by Mj Fields
I run down the stairs, and Lucas bellows behind me, “Get that fine ass back up here.”
“Headed out.” I laugh as I fling the front door open and run outside, not a care in the world.
I hear a loud rap on the window and look up to see Lucas gaping. I blow him a kiss then twirl in a circle.
Seconds later, he runs outside, hopping into his shorts, picking up my clothes that he’s dropped on the way, and rushes to me.
He throws a shirt over my head.
“Seriously? A twist here? You’re putting clothes on me?”
Not saying a word, shoulder to stomach, he picks me up and tosses me over his shoulder. I laugh the entire way inside and as he kicks the door shut behind me.
Ass to granite, he crashes his lips against mine. Then he steps back, looking me over and running his hand over his hair. “I cannot believe you’re the same girl I fell in love with eight months ago.”
I look at him curiously.
“The way you love, Tessa, is amazing. I’m so glad—no, I’m blessed—to have you in my life. Wait right here, please.” He rushes out of the kitchen and up the stairs then right back down.
“Tessa, I know you have said several times that you’re only eighteen. I also know you were put here for me to love forever.” Lucas takes my hand and helps me off the counter. “I love you and will forever, Tessa Ross. You have changed me inside. I don’t want to ever go back.” Lucas takes a deep breath, and then the hand that was behind his back appears, holding a blue Tiffany box. He opens it, revealing a beautiful platinum diamond ring; princess cut and quite large. He looks at me, and I know he’s trying to figure out why I’m happy and terrified all at once.
I hold my hand to my heart then fan my face.
He smiles. “Promise me that, when you’re ready, whenever that is”—he takes my right hand and pushes the ring on my finger—“you take this ring and put it on your left hand, but today, I’m just asking for a promise.”
My feet start tapping, and a smile spreads across my face as I wrap my arms around his muscular shoulders then jump up and wrap my legs around him.
“Will you marry me someday, baby?”
“Yes, yep, uh-huh, and oh my God!” I laugh as he carries me up the stairs.
He kisses me gently as he lays me on his bed, hovers over me, and then slides deep inside of me. His movements are slow and rhythmic, like a song, a slow dance. This is making love, and it is as beautiful as I thought it would be.
We come together, slow, long, and hard, and when we finish, I whisper, “Lucas, that was beautiful.”
“I think so, too, baby.”
I hated leaving him that afternoon, and I hated hiding the ring, too. But before Lucas came over for Sunday dinner, I put it on so that he wouldn’t overthink it, worry about it and, truth be told, if it was seen, he could explain it.
At the table, when he kisses my hand, Jade exclaims, “Holy shit!”
“Jade,” Dad scolds her gently, and Uncle Jack just laughs.
“I’m sorry, but did you see Tessa’s freaking ring?”
Everyone looks, and I hold it out.
Dad coughs on his coffee then asks, “So, what does this mean, Lucas?”
“Well, it means that, when she is ready to say yes, and you’ve given me permission to ask her, I can put it on her left hand,” Lucas says quietly.
Dad scowls at me. “Tessa, has your mother seen that yet?”
“No, Daddy.”
“Good. That damn thing is bigger than the one I gave her when we’d been married for fifteen years.”
Alex and Jade both laugh, and so do I.
“You were raising kids; she’ll understand,” Lucas says.
“When did you buy that?” Jade asks.
He swallows hard. “When I went to visit my dad in October.”
“Wow, that was a long time ago. Why did you just give it to her now?”
“Well, some things came up.” He scratches his head and chuckles nervously.
“How the hell did you pay for it?” Jade asks.
“Jade, really?” I close my eyes and shake my head.
“No, it’s all right, Tessa.” He squeezes my hand. “I’ve worked for my dad every summer since I was fifteen. I’ve saved the money. Never needed it before,” Lucas answers on a laugh. “It did kind of suck when I thought I would never be able to give it to her, but now, well, now there’s nothing stopping us, right, Tessa Ross?”
“Right.” I grin.
Chapter Thirty Eight
On prom night, Ryan and Lucas roll into the driveway in a stretch limo. As Lucas gets out, I watch from out the window. He looks incredible. He’s definitely a tux guy.
Walking inside, he holds his hand to his heart. “You look absolutely gorgeous.”
My dress is a shimmery deep lavender. The top is a bustier—a lot like the one in the picture—that laces in the back. My hair is swept to one side with a few loose curls hanging on the opposite side. The way he looks at me makes me feel like I am, in fact, a princess.
Jade comes out in a low-cut, hot pink dress that fits her perfectly. Her dark hair is in a high French twist.
Ryan has shaved, and his hair is styled. He takes her in as he shakes his head. “Jade … you look absolutely beautiful.” His eyes then fall to her breasts, and she smacks his arm. He laughs. “You put them out there; I’m simply admiring the display.”
Jade smiles. “You clean up pretty damn good.”
Phoebe walks out in a long, black gown that fits her like a glove. She has a great body, with curves in all the right places. Her hair is up in curls that flow down the back of her head.
I love the way Alex looks at her—jaw clenches and releases before he takes in a deep breath. I’ve never seen Alex react like that.
“Phoebe, you look beautiful.” He takes her face in his hands, bends down about a foot, and kisses her lips softly.
“Wow,” Phoebe says after he stops.
