by Brynne Asher
“Well,” she starts hesitantly. “I’ve always wanted one of these.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
She explains her ridiculous assessment of the clown car. “They’re cute. And they seem like a happy little car. It’s not pretentious, it’s not snooty, it’s not even in your face. It’s just happy.”
“It seems happy?”
She doesn’t answer, but pulls into a grocery store parking lot, and like she was meant to drive a clown car, parks it with precision.
She doesn’t say anything, continuing to stare out the windshield.
I call for her. “Leigh?”
She turns but stays quiet as she pulls her lip between her teeth.
“Gem, come here.” I put my hand up to her cheek to close the infinitesimal distance between us in this ridiculously small space. “Does this car make you happy?”
“Yes,” she whispers.
Not wanting anything more than for her to be happy, I say, “You clearly don’t need my permission, but will you promise me you’ll always wear your seatbelt?”
Giving me a small smile while rolling her eyes like she thinks I’m ridiculous. “Yes, of course. I always wear my seatbelt.”
Because she’s close and I can’t help it—and because I want to show Brendon she’s mine and to stay the fuck away from her—I pull her in for a slow kiss. Finishing the kiss sooner than I want to, I pull back but don’t let go of her face. “Are you sure about the color? It’s baby blue.”
“It’s Denim Blue,” Brendon interrupts our moment from the back seat.
I move slightly to glare at him when Leigh says, “No, it’s the color of the sky. I love it.”
Looking back at her, I shake my head and kiss her quick before letting her go. We all settle back in as she takes off again in her new clown car. I decide to give a warning to all passengers. “All right, but if you don’t get a good trade, we’re going to another dealership. I don’t care if I have to drive you to Kansas City or Des Moines.”
I hear the beautiful sound of Leigh laugh from beside me at the same time Brendon grumbles from behind me. I look out the window as she drives us back to the dealership so I can negotiate her trade. She can drive it for a while until I can talk her into something bigger. There’s no fucking way I’m allowing any child of mine to ride in this clown car.
Chapter Eight
You’re Coming Back to Me
Leigh
I look beyond my suitcase lying on my bed at Gabby’s to see Tony standing across from me. His arms are crossed and he’s wearing track pants with a Final Four t-shirt, but his very unhappy gaze is directed at me. He’s not really standing, it’s more like he’s towering, and his hair is rustled from pulling his hands through it out of frustration.
Frustration stemmed from me. But not really me-me. From me leaving for the weekend.
“It’s a bachelorette weekend getaway. It’s going to be a three-day, two-night bachelorette party, Tony. It’s not like I can miss it. I’m her maid of honor and you definitely cannot come. I’ll be fine,” I explain for about the twentieth time—no exaggeration.
“What if you dream?” he bites, for the twenty-first time—no exaggeration.
I throw in my swimsuit coverup and the last pair of sandals I can squeeze and look over to him. He’s pissed, but he’s pissed because he’s worried. I’ve gotten to know him well enough over the past couple of months to know that.
I feel like I know him better than I know anyone as our weird, whatever-this-is-between-us, moves forward. And somehow, whatever-this-is gets better by the day and I find myself not remembering what it was like being alone. I felt alone all those years with Preston. But not anymore. I thought I would want nothing more than to be alone, but Tony hasn’t allowed it. As much as I don’t want to think about it, deep down I know I don’t want to be alone because being with Tony has been the best I’ve ever known.
But none of this makes Tony any less pissed at the moment.
Tomorrow is Friday and I fly out with Gabby, our friends Reagan, Lily and a gaggle of Carpino women. She has arranged a full weekend of fun and girl time at an all-inclusive spa in Sedona. Preston and I went on some nice trips during our miserable marriage, but they were stressful. When I was younger, Gabby’s parents took me on a couple vacations, but other than that I haven’t traveled much. My mom could barely afford fast food, let alone a vacation because she spent most of her meager income on cigarettes and booze. I’m looking forward to massages, facials, pool time, and fun with my friends and Gabby’s family.
