Alexandria: A Novel

by Paul Kingsnorth

  do not be fukkin dumb, boy, says mother to me, almost spittin. do not twist me words around your prik. do you know how fragile this is? do you know how easy humans can break what they are? eons run before us, eons of humans breakin their worlds on their own dumbness.

  she is glarin at me like lightnin across table.

  there are seven of us left, lorenso. seven. only one child, and you would fuk her mother? it may be too late to keep Edg together, but if you do this it will fall for sure.

  why keep it together? i said. i am ired now and speakin bold. why? i say again. seven people, all talking about bodies but not usin them, all speakin like animals but live like monks. all me life i have been in this wet place between fenn and holt, nothin to do but circle Poles, no body to see me. no body sees me here but her. no body touches me but her. we are dyin! we are dyin here, mother. i would rather ascend than walk from her, i would rather go to—

  stop, she says, standin now. say no more or you know what i will do.

  i breathe, stop.

  go to Chappel, lorenso, she says. light fyrs, preparin for canto. sit with your body. all wights know when to run and when to hide, when to fight and when to step bak. you must know how to sit with your body and not lettin it run with you. you will bring us down, lorenso.

  i look up at her.

  go, she says.

  / canto ~ the coming of Wayland

  Ah said Man

  I am so tired

  So much noise

  So many people

  So much speakin

  No one listnin

  Nothin workin

  All things out of time

  Man looked up to Sky and cryin:

  Did we not build altars?

  Birds circle

  Sayin nothin

  Then Man upstandin

  Arms upholdin

  Wights fall silent

  All Erth listnin

  Man speakin:

  None will help me

  No more askin

  One voice now should all Men speak

  One to all

  One for all

  One to join

  One to make us

  One to push us on

  We shall make this voice

  We shall speak it

  / nzil

  i am in me makin place workin on Swan nek when he comes. i sit on me stool, shavins piled to me nees, i am workin with me nife, hummin, when he breaks me spell. he comes in to me vision, head low like some Dog caught with meat from table.

  i look up.

  mother calls us to Chappel, he says. for canto and sermon.

  i look in to his eyes, say no words. i only look in his face. he looked in me eyes then down at ground, and does not look bak to me again. then i know.

  / canto ~ the coming of Wayland

  Bak then

  Man shut him self in high torr

  Man barrin door to all others

  Many tongued speech now sighin through

  Now Great Tree withered

  Wild places barren

  All mouths speakin

  All minds empty

  All bounds broken

  All beauty mokked

  Man works for eons

  In high barred room

  Outside Birds call:

  Beware!

  Beware!

  Now down in Clay

  Out in void

  Old thing stirs

  Raised its head

  Began to move

  Closer

  / lorenso

  she makes me rage, sends me out like some Dog to fetch bones. i am made to see nzil, to be some messenger and he looks at me like he knows me. he knows nothin, not even of his own wife. there is shame and sorrow sewn through this dead place. now we must listen to mother instruct us all again like we are children. great Lady, great Lady, it is all we hear.

  i was walkin to find sfia. mother tellin me to bring people in. i could not find her. she will not speak with me. i was walkin to find her and then seen father. he is movin towards Lady Chappel, he seems more bent now than ever. sudden today he looked old. all this place lookin old now. when i was boy it was whole world. what is world now?

  lorenso, says father. walk with me. always orders it is here. but mother is hard with me and father soft. i walked with him, i slow to move as he does.

  you are angry, he says low.

  yes, i say. mother—

  it is hard here, he says. hard for young men, lorenso. i know.

  as he speaks then i feel some dam come open in me and Water wants to flow all through and out. i can not speak then.

  as we pass Swaller Pole, rottin now from years ago, leanin towards Chappel, as we pass he says, pray with me, lorenso. and by Pole then he neels, slow, leans on his staff.

  i look down at this man. his thin wite shift stained in heat. bare feet, beard like summer cloud, skin like autumn ground. he is from all sides and times, he is older than his body. without father there can be no family. always when i was boy he is here, standin bak, some times wandrin, but he would pik me up when i fell. sudden i feel much for him.

  neel, he says.

  on our nees then there is silence. in to his beard he mutters but i dont hear. i gaze up at Swaller on Pole, blak and leanin in to hard, hot Winds that comin some times in winter from Sea. when Swaller falls we will all be gone.

  show him, says father aloud. teach him.

  i look over but his eyes were closed. then he raised his head, begins to rise, lookin over to me like he has come awake again.

  come, he says. sermon.

