by Mj Fields
“Sorry we’re later than we’d hoped. The realtor for the summer house had an unexpected delay.” Audri hugs me.
“No worries.” I hug her back. “You hungry?”
There has been a steady traffic of family and friends all day. Only a couple of people who I thought would be here haven’t shown, but it’s understandable.
Mom and Dad have been staying close all day.
“You think it’s all the sex talk?” Lucas chuckles in my ear.
I elbow him. “Maybe they miss each other?”
“That’s part of love, isn’t it?” he asks.
“Yeah.” I place my hand over his heart. “But that’s not the part that matters the most.”
He chuckles. “Overheard your dad say something to your mom that made me laugh earlier.”
“What?”
“She asked him if the two of you had words. He said he told you not to do it again, then that you hugged him and didn’t say a damn word. Your mom came back with, ‘Well, we didn’t raise a liar.’”
I laugh. “And what did he say?”
“We have four wonderful kids and one pain in the ass.”
I laugh. “He did not.”
“Did, too, then he said, ‘All perfect,’ and then some looks were exchanged, and he told her they need to be able to be friends.”
“What kind of looks?”
He shrugs. “John needs to get some.”
I elbow him, and he pulls me into a hug. A few seconds later, I hear gravel crunch as another vehicle pulls in.
Lucas grumbles, “Well, this very uncomfortable day just keeps getting more uncomfortable.”
I look behind me and see Ben’s family pulling in. Then I look back at Lucas. “We okay?”
His brows shoot up in surprise.
I look back as Ben helps a girl out of the car. A very pretty girl. I look back at Lucas and grin.
“You okay with that?”
“Absolutely! I’m glad he is happy. Let’s go say hi.”
He looks down at my feet, and they’re moving. My happy dance. I never realized I did that when I get excited, but feet start moving, and he nods.
I am so happy to see Ben, and overwhelmed to see him happy, and to let him see me happy.
“Hey, Ben.” I hug him.
“Hello, Tess.” Ben grins and hugs me back.
“Hello, Links.” He sticks his hand out to shake Lucas’s hand.
Lucas shakes it and smiles. It’s a bit tight, but a smile, nonetheless.
Ben looks back at the tall, curly-haired blonde behind him. “This is Lauren.” He takes her hand.
“Hello.” Lauren smiles politely. “Tessa, right?”
“Yep.” I give her a hug.
Lauren’s returned hug is a lot like Lucas’s smile to Ben. I decide right here and now that we’ll all be friends by the end of the party.
“I, uh … recognized you from a picture, singing on stage with Ben. Heard you have an amazing voice.”
“Thank you. And this is Lucas, my boyfriend.”
“I don’t know, Tess … Check out that ring.” Ben winks. “What’s this mean?”
“When she’s ready, we’ll switch hands, and then we’ll get married.” He squeezes my hand and repeats, “When she’s ready.”
“That is so sweet.” Lauren looks a bit relieved, which is a relief.
I’d love nothing more than for us all to be friends, or at least friendly.
“You all hungry?” I wave for them to follow me.
“You’re both coming to mine next weekend, right?” Ben looks at Lucas.
“Sure, sounds good.” Lucas kisses the top of my head. “Is that all right with you, baby?”
“I’d love that.” I smile at him and duck under his arm.
Ben spots the karaoke machine. “Links, you going to let Tess sing with me?”
“If she wants to.” Lucas smiles again, tightly.
We part ways, and I drag Lucas toward the house.
Passing Alex and Phoebe, I tell them, “Ben’s here. His girlfriend, Lauren, is with him. You should say hello.”
Once in the kitchen, I turn, link my hands behind his neck, and look up at him. “We okay?”
“I don’t know … Are we?” Lucas searches my face.
“Always, Lucas.” I push up on my toes and kiss him. He stiffens. “Please don’t do this.”
“Do what?” he asks coolly.
“That. I kiss you, and you … I don’t know. It just …” I step back and wait for him to say something because, clearly, I’m not doing or saying the right things.
