Home on the Ranch: Montana Redemption

by Amanda Renee

  “I can’t believe this.” Ryder stood and paced the length of the room. “My mom had an affair. With who?”

  “That’s the next part.” Chelsea looked up at him. “Are you sure you don’t want to read the rest of this by yourself? It’s extremely personal.”

  “No.” He shook his head. “Please.” He motioned to the letter but remained standing in the middle of the room.

  Tori drew her knees to her chest as Nate wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close.

  “The details of who or why no longer matter. What matters is I was the trigger. I had already been drinking. Started when you boys were only toddlers. A nip here, a nip there. Pretty soon those nips became bottles.

  “Your father should have called me out. Oh Lord how I wish he had, but I begged and pleaded with him not to. And then I cheated. His stubborn pride refused him to allow anyone else to know what I had done. I broke our wedding vows, broke him and thus began the destruction of our family. Where I drank to drink, Frank drank to forget the pain I caused him, therefore inflicting his own brand of personal hell. By the time you moved back home after your marriage ended, our marriage was in name only. Neither one of us had been strong enough to walk away...until the night of your father’s death.

  “My details of that night are sketchy at best. Things I thought I remembered turned out to be only a dream. Alcohol addiction does that to you. But I do remember your father and I sitting down that afternoon and deciding to end our marriage. We couldn’t do it anymore. Wes wouldn’t come home. You were miserable, and we knew Dylan, Garrett and Harlan would learn the truth soon enough. We were slowly killing each other, and it was only a matter of time before you or someone else called the police on us. We had made the right decision. We needed help, but we needed to get help separately.”

  Ryder crouched on the floor and covered his face. Chelsea’s gaze met Nate’s, and he nodded for her to continue.

  “I saw your father cry for the first time that night. He loved you boys so much and the guilt of how he treated you ate away at his soul. He loved me, too, even after what I’d done. So we opened one more bottle. Had one more drink. And ended our marriage.

  “If you know anything about alcoholics, you know it doesn’t end at one drink. Or one bottle. We drank. We cried. And your father begged me to stay. But I couldn’t. That’s where things begin to fade for me. I believe this is when you came home. I remember you yelling and Tori screaming. I remember Frank pulling me back in the house, and then it goes black.

  “You got in the truck that night to escape the pain we had created. It wasn’t your fault. It was ours. Ryder, I need you to forgive yourself for that night, just as I forgave you. I can only ask for your forgiveness in return, but I’ll understand if that’s not possible.

  “I’ve spent years working on my recovery. It’s a never-ending process, but I can honestly say I’ve been sober since that dreadful night. After receiving an invitation to Wes’s wedding, I decided this was the right time to see the five of you since you’re all living in Saddle Ridge again. It’s my hope that these letters will bring you boys together, so you can celebrate your ever-growing families as a family. I’ll be staying with Harlan beginning Friday, October 5. I’m coming alone, and my stay is open-ended. I pray I’ll see you there, alongside your brothers.

  “I love you with all my heart. Just as your father did.

  “Mom.”

  Chelsea refolded the pages and tucked them back in the envelope. Ryder slowly rose to his feet, his eyes glassy with tears he refused to cry.

  “I don’t believe this,” Tori said from behind her hands. “She doesn’t remember.”

  “She remembers everything she needs to remember.” Ryder nudged the ottoman and sat down on it in front of her. “She may not remember how we helped her that night, but she remembered everything leading up to it. Things I could never have imagined. It doesn’t matter now what she’s forgotten.”

  And there it was. The knowing glance shared amongst the three of them. But it was Ryder’s words that told her everything she needed to know: she may not remember how we helped her that night... Bernadine Slade ran over her husband. Ryder was innocent.

  Chapter 9

  Tori’s pickup truck spit and sputtered all the way to the auto parts store. And so did Ryder, only he was spitting and sputtering four-letter words. “How the hell did Tori even drive this thing?” He didn’t know when it last had a tune-up, but today was its lucky day. It didn’t matter if it took him all night. At least it would keep his mind off his brothers and the shock they were about to receive. As much as he wanted to warn them, to cushion the blow somehow, they needed to hear it from their mother. Not him.

  It had been three days since Chelsea read his mother’s letter. He’d wondered if it had held a confession exonerating him, but she’d only confirmed what he’d already known in his heart. She didn’t remember driving the truck. The guilt would have killed her if she had. And he’d had five and a half years to make peace with the fact he’d done the right thing.

  Harlan had asked what the letter said, but Ryder told him he wasn’t ready to talk about it. He wanted his brothers to have the chance to read and absorb their own letters before discussing it. Just because his mother had said she’d mail them two days later didn’t mean she had. Especially when you factored in the weekend. They’d arrive soon if they arrived at all. Maybe she’d chickened out or maybe she wanted to tell everyone in person when she arrived tomorrow.

  Ryder still couldn’t believe she was coming home. He’d tentatively accepted Harlan’s invitation to dinner, figuring he’d gauge his brothers’ reactions at the door. If it looked bad, he’d walk away.