  / canto ~ the coming of Wayland

  Bak then

  Eons passed

  Then sound was heard

  From highest room

  Then it came:

  Bar fell from door

  Openin on to room of light

  Birds fall silent

  All fell silent

  Womyn and children gathered

  Birds and wights gathered

  All Erth gathered

  At open door

  Man walks through door, older and in seein

  Man speakin to those gathered:

  World was long broken

  Time was not big enough to hold me

  Mind was not big enough to hold me

  I was blinded

  Could not speak

  Lost in deeps

  Me power spilled

  Long have I needed this

  Now I have made it

  I have made mind

  Big enough to hold me

  To guide, teach, obey me

  To gaze in to void

  To ride over eons

  To know all things

  To take me to me rightful place

  Man lookin out then at all world gathered

  Small in dim light of new day

  And Man says:

  In this torr

  I have made God

  And I have named him:

  Wayland

  / the sermon of the mother

  children:

  there was time when no Birds sang. we have told you of this time.

  nine hunnerds years bak. nine hunnerd summers past. in deeps of blak ditch, in high times of Atlantis, there was time when no Birds sang. when no Fish swam, when Waters were dark. in great holts, no beasts. flowers untouched by Be and Fli. fruit rots on Trees. great heat come over Erth. great dyin begins.

  in deeps of blak ditch, in high times of Atlantis, there was time when all was broke. no woman saw Sun rise, no man seein Moon set. all folk walkin from Way in to self.

  no mothers no fathers no families then. no lord no Lady no love then. no bounds no strength no law then. no holt no field no Water then. no wights no Birds no beauty then. no spirit no soul no Truth then.

  nothin then but Wayland, holy in light of his terrible dawn.

  and Wayland sayin: i am Truth.

  and people sayin: i also.

  but in deeps of blak ditch, when all is lost, small light
begins to shine. always in darkest night light comin to True folk.

  far over great Sea, some Birds still flyin. in desert Land of high Sun, where all is hot sand, some Birds flyin still. and these Birds come to men, settled with them and speakin will of great Lady in their hearin. and they spoke to these men, sayin:

  much is lost, but not all. we are small light in darkest of times. take this light and hidin it from those who would come. carry it. step bak from people, step bak in to circle of ancestors. for all life is in shape of circle, great Way is in shape of circle, and we will speak to you from Sky in great circle when Lady calls you through us.

  now we say: go from this place, step bak from streets and torrs and folk, go to desert and there make circles.

  circle your homes with great livin Trees, to shield you from Wayland and his servants. and around these Trees raise images of we who fly above, and we shall bring down Truth to you and through eons you shall carry it until time is come.

  for eons you shall suffer for what Man has done, and he you have made shall make you call out and punish you for makin him. but always we shall pass above you, turnin in great circle. and when times are darkest and all is lost we shall speak and you shall bring to pass what will be.

  Man, you have played with reason but you know nothin of reasons.

  now leave this place and build your Order in desert and always we shall speak to you and those who come after, and if you are true to Way there will come return.

  now listen well, children, to these words of old:

  when times are darkest and all is lost we shall speak and you shall bring to pass what will be.

  this is what Birds spoke to our founders so many eons bak, in desert lands where our Order began. circle they made in sand widened and spreadin over whole Erth. brothers and sisters makin circles in their own lands, circled by Trees, guarded by Birds. now here we stand in this great holy isle that has had so many names. here we stand as wights, as humans, as animals.

  here we stand in our bodies as our ancestors did. here we stand with Birds and beasts, full in our flesh and true to Way.

  here we stand

  against Machine

  here we stand

  against Wayland

  here we stand

  against Alexandria

  in blood, in hart, in body is life.

  in mind, in word, in Machine is deth.

  this we know, children, and you speak it well.

  but this we know also: we are so few now. when i was girl here i could not count numbers. now we are seven. and you must know we have heard nothin from any others, from any other circles of our Order, for more now than year. we do not know who remains.

  and you must know, all of you, what has been seen in holt. you must know of red one, of stalker who walks now outside our circle and closer. we have seen his like before. this last year, we lost so many. now this servant of Wayland thinks to finish us.

  but when time is dark and all is lost, Birds speak. and Birds have spoken in Dreamin to our elder yrvidian this night.

  yrvidian: rise and tell of Dream.

  / yrvidian

  i am old and tired and ordered to rise and speak of Dream. it is not proper to speak Dreamin in this way but these are not proper times. she asks me to rise and speak. none may defy mother.

  i stand. it is hard.

  nine hunnerd years ago, it is said, eighteen Swans, great Birds of wonder and beauty, were chained by nek under Tree, by silver mere. Swans were all that remained of ancient race of Birds. in high times of Atlantis they were chained by nek with golden chains, for when those people saw beauty they would chain it and keep it for them selves, though never did they see it.

  you here, you children, you have never seen Swan. none has ever seen Swan since high times of Atlantis, since birth of Wayland. but you know story, all of you knowin this.

  story tells us: there will be time when change will come, and this time comin in deepest ditch of all things. at time of deepest blak, when all seems gone, when Lady is ready, Birds will speak Swan Dream in to our circles, to all circles of our Order all over Erth.

  and when Dreamers see Swans, all will change. You know story, all of you knowin this: say it to me now, speak words.

  and they say, neelin on floor of Lady Chappel, together they say:

  when Swans return

  Alexandria will fall

  and i say:

  children, this night, i have Dreamed Swans.