“Do you want him?”
“No.” I push out a laugh.
“I don’t find it funny. Why do you?” He crosses his arms in front of him.
“It’s stupid, Lucas. I love you, and you know that.”
“Your mouth was on his—”
“All right, that was a mistake. And what were you doing before that with that brunette? Should I be angry about that?”
“You would be if you saw me hugging her and acting all happy when I saw her ass. Or if I told you I could love her someday,” he says sternly.
“Okay. I won’t talk to him if that’ll make you feel better. Because that’s not how I feel about him. He’s my friend, Lucas. I explained before that what I feel for you could not ever be with anyone else, but if you’re having reservations about my feelings for you, about us, it makes me wonder why.”
When I start to walk past him, he sticks his arm out, stopping me, and grabs my hip. “I don’t want to fight, baby.”
“I don’t either, Lucas, but I’ve never given you reason to think I’d be anything but faithful to you. You, on the other hand …” I shrug. “I forgave you.”
“Tessa, I didn’t cheat on you,” he whispers.
“But you would have; that’s the difference,” I whisper.
I turn around and look at him. Those words stung, and I know it.
“Tessa, I’m sorry. I trust you. I want to know that you trust me, too.”
“I do now,” I say.
He pulls me in front of him, grips the back of my head firmly, but when his lips touch mine, it’s soft. He parts my lips with his tongue, and our tongues meet. He runs his hand down my back to rest them on my ass, pulling me against him.
Smiling against his lips, I whisper, “We need to go back outside, Lucas.”
“Now?” He kisses my neck.
“Yes, now, or we’ll be missing for a long enough time that my parents, already on high alert, come looking.”
He smiles as he takes my hands and starts walking backward toward the living room. “It can be quick, baby.”
I sigh. “I don’t want quick.”
“No?” Lucas stops, bows his head, and nips at my nipples that pebbled from just a kiss.
“Lucas, I—”
I stop when I hear the door open and dart to the bathroom.
Looking in the mirror, I attempt to will my face to lose some of the pink. When it finally does, I walk out and find Lucas leaning against the counter.
“We’re good, right?”
I take his hand and walk toward the door. “Yeah, real good.”
When dusk settles upon us, the strings of lights, one at a time, light up the party. The tents, dance floor, and yard are all lit up in soft yellow lights. Jade, Phoebe, and Becca are dancing. Lucas is walking back from escorting his mom to her car and heading toward his dad, Audrianna, and the girls. He was on edge when Kate was sitting with them, but all in all, I think it went well.
When a slow song comes on, he looks up and finds me. Punch cup to my lips, literally gawking at him, a few months ago, I would have been embarrassed. Now … now I love when he sees me. His eyes, they smolder. His lips quip up in a smile. Then he looks me over, just like he did day one, only now it’s not at all “offensive.”
I curl my finger, beckoning him, and he stands up and makes his way to me.
“Dance?” he asks.
He doesn’t wait
for an answer. He doesn’t have t0. He knows it already. But what he doesn’t know is I have a favor to ask of him.
“I’m being greedy right now,” I admit.
“It’s not greedy when it’s yours.”
I grin. “Good to know. Do me a favor?”
“Anything,” he says, looking down at the girls.
“Go ask my mom to dance?”
“Oh, wow, I was thinking—”
“Later.” I kiss his cheek.
I hurry over to Dad and grab his hand. “Dance with me, Daddy.”
“You only call me Daddy when you’re in deep, Tessa. What did you do now?”
I watch Lucas walking to the dance floor with Mom and smile back at Dad. “Just thought you looked like you wanted to dance.”
He looks over my head then back down at me, and I smile.
“Was a hard year, Daddy. Doesn’t have to be that way if you don’t want it to.”
I step back and tap Mom on the shoulder. “Mind if I cut in?”
Dad nods once and holds out his hand. “Mags … dance with me?”
She blushes. “Sure.”
Lucas pulls me tightly against him and whispers in my ear, “Very sneaky, baby.”
