getting older and want a change.'

  Gina nodded thoughtfully. 'How is Ronnie these days?'

  'He's thrown himself into work.'

  'He's not at the house much, then?'

  'Not a lot. He still takes Michael up the park on Saturdays and stops for tea after. But he's not his old self and doesn't ever talk about Joyce.'

  'What about your Micky?' Gina said, raising her eyebrows. 'Is he going to the zoo?'

  Bella spluttered. 'You must be joking!'

  Gina burst out laughing too. 'I can't imagine him in his mohair, feeding the monkeys.'

  Bella joined in the joke, but she knew that whatever celebrations they had in mind for the two birthdays, they would happen without Micky. He insisted he was selling the clubs and had to be there for any prospective customers, but this resulted in him spending more time away than ever. She had come to accept that Micky could change his mind in less than a split second. If she asked questions, he would become irritable, so she tried to balance her anxieties about their future, by letting him go his own way. When he occasionally remembered the promise he had made to be a good husband and father, he was loving and attentive. But when the effort he made was too much for his temperament, she was resigned to his change of moods. Luckily, she had replaced the money he had taken in January by pawning some of the jewellery she'd kept from the early days of their marriage. But it was only her wage from the coffee bar that kept them afloat and he took it for granted that she paid all their bills.

  Bella carried the foamy coffees to the table as Gina prepared more dishes of ice cream. When all the orders were done and fresh coffee made, she began to clean the tables, chatting with the young people as she did so.

  Suddenly there was a crash. All heads turned to look at Gina. She was standing over the shattered glass dishes, her face white, as though she'd seen a ghost.

  'What happened?' Bella asked as she hurried over.

  'There was a man looking in the window.' Gina's hand went up to her throat. 'I could have sworn it was Lenny.'

  'Lenny?' Bella repeated, glancing out at the empty pavement. 'Are you sure?'

  Gina swallowed hard. 'It must have been his double. I saw him once before, prowling around. But Lenny would never have been caught dead in a uniform. And this man was wearing one.'

  The children were playing ball after spending all their pocket money in the souvenir shop. The twins and their little sisters, June and April, had bought food for the animals, followed by ice creams and sweets. Teresa and Michael had been more selective and spent their pennies on shiny books with colour illustrations of the zoo's animals.

  Dolly, Bella and Gina had found a spot on the big green where they sat down under the trees. The park was full of adults relaxing as the kids sucked on ice lollies to alleviate the heat of the August day. Bella had brought a thermos of tea, two bottles of Tizer and a picnic, guessing that six children and three adults would end up very thirsty at the close of day.

  Bella opened her bags and set out the food. In the distance they could hear the monkeys and the high pitched screeches of the tropical birds. A keeper was parading around, making sure everyone left no litter.

  Dolly clasped her bump as she collapsed on the grass. Her maternity dress was like a tent as she patted it down around her. 'I'm not due till November but I'm as big as a house. Even the twins didn't compare to this.'

  'Mummy's got an elephant in her tummy,' six-year-old April said as she waited for the food to be ready.

  'No, it's a Chi-Chi,' giggled four-year-old June who had been fascinated by the sight of the big panda.

  'I hope I have a baby,' Dolly informed her daughters, 'or I'm going to send it back if it's covered in black and white fur. Now go and play with the others. The food isn't ready yet.'

  'If this is another girl, poor Percy!' Gina teased as the little girls ran off. 'He won't get a word in edgeways.'

  'I hope it's a boy this time,' Dolly admitted.

  Bella knew that Dolly and Percy were struggling to make ends meet, but that hadn't stopped their family from enlarging.


  'You're not going on this Pill, then?' Gina asked curiously.

  Dolly nodded. 'I'm giving it some thought, actually.'

  Bella poured the teas. 'But don't you have to take one every day?' she said before she had time to think. 'That can't be good for your health.'

  'Some of us don't have a choice,' Dolly replied sharply.

  'We're all inclined to be sceptical about something new,' Gina intervened. 'I read that a lot of women say the Pill has changed their lives.'

  Bella handed Dolly a sausage roll which disappeared almost immediately.

  'It's different for you, Bella,' Dolly said off-handedly, unwilling to let the subject drop. 'You've only got Michael and can spend as much time as you like on your career.'

  'Oh well, at least you two have done your bit towards procreation,' Gina added diplomatically. 'Left up to people like me, there wouldn't be a next generation.'