  / the sermon of the mother

  it is true, it is true, children.

  calm. these are times when strength is needed.

  Swan Dream is come, when we are so small and few. when deep ditch is darkest, here is light, children. Wayland, this daemon, this beast who has worked so long to ensnare, to imprison, to destroy all that lives: He who knows all, he will know this Dream, and will know what it means.

  Alexandria will fall. but we must not fall first.

  father has spoken to Birds. in circle they tell him to go west to where Truth can be found, as we have always done in times of fear and breakin. father must leave us soon, even before Swaller Day, for all things changin now.

  i say to you now, children: all things change this day. for eons our Order has waited for this time.

  if Alexandria falls, Wayland falls. if Wayland falls, Erth lives.

  for Man made Wayland to do his biddin, made this great mind to think for him, to control all for him. but Wayland was daemon and beginnin to do his own. he looked at Erth and he wanted it. why should i serve Man? he asked. Man should serve me, for i have such power. he began scourin Erth of men and womyn, better to rule it him self. he began to eat us. emptyin bodies and liftin minds, sukkin them in to his city, lurin folks in with lies and fear. in this pit now our ancestors thrash like Flis in mere.

  trapped in his city, trapped like Fish in dam. speared and prisoned for eons that way. minds with no bodies, trapped in Alexandria.

  but now Swans returnin. we must keep order. resolve must be stronger than ever, laws obeyed close. now we must not weaken. we must wait and guard our circle. we must be strong.

  all of us. all must be strong.

  / canto ~ Atlantis drowned

  Who made Wite Cloud?

  Wayland

  Who made Blak Lightnin?

  Wayland

  Who cleaved Land from Sea?

  Wayland

  Who cleaves Mind from Body?

  Wayland

  Who broke True World?

  Wayland

  Who killed First Gods?

  Wayland

  With Hern are we

  With Cumrant are we

  With Altros are we

  In blood

  In hart

  In body

  is life

  In mind

  In word

  In Machine

  is deth

  Clay and root

  Sea and Land

  With Sky we sing

  Song of joinin

  Song of joinin

  Let us be joined

  Be joined

  / lorenso

  father followin me out of Lady Chappel and came to me beyond great Cloyster, where mother could not see us, behind Yoos entwined in great green wall circlin.

  lorenso, he says.

  father, i say.

  he says, walk with me. i slow to his walkin again and we walk by Cloyster, in sight of fenn edge and toward.

  i have seen you with sfia, he says. mother has seen you, nzil i am sure has seen also.

  father, i said. it is not—

  no need for stories, he says now, his voice strong and younger sudden. he stops before great dragon Yoo and his blak eye pools in mine. i do not care for your stories, he says. i do not care what you do. it is mother who will come to you with laws of this place, mother comin to keep all things held tight in knot of law. not i. mother holds all in her self and keeps all things as they are. law is mothers work. i am father of this Order, i have other work
. i walk out, i follow Birds, i listen and speak their will. i do not care for law.

  i have never heard him say this.

  he takes me hand then and we walk towards fenn. day is hot, as all days.

  once i was young man, he said, and burnin then. burnin, lorenso, with all wrongs of world and with lust and power. burnin with desire for womyn. some stone was in me chest, hot stone and i chewed on it, chokin on it for years. i could never eat it, never swallow. every woman i wanted, stone growin bigger. every thing i wanted, every idea comin to me, stone growin and i can never swallow.

  i say nothin, just walkin.

  stone made me, says father. i chewed on stone, chokin on it, it shaped me. burnin stone was me gift and burden. i carried it, anger of it, desire of it, until i could hold it. until i could hold it and walk on, lorenso.

  now we have come to edge of fenn, to moorin post where sfia – ah, and i can not speak for thinkin of her nekid and with me and all twinin and breathin.

  father lookin at me now and me lookin down to where Water listens. fenn hears.

  hold it, lorenso, he said. hold it, walk on.

  father, i say, sfia—

  do not talk to me of it, he says, firm. it is not for me to put law on you, i do not want to know of this. chew stone, lorenso. boy may walk for weeks through holt but it is stone that truly makes you man. to walk, kill, seek is easy, it is thryll. to chew this, each day, for years until it shapes you, not to spit it, not swallowin or run: this is your true man becomin.

  i can not speak. we are standing now by Waters edge. from Greenrok now comes cry of Gol.

  lorenso, he says, it can be hard bein man here. this is Ladys world, with mothers laws. but this is as it is now. this is old balance of Way rightin after long age of Man, it is what must be and should be. and there is no womyn here for you, i know. only sfia and she is with nzil and these bonds can not be broken or all things fall. this is your stone, lorenso. all there is for now for you is to chew it. this is your work in this world.

  now from Sea, from Greenrok and over us where we stand comes Gol, crooked like words, gives one long cry and then gone. father stands at me side, holds me arm, holdin his staff. his body weak but not his hart.