by Mj Fields
Although my hair is bigger than usual, it’s not 80s big, so I’m good. And my makeup is perfect. Jade would tell me to add more, but she’s not here. Hell, she didn’t even return my call when I left a message about “The Sign.” But I saw Cassidy at the mall, and she mentioned going to some teen dance thing in Syracuse, and that Jimmy said he would stay sober and drive. To me, that was a freaking sign.
Maybe, just maybe, Ben Sawyer will be playing there, and maybe, just maybe, he will do what Ben does best—make me laugh and feel something other than loss. If he is, I’m taking that as a sign, too.
“How fucked up are you?” Cassidy laughs as I try, again, to tie my Chucks.
I smile up at Cassidy. “High, but not too high.”
“So, like not high enough for me to offer to tie your shoes?” She grins.
I shake my head and concentrate hard. I finally get it. “Baby bear high.”
Jimmy snort-laughs, throwing one arm around me and the other around Cassidy. “Just right.”
I nudge him. “Exactly.”
When Jimmy opens the door, fog billows out, and Cassidy waves her hand about, laughing. “Think they need a better tech crew.”
“Let’s hope the music is danceable.” Jimmy motions for us to walk in.
Cassidy laughs. “Like you’ll dance.”
“True,” he calls over the music. “I’m here to find lonely and desperate creatures who have no idea I’m a theatre geek to make out with. Maybe grab a tit. Maybe.”
“Oh God, Jimmy, you can do better than that,” I encourage him.
He looks at me dead serious. “Who the hell says I want better than that?”
Confused, I look back at Cassidy, who tugs my hand. “He’s serious. He has a type.”
“Lonely and desperate?” I call to her over the music.
“Kindred souls.” Jimmy laughs.
I gasp and scowl at him. “You hit on me.”
He throws his head back, laughing, and I can’t help but laugh, too.
Then he says, “You were having a bad day.”
I nod. “I really was.”
“See?” He shrugs.
After paying our door fee and getting patted down, Cassidy drags me directly into the crowd through sweaty bodies and to the center of the dance floor right when the song ends.
“Let’s slow this down a bit. Give you all a chance to rub up on each other; see if it feels good enough to take it back home later on,” a familiar voice rasps, and I grin at Cassidy.
She looks at me and, with all the seriousness in the world, says, “You’re fucking gorgeous, but definitely not my type.”
I laugh so hard I can’t stop, but I do as soon as the crowd thins and I see Ben, sitting at a piano, spotlight on him and him alone as he begins to play.
Then … then he starts to sing.
“Well, I see him on the TV.
Preaching about the promised lands.
He tells me believe in Jesus.
Steals the money from my hands.
Some say he was a good man.
Lord, I think he sinned, yeah, yeah.”
He grabs the mic then stands, singing as he makes it to center stage. I swear he looks at me, and I duck my head, because Ben is hot in real life, but on stage, singing this song, on the night the magic eight ball of music gives me “The Sign”—plus, I’m high —so Ben looks like a freaking gift, snack, treat … a sign.
“You okay?” Cassidy yells in my ear, and I wrap my arm around her shoulders.
“Sway with me?” I ask.
“Can I drool and sway because”—she nods toward the stage, toward Ben—“holy freaking shit.”
“Right?” I nod.
Cassidy and I sway and sing along at the top of our lungs.
When the song ends, Cas looks at me. “Holy shit.”
“Let’s do two more before we take a break.” Ben calls our attention back to the stage. He takes a guitar from one of the guys in his four-piece band. “How about a little Live.”
“How do you go from Cinderella to Live?” she gasps.
I laugh. “If he can do this, I’m totally hitting on him.”
“You don’t have the balls.” She laughs back.
“Don’t need the balls.” I push my boobs out. “I got tits.”
We watch as Ben takes his place behind the mic stand, pushes up the sleeves of his long-sleeved cotton tee, and licks his full pink lips. Then he cups the mic, closes his eyes and …
“Jesus Christ, he’s going to make out with the mic.” Cassidy sighs heavily, fanning herself.
