Aunt Jane's Nieces Abroad

by L. Frank Baum

  CHAPTER I

  THE DOYLES ARE ASTONISHED

  It was Sunday afternoon in Miss Patricia Doyle's pretty flat at 3708Willing Square. In the small drawing room Patricia--or Patsy, as shepreferred to be called--was seated at the piano softly playing the one"piece" the music teacher had succeeded in drilling into her flightyhead by virtue of much patience and perseverance. In a thick cushionedmorris-chair reclined the motionless form of Uncle John, a chubby littleman in a gray suit, whose features were temporarily eclipsed by thenewspaper that was spread carefully over them. Occasionally a gasp or asnore from beneath the paper suggested that the little man was"snoozing" as he sometimes gravely called it, instead of listening tothe music.

  Major Doyle sat opposite, stiffly erect, with his admiring eyes fullupon Patsy. At times he drummed upon the arms of his chair in unisonwith the music, nodding his grizzled head to mark the time as well as toemphasize his evident approbation. Patsy had played this same piece fromstart to finish seven times since dinner, because it was the only oneshe knew; but the Major could have listened to it seven hundred timeswithout the flicker of an eyelash. It was not that he admired so muchthe "piece" the girl was playing as the girl who was playing the"piece." His pride in Patsy was unbounded. That she should havesucceeded at all in mastering that imposing looking instrument--makingit actually "play chunes"--was surely a thing to wonder at. But then,Patsy could do anything, if she but tried.

  Suddenly Uncle John gave a dreadful snort and sat bolt upright, gazingat his companions with a startled look that melted into one of benigncomplacency as he observed his surroundings and realized where he was.The interruption gave Patsy an opportunity to stop playing the tune. Sheswung around on the stool and looked with amusement at her newlyawakened uncle.

  "You've been asleep," she said.

  "No, indeed; quite a mistake," replied the little man, seriously. "I'veonly been thinking."

  "An' such _beaut_chiful thoughts," observed the Major, testily, for heresented the interruption of his Sunday afternoon treat. "You thought'em aloud, sir, and the sound of it was a bad imithation of a bullfrogin a marsh. You'll have to give up eating the salad, sir."

  "Bah! don't I know?" asked Uncle John, indignantly.

  "Well, if your knowledge is better than our hearing, I suppose you do,"retorted the Major. "But to an ignorant individual like meself theimpression conveyed was that you snored like a man that has forgottenhis manners an' gone to sleep in the prisence of a lady."

  "Then no one has a better right to do that," declared Patsy, soothingly;"and I'm sure our dear Uncle John's thoughts were just the mostbeautiful dreams in the world. Tell us of them, sir, and we'll prove theMajor utterly wrong."

  Even her father smiled at the girl's diplomacy, and Uncle John, who wason the verge of unreasonable anger, beamed upon her gratefully.

  "I'm going to Europe," he said.

  The Major gave an involuntary start, and then turned to look at himcuriously.

  "And I'm going to take Patsy along," he continued, with a mischievousgrin.

  The Major frowned.

  "Conthrol yourself, sir, until you are fully awake," said he. "You'redreaming again."

  Patsy swung her feet from side to side, for she was such a little thingthat the stool raised her entirely off the floor. There was a thoughtfullook on her round, freckled face, and a wistful one in her great blueeyes as the full meaning of Uncle John's abrupt avowal became apparent.

  The Major was still frowning, but a half frightened expression hadreplaced the one of scornful raillery. For he, too, knew that hiseccentric brother-in-law was likely to propose any preposterous thing,and then carry it out in spite of all opposition. But to take Patsy toEurope would be like pulling the Major's eye teeth or amputating hisgood right arm. Worse; far worse! It would mean taking the sunshine outof her old father's sky altogether, and painting it a grim, despairinggray.

  But he resolved not to submit without a struggle.

  "Sir," said he, sternly--he always called his brother-in-law "sir" whenhe was in a sarcastic or reproachful mood--"I've had an idea for sometime that you were plotting mischief. You haven't looked me straight inthe eye for a week, and you've twice been late to dinner. I will ask youto explain to us, sir, the brutal suggestion you have just advanced."

  Uncle John laughed. In the days when Major Doyle had thought him a poorman and in need of a helping hand, the grizzled old Irishman had been astender toward him as a woman and studiously avoided any speech orepithet that by chance might injure the feelings of his dead wife'sonly brother. But the Major's invariable courtesy to the poor orunfortunate was no longer in evidence when he found that John Merrickwas a multi-millionaire with a strongly defined habit of doing good toothers and striving in obscure and unconventional ways to make everybodyaround him happy. His affection for the little man increased mightily,but his respectful attitude promptly changed, and a chance to reprove ordiscomfit his absurdly rich brother-in-law was one of his mostsatisfactory diversions. Uncle John appreciated this, and holding thedignified Major in loving regard was glad to cross swords with him nowand then to add variety to their pleasant relations.

