Holy Sheoly

by Hunter Blain

  The blade-wielding hand was knocked safely away from my flesh, and from where I lay, I lashed out with a snap kick. It connected with the side of his neck, stunning the creature whose face balled up in shock and pain.

  With my hand now completely inside my beanie, I reached out to snatch the blade away, when my ribs casually reminded me of how bad they had been damaged by sending a soft, almost pleasant, jolt of fire-laced electricity through my core.

  I jerked my limbs back into a fetal position, no longer able to care about anything outside the white-hot agony lancing up my nerves.

  Once again, the demon showcased his vastly superior ability to recover and brought the knife above his head with the blade pointed downward.

  Through my pain, only a single moan of defeat squeaked out as the impossibly sharp obsidian started to descend.

  Several rushing footsteps sounded, causing the demon to freeze his attack while shooting his gaze to the source of the noise, when three souls tackled him to the ground. Fists began raining down as two more souls joined in, wielding rocks in their hands.

  Strike after strike landed over the entirety of the demon’s body until fists and rocks started flinging black blood with every attack.

  The demon had been grunting with the multiple impacts, but now began to scream as bones were broken, flesh was ripped, and the reversal of slave-to-master rolls was enacted.

  Roars that had been fueled by unbridled panic lost their intensity as the souls continued to pound the demon with vengeful fists and sharp rocks.

  The attacks ceased altogether as the men and women pulled back, revealing a trembling mass of swelling flesh coated with slick black blood. The deformed monster stared with one good eye as the largest of the souls stepped forward with a chunk of boulder that took both hands to hoist over his head.

  “Hey,” I cried out to the demon victoriously, ready to deliver one of my famous one-liners. The snake let his wide eye roll down to me as I sucked in a breath to deliver the final verbal assault.

  The big rock crushed the demon’s skull with a nauseating crunch as blood as thick and dark as used motor oil flowed, freed from its prison of bone and flesh.

  “Hey!” I cried out to the big man. “I had a good one, damn it!”

  The man turned with cold eyes to regard me. There was a hatred that I could sympathize with, having been held captive by someone considerably more powerful. I knew in an instant that this huge specimen of a human had been used to being at the top of the food chain and didn’t like being reduced to nothing more than livestock.

  The Goliath, who stood around six-six, extended a hand down to me. I stared at it for a moment before understanding dawned and I grabbed his forearm. His hand tightened and he hoisted me to my feet, making me feel like I weighed nothing more than a medium-sized dog. I may have also whimpered at being moved, though relief at having won the battle did somewhat dull the pain.

  Speaking of being accustomed to being at the top of the food chain; this human just reminded me that without my celestially enhanced vampiric abilities, I was nothing more than a soul in Hell. Lilith, I missed my healing.

  One of the smaller men picked up the knife that had tumbled from the demon’s grip and held it out to the big man before me. He took it, turned it over in his hands, and then extended it out to me, handle first.

  He was telling the rest of the group that I was the leader with his simple gesture.

  I reached up and grabbed the obsidian knife while giving the big man a quick head nod in appreciation.

  I could see the rest of the group shifting uncomfortably at the exchange, and the big man spoke, “He saved us. If it wasn’t for him, we’d still be strapped to the goddamned cart.”

  Gazes flicked to one another, seeking a common consensus, and heads began to bob in affirmation to the statement.

  “What’s your name, newcomer?” the big man asked, placing a large paw on my shoulder.

  “John.”

  “Well, John, I’m Jacob,” he greeted, patting my shoulder twice before letting his lunch box–sized hand fall away.

  “How were you able to go toe to toe with that bastard?” Jacob asked, crossing his meaty arms while gesturing with his square chin toward the headless corpse.

  “Just got lucky, I guess,” I lied, not wanting to reveal who I was to a pack of strangers. I didn’t know how long I was going to be in Hell, and without my abilities. So I thought it best to play my cards close to the chest for now. Plus, I honestly didn’t know how a bunch of mortals would take finding out that their savior was a blood-sucking vampire.