  There was a scream behind them and they all looked round. June had fallen over and was holding her knee. Dolly rolled her eyes and got to her feet, lumbering awkwardly over to her daughter.

  'Don't be upset,' Gina whispered as Bella looked crestfallen. 'Dolly's very sensitive at the moment.'

  'I didn't mean to judge.'

  'You didn't. Dolly has forgotten that life don't always work out the way you want it. What's getting on her nerves is the house. There's too many people in it!'

  'I wish I could help.'

  'It's all relative, really.' Gina pushed a slice of bread pudding into Bella's hand. 'A few more bob would solve everyone's problems or so we like to think. One day money is the root of all evil. Next day, it's God's gift to the human race. We're never satisfied. Always wanting more than we've got.'

  Bella decided to change the subject. 'Has that man ever appeared again?'

  'The one in uniform?' Gina said hesitantly. 'No. But the funny thing is …' She stopped, frowning. 'Oh, I'm daft, I am.'

  'What?'

  'It's just that ever since then it looks as though someone's been tidying the yard a bit. You know, how Lenny used to.'

  Bella frowned. 'Who would do that?'

  Gina laughed, flapping her hand. 'No one, of course. I told you, I'm going barmy.'

  Bella was still thinking about this when Dolly walked towards them. All the children followed her like the Pied Piper and she sank down on the grass with a big sigh.

  'We're hungry!' they all complained.

  'You don't need to tell us that,' Dolly answered with a sigh.

  'Feeding time at the zoo!' Bella exclaimed as she unscrewed the top of the Tizer bottle. A plume of liquid sprayed out, missing the children and covering Dolly. Her mouth fell open silently as she shook the Tizer from her hair. It even dripped from her eyebrows.

  Everyone stared at her, afraid to laugh.

  Then Dolly began to giggle. All the children joined in, Bella and Gina too, until tears filled their eyes.

  Wiping Dolly's sticky face and arms with a cloth, Bella dabbed at the wet bump. 'It's definitely a boy,' she announced as the baby moved under her touch. 'Michael kicked just the same.'

  Dolly smiled into Bella's gaze, their small spat forgotten. 'I'll call him Tizer if it is.'

  Once more, everyone broke into laughter. Bella leaned forward and hugged Dolly. Her careless remark about the Pill, was forgiven.

  Neville Raymond Percival Shine was born on the morning of Friday the seventeenth of November 1961. Percy arrived with the news soon after, his eyes shining proudly. 'He's ten pounds and nine ounces.'

  Bella hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. 'What wonderful news! A son at last.'

  'Where is everyone?'

  'Well it's Saturday and Ronnie and Michael are up the park.'

  'I wanted to wet the baby's head.'

  Bella made tea instead and sat down beside him. 'So tell me, what colour hair has your son got?'

  'Light brown, like mine.' He grinned. 'Well, what's left of it.'

  'Is Dolly all right? Did the baby come easily?'

  'She had him at home, ten minutes after the midwife arrived. She says Dolly gives birth as easy as shelling peas,' Percy replied, gulping his hot tea. 'Her mum's with the girls. They can't wait to walk the baby in the pram. So I thought I'd just have a quick one with the blokes. But if they're not here – '

  At that moment Ronnie and Michael walked in. Percy stood up, a big grin on his face.

  'Don't tell me, it's a boy!' guessed Ron and walking to Percy gave him a manly hug.

  'A whopper and all, Ron,' Percy burst out. 'Arms and legs like blooming balloons.'

  'Congratulations, mate.'

  'What's his name, Uncle Percy?' Michael put down his football.

  'Neville, after Dolly's dad. Raymond after her brother. And Percival, after yours truly.'

  'A bit long,' Michael agreed thoughtfully. 'But Nev's all right, I suppose.'

  Percy took out his white handkerchief and blew his nose. 'Look at me, getting all emotional.'

  'That's perfectly normal,' Bella replied. 'This is a grand occasion.'

  'Can you all come over tomorrow? Just for tea like, and to see the baby.'

  'Are you sure?' Bella asked. 'Don't you want a little time to yourselves?'

  Percy guffawed. 'In our house? You must be joking!'

  Bella looked at Ronnie. 'Can you come, Ron?'

  He hesitated for a moment, until Michael said eagerly, 'We can have a kick-about on the green near their house if you do.'

  Ronnie brushed his hand through his nephew's dark hair. 'Well, why not?'