  A half hour later, Ryder had a crate full of parts, oil, fluids and filters. By the time he finished, Tori’s demon on wheels would purr like a kitten. He almost finished crossing the parking lot when he saw Wes standing by the tailgate of the truck. Hesitating for a second, he wondered if his brother was moments away from punching him again.

  “I come in peace.” Wes held up his hands in surrender as Ryder dropped the crate in the bed of the truck.

  “Were you looking for me or is this meeting just a coincidence?”

  “I went to the ranch first and Tori told me you’d headed into town. I drove around until I found you.”

  “You can put your hands down, Wes.” Ryder looked around the parking lot. “People will think I’m robbing you. I have a bad enough reputation around here as it is.”

  “I read Mom’s letter.”

  Ryder pushed his hat back, trying to gauge his brother’s reaction, but he’d always been good at remaining emotionless. It had come in handy around their father.

  “Did she tell you she sent me one, too?”

  Wes nodded. “I had no idea about Dad. Did you?”

  “Not the faintest idea. He hid it well.” Ryder still didn’t know how he’d missed the signs of their father’s alcoholism, especially since he could tell his mother had been drinking by looking at her. He’d seen the man with a drink on occasion, but he’d never appeared outwardly drunk. Of course there had always been liquor in the house, but he’d always assumed that was Mom’s. He’d heard the phrases closet alcoholic and even functioning alcoholic before. Now he understood them. “Did she tell you about the affair?”

  “Hers or his?” Wes asked.

  “Both.”

  Wes nodded. “Out of all the fights they’d had, you’d think we would have heard she’d had an affair. Especially when she threw Dad’s in his face all the time. I thought about this a lot last night. There were signs, but we missed them. I mean, look at Dad. You can pinpoint when he changed. That summer Uncle Jax stayed with us.”

  “Mom and Uncle Jax?” The man had been like a second father to all of them. He’d even visited Ryder in prison. “It couldn’t have been.”

  “Think about it. Things were never r
ight after that summer.”

  Ryder remembered camping and fishing trips that summer...just with his brothers and their dad. “Oh my God. When Uncle Jax stayed behind with Mom.”

  “Exactly.” Wes slapped the side of the pickup truck. “That had to have been what happened. It must have shattered him. His wife and his brother. The two people he should have been able to trust more than anyone.”

  “That doesn’t make him blameless. He should have divorced Mom. Or if Mom had been that unhappy that she had felt the need to screw around, she should have divorced Dad. They’re both at fault.”

  Ryder wanted to scream. He and Wes had taken the brunt of their parents’ stubborn, foolish pride. Two people who had once loved each other so deeply had turned their lives into a living hell.

  “Maybe they stayed because they thought they could make it work.”

  “We can’t make assumptions about them.” He’d spent most of his life doing just that. “The only way we’ll get that answer is by asking Mom.”

  “How is that supposed to work? She flies into town tomorrow, and we say, ‘Hey Mom, good to see you, why did you and Dad stay in a loveless marriage’?”

  Ryder nodded. “Exactly. That’s exactly what we do. I spent five and a half years in jail because our parents couldn’t get it together. Mom wants forgiveness, I want answers.”

  “I can’t put all the blame on them. I kept taking off because I couldn’t deal with the fights anymore. Every single thing was a fight down to how much ketchup I put on my scrambled eggs in the morning.” Wes threw his hands in the air. “I feel guilty for staying away and leaving you to deal with it and I feel guilty for feeling relieved once it was over.” He swiped at his eyes. “I was a coward. I ran and hid.”

  “No, don’t say that.” Ryder would never blame his brother for wanting to escape the hell that had become their family. “You didn’t hide. No one hides on the back of a bull. You were making a life for yourself. There was nothing wrong with that.”

  “I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you.”

  “Wes, you don’t have to apologize.”

  “Yes, I do, because I’m so angry at myself for believing you ran over Dad on purpose. I know you said it was an accident, but in the back of my mind you did it on purpose, maybe in a flash of anger, and I couldn’t forgive you. But if I’m being honest with myself, deep down I was also glad. I was glad you did something when I couldn’t. And none of it was your fault. None of it was Mom’s fault and none of it was Dad’s fault. It was because they had a damned disease and it took over their lives. Our lives.”

  “Wes, you have to stop. This ends with us. You and I were the last two to live in that house. We can either spend the rest of our lives beating ourselves up for missing the signs or accept we now know the truth. I’m assuming if you received your letter then Harlan, Dylan and Garrett received theirs. Now we all know what happened between Mom and Dad, and how it affected us. Once and for all, can we just put an end to the nightmare?”

  Wes pulled him into a hug. “Yeah, it’s over. It’s over.” He patted Ryder on the back and released him. “I’m getting married in a little over a week, and I’d really like you to be there. Harlan’s my best man and Dylan and Garrett are my groomsmen, but I’d like you to be up there, too.”

  Ryder hadn’t expected an invitation let alone to be a part of the ceremony. He’d fully intended on sneaking onto the Silver Bells Ranch and watching from afar, but this...it was more than he ever could have hoped for.

  “I would be honored to be your groomsman.”