  “That wasn’t luck,” Jacob stated, eyeing me up and down. I could see he was calculating the newcomer before him, sensing that he didn’t want to give everything up yet. “But I’ll take it.” In that simple statement, Jacob and I understood one another, and I instantly respected the man.

  Wincing with each step, I crouched down to the demon corpse and removed his sheath, tying the leather straps at either end around my own belt. A part of my mind wondered how I even had a belt, but decided that it didn’t matter right now.

  I scanned the building crowd as the rest of the souls were freed, including the two in the cage who needed to be supported. All eyes were on me, searching for direction.

  “Um, hi, everyone,” I announced so all could hear. No one greeted back. “How do you all feel about taking a little rest while Jacob, Stef, and I come up with a game plan?” Heads turned to one another and a wave of nods began like falling dominoes. Soon the entire group was down with the idea of resting.

  The crowd murmured to one another as smaller groups spread out and began staking claim to flat land. Jacob moved to the boulder and Stef followed suit. The rest of the souls gave us privacy as I painfully made my way to the appointed leaders, clutching at my chest as it throbbed with every step.

  Stef sat cross-legged on the boulder, wincing with her movements, while Jacob and I stood on opposite sides of the portion that jutted out almost like a table.

  Two sets of eyes regarded me, waiting for me to speak.

  “Alrighty,” I started with a sigh as I got ready to catch Jacob up on what Stef already knew about me. “So I’m new down here and am learning how things work as I go. I am more than open to any suggestions that you guys might have, but I have some friends I need to rescue.”

  “Who?” Stef asked, unable to help herself.

  “The first is Joey, who doesn’t deserve to be down here. And the other is named Baleius, and the, um, boss of Hell took him.”

  Stef shot a surprised expression at Jacob, who only narrowed his eyes as my words sank in.

  “You mean the Dev—” Stef began.

  “Shh, shh, shh!” I quickly shushed Stef while placing a hand over her mouth. Whispering, I continued, “Don’t say his name. It’s like a beacon for him.”

  Stef pulled my hand away while smacking her lips as if they tasted something off on them. “Geez, okay, old man.”

  “How do you know this? And how were you able to stand against a demon on your own?” Jacob whispered accusingly.

  Considering the two people in front of me were now my, I guess, generals or something, I decided to trust them...a little.

  I took in a deep breath and did a quick mental debate on whether what I was about to say was smart or incredibly stupid.

  “You two are aware of vampires, yes?” I looked at Stef and her outfit before quickly adding, “Who am I kidding. Of course you know.” I turned to Jacob, who was wearing the rags of a slave like the other souls around us. “What about you?”

  “I am familiar, yes,” Jacob confirmed, still unsure where I was going with my questions.

  I inhaled one more time before letting it out and saying, “I am a vampire, and was sharing a body that was infused with both an angel...and something...else.” I decided to keep things vague at the last moment.

  “Like what?” Jacob demanded, giving off the vibes that he wasn’t going to accept anything less than the full sto
ry.

  “Honestly, right now that doesn’t matter because my soul has been separated from that entity.”

  “It’s Baleius, isn’t it?” Stef asked flatly.

  “Ye...yes,” I admitted.

  “He’s a demon, isn’t he?” she continued.

  My eyes flicked back and forth between the two.

  “Yes, he is, and he’s on our side.”

  “And which side is that?” Jacob asked harshly, not liking my affiliation with a demon of Hell.

  “Look,” I barked out, throwing my hands up in frustration in a gesture that suggested they hold their horses. “There is a lot you don’t know.” As I said the words, my mind flashed to Samael trying to explain the very same premise to me.

  “Enlighten us,” Jacob urged, narrowing his eyes further.