“Our love is like water,
Pinned down and abused for being strange.
Our love is no other,
Than me alone, for me all day.
Our love is like water,
Pinned down and abused, hey, hey.”
Then he steps back and bounces on his toes to the beat of the music as he sings the chorus and plays the guitar.
His energy is magnetic, and Cassidy and I begin to dance, and sing, and gush over Ben Sawyer.
“Oh my God, one of us needs to lay him down!” Cassidy yells, pumping her fists in the air.
“Pay me now. Pay me now,” I sing to her, holding my imaginary mic.
When the song ends, the crowd goes nuts, including me.
There is no lead into the next song; the music begins, and Cassidy grabs my shoulders and shakes me. “He’s going from Live top STP. He’s … everything!”
“The maybe I should step back and let you—”
“Not my type,” she yells.
“And what’s your type?” I ask, almost afraid to hear the answer.
“Unavailable, dark, and confusing.” She laughs, and so do I.
Ben begins to sing.
“And I feel that time’s a-wasting, go,
So where ya going to tomorrow?
And I see that these are lies to come
So would you even care?
And I feel it.
And I feel it…”
“I bet I can get him to make out with me.” I laugh as I pull her behind me, heading in the direction the band exited the stage after Ben sang “Plush.”
I watch Ben walk into the bathroom, and the other guys head out the back exit.
“Let’s go,” I say.
“The fucking bathroom?” Cass yells to my back.
“You only live once!” I say as I pull her behind me and right into the men’s room.
“Are you out of your damn mind?” she asks as I let go of her hand and walk right up to Ben, who’s standing at the urinal.
I place my hand on his shoulder, push up on my toes, and look over. “That’ll work.”
Ben looks at me and smiles as he tucks himself back in.
I step back, and he winks at me.
“Well then … take it home with you.”
“Oh my freaking God.” Cassidy laughs as he finishes washing his hands.
I stand there, grinning like an idiot and don’t really care as he turns around and stalks toward me. Then he grabs my face and lays one on me.
“Okay,” I hear Cassidy say. “See you on the other side.”
As soon as the door shuts, Ben and I both start laughing against each other’s mouths.
He steps back and looks me over. “Tess, what are you doing here?”
“Sort of took a chance that you’d be here. And look”—I wave my hand toward him—“you’re here.”
He cocks his head to the side. “You fucked up?”
I nod. “A little.”
He looks at me in confusion, and I tell him about my little bet with Cassidy, that wasn’t really a bet, but more like a dare.
“Cool. This is going to be fun.” He takes my hand and pulls me behind him as he exits then looks back. “Question. What’s up with you and Lucas?”
“We’re done.”
He looks at me, and I guess he gauges the truth in my answer. “Perfect. Stand in the front, Tess. I want to watch you dance.” He then
looks over my head and nods. “Gotta go chat with the band before the next set. Your girl’s waiting.”
I make my way back to Cassidy, and she still looks shocked.
“I’m in awe of you.”
Then we both laugh.
The band takes the stage, and the music begins immediately. Ben kills it, and then he whispers to his electric guitarist, who smirks then begins.
“I love this fucking song!” Cass yells as “Loser” by Beck begins.
When the song ends, Ben smiles, asking, “How’s everyone doing tonight?”
The crowd screams.
“I am having a great time tonight, too I just met a hot little number in the men’s bathroom.”
The crowd cheers again.
Ben walks to the end of the stage and squats down, looking directly at me while licking his lips. “I think I’m going home with her tonight.”
They crowd freaks out, but Cassidy the most.
Ben holds out his hand. “Tess, come on up here.”
My draw drops, and I shake my head.
“Hey, hot stuff, unless you want me to tell them about the bathroom, you’d better get that fine ass up here.”