“Well, I feel bad for them. They fell out of love. I’m pretty sure they can find their way back.”
He nods and pushes some hair behind my ear.
“Plus, neither of them has had sex in a year.”
“Truth is you want them back together, right?”
“Yes, very much.”
He pulls me closer, and I rest my head against his chest.
“Look at my dad’s eyes. He loves her. She never had sex with Dr. Feel Good, and she misses our family. But I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone, so it’s top secret, all right?”
The song comes to an end, and over the sound system, I hear, “Testing one, two.”
Lucas grumbles, “Fucking Benji.”
“Tess, come sing for us,” Ben booms.
I look up at Lucas. “What do you want me to do, Lucas?”
“Go sing for me, baby.” He kisses me.
“You sure?”
He nods toward the DJ equipment.
I flip through the tracks and find a perfect song—our song. He asked me to sing for him, and that’s exactly what I do. I sing “Eternal Flame” and try not to laugh when he pulls Kendall out on the dance floor.
Before putting the mic back in the stand, I say, “Your turn, Ben.”
He bounds up and grabs the mic, and a song I knew from my neglected top one hundred list, a band I am currently obsessed with but unable to share with Jade, because one of the songs, a heartbreaking one, “Lightning Crashes,” reminds me of her loss. Thankfully, that’s not the one he sings, and I bet it’s because he feels it, too. He was there, after all. My rock that night. However, I could kick him when I see Lucas’s eyes rage when he sings the first line.
“I like the way my hand looked on your head.”
Thankfully, Jade runs up, grabs me, and makes me dance with her. “I love this band!”
“Me, too.” I smile.
“Except that one song.” Her lips pouts out. Obviously, she’s heard it.
I grab her hands. “But this one, yeah?”
She smiles. It’s forced at first, and then I wave Lucas, Phoebe, and anyone else who is in the general vicinity over to dance with us.
Ben doesn’t stop after that song, either. He sings “Low” by Cracker next.
I reach behind me and grab Lucas’s hands, resting them on my hips. Then I look over my shoulder and sing to him as I shake my hand. Luckily, this distraction seems to work.
Ben continues singing “Runaway Train” by Soul Asylum, and when Lauren’s face lights up, I glance at Ben and see he’s singing to her.
Lucas notices it, too.
I look up at him. “I. Love. You.”
“I know, baby, and you always will. And Benji will always be a tool.”
I hug him.
Once a few more songs play, and few people are dancing, I decide to grab Kendall, Becca, Phoebe, and even Lauren out to the dance floor. Once they’re dancing, I head to grab Lucas’s sisters.
Audrianna stops me and nods toward Ben. “What was that about?”
“Nothing.” I shrug.
“Tessa, he winked at you,” she whispers.
“I didn’t notice.”
“Okay. You and Lucas all right?”
“Absolutely. Audrianna, I have known Ben forever. There’s nothing there. A failed attempt to stay away from Lucas, which I never wanted to do. Lucas knows; he just gets angry sometimes. But he knows I don’t want him to be. Ben and Lucas have exchanged blows once. I don’t want that again. I chose Lucas and would over and over and over again.”
Audrianna looks over my shoulder and smiles.
“He’s standing right behind me, isn’t he?”
“Yes, I am.” He pulls me up to him. “I love you, baby.”
“Anyway?” I ask.
“Yes, of course. Boy … are we going to have fun at his party.?” He smiles sarcastically.
Audrianna laughs. “Thank God.”
“Mind if I sing again?” I ask.
“Of course. Have fun.”
On my way, I grab Kendall’s hand and drag her with me.
“No way.” Kendall tries to pull away.
“Kendall, you know this one.”
“Fine,” she sighs loudly.
“Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” by Elton John plays. We sing it like we always have—loud, proud, and way over the top. We both sing to Lucas, and he laughs the whole time, especially when Kendall sings Kiki Dee’s part. The older crowd trickles out on the dance floor, and when I see Mom and Dad, I make Kendall sing Daniel with me, too.
