The Engagement Arrangement

by Jaci Burton

  She rolled her eyes, then thought for a few seconds. She should stay out of it. Then again, when had she ever stayed out of things she should have? As soon as he hung up she walked over to him.

  “What do you want, Brenna?”

  “I hear you’re having a baby. Congratulations.”

  He frowned. “Who told you that?”

  “Allison did. She’s really happy about it. Maybe you could be, too.”

  “She told you I wasn’t happy?”

  “She did.”

  “She told you I wasn’t happy.”

  “Yes.”

  “Damn.” He sat on the sofa and stared down at the floor. “It was a shock. I wasn’t expecting it.”

  Brenna took a seat in the chair. “Neither was she. But she’s so thrilled and she obviously loves you, so maybe you can show some excitement about it. You love her, don’t you?”

  He lifted his gaze to hers. “I really do.”

  She saw the truth of that on his face and realized she was happy to see it. Allison wasn’t his trophy wife or his rebound. He loved her, and she was relieved, for Allison’s sake.

  “Then it’s time for you to get ready to be a daddy, Mitchell. And show your wife some actual emotion about it. I know it’s not what you expected, but wow, you’re going to be a dad. How thrilling is that?”

  He sucked in a deep breath. “Yeah. I can’t believe she talked to you about it.”

  “I’m a good listener.”

  His lips curved. “That means the two of you made up, huh?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then I won’t have to hear her complain about you anymore?”

  “Mitchell . . .”

  He held up his hands. “Fine. I’ll be the excited father-to-be. And I’ll buy my wife some flowers tomorrow.”

  “You do that. Maybe consider a baby gift to go along with the flowers.”

  He frowned. “Baby gift? Like what?”

  She pulled out her phone and quickly looked up generic but adorable onesies at a local baby store. “Like this. At this store.”

  He grabbed the link and put it on his phone. “Okay. Good idea. Thanks, Brenna.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “And Brenna?”

  “Yes?”

  “I’m sorry.”

  She frowned. “For what?”

  “For . . . everything, I guess. I did it all wrong with you. I’m trying to do it better with Allison, even though it doesn’t appear that way.”

  “Hey, don’t worry about it. I want only the best for you and for Allison. And I’m really happy about the baby.”

  He managed a smile. “Thanks.”

  She stood and walked away, shaking her head. Mitchell would always be who he was, but maybe fatherhood would mellow him.

  One could only hope.

  She went back outside where the entire group had gathered. The night was cool and it was absolutely perfect on the patio.

  Finn appeared by her side and slipped his hand around her waist.

  “Where’ve you been?”

  “Mending old wounds and doing a little damage control.”

  At his curious look, she added, “We’ll talk later.”

  He kissed her temple. “Okay.”

  They all snacked on amazing food and chatted and Brenna finally relaxed and had a great time. She felt an immense sense of relief because she and Allison had finally cleared the air. She could only hope that Mitchell would come around and start acting like a human being capable of feelings.

  The party wound down around ten since it was a work night. They said their good-byes and headed out to Brenna’s car. Finn only had one beer earlier while Brenna had a few glasses of wine, so he drove them back home.

  On the drive home she thought about Mitchell, of all the ways he had never changed. And how hard it was to make relationships work. Brenna and Finn got along so well. But would that last? She and Mitchell had started out on a good path, and then it had all gone to hell in a matter of months. Wouldn’t it stand to reason that the same thing would happen to her and Finn?

  They still had so much to talk about. And that conversation scared the hell out of her.

  Finn parked in front of her house, then turned to face her.

  “Wanna tell me what went on with you and Allison? I saw the two of you talking. Did you have a big fight?”

  She unlocked her seat belt so she could shift around to look at him. “The opposite, actually. We had a long talk and everything’s good between us now.”

  He gave her a dubious look. “Just like that.”

  “Well, it wasn’t exactly like that, but she had a problem and asked for my help.”

  “And you didn’t tell her to stick it.”

  She offered up a smile. “No.”

  “What kind of problem would she need your help with?”

  “It had to do with Mitchell, so we talked it over for a while and hopefully things will resolve for the two of them.”

  “Oh. She’s having issues with her marriage.”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “You’re not really saying anything.”

  “She asked me not to. I’m sorry.”

  “Okay. I get it. I won’t ask you to betray a confidence. Do you feel better about Allison now?”

  “Yes.”

  “Nothing else matters, then.”

  They got out of the car and Finn walked her up the steps to the front door, popping it open to gently call for Murphy, who came bounding out.

  “Thanks for coming with me tonight,” she said.

  “Hey, no problem.”

  She twirled the claddagh ring around her finger. She’d gotten used to wearing it, to seeing it on her finger every day. It had become a part of her. And every time she looked at it, felt it, it gave her a feeling of permanence. She felt Finn whenever she saw it.

  But it didn’t belong to her. He didn’t belong to her. And every day since that day on the boat, she had felt a sense of unease, a feeling that any moment this whole thing was going to come crashing down on top of her.

