Dear Prince Charming

by Donna Kauffman

  Mercedes sighed. “She’s right, of course.”

  “How did you let this happen?” Aurora asked plaintively. “Why?”

  Valerie felt like gutter slime, but at the same time, it was an immense relief to finally get it all out in the open, no matter the consequences. She finally sank down into the chair across from them and folded her hands in her lap. “We’d already signed the deal with Eric when he told me he was coming out of the closet.” She explained the entire chain of events. “We were so close to going to press, it was either lose our launch, or come up with some other idea. Eric proposed getting someone to stand in for him. It was just supposed to be for the cover.”

  “Why did Jack do it?” Aurora asked.

  “For the money, of course,” Mercedes said.

  “Actually, no, he wouldn’t take any money,” Valerie told her. “Eric offered to compensate him, but this wasn’t about money.”

  “Then what was it about? Why would he do something like this for nothing?” Mercedes asked.

  Valerie bit her lip. She couldn’t reveal the very personal, painful information Jack had given her last night. “It wasn’t for nothing. They’ve known each other a long time. Eric was there for Jack during some difficult times in his life. This was his chance to give something back.”

  Vivian pursed her lips, looking intrigued. “And you know about Jack’s history?”

  Valerie nodded. “But I’m afraid it’s personal. You can ask Jack about it if you want, but he told it to me in confidence and I don’t feel right speaking for him.”

  “Confidence, hmm?” Vivian tapped her cigarette holder against her fingers. “You two have grown close through this, I would imagine.”

  Valerie wasn’t sure where she was headed with this, but this was no time for evasion. “Yes,” she said directly. “Yes, we have.”

  “And that photo in the tabloid . . . you explained that away as a minor slip. A heat-of-the-moment kind of thing. Can I take it that you’ve had other heated moments since then?”

  Valerie felt her cheeks burn, but was spared from responding when Aurora swatted at Vivian.

  “Oh, isn’t it enough we’re dealing with this whole shocking mess? You don’t have to go and dig up every salacious detail.” She looked at Valerie. “He duped you, didn’t he, dear? Led you on? We certainly understand. He is quite the charming rascal. Much like my Way was.”

  Mercedes rolled her eyes. “Oh, for heaven’s sake, Aurora, Way’s idea of charm was to tell the same horrendous Senate war stories over and over.” She turned to Valerie, still stern. “I understand that desperate situations can lead to desperate acts. I can’t say I condone what you’ve done, but I’m trying my best to be impartial until we hear Jack out.”

  “Oh, oh!” Vivian called out. “The show’s starting!”

  Vivian moved faster than Valerie would have thought her capable of in those spiked heels. Everyone scrambled from their respective seats and gathered around the television, as one of the Good Morning hosts, Steve Sutter, introduced his cohost, Julie Nash, and the “surprising, very special live interview” she was about to conduct with Jack Lambert. They cut to a camera showing a sea of the show’s fans milling outside the studio, many of them carrying signs touting their admiration for Prince Charming.

  “Oh, there’s the one I liked!” Aurora exclaimed. “ ‘Charm Me!’ ”

  “Hush, Aurora,” Vivian told her, edging closer. “Oh, there’s the ‘Prince Hottie’ sign!”

  “He’s really drawn quite a following,” Mercedes observed.

  Aurora pressed her ringed fingers to her lips. “I hope they don’t turn into an angry mob when he tells them the truth. It reminds me of those horrid sale days at Garfinkels back in the seventies.” Her expression anxious, Aurora gripped Valerie’s arm and squeezed.

  Angry mob, indeed, Valerie thought, feeling like she was in a living nightmare. One of her own making. She wanted to cover her eyes, plug her ears, but then Jack’s image blared on screen. He was sitting in a comfortable chair across from Chirpy Cohost Girl. Julie Nash, who usually gave a whole new meaning to perky, was looking abnormally somber. Or as close as Julie could get to somber, she supposed, which was actually a cute kind of grimace. What was slated to be a fluff interview had now turned into something serious. What a break for Julie, Valerie thought morosely. At least someone’s career was going to get a shot in the arm because of all this.

