To Have and to Hold

by Mary Johnston

  CHAPTER XXVII IN WHICH I FIND AN ADVOCATE

  SHE came slowly nearer the ring of now very quiet and attentive facesuntil she stood beside me, but she neither looked at me nor spoke to me.She was thinner and there were heavy shadows beneath her eyes, but shewas beautiful.

  "I stand before gentlemen to whom, perhaps, I am not utterly unknown,"she said. "Some here, perchance, have been to court, and have seen methere. Master Sandys, once, before the Queen died, you came to Greenwichto kiss her Majesty's hands; and while you waited in her antechamber yousaw a young maid of honor--scarce more than a child--curled in a windowseat with a book. You sat beside her, and told her wonderful talesof sunny lands and gods and nymphs. I was that maid of honor. MasterClayborne, once, hawking near Windsor, I dropped my glove. There were amany out of their saddles before it touched the ground, but a gentleman,not of our party, who had drawn his horse to one side to let us pass,was quicker than they all. Did you not think yourself well paid, sir,when you kissed the hand to which you restored the glove? All here, Ithink, may have heard my name. If any hath heard aught that ever Idid in all my life to tarnish it, I pray him to speak now and shame mebefore you all!"

  Clayborne started up. "I remember that day at Windsor, lady!" he cried."The man of whom I afterward asked your name was a most libertinecourtier, and he raised his hat when he spoke of you, calling you a lilywhich the mire of the court could not besmirch. I will believe all good,but no harm of you, lady!"

  He sat down, and Master Sandys said gravely: "Men need not be courtiersto have known of a lady of great wealth and high birth, a ward of theKing's, and both beautiful and pure. I nor no man else, I think, everheard aught of the Lady Jocelyn Leigh but what became a daughter of herline."

  A murmur of assent went round the circle. The Governor, leaning forwardfrom his seat, his wife's hand in his, gravely bent his head. "All thisis known, lady," he said courteously.

  She did not answer; her eyes were upon the King's favorite, and thecircle waited with her.

  "It is known," said my lord.

  She smiled proudly. "For so much grace, thanks, my lord," she said, thenaddressed herself again to the Governor: "Your Honor, that is the past,the long past, the long, long past, though not a year has gone by. ThenI was a girl, proud and careless; now, your Honor, I am a woman, andI stand here in the dignity of suffering and peril. I fled fromEngland"--She paused, drew herself up, and turned upon my lord a faceand form so still, and yet so expressive of noble indignation, outragedwomanhood, scorn, and withal a kind of angry pity, that small wonder ifhe shrank as from a blow. "I left the only world I knew," she said. "Itook a way low and narrow and dark and set with thorns, but the only waythat I--alone and helpless and bewildered---could find, because that I,Jocelyn Leigh, willed not to wed with you, my Lord Carnal. Why did youfollow me, my lord? You knew that I loved you not. You knew my mind,and that I was weak and friendless, and you used your power. I musttell you, my lord, that you were not chivalrous, nor compassionate, norbrave"--

  "I loved you!" he cried, and stretched out his arm toward her across thetable. He saw no one but her, spoke to none but her. There was a fierceyearning and a hopelessness in his voice and bent head and outstretchedarm that lent for the time a tragic dignity to the pageant, evil andmagnificent, of his life.

  "You loved me," she said. "I had rather you had hated me, my lord. Icame to Virginia, your Honor, and men thought me the thing I professedmyself. In the green meadow beyond the church they wooed me as such.This one came and that one, and at last a fellow, when I said him nayand bade him begone, did dare to seize my hands and kiss my lips. WhileI struggled one came and flung that dastard out of the way, then askedme plainly to become his wife, and there was no laugh or insult in hisvoice. I was wearied and fordone and desperate.... So I met my husband,and so I married him. That same day I told him a part of my secret, andwhen my Lord Carnal was come I told him all.... I had not met with muchtrue love or courtesy or compassion in my life. When I saw the danger inwhich he stood because of me, I told him he might free himself from thatcoil, might swear to what they pleased, whistle me off, save himself,and I would say no word of blame. There was wine upon the table, and hefilled a cup and brought it to me, and we drank of it together. We drankof the same cup then, your Honor, and we will drink of it still. Wetwain were wedded, and the world strove to part us. Which of you here,in such quarrel, would not withstand the world? Lady Wyatt, would notthy husband hold thee, while he lived, against the world? Then speak formine!"