  She hesitated, then pulled the ring off and held it out to Finn.

  He frowned. “What the hell did you do that for?”

  “The reasons for wearing it are over. Allison and I made up, Esther and Brock’s wedding is long past and we don’t have to pretend to be a couple anymore.”

  “Is that what we’ve been doing, Brenna? Pretending to be a couple?”

  “I—” She looked at him, not knowing what to say, wishing he would say something so she wouldn’t have to. “I don’t know. Maybe. We’re not engaged, Finn. We were just playacting.”

  “So this whole time with you there were no real feelings involved. You just needed me to act like your fiancé, and now that it’s over, we’re done.”

  This wasn’t going like she planned. Maybe seeing Mitchell tonight, and Allison so miserable, reminded her of all she’d gone through before, of what she never wanted to go through again. “I didn’t say that. We could still—hang out, you know.”

  “Hang out. Like buddies.”

  “Something like that.”

  “I’ve got bros, Brenna. You’re not one of them. I thought there was more to us than just being friends. Was I wrong?”

  Her heart pounded against her chest as she realized she was dangling at the edge of a cliff. She could do two things right here—tell him how she really felt about him, or walk away. And the thought of opening her heart to the possibility of hurt again was too terrifying to contemplate.

  “I don’t know, Finn. I have a lot going on in my life. I’m set in my ways. And you have ambitions and things you want to do with yours. I just don’t think we’re compatible.”

  “I see.” He fisted the ring in his hand and shoved it into his po
cket. “I’m so glad you made this decision for us, Brenna. That you know I have ambitions and things I want to do with my life. Because you’re right about that. And clearly you don’t see yourself in my life anymore. Good to know.”

  “Finn—”

  “No. You’re always the one who has things to say. Now it’s my turn. I do have plans for my life. I want to start a whiskey business. Buy some land of my own. Build a bigger house. Get married and raise a family. And I thought at some point you and I could talk about those plans together, because I love you, Brenna. I’ve probably been in love with you since I was eighteen years old, since I first stepped foot on the property here and saw you standing there, all mad and defiant about some strange boy coming to live in your house. I fell in love with your spirit and your beauty and how smart you were. And then you married that jackass and I tried not to love you then, but I still did.

  “I was still in love with you after your divorce when I’d catch you crying out in the garden or holed up in the library for hours on end. And when you and I got together it was like a dream to me. Your sassiness, your laugh, all of that wrapped around me and made me the happiest man around. And I thought—okay, we’ve got a chance, you and I. A chance to have something amazing together. But you never really gave me the chance, Brenna, because you were too afraid of your past to build a future with me.

  “And if you want out, then I feel bad for you because I’m the best damn thing to ever happen to you. You go live your life and I’ll go live mine. Good-bye, Brenna.”

  He turned and walked down the steps of the porch, Murphy wagging his tail as he followed behind him.

  Brenna waited for the words to come out to yell at Finn to stop, to tell him that she’d made a huge mistake. But the words never came. She just stood there and watched him drive away while she rubbed the naked spot on her finger where Finn’s ring used to be, those sweet words he’d said to her still ringing in her ears, still wrapped around her heart. And she still couldn’t move her feet, couldn’t take those steps to stop him.

  Finally, after what seemed like hours, she went inside, closed and locked the door and walked upstairs to her room. She sat on the bed, feeling as empty as she had ever felt in her life, as if there were a hole right through the center of her heart.

  What had she done?

  CHAPTER

  • • • • • •

  thirty

  WAIT . . . WHAT? SHE broke up with you?”

  Finn nodded at Jason and took another long chug of his ale.

  “What the hell did she do that for?” Clay asked.

  “I guess she doesn’t feel the same way I do.”

  “That’s bullshit,” Owen said. “Hang on, I’ve got a customer.”

  Owen wandered off while the rest of them sat at a table at the Screaming Hawk.

  “Okay,” Jason said. “Tell us everything that happened.”

  He went over it again, step-by-step—at least the steps he could piece together since none of it made sense to him.

  “But you love her,” Owen said.

  He stared miserably into his glass. “Yeah.”

  “Then fight for her,” Jason said. “Don’t let her go that easily.”

  “Brenna’s stubborn. She thinks she knows what she wants.”

  “Then . . . maybe make it harder for her to have you,” Clay said.

  Finn frowned. “What? Nah. I don’t play games like that. She either wants to be with me or she doesn’t. That’s her choice. The last thing I’m gonna do is start dating other women and parade them in front of her. That would hurt her and I don’t want to do that.”

  “No, I don’t mean it like that. You’ve been there at the vineyard the whole time, since you were eighteen. She knew you were always there for her. If she changes her mind, you’ll be right there. Like always.”

  “Oh, I get it,” Owen said. “What if you weren’t there, ready to take her back in a hot minute?”

  “Yeah,” Jason said. “You know what they say about absence. What if you’re not there when she decides she wants to talk this all out? Make her realize what she’s missing. Who she’s missing.”

