A Carpino Series Collection, Books 1-3

by Brynne Asher

  I shouldn’t let this happen. I’ve got to put a stop to this tomorrow. I’m going to let myself be weak for one more night—let myself have Tony like this for the few hours remaining before the sun comes up. I can’t kid myself, I’ll still be weak tomorrow, but I can’t let myself be stupid any longer. Being weak and stupid is worse than just being weak. Tomorrow is Monday. Gabby and Jude will be back in the morning and Tony can go home. It doesn’t matter how much I want him, how good he makes me feel, the Tony Torture has to end tomorrow.

  For now, I press closer, seep into him, and try to memorize every single caress he’s given me. And I pray I’ll never forget.

  “When are your interviews?”

  I look up at Gabby as I’m making lunch at the island in her huge kitchen.

  It’s Monday and Gabby’s standing in the midst of boxes and storage containers in the process of decorating her home for Christmas. Gabby doesn’t do anything small and by that, I mean she does everything off the charts. She and Jude flew home early this morning from Colorado. Jude has his pilot’s license and they borrow a friend’s plane when the weather is clear to quicken the trip. I think Jude knew the Christmas decorating was about to commence because he blew through here with their bags at the speed of light and turned to kiss Gabby goodbye to go to work.

  That’s when Gabby wrinkled her nose up. “Can’t you carry the trees up? Just real quick. Please?”

  “Sugar.” Jude looked down at her and sighed. He turned to move to the basement while calling, “Where do they go?”

  Gabby gave me her grin that says she just got her way before she followed him to give instructions. Honestly. They’re cute together. Although I would never say that to Jude, I don’t think he’s the kind of guy who would appreciate being referred to as cute. I’m really happy for them. They both had a hard road.

  Now it looks like Christmas has exploded in her great room with Gabby at the center of it all. I’m making myself a sandwich and Gabby a salad.

  “I have three,” I answer. “One tomorrow, one on Thursday, and one Friday.”

  “Which one do you want?”

  I pull in a breath because I really want to work in my old department, ICU. I like being assigned a small number of patients and the focus ICU requires will be good for me. I won’t be able to let my mind wander to dark places. I need something else to focus on.

  “Tomorrow is the ER, which I don’t want. Thursday is ICU where I worked before and Friday is with a private practice for office work. I want to go back to ICU, it pays better than the private practice job and the ER is just for backup.”

  “I’m glad they have an opening in your old department.” She’s arranging garland over her mantle. “It’s all coming together, you know? Like it’s meant to be.”

  I look up from my sandwich and see her standing on her stepstool looking at me with meaning. Gabby is the best friend I could ever hope for. She pulled me out of my hell-hole with Preston when I felt my weakest and most broken.

  “Yeah, girlie. Like it’s all meant to be.”

  She smiles carefully. “So … can I ask you something?”

  “I guess.” I put our lunches in front of two barstools. She wanders over to me and we sit down to eat.

  She picks up her fork and pushes her salad around. “What’s up with you and Tony?”

  I become completely immobile with a bite of sandwich in my mouth. Frowning at her, I talk with my mouth full. “What do you mean?”

  She gives me her knowing look like I know what she means, which I do. I turn away from her, chew my bite, and swallow. “Nothing.”

  “Nothing?”

  Looking back at her, I repeat, “Nothing.”

  “It doesn’t seem like nothing. Even Jude is picking up on it. And,” she pauses, which makes me look back and her eyebrows are raised. “Paige called me.”

  I blow out a breath because that can’t be good. Paige has been here for our Sex-in-the-City-Athons every night. And every night Tony is here, torturing me only the way Tony can, all for Paige to see and apparently blab to my BFF.

  “First off, I’m pissed you all started Sex in the City without me, but I’ll just have to jump in and deal with it. And second, Paige also reports something is going on with you and Tony. I want to know. What’s going on?”

  “Nothing is going on. Tony’s being sweet just like the rest of your family. I don’t really know how to take it. You Carpinos are so nice it’s overwhelming,” I say sarcastically.