  “Okay,” I said, placing a hand on my hip while the other aggressively rubbed at my eyes. “Long story short, the big boss man of Hades wants to kill his dear ol’ Dad and take over the attic, basement, and everything in between. Only problem for the souls caught in the squabble is that whoever wins...everyone loses, ya dig?”

  “Wha-what do you mean?” Stef asked, trying to comprehend what I was saying.

  “He means we’re collateral damage,” Jacob said, letting his features soften as he stared off into the distance, deep in thought.

  “Exactly,” I gently confirmed.

  “So what does that have to do with your demon friend?”

  “He shares my general stance on all of creation not being reduced to ashes.”

  “You’re saying a demon of Hell is willing to go against his master’s machinations?” Jacob asked, letting his eyes focus and drift back down to me. Jesus, he was tall.

  “He already did,” I said reverently, remembering his screams after saving my soul from Samael.

  “What good will it do to save your friend?” Jacob inquired pragmatically. I wanted to get angry at him, but it was a question worth asking.

  I took in another deep breath and convinced myself I had already gone this far.

  “He’s the one I merged with to become a vampire. And right now, he’s in my body, which is protected by angelic armor.”

  Both Jacob’s and Stef’s eyebrows shot up, reminding me how odd a thing it was for a vampire to have angelic armor. Would probably make for a killer Hu-Flix series (fucking hint!).

  “Yeah, I’m not, um, really dead. Well, I am undead, but my soul didn’t leave my body forcibly.”

  “What are you saying? That...tha-tha-that you meant for your soul to come to Hell?” Stef asked, leaning forward with a gaping mouth. Jacob’s eyes narrowed again.

  “Guys, I could probably write about six freaking books that you’d have to read in order to understand everything, maybe even throw in a novella or two. What you need to know is that if I don’t get my body back, there will be no one to stop Sata—I mean, Palpatine.”

  I could tell Jacob didn’t understand the reference, but could extrapolate the meaning regardless.

  “Why do you think it must be you?” he asked, but with a gentler edge. I think I was slowly winning him over to my side.

  “There’s kinda this prophecy thing that says I cause the gates of Hell to open.” Jacob’s eyes became hard and I immediately understood what he was thinking. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I said, throwing my hands up again. “The gates of Hell open when I die. That’s kinda the really important part. So don’t get it in your head that you can kill me and prevent the apocalypse. Trust me, I’ve already considered that option.” His expression went back to neutral, which was still a scowl.

  “Okay,” he finally said. “We need to get you and your demon to merge into your body again.”

  “Right,” I concurred, letting my hands slowly fall back to my sides. I winced with the movements.

  “Where do you think he would have taken him?” he asked.

  “My gut tells me Tartarus.”

  “You didn’t even know about the city until I told you,” Stef added, throwing her head back in exhaustion.

  “Trust me...I can just...I can just feel it,” I tried to explain.

  Jacob stared at me for a moment, stretching the silence before abruptly nodding his head.

  “To Tartarus,” he concluded.

  “Just like that?” Stef asked, throwing a hand up as she gawked at the huge man.

  “If I can help protect the souls of Heaven, Earth, and Hell, then I will do my part.”

  “What if...” Stef began, tasting the words she was about to speak to make sure they were ripe. “What if we can get out when the gates open?”

  “You’re willing to sacrifice all those in Heaven and Earth just to escape?” the big man stated in the guise of a question just so Stef could hear the absurdity of her notion aloud.

  With the question worded the way it was, of course Stef knew she had no ground to stand on. Instead, she brought her finger to her mouth and popped it out again while rolling her eyes.

  Scooting off the rock, she dropped the few feet and winced as she landed. I bent to catch her from falling and almost collapsed to the ground when my ribs reminded me how badly busted I was. Damn, I missed my healing. Had I said that yet? If so, it warranted repeating.

  Jacob caught us both, and it took me a few seconds to straighten myself up again.

  “You’re both injured,” the big man said, eyeing where Stef and I pressed our hands. My ribs were broken for sure, and Death Princess clutched at her lower back, limping as she walked.