With brute force, Cassidy pushes me toward the stage, and Ben reaches down, grabs my hand, and pulls me up … on freaking stage.
He gives me a quick kiss on the cheek then walks away, asking, “Do you all think she can sing? I mean, can something this hot possibly get any hotter?”
As the crowd cheers, he walks over and whispers, “You sure you’re done with that?”
Knowing he’s asking about Lucas, I nod.
“Prove it.” He hands me the mic. “You know ‘Fade Into You’ by Mazzy Star?”
“Yeah,” I say, not looking away from the intensity of his eyes.
He smiles, the smile that brings an immediate one in return, even when you’re on stage and freaking out. Then he nods, grabs his guitar, and begins.
And so do I.
“I wanna hold the hand …”
When I finish, Ben and I are nose to nose then lip to lip.
The crowd in the background cheers, and I am lost in a kiss and a moment.
He pushes his forehead against mine and smiles. “You’re amazing.”
“We’re amazing,” I correct.
He wink. “Told you we would be.” Then he steps back.
“Let’s hear it for the very talented Tess.”
I take a slight bow then step back to him, grab the waistband of his low-slung faded jeans, and pull him into another kiss.
The crowd cheers as I step back.
As I’m hopping off the stage, Ben says into the mic, “You can take it home with you anytime you want to, girl.”
Cassidy grabs me and pulls me into a tight hug. “No way!”
“Way.” I laugh.
“This one’s for you, hot stuff,” Ben says, and I look up at him as he plays the beginning of “Yellow Ledbetter” on the guitar.
I feel my elbow get jacked and turn to see Jade.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
I look over Jade’s shoulder and see Tommy and Lucas standing a few feet back.
“Dancing and singing. Ben’s here … Did you see him?”
She looks at me like I have lost my mind. Funny thing, I think maybe I just found it.
I turn away from her and step closer to the stage, smiling up at Ben, who lifts his head toward Lucas, I assume. I shrug, and he smiles as he continues singing … to me.
When the set ends, I am filled with energy from dancing my ass off.
Ben hops off the stage and walks over to me, giving me a hug as he looks over my head. “Hey, Jade. How are you?”
“I’m fine, Ben. Tessa, however, is going home with me and not with you,” she snaps.
I look up as I take his hand and walk toward the exit.
Once outside, I hear Jade yell, “Tessa, you need to stop this shit now.”
I turn, wrap my arms around Ben’s waist, and rest my head against his chest.
He laughs and hugs me back.
I look toward Jade and see Tommy and Lucas have followed her.
“Jade, I have a ride home.” I glare at Lucas. “Pizza Boy is perfectly capable of driving me home, and if not …” I look up at Ben. “Ben, where are you staying tonight?”
He chuckles. “Where do you want me to stay?”
I look back at Jade, who is livid.
“We’re staying at the Marriot,” Ben answers, obviously trying to save me from her wrath.
“Okay, Jade, I’ll ride with Pizza Boy or I’ll be at the Marriot.” I look up at him to see he’s biting back a laugh.
“Like hell you will,” Jade said. “Tessa, you just buried—”
“Watch it, Jade,” I cut her off with a harsh warning.
She glares at me. “Then you better cut it out.”
“Ben, baby,” I obviously exaggerate because why the fuck is he even here? “I’m going to finish listening to you, and then I may consider going home. I’ll be riding with my friends”—I look at Jade—“the ones I came with.”
“Anyone see Ben out there,” comes from the sound system inside.
Ben nods toward the door. “Duty calls. Beauty’s gonna have to wait.”
I grab his hand as he steps back, and he winks.
“All right then.” Then he walks in, pulling me behind him.
Once on stage again, he takes the mic. “I’m here. A little busy in the parking lot.”
The crowd cheers.
“Let’s all give it up again for Tess. I know I plan on it.”
I laugh as I push through the crowd to find Cassidy, and when I do, I see she’s surrounded by a new band in which I shall deem, Buzz and the Killers. And the fact that Lucas looks pissed annoys me to no end.