  “Yeah, that’s our way,” she returns, equally as sarcastic. “But from what I hear, Tony is being really nice.”

  Tony left my bed early this morning to go to work. I haven’t let myself think about how nice it was sleeping up against him for those few short hours. But when he kissed me goodbye on the head, I rolled over to look up at him and tried to do the smart thing for a change. “Tony, you have to stop this.”

  He grinned. “Stop what?”

  “You know what I’m talking about. You have to stop whatever this is.”

  What he did not do is agree to stop. What he did do was blow my mind when he leaned down and kissed me on the lips, so softly, it was but a breath and, unlike every other caress he’d given me, I didn’t just feel that one down to my bones, but my soul and everywhere else throughout my body, giving me tingles. How can a breath of a kiss be so perfect?

  He moves back slightly where I only see his almost black eyes. “Get used to it. I’ll see you later, have a good day.”

  I look over at Gabby and give in. “I don’t know, Gab. I told him to stop. I need him to stop.”

  “Stop what?”

  I turn to look at her and widen my eyes. I see her narrow hers and her jaw goes hard. I turn back to my sandwich and Gabby doesn’t say another word about Tony. She finishes her salad, changes her clothes, and says she’s off to the store for more Christmas lights. Where she’s going to find a place to put more Christmas lights, I have no idea.

  Tony

  I hear her before I see her. I look up from the documents on my desk that are confounding me. This acquisition should be open and shut, but something’s amiss with the company being purchased. It should be more profitable than the books are showing. I don’t have time for her, but I am surprised it’s taken this long for it to happen. I lean back in my chair and wait.

  “You know why I’m here, Paige!” Gabby’s voice yells, getting louder and closer by the second before I see her standing in the doorway to my office.

  “You.” She points at me as she comes in and slams my door. “I have a bone to pick with you!”

  “Must be a big bone, you couldn’t do it over the phone.”

  “Don’t be your cool as a cucumber self, Tony. I’m not a client. You know why I’m here.” Gabby’s standing in front of my desk with her hands on her hips, wearing designer jeans, a fancy-ass sweater, and I can tell she’s in heels because she’s taller than normal.

  “I’m busy Gabba, cut to the chase.”

  On a huff, she starts. “Leigh. I don’t know what you’re doing, but you had better stop. She is not some bimbo for you to conquer. Nor does she have the energy to put you off. She’s in a delicate place right now. I cannot believe with what she means to me, what she meant to my parents, not to mention what she’s been through you would go there with her. Now, I love you, Tony. You know I do. But there are times I have to love you despite how you choose to live your life with … with … women. And you know what I mean. Leave. Her. Alone.”

  I pull in a calming breath. I can’t say I don’t deserve that. I probably do. Now I have to rein it in and explain what Leigh means to me.

  “Are you through?” I ask.

  Gabby tips her head to the side to take in my demeanor. She knows me better than anyone, I can tell she sees it. Or, she sees something. “What’s going on, Tone?”

  I lower my voice. “Gabba, you think I’d go there with Leigh knowing what she means to you? What she meant to your parents? But especially after what she’s ju
st been through if she didn’t mean something to me?”

  Gabby jerks as if I’ve struck her. Shit, is it that surprising? “What does she mean to you?”

  “She means a lot to me. I’m taking a mind to her. I’m being patient. Shit, since I’m handling her divorce now, I’ve read the police records. I probably know more than you. None of it’s good, Gabby. It’s all a shit load of bad. So yeah, I’m doing everything I can to make sure she’s mine, but I plan on handling her with care in the process. What I will not do is stop. She was tied to that asshole by the time I got out of school, I missed my chance. I’m not missing it again.”

  “Really?” Gabby breathes. “You wanted a chance back then?”

  “Well, by the time I was ready, she was taken, but yeah. I just took too long to get my shit together.”

  “You and Leigh?”

  “I hope.”