“Tony.” I need to explain this differently than I have the previous twenty times. “Do you know how long I’ve dreamt? Had nightmares? I’ve had them a long time. Even before I lost,” my breath catches because I still can’t bring myself to talk about the baby. “Well, what I lost. They were different then, not as often, but that doesn’t mean I’m not used to it. I’ll be fine for two nights.”
“You’ve only had three since you’ve been with me,” he reminds me of something I already know.
I give him a small smile and remind him of his words months ago the first time he sauntered into my bed. “I know. Maybe we should consider it an experiment.”
He huffs, frustrated, and drops his arms. After looking at me—no, glaring at me—for long moments he strangely demands, “You’re coming back to me.”
I frown because I have no idea what he means. “What are you talking about?”
“I have no desire to experiment what you do away from me, gem. As much as I hope you never have another nightmare for the rest of your life, if you have dreamless sleep away from me, you’re still coming back to me,” he stresses, more frustrated than ever.
“Honey,” I whisper and see his eyes flash.
He’s worried I won’t need him or want him if I don’t dream without him. If I’m truthful with myself, I’m not worried about dreaming without him, I’m more worried I won’t be able to sleep without him. He’s done so much for me over the past few months. No, he’s done everything for me over the past few months and it’s time for me to give back. I need to give him something, even if it’s only to reassure him I won’t break my promise I made on New Year’s. I have to come back to him, the thought of not coming back to him is painful and, after the last month, I don’t think I could take it.
With him burning with emotion, I move around the bed and go straight to him. I put my hands flat to his abs, being careful for his mostly healed wound on his left side, moving them up over his rock-hard chest. I slide my hands up the sides of his neck and into his lush hair. Looking into his eyes, eyes that are now on fire, I reach up on my toes to do something I’ve never done before—kiss him first.
His arms come around me—one in my hair and one very low to my back—pulling me in tight. I kiss him for about three seconds before he takes over completely and his hand at my back dips down, under his own t-shirt I’m wearing, to run his hand up my bare back pulling me even closer. His touch grazes my side and I feel hot tingles in their wake where he barely runs his fingers over my breast. I gasp against his lips and his other hand immediately goes to my ass over my panties, squeezing, and pressing me into him.
I can’t help it—I melt. I’ve never had someone’s touch feel so good. Not like this. Never like this.
I feel us turning, and we go down—Tony with his back to the bed and me on top of him. Not giving me a second to think about our new position, he slides his hands down the backs of my thighs, yanking my knees roughly to straddle him. He’s rock hard between my legs and I press down. I don’t just hear but feel him moan into my mouth as I grind into him. Pulling his hands up to my face, he drags me back to his mouth as his hips surge up and I feel him on my clit, creating a burn that’s never felt so hot leaving me wanting everything. His hands move down my back and dip into my panties to cup me, making me moan into his mouth as I rock against him.
Suddenly, all these months being with him—
sleeping beside him, being wrapped up in his beautiful body every night—has finally taken its toll. My body has woken from a coma after months of care and ministrations from Tony. Every nerve ending in my body is connected to the heat between my legs where I want him like I’ve never wanted anything before. No, not want.
I need him.
“Gem,” he whispers against my lips. “Sweetheart, I need to touch you.”
To answer him I grind down again on his rock-hard shaft, and oh my, does that feel good. He rolls flipping me to my back and his mouth hits mine again at the same time his hand dips straight into my panties. His fingers slide through me making my hips jerk. His fingers do a slow lazy circle around my clit, making me gasp into his mouth. Running his fingers lightly through me again, I feel how wet I am.
I can’t take it. I need more and press my hips into his hand. “Tone.”
“Tell me what you want, Leigh.”
“Please, more,” I beg as I try and move my hips.
Finally, he gives me another circle, but this one is less lazy and my breathing becomes deep and labored. All of a sudden, he fills me with two fingers and I grip his shirt to pull myself close.