  "It's this way, Major Doyle," he now remarked, coolly. "I've beenworried to death, lately, over business matters; and I need a change."

  "Phoo! All your business is attended to by Isham, Marvin & Co. You've noworry at all. Why, we've just made you a quarter of a million in C.H. &D's."

  The "we" is explained by stating that the Major held an importantposition in the great banking house--a position Mr. Merrick had securedfor him some months previously.

  "That's it!" said Uncle John. "You've made me a quarter of a millionthat I don't want. The C.H. & D. stocks were going to pieces when Ibought them, and I had reason to hope I'd lose a good round sum on them.But the confounded luck turned, and the result is an accumulation of allthis dreadful money. So, my dear Major, before I'm tempted to dosome-other foolish thing I've determined to run away, where businesscan't follow me, and where by industry and perseverance I can scattersome of my ill-gotten gains."

  The Major smiled grimly.

  "That's Europe, right enough," he said. "And I don't object, John, toyour going there whenever you please. You're disgracefully countryfiedand uninformed for a man of means, and Europe'll open your eyes andprove to you how insignificant you really are. I advise you to visitIreland, sor, which I'm reliably informed is the centhral jewel inEurope's crown of beauty. Go; and go whinever you please, sor; butforbear the wickedness of putting foolish thoughts into our Patsy'ssweet head. She can't go a step, and you know it. It's positive crueltyto her, sir, to suggest such a thing!"

  The Major's speech had a touch of the brogue when he became excited, butrecovered when he calmed down.

  "Why, you selfish old humbug!" cried Uncle John, indignantly. "Why can'tshe go, when there's money and time to spare? Would you keep her here tocuddle and spoil a vigorous man like yourself, when she can run away andsee the world and be happy?"

  "It's a great happiness to cuddle the Major," said Patsy, softly; "andthe poor man needs it as much as he does his slippers or his oatmeal forbreakfast."

  "And Patsy has the house to look after," added the Major, complacently.

  Uncle John gave a snort of contempt.

  "For an unreasonable man, show me an Irishman," he remarked. "Hereyou've been telling me how Europe is an education and a delight, and inthe next breath you deliberately deprive your little daughter, whom youpretend to love, of the advantages she might gain by a trip abroad! Andwhy? Just because you want her yourself, and might be a bit lonesomewithout her. But I'll settle that foolishness, sir, in short order. Youshall go with us."

  "Impossible!" ejaculated the Major. "It's the time of year I'm mostneeded in the office, and Mr. Marvin has been so kind and consideratethat I won't play him a dirty trick by leaving him in the lurch."

  Patsy nodded approval.

  "That's right, daddy," she said.

  Uncle John lay back in the cha
ir and put the newspaper over his faceagain. Patsy and her father stared at one another with grave intentness.Then the Major drew out his handkerchief and mopped his brow.

  "You'd like to go, mavourneen?" he asked, softly.

  "Yes, daddy; but I won't, of course."

  "Tut-tut! don't you go putting yourself against your old father's will,Patsy. It's not so far to Europe," he continued, thoughtfully, "and youwon't be away much longer than you were when you went to Elmhurst afterAunt Jane's money--which you didn't get. Mary takes fine care of ourlittle rooms, and doubtless I shall be so busy that I won't miss you atall, at all."

  "Daddy!"

  She was in his lap, now, her chubby arms clasped around his neck and hersoft cheek laid close beside his rough and ruddy one.

  "And when ye get back, Patsy darlin'," he whispered, tenderly strokingher hair, "the joy of the meeting will make up for all that we'vesuffered. It's the way of life, mavourneen. Unless a couple happens tobe Siamese twins, they're bound to get separated in the course ofevents, more or less, if not frequently."

  "I won't go, daddy."

  "Oh, yes you will. It's not like you to be breakin' my heart by stayin'home. Next week, said that wicked old uncle--he remoinds me of the onethat tried to desthroy the Babes in the Woods, Patsy dear. You must tryto reclaim him to humanity, for I'm hopin' there's a bit of good in theold rascal yet." And he looked affectionately at the round little manunder the newspaper.

  Uncle John emerged again. It was wonderful how well he understood theDoyle family. His face was now smiling and wore a look of supremesatisfaction.

  "Your selfishness, my dear Major," said he, "is like the husk on acocoanut. When you crack it there's plenty of milk within--and in yourcase it's the milk of human kindness. Come! let's talk over the trip."