When we finish, Ben jogs up and sings some Stevie Miller, and then he asks me to sing with him. I look at Lucas, who lifts his chin.
We sing “Crocodile Rock,” alternating lines. For Lucas, I change the name Suzie to Benji, and we do it like Kendall and I had, but even more over the top. I pull Kendall up and make her sing with us, too. When the song ends, all three of us, and everyone remaining at the party, seems to really be digging the oldies.
“Another one?” I ask Ben.
“Not right now. I’ll save it for later.” He musses up Kendall’s hair, smacks a big, loud kiss on her cheek, and then gives me a quick hug. “Go. He’s very impatiently waiting.”
I hurry to Lucas and ask, “Dance with me?”
“Of course, baby, anything you want.”
“I left you a present in your back seat.” I wink. “I want that later.”
“How about now?”
“Too many people.” I laugh. “Feel free to go look if you want, but I’m not coming with you.”
“Go dance. I’ll be right back,” Lucas says, backing away.
Feeling crampy, I hurry to use the bathroom and yep, I’m starting my period. Lovely.
When he returns, his eyes are nearly black and extremely heated. He taps his wrist and mouths, “Let’s go.”
I shake my head and laugh.
“Tessa, everyone’s dancing, baby.” He grabs my hands and leans in. “Benji can keep them entertained, and we could disappear for an hour, and no one would know. Baby, please.”
I scrunch up my nose. “Not for a few days, Lucas.”
“No way.” He presses his forehead to mine and starts to grumble.
“Sorry,” I mimic his grumble back.
He squints his eyes. “You didn’t know?”
“Really, Lucas? Do you think, if I knew, I would have put that in your vehicle?”
He smirks. “No, your appetite is bigger than mine at times. Let’s go get some cake, baby.”
“I’m sorry.”
“For you or me?” He winks.
“Mostly me.”
Sitting on Lucas’s lap, being fed cake, I see Jade walk up to Ben. Whatever she asks causes him to cock his head to the side and look at her with concer
n. I’m not a lip reader, but I swear she says please.
He takes her hand and walks up to the mic.
“You think she’s okay?” Lucas asks.
“Yeah.” I nod.
I watch Ben say something to the DJ then grab the mic, and as soon as the song starts, tears blur my vision.
Ben cups the mic and looks at Jade, who is standing just a couple feet away from him as he starts.
“Lightning crashes,
A new mother cries.
Her placenta falls to the floor.
The angel opens her eyes.
The confusion sets in,
Before the doctor can even close the door.”
When both her shoulders lift at the same time, he takes the mic from the stand and walks to her, taking her hand and continuing to sing, eyes never leaving hers. He then touches her belly as he sings, “Oh, now feel it, comin’ back again, like a rolling thunder, chasing the wind.” Then he wraps his arm around her and pulls her into a one-arm hug. She buries her face in his shoulder as he continues singing the song she requested, her Tommy song.
I reach behind me and lightly grab the back of Lucas’s head, pull it to my shoulder, and lightly massage his scalp.
When the song ends, Ben hugs her tightly then wipes tears from her face. She says something to him, and his eyes grow bigger, concern striking them, but he nods. Anyone watching this knows that he’s concerned.
“Lucas”—I look back at him—“I think she needs us.”
He sniffs, clears his throat, and says, “Yeah.”
Ben begins to sing “Tears In Heaven” by Eric Clapton, and not without struggle to Jade, as Lucas and I make our way to her.
He was there. Ben was there.
En route, I glance around for Lauren, and she looks … confused. Passing her, I slow and give her a look, hoping she gets that he may need her. Still, she looks … confused.
Lucas stands behind Jade and wraps his arms around her, placing them right on her tiny little bump. I stand beside her and place one hand on top of his. Within moments, Phoebe, Alex, Becca, and Ryan are all surrounding her. Phoebe and Becca place their hands over mine, Alex on top of theirs, and Ryan … he takes Jade’s hand and puts it over all of ours.