I glare at him. “Not a good look on you, Links.”
Lucas clenches his jaw then moves to sit at a table near the stage where he sits and now glares at Ben.
Mic in hand, amusement mixed with malice dancing in his eyes, he addresses the band. “I may royally fuck up the lyrics, but I’ve just recently”—he looks back at me, giving me an obvious and exaggerated wink—“taken to loving this new band.” He points to my shirt, and I laugh. “So, let’s start of the set with a shot of Gin.”
The song begins, and with all the energy that is wrapped up inside Ben Sawyer, he plays guitar, sings, moves in a hot as hell manner, and plays the crowd.
When the first “Hey Jealousy” starts, he moves to left stage and looks at Lucas as he sings, “Hey jealousy. Hey jealousy. Hey jealousy. Hey Lukey.”
“That’s fucked up, Tessa!” Jade yells.
I laugh. “Also fucking hilarious.”
With a shit-ass grin, Ben turns, smiling down at his guitar as he picks away the notes and sings while moving toward me and singing,
“And you can trust me not to think.
And not to sleep around.
And if you don’t expect too much from me,
You might not be let down.
‘Cause all I really want is to be with you,
Show you that you matter, too.”
He holds his hand out and makes like he’s shooting a bow, and I laugh as he sings, “If I hadn’t blown the whole thing years ago, he might not be here fucking with you.”
Those lyrics, he changed.
When the song ends, another begins immediately.
“Now maybe
I didn’t mean to treat you bad,
But I did it anyway.
And then maybe
Some would say your life was sad,
But you lived it anyway.
And so maybe,
Your friends they stand around they watch you crumble …”
Jade stands in front of me and points toward the stage. “Your friend Ben is a fucking dick.”
I ignore her.
“He’s intentionally trying to hurt Lucas and—”
“Maybe, unlike the rest of my friends,
his life doesn’t revolve around Lucas, Jade! And maybe, had you guys not come, I would be having a good time!”
I push past her and rejoin Cassidy and Jimmy, who has not one but two of his “type” dancing with him.
Ben and his band play a few more songs, and then he gestures for me to come back on stage. He reaches out his hand, and this time, it takes no coaxing. I take it, and he pulls me up.
“One more song, Tess?”
“Yeah.” Then I whisper my song choice into his ear, and he laughs.
“Fuck yes!”
“I, I got a new life. You would hardly recognize me. I’m so glad …”
I sing “The Sign,” and I emulate Ben. I dance, I sing, I fucking smile, and I have so much fun, and because of that, so does everyone else.
Returning the mic to the stand, another song begins. I look at Ben, who nods to the mic.
“You know this one, Tess?”
I nod as I take the mic and close my eyes, switching gears as I begin to sing.
“Another head hangs lowly,
Child is slowly taken.
And the violence caused such silence.
Who are we mistaken?”
The crowd joins in at the chorus, and the energy I feel from them lights me up as I give it all to them.
When I finally exit the stage, I walk past Lucas and Tommy and hear Tommy say, “Sorry, man.”
Lucas replies, “Not your fault, man.”
When another song ends while Cassidy and I dance, Ben addresses me again.
“Hey, Tess, have you looked at it yet?”
He’s talking about his ass, and I laugh, shaking my head in answer.
He sets his guitar down then pops the button of his jeans as the drummer starts a slow beat.
I laugh when he turns, sliding them down a bit, exposing his white boxer briefs.
Looking over his shoulder, he asks, “See it now?”
Laughing, I nod.
“Nice, huh?”
I respond by fanning my face.
He turns back, facing the roaring crowd, and asks, “You want to come over here and fix them for me, girl?”
I shake my head.
He looks at the crowd. “I think she likes them off.”
The crowd whistles and cheers.
He pulls them up and zips them, leaving them unbuttoned. “All right, everyone … one last song and we’re out!”