  “So, Jack,” Julie began, unable to completely rid her voice of its natural chirp, “we were originally going to talk about your books and the incredible buzz that’s erupted since you revealed yourself to the public. However, I understand you have something important you would like to discuss with me and our viewers.” She leaned forward, all chummy and you-can-trust-me, obviously a graduate of the same girl anchor school as the rest of them. “What’s on your mind?”

  “Good morning, Julie, and thank you for giving me this opportunity to reach your viewers and hopefully a number of my fans. Or should I say, a number of Prince Charming’s fans.”

  Julie worked hard to present a serious girl reporter expression. “Wouldn’t those be one and the same, Jack?”

  Valerie bit her lip, her entire body tense as she watched Jack resettle himself in the chair. “I should have gone with him,” she murmured. “I should be the one taking the heat. This wasn’t his idea, he shouldn’t have to be the one to fall on his sword.” On national television, no less.

  Aurora squeezed her arm. Vivian shot her a brief, considering look. Mercedes just hushed her.

  “Actually, no, they’re not,” Jack said. He shifted to face the camera. “I have a confession to make, and I’m hoping the viewers out there will hear me out before judging me, or Prince Charming, too harshly.” He looked back at Julie. “You see, I’m not really Prince Charming.”

  Julie struggled to keep her game face on. “Really.”

  Okay, maybe this wouldn’t result in a career shift for the bubbly cohost after all. Valerie absently wondered if Steve Sutter, veteran news anchor turned morning-show cohost, wasn’t chewing nails over losing this opportunity to such an airhead. But she was thankful Steve had lost it, because he’d have turned it into something hard-hitting whereas Julie would let Jack steer this pretty much any way he wanted.

  “Exactly who are you, then?” Julie queried. “And where is the real Prince Charming?”

  “He’s here,” Jack said. “In fact, they’re mike-ing him up right now, and if it’s okay, he’d like to join me on the set.”

  “Oh, dear lord,” Mercedes whispered.

  Valerie held her breath. Eric was going on with Jack? The phones started going off again, but Valerie was too riveted to shut them off.

  Vivian simply turned up the sound. “This should be good,” she said, and Valerie noticed her eyes were gleaming. Was she enjoying this?

  “But before he comes out,” Jack went on, “I’d like to explain what’s happened. And why we’ve done what we’ve done.”

  “Please do,” Julie said, ever the sharp interviewer.

  “I am a sports reporter, and everything I’ve said in my previous interviews is true. Except for one thing. I didn’t write the Dear Prince Charming advice column, or books. My best friend, Eric Jermaine, did.”

  “Eric Jermaine,” Julie said, looking as if she were pondering one of the universe’s deep mysteries. “Why does that name sound familiar?”

  “He’s been acting as my manager, when in fact, he’s the real author.”

  The cameras cut to the throng outside, who were all standing, riveted, as they watched the huge monitor that broadcast the show to the street. They didn’t appear angry so much as shocked. Valerie hoped this was a good sign.

  “So why the duplicity?” Julie asked as the camera switched back inside the studio.

  “Wow,” Vivian said, “I wouldn’t have thought she’d know a word with so many syllables.”

  Valerie would have laughed if she wasn’t so close to tears.

  �
�Vivi, hush.” This from Aurora. “She’s trying her best.”

  “Listen,” Mercedes instructed.

  “For years, Eric has been advising women how to find their Prince Charming, demystifying the guy’s point of view of relationships and hoping it would help women communicate better with the men in their lives.”

  “He’s been quite successful at it, too,” Julie said. “I’m a fan of his books myself.” She leaned forward again. “Is there some reason he felt he couldn’t reveal himself?” She struggled to shift from serious to concerned and sympathetic. “Is there . . . something wrong with him?”

  “Oh, good lord,” Vivian snorted in disgust. “Where did they find this Twinkie?”

  “You know, she would benefit from our services at Glass Slipper,” Aurora commented. “Mercy, you should see what we could do in getting her to come out for some help. Poor dear. We’d keep it confidential, of course.”