  "Frank, Frank!" cried Lady Wyatt. "They love each other!"

  "If he withstood the King," went on the King's ward, "it was for hishonor and for mine. If he fled from Virginia, it was because I willedit so. Had he stayed, my Lord Carnal, and had you willed to follow meagain, you must have made a yet longer journey to a most distant bourne.That wild night when we fled, why did you come upon us, my lord? Themoon burst forth from a black cloud, and you stood there upon the wharfabove us, calling to the footsteps behind to hasten. We would have leftyou there in safety, and gone ourselves alone down that stream as blackand strange as death. Why did you spring down the steps and grapple withthe minister? And he that might have thrust you beneath the flood anddrowned you there did but fling you into the boat. We wished not yourcompany, my lord; we would willingly have gone without you. I trust, mylord, you have made honest report of this matter, and have told thesegentlemen that my husband gave you, a prisoner whom he wanted not, allfair and honorable treatment. That you have done this I dare take myoath, my lord"--

  She stood silent, her eyes upon his. The men around stirred, and alittle flash like the glint of drawn steel went from one pair of eyes toanother.

  "My lord, my lord!" said the King's ward. "Long ago you won my hatred;an you would not win my contempt, speak truth this day!"

  In his eyes, which he had never taken from her face, there leaped tomeet the proud appeal in her own a strange fire. That he loved her witha great and evil passion, I, who needs had watched him closely, hadlong known. Suddenly he burst into jarring laughter. "Yea, he treated mefairly enough, damn him to everlasting hell! But he 's a pirate, sweetbird; he's a pirate, and must swing as such!"

  "A pirate!" she cried. "But he was none! My lord, you know he was none!Your Honor"--

  The Governor interrupted her: "He made himself captain of a pirate ship,lady. He took and sunk ships of Spain."

  "In what sort did he become their chief?" she cried. "In such sort,gentlemen, as the bravest of you, in like straits, would have beenblithe to be, an you had had like measure of wit and daring! Your Honor,the wind before which our boat drave like a leaf, the waves that wouldengulf us, wrecked us upon a desert isle. There was no food or wateror shelter. That night, while we slept, a pirate ship anchored off thebeach, and in the morning the pirates came ashore to bury their captain.My husband met them alone, fought their would-be leaders one by one, andforced the election to fall upon himself. Well he knew that if he leftnot that isle their leader, he would leave it their captive; and nothe alone! God's mercy, gentlemen, what other could he do? I pray youto hold him absolved from a willing embrace of that life! Sunk shipsof Spain! Yea, forsooth; and how long hath it been since other Englishgentlemen sunk other ships of Spain? The world hath changed indeed ifto fight the Spaniard in the Indies, e'en though at home we be at peacewith him, be conceived so black a crime! He fought their galleons fairand knightly, with his life in his hand; he gave quarter, and whilethey called him chief those pirates tortured no prisoner and wrongedno woman. Had he not been there, would the ships have been taken lesssurely? Had he not been there, God wot, ships and ships' boats alikewould have sunk or burned, and no Spanish men and women had rowed awayand blessed a generous foe. A pirate! He, with me and with the ministerand with my Lord Carnal, was prisoner to the pirates, and out of thatdanger he plucked safety for us all! Who hath so misnamed a gallantgentleman? Was it you, my lord?"

  Eyes and voice were imperious, and in her cheeks burned an indignantcrimson. My lord
's face was set and white; he looked at her, but spokeno word.

  "The Spanish ships might pass, lady," said the Governor; "but this is anEnglish ship, with the flag of England above her."

  "Yea," she said. "What then?"

  The circle rustled again. The Governor loosed his wife's fingers andleaned forward. "You plead well, lady!" he exclaimed. "You might win, anCaptain Percy had not seen fit to fire upon us."

  A dead silence followed his words. Outside the square window a cloudpassed from the face of the sun, and a great burst of sunshine enteredthe cabin. She stood in the heart of it, and looked a goddess angered.My lord, with his haggard face and burning eyes, slowly rose from hisseat, and they faced each other.

  "You told them not who fired those guns, who sunk that pirate ship?"she said. "Because he was your enemy, you held your tongue? Knight andgentleman--my Lord Carnal--my Lord Coward!"