  Maybe not a terrible idea. And Finn could use a break. Clear his head. He never took time off. And he had just the location in mind.

  He looked up at his friends and smiled for the first time in days. “You’re all very smart.”

  “We have to be,” Owen said. “Because you’re a dumbass.”

  He laughed, and started to formulate a plan in his mind.

  * * *

  • • • • • •

  IT HAD BEEN a week since Brenna had broken up with Finn. Three days since she’d even seen him wandering around the property. She appreciated that he hadn’t come around to talk to her, that he’d given her space.

  But did she really appreciate it, or was she just trying to convince herself of that? Because the next day she figured he’d come around and tell her again what a colossal mistake she’d made. And then they’d talk and she’d agree with him, tell him yes, she’d been afraid and she’d apologize. She’d beg him to take her back. He’d forgive her, they’d kiss and make up and all would be right again.

  Instead, he’d been nowhere to be found. Or the day after that or the day after that. Not that she’d gone looking for him or anything, because she wouldn’t do that. After all, they were broken up. And he needed his space as much as she needed hers.

  But where was he, anyway?

  He hadn’t shown up to the house for meals, which she could understand given how awkward that would have been, facing each other at the table. But still, where the hell was he?

  And why was Murphy staying at the house? Shouldn’t he be at Finn’s? For the past few days the dog had been at the house—her constant companion—following her around like he was a little lost, not knowing what to do without Finn. Very odd. Though she found Murphy’s presence comforting.

  She knew exactly how Murphy felt. She’d asked her dad why the dog was here and his only response was to say they were dog sitting, making her wonder what was going on.

  Not that it was any of her business, she decided as she finished up her paperwork for the day. She put everything away and wandered into her mother’s office.

  “What’s up?” she asked her mom.

  “Nothing much. Just working on these balance sheets. What’s up with you?”

  “Oh, nothing.” She leaned against the doorway. “I noticed Murphy has been staying here.”

  “Mmm-hmm.” Her mom studied her laptop.

  “Any reason why?”

  “Why what?”

  “Why is Murphy here, Mom?”

  “Oh. We’re watching him for Finn.”

  “I see.” She studied her nails. “And why is that?”

  Nothing. Her mother ignored her. Damn.

  “Mom.”

  Her mother tore her gaze from her laptop. “What?”

  “Why are we watching Murphy?”

  “Because Finn isn’t here.”

  “Obviously.” It was like pulling teeth. “Where is he?”

  “He took a vacation, Brenna. And if you hadn’t broken up with him you’d be aware of that.”

  Ouch. Straight to the heart, Mom.

  “You didn’t even ask me if Finn had done something terrible to me. If he’d broken my heart or cheated on me.”

  Her mother’s response was to cock her head to the side and give her a look that told her she was being ridiculous.

  “Really, Brenna? It’s like you think I don’t know Finn as well as I know my own three daughters. Did he break your heart or cheat on you?”

  Now she was backed into a corner. “Well, no.”

  “Do you want to talk to me about what happened? Because I don’t recall you coming to me wanting a heart-to-heart talk about breaking up with the ma
n you love.”

  She lifted her chin. “I don’t recall saying I loved him.”

  Her mother slanted a look her way. “You were just playing with the boy this whole time.”

  “I didn’t say that, either.”

  “Then what are you saying?”

  Defeated, she walked in and flopped into the chair. “That I’m a disaster and I made a mess out of my relationship with Finn.”

  “He wasn’t too happy about it, either, when he came to your father and me. Asked us for some time off to travel and clear his head. Do you know he’s never once taken a vacation, despite your da and I asking him to?”

  She sighed, feeling guiltier by the second. “I was not aware of that.”

  “He asked for three weeks, Brenna.”

  Her heart sank. “Three weeks?”

  Her mother nodded.

  Three weeks was a very long time. He could be anywhere. With anyone. Doing anything. Was he with someone else? No, he wasn’t. That wasn’t Finn.

  “Do you know where he went?”

  “Aye, I do. But I’m not sure I should tell you. You gave up that right when you broke up with him.”

  Her stomach hurt. Her heart hurt. And the realization hit that she couldn’t hide from her feelings any longer.

  Tears pricked her eyes and she couldn’t hold them back. “I love him, Mom. I haven’t even admitted that to myself until right now. And I miss him so much it feels like my heart is breaking in two. I need to find him and make this right, if I can.”

  Her mother nodded. “Now you’re starting to make some sense.”

  She wound her hands together. “So you’ll tell me where he is?”

  “Yes. All right, go get your man back, Brenna. You’ll have to swallow your pride.”

  She could do that. She’d do anything to have Finn back in her life. In any way he wanted her.

  If he wanted her back.

  CHAPTER

  • • • • • •

  thirty-one

  FINN INHALED AND let the sharp sea breeze blow over him, bringing him the calm he’d needed so badly. He stood at the edge of the cliff for the longest time, then walked back to the cottage.