  “Not in the way you mean.” Jack grinned. “Actually, he’s a darn sight easier to look at than I am.”

  Now Julie flushed, abandoning serious altogether and reverting back to total fluff cohost. “I think our viewers, especially the female viewers, would agree it’s been no hardship watching you.”

  Jack ducked his chin, his smile fading. “Well, thank you, Julie, but I don’t imagine they’re going to feel quite so generous now.”

  “So, tell us why you agreed to stand in for your friend. Your best friend, did you say? How long have you known Eric?”

  “Most of my life. We grew up together. He’s been there for me through thick and thin. And there were some pretty thin spots along the way. When I found out the position he was in, and how miserable he was, I agreed to help him out. I realize that it was wrong, but we honestly didn’t feel we were harming anyone. In being the public face of Prince Charming, I was allowing Eric to finally have the private life that he, like anyone, deserves, but never felt he could have.”

  “Why is that?”

  “He was afraid his readers would unfairly judge him and the advice he’d been giving all this time if they found out the truth.”

  Julie all but chewed on her microphone. “The truth about what?”

  “If it’s okay, he’d like to come out himself and talk about that.”

  “Oh, this is fabulous,” Vivian hooted. “Wait until this bubblehead gets a load of Eric.”

  “Wait until all the women out there get a load of Eric,” Aurora murmured.

  Vivian grinned smugly. “I bet Brock Sullivan is ready to pee his pants right about now!”

  Valerie frowned. Did they think they were out of the woods here? Mercedes still looked upset, but the other two . . . Well, the actual repercussions would come soon enough, she thought, stomach still churning as she turned her attention back to the screen.

  “But first,” Jack told the host, “there is something else I’d like to say. I stepped into this to help out a friend, to put a face to a brand name. I didn’t really take it all that seriously, was just happy to help Eric. But having done these talks, and listened to some of his readers, I’ve come to realize just how important he is to people. And with good reason. He has good insight and good people instincts, and maybe if I’d listened to him more, I wouldn’t be a divorced guy stumbling through a string of meaningless flings.”

  Valerie went stock-still. Meaningless flings? Her throat closed over. Was that what she was? Aurora’s grip tightened on her arm, but Valerie didn’t dare look at any of them.

  “We all could use some help, and the benefit of outside advice from time to time,” Jack went on. “I guess I just never thought that applied to me. I thought that was for people who wanted to blame someone other than themselves for their problems, or people who simply refused to take responsibility for themselves and wanted someone else to come along and make their messes okay. But I’ve changed my mind on that.”

  “Why is that?”

  “Listening to his readers, for one. Seeing the strong, amazing women out there who, when confronted with a problem they didn’t know how to solve, went looking for solutions instead of whining about their situations. I never saw it like that. And I think a lot of guys out there are just like me in that regard. Too proud to admit they need help, afraid to realize their problems might be their own faults, something they need to work on.”

  “And do you need help?”

  “Yeah, in fact, I do. It took two people to ruin my marriage, but rather than face that, to face what I thought a marriage was, what a relationship should be, I chose to avoid serious relationships altogether.”

  “But that’s changed?”

  “Yes. During this, well, this charade, I met someone.”

  Valerie tensed. Vivian gripped her knee.

  “Given that I hadn’t done so hot in my one shot at serious commitment, I certainly didn’t think this was the best time to get involved on any serious level with anyone. Certainly not with someone who had a stake in all this as well.”

  Julie was all but salivating. This was right up her alley. “And would that someone be the woman you were photographed with in that tabloid a week or so ago? Didn’t she work for the same magazine you do? Or that Mr. Jermaine does. Or . . . whatever?” Clearly this was taxing Julie’s limited resources.

  “I’d rather not drag more names into this. She knows who she is.”

  Julie tried not to look too crestfallen. Valerie felt like she might throw up. Or pass out. What in the hell was he doing?

  Jack looked at the cameras. “But I guess you don’t always get to pick when you fall in love. Or with whom. You can only pick what you want to do about it.”

  All three godmothers gasped. Valerie choked.