  "Honor is an empty word to me," he answered. "For you I would dive intothe deepest hell,--if there be a deeper than that which burns me, dayin, day out.... Jocelyn, Jocelyn, Jocelyn!"

  "You love me so?" she said. "Then do me pleasure. Because I ask it ofyou, tell these men the truth." She came a step nearer, and held out herclasped hands to him. "Tell them how it was, my lord, and I will striveto hate you no longer. The harm that you have done me I will pray forstrength to forgive. Ah, my lord, let me not ask in vain! Will you thatI kneel to you?"

  "I fix my own price," he said. "I will do what you ask, an you will letme kiss your lips."

  I sprang forward with an oath. Some one behind caught both my wrists inan iron grasp and pulled me back. "Be not a fool!" growled Claybornein my ear. "The cord's loosening fast: if you interfere, it may tightenwith a jerk!" I freed my hands from his grasp. The Treasurer, sittingnext him, leaned across the table and motioned to the two seamen besidethe window. They left their station, and each seized me by an arm. "Beguided, Captain Percy," said Master Sandys in a low voice. "We wish youwell. Let her win you through."

  "First tell the truth, my lord," said the King's ward; "then come andtake the reward you ask."

  "Jocelyn!" I cried. "I command you"--

  She turned upon me a perfectly colorless face. "All my life after I willbe to you an obedient wife," she said. "This once I pray you to hold meexcused.... Speak, my lord."

  There was the mirth of the lost in the laugh with which he turned to theGovernor. "That pretty little tale, sir, that I regaled you with, theday you obligingly picked me up, was pure imagination; the wetting musthave disordered my reason. A potion sweeter than the honey of Hybla,which I am about to drink, hath restored me beforehand. Gentlemen all,there was mutiny aboard that ship which so providentially sank beforeyour very eyes. For why? The crew, who were pirates, and the captain,who was yonder gentleman, did not agree. The one wished to attackyou, board you, rummage you, and slay, after recondite fashions, everymother's son of you; the other demurred,--so strongly, in fact, that hislife ceased to be worth a pin's purchase. Indeed, I believe he resignedhis captaincy then and there, and, declining to lift a finger againstan English ship, defied them to do their worst. He had no hand in thefiring of those culverins; the mutineers touched them off without somuch as a 'by your leave.' His attention was otherwise occupied. Goodsirs, there was not the slightest reason in nature why the ship shouldhave struck upon that sunken reef, to the damnation of her people andthe salvation of yours. Why do you suppose she diverged from the path ofsafety to split into slivers against that fortunate ledge?"

  The men around drew in their breath, and one or two sprang to theirfeet. My lord laughed again. "Have you seen the pious man wholeft Jamestown and went aboard the pirate ship as this gentleman'slieutenant? He hath the strength of a bull. Captain Percy here had butto nod his head, and hey, presto! the helmsman was bowled over, and theminister had the helm. The ship struck: the pirates went to hell, andyou, gentlemen, were preserved to order all things well in Virginia. Mayshe long be grateful! The man who dared that death rather than attackthe ship he guessed to be the Company's is my mortal foe, whom I willyet sweep from my path, but he is not a pirate. Ay, take it down, an itplease you, Master Secretary! I retreat from a most choice position, tobe sure, but what care I? I see a vantage ground more to my liking. Ihave lost a throw, perhaps, but I will recoup ten such losses with onesuch kiss. By your leave, lady."

  He went up to her where she stood, with hanging arms, her head a littlebent, white and cold and yielding as a lady done in snow; gazed at hera moment, with his passion written in his fierce eyes and haggard,handsome face; then crushed her to him.

  If I could have struck him dead, I would have done so. When her word hadbeen kept, she released herself with a quiet and resolute dignity. Asfor him, he sank back into the great chair beside the Governor's, leanedan elbow on the table, and hid his eyes with one shaking hand.

  The Governor rose to his feet, and motioned away the two seamen who heldme fast. "We'll have no hanging this morning, gentlemen," he announced."Captain Percy, I beg to apologize to you for words that were nevermeant for a brave and gallant gentleman, but for a pirate who I finddoes not exist. I pray you to forget them, quite."

  I returned his bow, but my eyes traveled past him.