  “Oh, and this Sunday we’re having a big family get-together at the ranch. A pre-wedding celebration, why don’t you come and bring Chelsea. I don’t know what the story is between you two, but Belle and Harlan say she’s really nice. Besides, you need to meet my kids.”

  He didn’t know what Chelsea was either. They hadn’t spoken since the night she’d read the letter. He’d asked her for time to process everything and she’d told him to call her when he was ready. He finally felt hope for the future and he’d love her to be a part of it.

  “I’ll be there.”

  Ryder had thought all this would be over the day he walked out of the state penitentiary, but it hadn’t truly ended until now. He had his brother back. And hopefully Dylan and Garrett would follow suit. They had never carried the animosity Wes had, but they’d kept their distance. Tomorrow they’d have their mom. And maybe they’d have all the answers they needed.

  * * *

  “Did I just see what I think I saw?” Chelsea called across the parking lot as Ryder slid behind the wheel of the pickup. She’d waited for Wes to leave before crossing the street.

  “Where did you come from?” Ryder stood, bracing himself on the door.

  “I was leaving the office supply store when I saw you.” The strain from the past few days had left dark shadows beneath his eyes. “I won’t ask you what Wes said but judging by what I saw, you two have made some progress.”

  “Better than that, he asked me to be a groomsman with my brothers at his wedding next weekend.”

  “That’s wonderful!” Chelsea reached up and gave him a hug. “It’s finally happening. You’re getting everything you wanted. I’m so happy for you.”

  “Almost everything.” He spun her around until her back was against the open door. Wordlessly he guided her to the edge of the driver’s seat, shielding her from the rest of the world’s view. “I’ve wanted to do this for a long time and now I feel like I finally can.”

  His mouth claimed hers as his soft, yet demanding lips echoed his words. His tongue urged her to open to him, melding them as one with each gentle stroke. Chelsea gripped his shirt, wanting to pull him closer. Wanting to show him how he made her feel. But the parking lot of an auto parts store wasn’t the place and the middle of the afternoon wasn’t the time.

  “Ryder,” she panted, needing to create some distance between them. “I have to get back to work.” She silently prayed the short walk to the office would give her a chance to cool down.

  “I’m sorry. I just couldn’t wait another minute to do that.” Ryder stepped away from the door frame, giving her the chance to adjust her skirt. “And for the record... I have more exploration in mind.”

  “So that’s what we’re still calling this?” She straightened and stepped away from the truck.

  “Yeah, about that... Wes invited us to a big family get-together on Sunday at the Silver Bells Ranch. Wes, Garrett and Dylan own the place together. My entire family will be there including all my nieces and nephews, some of whom I’ve never met. I would love it if you and Peyton went with me. We can even go horseback riding.”

  “Yes! That sounds great. I look forward to meeting your family.”

  “Good, then it’s a date.” Ryder leaned forward and whispered in her ear, “From now on, I consider everything we do together a date.”

  “I think I can live with that.” Chelsea’s body thrummed thinking about all the other things they could do on their dates. “Listen, I promised Peyton I would take her to that pizza place arcade in Kalispell tonight. Would you like to meet us there? We could blow off some steam.”

  “I haven’t been to that place since I was a teenager. I used to love it there.” Ryder’s dimples made her heart flutter every time she saw them. “Are you sure it’s a wise idea for me to be around Peyton like that? What if she says something to her friends?”

  “I think meeting you there will make it more of a casual outing. I’m not too worried about her saying anything to her friends anymore. Once people see you with your brothers at the wedding, the rest of the town will quickly come around. How could they not?”

  “I hope you’re right.” He smoothed a piece of her hair back into place. “It will be nice to return to some semblance of normal.”

  “Besides, like I told you the other night, not everyone hates you. I
think that may be more your perception and the guilt you’ve been carrying. Once you see your mother, a lot of that may go away.”

  “Speaking of my mother, I’m going to Harlan’s tomorrow night to see my mom and my brothers. I would invite you—”

  “Oh no.” Chelsea shook her head. “I would never dream of intruding on that moment. If you need to talk afterward, I’m available. Peyton has an overnight school trip. The first one I’m not chaperoning, but Tori is so I’m okay with it. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.”

  “I might take you up on that.” Ryder kissed her lightly on the mouth, then spun her away from him. “Now go to work before we both get in trouble.”

  “I’ll text you about tonight a little later,” Chelsea called over her shoulder.

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  If she hadn’t been wearing three-inch heels, she probably would’ve skipped all the way back to the office. She ducked into the ladies’ room before heading to her desk, wanting to make sure she didn’t look like the wild, wanton woman raging inside her. No man had ever made her heart race and ache at the same time. Hopefully after this weekend he’d be more willing to open up and tell her the truth about the night his father died. Because now more than ever, she was determined to clear his name.

  “Mommy, look! Ryder’s here.”

  Peyton’s enthusiasm erased any second thoughts she’d had about inviting him tonight. She didn’t want her daughter to feel she had to compete for her attention, but she wanted to see the two of them interact without anyone else they knew around.

  “What do we have here?” Ryder signed as he straddled the metal picnic-style bench and faced Peyton. “Just two of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen.”