  Jacob made his way to the wagon, lifted the seat to rummage through some supplies, and then walked back with a handful of what looked to be beef jerky.

  I grabbed half of what he brought and lifted it to my nose, sniffing. It didn’t seem to be seasoned with anything that I could detect, and I took an exploratory bite.

  Stef refused with a screwed-up expression on her face as if Jacob was handing her dog shit.

  I swallowed the chewy, dried meat and instantly felt a little better. I inhaled deeply and sensed my ribs were slightly healed.

  With a new appreciation for beef jerky, I shoved an entire piece into my mouth and began vigorously chewing. My ribs felt better with every mouthful I swallowed, and soon, everything Jacob had brought over was gone.

  I looked at Stef and asked over a comically impolite mouthful, “Why aren’t you eating?”

  “Have you seen any cows down here?” she asked, scrunching up her face in disgust.

  My chewing slowed and my gaze flicked between my generals. Swallowing the last mouthful, I looked at her and said, “Well...no?”

  “That’s because there are none.”

  “Okay. I don’t think I like where this is going,” I mused, still looking back and forth between the two, waiting for someone to cut to the chase.

  “It’s people,” Jacob said somberly.

  I brought a fingernail to my teeth and pried a tiny piece out, chewing it again before swallowing.

  “Oh,” I said, expecting something much worse. “You guys already forgot that part where I said I was a vampire, huh? I’m kinda used to eating...you know...people.”

  Stef made a gagging noise before storming off—her disgust briefly overwhelming the pain in her back—and gingerly moving to sit on the wagon bench.

  “What’s her deal?” I asked Jacob, who seemed much more understanding. He must have been a hunter or something who understood the necessity to eat or be eaten.

  “There are those that don’t accept the current means of survival, at least when injured,” he explained, letting his gaze drift to her. I could tell he appreciated Stef’s concern, but also saw the situation for how it was.

  “You mean souls heal by eating other souls?”

  Jacob nodded slowly, accepting the rules of the land but not liking them.

  “What about for, you know, sustenance?”

  “Souls do not need to eat to survive.”

  “Hmm, that’s weird.”

  “How so?”

  “
Demons have to eat suffering to survive, or so I’ve been told.”

  Jacob stared at me as he processed what I was saying.

  The silence stretched on for an uncomfortable amount of time, prompting me to say something to clear the air like rolling down your car windows after a particularly nasty fart.

  “So, is she going to heal if she doesn’t eat?” I asked pointing at Stef, who was pressing a palm against her lower back.

  “In time. But it will not be easy.”

  “How so?”

  “The soul is pliable, resetting after a night’s rest as long as sections of the body aren’t torn away.”

  “Why? What happens if parts of you are ripped off?”

  He looked at me, reminding me with his words that I was in the same boat. “We either stretch to replace what is missing, thinning the soul, or we eat another to fill in the gaps.”

  “Let me guess; bad things happen if we stretch too much, am I right?”

  “You are. The soul can only thin so much before the person fades from this plane.”

  “And to Sheol,” I mouthed, finishing his thought.

  “I don’t know what happens after we die while in Hell, but I have heard whispers of that place, yes.”

  “It exists, trust me,” I said, remembering the darkness and the hunting demons. At least Da was down there with Uriel to help the lost souls.

  Jacob seemed to nod at my affirmation of truth, taking me at my word.

  “So what about her? She just needs to sleep and she’ll be right as rain?”

  “I believe so, though I don’t know the extent of her injuries. It could take some time to fully heal.”

  “Unless she eats some Soylent Green?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Oh, sorry. Old movie. I mean, unless she eats some people jerky?”

  “That would help speed up her recovery, yes.”

  “Then why doesn’t she just do it?” I asked, lifting a hand in her direction before letting it drop back to my thigh with a smack.

  “The first taste is the hardest,” Jacob said, his eyes going unfocused as he relived the first time he was forced to eat people to survive.