“Beautiful,” he murmurs as he keeps filling me with two fingers while roughly running his thumb over my clit.
Another swipe with even more pressure is all it takes. My body rocks with my orgasm. It washes through me, down to my toes as I vaguely hear myself moan and writhe, grasping onto his arms. Tony pulls me into him again and I stuff my face in his neck trying to even out my breathing.
His hold tightens around me as he turns his head to kiss my hair. “That’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
That’s kind of embarrassing but weirdly sweet. I have nothing to say to that. Instead, I burrow into him deeper and ignore it. This is not what I had planned when I walked around the bed to reassure him.
Tony doesn’t let me ignore it gives me a full body squeeze. “Now I really don’t want you to leave this weekend.”
I realize he’s still rock hard against my hip. “Tony. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to happen. You’re … um … you know. Hard.”
“Gem, don’t worry about it.”
“But—”
“I’m fine. I’ll be as patient as you need me to be, but watching you come for me was hot and worth waiting for.” He pulls me in for another slow lingering kiss. Pulling away, he puts his lips to my ear and his breath tickles. “I’m sure everything else will be worth the wait, too.”
Oh, shit.
Something else to worry about.
“Sweetheart.” I hesitantly look up at him and he’s back to intense. “You’re coming back to me.”
I reach up, kiss his jaw. “Yes, Tony, I’m coming back to you.”
I see relief wash across his face—the same look he exposed to me on New Year’s Eve. But I don’t get a chance to enjoy it because I hear Gabby calling for me and her voice is getting louder by the second.
“Leigh?”
Tony doesn’t seem to care because he kisses me again, giving me another squeeze since I’m still pressed up against him with my leg thrown over his hip.
“Leigh? Are you guys down here?” Gabby is much closer now. Too close for comfort with Tony clutching me tight giving me no indication he’s planning on letting me go.
“Tony,” I whisper. “We’ve got to get up.”
“Leigh!” She bangs on the door.
“Hang on!” Tony belts, none too nicely.
“Tony. Stop,” I whisper.
“Are you okay?” I vaguely hear Gabby ask, but I can’t answer because Tony has rolled me to my back and is kissing me hard again.
“Sugar, leave them alone,” Jude says through the door.
I turn my head to the side because that’s my only choice as Tony is pressing me to the bed. “Tony, get off me. They’re both out there.”
“I don’t have time to leave them alone, Jude. You’ve given me eight weeks to plan our wedding—I don’t have a moment to spare. We need to do this now.” More rapping on the door as Gabby yells, “Open the door or I’m coming in!”
“Tone, they’re going to come in and I don’t have any pants on,” I whisper, but my hands are in his hair because he’s running kisses down my neck. “Please, get up.”
That’s when he lifts his messy haired head—which is a really good look on him—and looks down at me. “Call me honey again.”
“What?”
“Open the door, now!” Gabby keeps yelling and rapping on the door.
Tony grins. “Say it and I’ll let you up.”
“Gabby, this can be done tomorrow, leave them alone,” Jude says.
“Why?” I ask.
“We’re leaving for the airport at oh-dark-thirty. I’m not doing this tomorrow, Jude.”
“Because I like it,” Tony says and his lips come back my neck as he presses his hardness into me.
“Tony!” Gabby yells.
“She’s gonna come in, you know she will.” Tony smiles big between kisses.
Honestly.
Finally, I put my hands to his face forcing him to look at me. “Honey, please get up.”
With that, he grins, kisses me fast, and gets to his feet while pulling me up with him. I’m still yanking his t-shirt down as far as it will go down my mid thighs as he pulls me into his side while grumbling, “Come in.”
“Finally.” Gabby opens the door but the minute she looks at us she comes to a halt. “Oh.”
I look over at Jude who’s standing behind her leaning his shoulder against the door jamb, arms crossed with a crooked grin on his face. He takes a foot and, crossing his other ankle, relaxing his body further as if settling in for a show. I look back at Gabby and she’s giving Tony a look with one brow raised. With no other choice, I close my eyes out of mortification and turn to rest my forehead on Tony’s shoulder.