  'You fancy coming down the pub now for a quick one?' Percy asked eagerly. 'Just for a bit of Dutch courage before I go home.'

  'That good is it?' Ronnie chuckled as Percy kissed Bella goodbye.

  'Thanks for the cuppa. See you tomorrow, then.'

  Bella went to the door and watched the two men go up the airey steps. Would visiting Dolly tomorrow be uncomfortable for Ron? It was almost Christmas. In January it would be a year since Joyce died. But perhaps this drink with Percy would put Ron at ease as he helped a friend in need.

  What was Ron going to do at Christmas? she wondered next. Should she offer to cook dinner upstairs? Or would Ron want to be by himself? Sean and Ashley were going to Switzerland on holiday. She knew they had tried to persuade Ron to go with them, but he had refused all their offers.

  'Uncle Ron asked me what I'm going to do when I leave school,' Michael said, interrupting her thoughts, as he wiped his dirty cheeks with the back of his cuff.

  'What did you tell him?'

  'I said I wanted to be a builder like him.'

  Bella looked at her son in surprise. 'Is that true?'

  'The first house I'm going to build is for Granny, Teresa and Uncle Gus. Then a huge one for Auntie Dolly and Uncle Percy. And if you want a house, Mum, I'll build one for you, too.' He grinned. 'Is tea ready yet?'

  Bella loved the way her son was so thoughtful to other people, certainly a trait he hadn't inherited from his father. 'Yes, but go and wash your dirty face first.'

  She was about to go to the kitchen when the door opened again. Expecting to see either Ron or Percy saying they had forgotten to tell her something, this time it was Micky. His immaculate dark hair was a ruffled mess and he looked as though he hadn't shaven or washed in days.

  'Micky, whatever is the matter?' She hurried towards him.

  'I'm in trouble,' he muttered as he closed the door hurriedly.

  'What kind of trouble?'

  'It's that bastard McNee.'

  Bella felt the blood drain from her face; the name sent a chill down her spine. 'I thought he was gone from our lives.'

  'So did I. But he's back again. I need money to pay him off. How much did you bring home from the coffee bar?'

  'None – none at all.'

  'You're lying!' He took hold of her and began to shake her. 'Let's see your purse.'

  With shaking fingers, she did as he told her. 'Here, you can have it all if you need it that bad.'
/>   He swept the few notes into the air. 'A couple of quid will go nowhere. You must have more than that.'

  'Dad! You're hurting Mum!' Michael tried to come between them.

  'It's all right, Michael,' Bella said managing to free herself. 'Go and eat your tea in the kitchen. I want to talk to your dad.'

  He walked reluctantly away and when he had gone, she looked angrily at Micky. 'Can't you see you're frightening us, Micky? You promised me you'd never do that again.'

  But Micky just stared at her wild-eyed, then he pushed past her and went to their bedroom. As she stood wondering what to do next, she heard the clatter of drawers and things being thrown around. When at last he reappeared, she was truly worried he was going to attack her. What could she defend herself with? There was only the poker. She stepped towards it and picked it up.

  'You wouldn't dare!' Micky said contemptuously.

  She felt her body tremble, but she wasn't going to let her fear show. 'Get out Micky, there's no money here.'

  For a moment she thought he was going to hit her, but instead he laughed in his mad way; this was not normal laughter, Bella realised, it was deranged. Then, without a word more, he stormed out of the airey.

  Bella sank down on the chair and dropped the poker to the floor. Michael came in and she knew he had witnessed everything. He knelt beside her and hugged her. There were tears in his eyes and she knew that nothing that she could say would put right what he had seen and heard today.

  The following day, Ronnie drove them to Dolly's. Bella had had a sinking feeling ever since Micky had left last night. She needed to share her thoughts with Ronnie, but this visit to the Shine's was meant to be a happy occasion. Ron was making a very big effort to join in the celebration of Percy's newly born son and heir and she didn't want to spoil it.

  Percy looked like a man under siege when he opened the front door. He was surrounded by little girls, all struggling to get past him. He raised his eyes to the ceiling as his family began to jump up and down with excitement when they saw who it was.

  'Come in, come in,' Dolly cried from inside the house and with a sweep of his arm and a wry smile, Percy showed them the way. There was hardly any space to move, let alone sit in the front room. Mrs Taylor had given up her chair for Dolly who was nursing the baby. The four girls began talking and shouting at once and the baby, wrapped in a big white shawl, started to scream.