  “The timing stinks. And our careers, well, such as they were,” he said, his infamous grin ghosting his lips for the first time, “were heading in different directions. At any other time in my life, I would probably have taken the easy route. The same route I always took. Enjoyed it while it lasted, then walked away.”

  “But now?”

  “All this talking about relationships and seeing how others have fought for what they wanted has made me rethink everything.” He looked to the cameras briefly. “It’s still just as terrifying. But this time I don’t want to walk away. I want to make it work.” He smiled, looked back at Julie. “She’s worth fighting for.”

  Cut to the cameras outside, and as they panned the crowd, the women were alternately clutching their hearts or sniffling.

  Aurora sniffled and pulled a hankie from her voluminous sleeve. “Oh, this is so sweet.”

  “This is brilliant.” Vivian once again sent a calculating glance at Valerie, but said nothing else as she returned her attention to the screen.

  Valerie was still reeling. Her head, and her heart. Had Jack Lambert really just proclaimed, on live television, that he’d fallen in love with her? The very idea was both terrifying and exhilarating. Was he being honest, or, as Vivian seemed to think, was this just another angle he was playing to win viewer sympathy? Would Jack assume she’d realize that and not take his proclamation seriously?

  Julie was beaming. “Well, maybe we should get you some advice from the real Dear Prince Charming.” She turned to the camera. “Please help me welcome Mr. Eric Jermaine.”

  Then Eric was striding out onto the set and Valerie dragged her scattered thoughts and emotions together once more so she could pay attention to the drama unfolding onscreen.

  Julie stood and there was no doubt about her reaction, as her mouth dropped open the moment she got a good look at the real Prince Charming.

  His hair was tousled, only this time Valerie was pretty sure it was natural. He was wearing black jeans and a loose weave shirt. Despite the slightly anxious expression, he was completely mouthwatering.

  Cameras cut to the crowd. They all seemed to agree. A wave of oohs and wows swept the throng.

  Julie motioned to the third seat that had been shoved up next to Jack’s. “Mr. Jermaine, a pleasure to meet you.”

>   “Eric, please,” he said, his voice even deeper and rougher than usual.

  “Turkey’s done,” Vivian noted.

  “I beg your pardon,” Aurora sniffed. “He’s understandably nervous, but that hardly gives you the right to—”

  Vivian pointed her cigarette holder at the screen, specifically the front of Julie’s tight sweater. Where her nipples were obviously at attention. “Baste her and taste her. She’s ready for—”

  “Vivian, really,” Mercedes exclaimed. “Must you be so crude?”

  “Oh!” Aurora said, coloring slightly as she got the point. Or points, as the case might be. “I see.”

  “So does the rest of America,” Vivian said dryly, “and I’m betting Julie isn’t alone.” She turned to Mercedes. “Ten dollars says most women won’t care which way his pendulum swings.”

  “We’re hardly in the position to be betting,” Mercedes said, but her scowl had shifted, her expression had turned to one of consideration. She folded her arms and settled more comfortably on the arm of the couch.

  Valerie didn’t know how much more of this she could take. She couldn’t read the godmothers, the phones were still ringing off the hook, she had no idea what was going to happen when Eric dropped the bomb. Except that perky Julie was certain to respond with something typically ridiculous.

  He loves me. He loves me not.

  The words kept repeating over and over inside her head. Her entire world was not only falling apart, but exploding in a magnificent destructive display. And that was all she could think about.

  Jack Lambert might be in love with her.

  “So, Eric, welcome,” Julie was saying. She smiled beneficently as Jack and Eric shared a quick hug and clap on the back.

  “You didn’t have to do this,” Eric said quietly to Jack, but it was picked up on his mike anyway.

  “Yeah, I did,” Jack said, and smiled.

  “Together through thick and thin,” Julie interjected, perky smile back in place. “So, Eric, to be frank, looking at you, it’s hard to see what possible reason you might have had for getting your friend Jack here to play you in public. No offense, Jack,” she gushed, “but I think the ladies out there would be quite happy to play Cinderella if Eric here were to come riding up on his proverbial white horse, huh?”