  “Oh, I’m going to cry,” she exclaims and starts to wave her hand in front of her face. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I said that. I had no idea. You know I love you. Shit! I hate crying.”

  I get up and go around the desk. She walks straight to me and plants her face in my chest and I put my arms around her. “It’s okay.”

  “I’m really happy for you.” She tips her head back to go on with a teary face. “You know, she crushed on you all through high school.”

  “She did?”

  “Yeah.”

  I shake my head. “Well, fuck me.”

  She smirks. “I can’t wait to tell Jude. And I’m making dinner tonight, you have to come.”

  “Gabby, shut it down. I’ll handle it. I don’t need any help.”

  “Okay,” she agrees a little too enthusiastically as she wipes her tears away.

  “I’m serious. I need to handle her in my own way. Do you know she dreams?”

  “Dreams?”

  “Yeah, nightmares.”

  “No. Did she tell you that?”

  “No, I heard her. I’ve slept on your sofa for the last three nights. Every night she’s had a nightmare and she won’t talk about them. You’ve probably never heard because your room is far away from hers.”

  “You stayed all weekend?”

  “I didn’t want her to be by herself.”

  Gabby tips her head and her face softens. “You stayed with her. I’m so glad you were with her. I don’t know what to do. I can’t get her to go to a therapist. I’ve tried.”

  “I don’t know. But something’s gotta give. I’ll be over tonight for dinner, but you need to play it cool for her sake. And I hope Jude likes Sex in the City.” I shake my head, knowing since he’s like me, he has no clue what he’s in for.

  Gabby frowns. “I don’t think Jude’s going to like Sex in the City.”

  “Trust me, he won’t.”

  “Okay, let me know what you need from me. You have to get through to her, Tone. She can’t go on like this much longer.”

  “I know, but for now you need to go. I’ve got a shit load to do.”

  “Okay, see you tonight. I won’t mention you’re coming. I can totally play it cool.”

  “Great,” I mutter, thinking there’s no way Gabby will be able to play it cool. I turn my attention back to my acquisition case, hoping it’s easier to figure out than Leigh.

  Chapter Five

  What Ifs

  About a week before Christmas

  Leigh

  “Yes, I’ll let you know if her oxygen level dips again. She’s been stable for the past hour-and-a-half. Thanks.” I pause to take a breath. “Yes, it’s good to be back.”

  I hang up the phone with the doctor and look back to the chart in front of me. It’s my first day back. It’s been three years, but how could I forget how busy this is? Last week I went through orientation, shadowed in the ICU where I used to work, and started back today.

  I finish with my chart as it’s time to see to my other patient. A lot of the same nurses I worked with three years ago are still here. They’ve all been welcoming, but I think it has something to do with them being short staffed.

  The last few weeks have been … well … not terrible. Tony has made himself a fixture in my life, whether I wanted him in it or not. And I’ve let myself take from him since Thanksgiving weekend when he worked his way into my bed. I thought for sure he wouldn’t come back after Jude and Gabby got home from Colorado, but there he was. I tried my best to push him away, but he wouldn’t allow it.

  All those weeks ago after more Sex in the City, I took myself to bed barely offering a goodnight to everyone. I was settled in bed when Tony shocked me more than he’s ever shocked me. I was trying to find sleep when he barged into my bedroom uninvited, sauntered in wearing no shirt and a pair of loose pajama pants that fit low on his hips and walked to the side of my bed. “Move over.”

  “What are you doing?” I asked, almost breathless from seeing how great his pajama pants hung on his hips, his lean, muscular chest bare and his hair messy, probably from pulling a shirt over his head.

  “Move,” he repeats. “We’re going to try something.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  Even though I hadn’t moved, he pulled the covers back and climbed in. “You slept like the dead last night for the few hours I was here. We’re going to see if it works again.”

  At that point I didn’t have a choice but to move since he was pushing me. My voice became more panicked. “You’re not sleeping here!”

  “Consider it an experiment,” he informed me, as if he is telling me it was supposed to be cloudy tomorrow.