Since Tony has my front plastered up to his side, I feel his arm give me another squeeze and he growls, “What?”
I open my eyes and look back to my friend who gives me a knowing grin, as if we were in middle school and I got caught in the closet kissing a boy. I thought she’d give me shit but what she does is throw a hand out in front of her giving it a wave up and down. “Whatever. I have a wedding to plan. Tony, I have to ask you something.”
“Yeah?” He’s clearly out of patience.
“Well,” she starts but inhales as she starts to worry her hands. “I’ve talked to Pop and he understands.” She’s referring to Gabby and Tony’s grandfather who she’s very close to, but still not making any sense.
Tony frowns. “Gabby, what are you talking about?”
Gabby looks at Jude and he immediately moves to her, puts an arm around her chest and pulls her back to him. He leans down and I barely hear him encourage her. “Just say it.”
When she looks back to Tony, she has tears and she swallows hard. “I want you to walk me down the aisle—give me away. If you want to, that is.”
I feel Tony’s arm drop away from me as he moves to her. Gabby’s tears fall down her cheeks and Jude lets go of her when Tony pulls his cousin into a big hug. “I’ll walk you down the aisle, but no way will I give you away, Gabba. Never.”
“Okay.” Gabby’s voice hitches and she burrows into his chest.
“Anything, Gabby, you know that.”
“I know,” she says through a shaky voice. Then repeats with meaning I can’t even begin to understand, “I know.”
I can’t help it, I have to wipe away my own tears. My sweet friend who lost her parents has finally found happiness and, even though she won’t have her parents here to see it, she does have a big family to love and support her. She deserves it. Gabby and Tony have always been closer than close, but I have a feeling him jumping in front of a bullet for her has brought them to a new level.
Gabby finally releases Tony and wipes her face. “I’m fine, I’m fine. I’ve got to finish packing. You two … well … get back to whatever y
ou were doing.” I feel my face warm as I hear Jude chuckle. But Gabby forges ahead. “You’ll need to be fitted for your tux—Jude can give you the details this weekend, but it needs to be done by Monday. I can’t believe it’s only four weeks away, there’s still so much to do. I have no business leaving town for the weekend.” Then she turns to Jude. “Come on, we need to go over your list that needs to be finished while I’m gone.”
“Gabby, relax, we’re getting married whether that list is checked off or not. It’ll be fine,” Jude says nonchalantly.
“Jude Ortiz, we had a deal. That list needs to be done by Monday.” Gabby tags his hand to pull him out the door. “See you in the morning,” she calls over her shoulder as they leave, shutting the door in back of them.
Tony turns to me and I say, “That was really sweet. She loves you.”
“Yeah,” he sort of agrees as he moves around the bed to me, pinning me to the spot.
“Tony, I’ve got to get up early. I should really go to bed.”
“Yeah,” he repeats, reaching around me to grab my suitcase and tosses it to the floor.
“What are you doing?”
“Putting you to bed.” He grins while reaching over his head to grab his shirt between his shoulder blades to yank it off. I watch his shirt flit to the floor as his thumbs go to his waistband pushing his track pants down, leaving just his boxers. He grabs me at the waist at the same time he steps out of his pants. He repeats the whole turning-flopping-down-on-the-bed-move pulling me with him. I let out a surprised yelp, but this time, he rolls me instantly pressing me to the bed where he had me earlier.
His lips go right back to my neck and I remind him, “I’ve got to get up really early.”
“You’re going to a spa, gem. You’ll have plenty of time to relax.”
“Your family seems pretty high energy. I have a feeling a trip to the spa with the Carpino women won’t be the normal kind of relaxing,” I go on, but my hand slides up into his hair again.
“True,” he mutters. I feel his tongue dart out and trace my ear, making me shiver.