  "I will allow you no words with my Lord Carnal," he said. "With yourwife,--that is different." He moved aside with a smile.

  She was standing, pale, with downcast eyes, where my lord had left her."Jocelyn," I said. She turned toward me, crimsoned deeply, uttered a lowcry, half laughter, half a sob, then covered her face with her hands. Itook them away and spoke her name again, and this time she hid her faceupon my breast.

  A moment thus; then--for all eyes were upon her--I lifted her head,kissed her, and gave her to Lady Wyatt, whom I found at my side. "Icommend my wife to your ladyship's care," I said. "As you are woman,deal sisterly by her!"

  "You may trust me, sir," she made answer, the tears upon her cheeks. "Idid not know,--I did not understand....Dear heart, come away,--come awaywith Margaret Wyatt."

  Clayborne opened the door of the cabin, and stood aside with a low bow.The men who had sat to judge me rose; only the King's favorite kept hisseat. With Lady Wyatt's arm about her, the King's ward passed betweenthe lines of standing gentlemen to the door, there hesitated, turned,and, facing them with I know not what of pride and shame, wistfulness ofentreaty and noble challenge to belief in the face and form that were ofall women's most beautiful, curtsied to them until her knee touched thefloor. She was gone, and the sunlight with her.

  When I turned upon that shameless lord where he sat in his evil beauty,with his honor dead before him, men came hastily in between. I putthem aside with a laugh. I had but wanted to look at him. I had nosword,--already he lay beneath my challenge,--and words are weak things.

  At length he rose, as arrogant as ever in his port, as evilly superb inhis towering pride, and as amazingly indifferent to the thoughts of menwho lied not. "This case hath wearied me," he said. "I will retire fora while to rest, and in dreams to live over a past sweetness. Giveyou good-day, gentles! Sir Francis Wyatt, you will remember thatthis gentleman did resist arrest, and that he lieth under the King'sdispleasure!" So saying he clapped his hat upon his head and walked outof the cabin. The Company's officers drew a long breath, as if a fresherair had come in with his departure.

  "I have no choice, Captain Percy, but to keep you still under restraint,both here and when we shall reach Jamestown," said the Governor. "Allthat the Company, through me, can do, consistent with its duty to hisMajesty, to lighten your confinement shall be done"--

  "Then send him not again into the hold, Sir Francis!" exclaimed theTreasurer, with a wry face.

  The Governor laughed. "Lighter and sweeter quarters shall be found. Yourwife's a brave lady, Captain Percy"--

  "And a passing fair one," said Claybourne under his breath.

  "I left a friend below in the hold, your Honor," I said. "He came withme from Jamestown because he was my friend. The King hath never heardof him. And he's no more a
pirate than I or you, your Honor. He is aminister,--a sober, meek, and godly man"--

  From behind the Secretary rose the singsong of my acquaintance of thehold, Dr. John Pott. "He is Jeremy, your Honor, Jeremy who made the townmerry at Blackfriars. Your Honor remembers him? He had a sickness, andforsook the life and went into the country. He was known to the Deanof St. Paul's. All the town laughed when it heard that he had takenorders."

  "Jeremy!" cried out the Treasurer. "Nick Bottom! Christopher Sly! SirToby Belch! Sir Francis, give me Jeremy to keep in my cabin!"

  The Governor laughed. "He shall be bestowed with Captain Percy wherehe'll not lack for company, I warrant! Jeremy! Ben Jonson loved him;they drank together at the Mermaid."

  A little later the Treasurer turned to leave my new quarters, towhich he had walked beside me, glanced at the men who waited for himwithout,--Jeremy had not yet been brought from the hold,--and returnedto my side to say, in a low voice, but with emphasis: "Captain Percy hasbeen a long time without news from home,--from England. What would hemost desire to hear?"

  "Of the welfare of his Grace of Buckingham," I replied.

  He smiled. "His Grace is as well as heart could desire, and as powerful.The Queen's dog now tuggeth the sow by the ears this way or that, as itpleaseth him. Since we are not to hang you as a pirate, Captain Percy,I incline to think your affairs in better posture than when you leftVirginia."

  "I think so too, sir," I said, and gave him thanks for his courtesy, andwished him good-day, being anxious to sit still and thank God, with myface in my hands and summer in my heart.