  “No! We’re not experimenting.”

  “Yes, we are.”

  “Stop it, you need to leave. Now.” I was in my panties and an old tank top—barely dressed.

  Tony, who was in my bed, leaned up on an elbow and put his hand behind my head, pulling me toward to him. “Relax. The thought of going home tonight and leaving you to your dreams just about did me in. Let’s see if you still dream sleeping next to me. If you don’t, terrific. If you do, I’m here. But there’s no way I can lay my head down ten minutes away wondering if you’re battling those demons by yourself.” I tried to pull away but he didn’t let me. “Experiment with me, gem. Please.”

  I let out an audible breath because I didn’t think there was any way I could get him to leave. “Fine.”

  I scooted down in my bed, pushing Mia out of the way and moved as far away from him as I could. That didn’t work because Tony moved in behind me, turned me to him and put his arms around me even though I was stiff a board. Then, just like the night before, he ran his hand down my thigh to my knee, pulling my bare leg up and over his hip, settling us in. My leg that had goose bumps from his touch.

  His lips came to my forehead. “Go to sleep.”

  I realized there was no way he was going to give me my space. He’s one persistent guy. I pulled in a breath, tried to relax, and settled in. It really wasn’t as hard as I thought it might be since he was pulling his fingers through my hair. I started to feel myself melt away and quicker than normal, I was out.

  The next thing I knew, I was on my back with something warm pressed up against my side. His lips touched my temple as I blinked to find Tony’s arm lying across my front, angled up with his hand on the other side of my face. Without thinking, I turned my head to the side to look into his sleepy eyes.

  He took my breath away when he kissed my forehead. “Experiment was a success, gem. Have a good day. And you’ll be seeing me tonight.”

  But as he got up to leave me, I realized he was right. I didn’t dream. I slept through the night, escaped the noise and the pain that always took over when I slept.

  That’s how it’s been for the last three weeks ever since Thanksgiving. Tony comes to me every night and I take it all knowing I shouldn’t but wanting it badly because I’ve only dreamt twice with Tony in my bed. He never wants anything more. He pulls me into his arms where I go willingly, he kisses me on the head, and tells me to go to sleep.

  I’m mo
re rested and less stressed, even though my divorce still isn’t final. Preston is claiming he was high the night be beat me, causing me to lose our baby. He’s checked himself into a thirty-day treatment program and another court date has been set for the middle of January when he’s supposed to be finished with his pretend treatment. Preston could drink heavily and was a mean drunk, but he never did drugs. I would recognize the signs. Tony was none too happy when he had to deliver this news, promising me it should be over in January.

  My second patient is due for his meds in ten minutes so I head that way to chat with him until it’s time. He’s elderly and doesn’t seem to have a lot of visitors. Since I’ve been here for almost ten hours, we’ve gotten to know each other well. I’m almost to his room when my phone vibrates again. It has been going crazy for the past hour-and-a-half and I haven’t had a chance to check it. I’m able to spare a couple minutes so I turn back to the nurses’ station as I pull out my phone. I have five voice mails and eleven texts, all from Gabby, Paige, and Jude.

  What the hell?

  I slide my thumb across the screen and answer with a smile. “I know it’s my first day back, you must really miss me.”

  “Oh, Leigh. You finally answered. I thought I was going to have to come find you,” Gabby breathes making me stop in my tracks.

  “What’s wrong?” I demand.

  “Leigh, I don’t…” her voice hitches and I can tell she’s crying. I hear the phone being shuffled around and Jude talking to her in the background.

  “Gabby?” I call for her, trying to get her back on the phone.

  “Leigh? You’ve got Jude.”

  “Is she okay?”

  “No. Something has happened. Gabby’s okay now, I’ll explain that later, but it’s Tony. We’re here at the hospital. He’s in surgery.” My insides tighten when he pauses. “Leigh, Tony’s been shot. He lost a lot of blood and they rushed him into surgery as soon as EMS got him here.”