My heart full for both the girls closest to me, I turn back to Lucas, whose eyes never left me.
“Like the dress, Lucas?” I whisper.
“Yes, very much. I can’t wait to undo those laces.” He bites his lower lip. “Mmm-mmm …”
Jade is voted prom queen, and I cry happy tears while whistling and cheering as she is crowned. She is shocked, completely and utterly shocked.
When Lucas is crowned king, it comes as no surprise, not at all, and something inside me, a feeling, a vision, like a dream but while awake, happens.
“You okay?” Phoebe asks.
I nod, smiling at them. “They’re going to be together longer than he and I will be.”
“Oh my God, why would you say that?”
I shake my head. “Not like that, but he will always be a part of her life.”
“And you’re wearing his ring,” Phoebe reminds me.
I look at her and try to explain. “It’s beautiful, Phoebe, not in any sexual way, but those two, king and queen, it’s perfect.”
“You didn’t win because Sadi’s cunt club didn’t vote for you.”
“This means absolutely nothing to me. I didn’t win, because Jade deserves it, and so does Lucas.”
She still doesn’t get it, but I do. I totally do.
Over the next few weeks, I watch the bond between Lucas and Jade grow, and that’s when Phoebe gets it; sees the beauty in it. The reality is that Jade and Lucas, they share the love Tommy Lane gave, love that is healing them.
“He’s their angel,” Phoebe whispers while at the sports award ceremony where Tommy’s Jersey number is retired.
“He is, and that baby, the gift he gave them, gave us all.”
The next few weeks have been flying past us all—softball, baseball, school, end of the year … senior year activities, finals, and graduation party planning.
Alex, Jade, Lucas, and I have decided to have our parties together. Landon was opposed to it, but that didn’t matter to Lucas.
Alex is our class valedictor
ian, and Lucas, salutatorian. Alex received a full scholarship to Cornell, and Lucas to Syracuse. Unbeknownst to all of us, Ryan applied to SUNY Cortland after recruiters for their football program approached him. He was also offered a full ride. Becca and Phoebe will be attending there, as well. Jade and I were signed up for summer classes at Tompkins Community for the summer, and I will start there and stay as long as she needs me to. Mom asked me if I were sure I didn’t want to go away, and I informed her that I have no desire to. Plus, spending more time with Kendall and Jake is high on my priority list. The last several months, I haven’t been what I needed to be for them, and I could possibly make up for it this way, and that is not something I share with anyone.
At the senior sports award ceremony, Tommy’s family receives a letter from Syracuse. I have a feeling Lucas, or maybe Landon, pulled strings to make that happen for them, since I know his plans were otherwise, but that’s not something his folks were aware of.
So, Tommy would have been attending SU and playing ball, if fate had not chosen otherwise. Tommy’s high school number is retired in a lovely ceremony, not a dry eye in sight.
The graduation ceremony is held outside on the football field. Alex and Lucas both speak. Alex’s speech is strongly focused on faith and paths. Lucas’s is about brotherhood and driving your own destiny, regardless of the road.
There is an empty chair, draped in black, in the back row. The seats set up alphabetically, it represents Tommy. I hold Jade’s hand most of the time, only letting go when one of us has to wipe away our tears.
Kate met someone finally, after all these years, who Lucas thinks she might be with for a long time. Her boyfriend is one of the counselors at Tully Hill. Everything is finally looking up for Lucas, and he is happy.
After the ceremonial cap toss, Lucas and I get in his SUV.
When he starts to unzip his gown, I stop him. “You know, I was watching you all covered up on stage, and I couldn’t help but think about what might be waiting for me under that robe. You drive; I want to check it out.”
The fact I love giving head, insane as it sounds, is true. Penises, Lucas’s penis, are fascinating. Like, seriously. He also is so much happier afterward, and my guy needs some happy after that.
I lift his robe and wink.
Lucas shakes his head. “It’s all yours, baby.”
Ryan and Phoebe rode with Alex. Jade is meeting us, with Uncle Jack, after visiting Tommy’s grave with his family, to share the news of his acceptance. Mrs. Lane very much wants to be close to Jade. Although it pains Jade to watch her cry, she does as she’s asked, for Tommy.
It doesn’t go unnoticed that Lucas is aggravated by this. He thinks Jade needs to be in less stressful situations, to be able to heal, for her, for the baby, and because Tommy would want that for her.
Walking into the house—Lucas hangs back with Dad and the guys—it’s good to see Mom in the kitchen.
“How are things with you and Lucas?” she asks.
“Perfect, Mom. I love him so much.”
“You’re being safe, right?”
“Mom …” I reply a bit defensively.
“What, Tessa? Do you think I don’t see the way you two look at each other?”
And … Lucas walks into the house at that embarrassing moment.
“Just like that,” she whispers. “Shall I ask him?”
I laugh, knowing she won’t. “Sure.”
Lucas hugs me from behind and kisses the top of my head.
“Good morning, Mrs. Ross.” Lucas smiles.
I look at the clock. It is still morning … for thirty more minutes.
“Good morning, Lucas. Can I ask you a question?”
I think I might be sick.
He smiles. “Sure.”
“Are you and Tessa being safe?”
“Mom …” I plead.
Lucas clears his throat. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
She sets the pot of water on the stovetop, turns, and looks at him. “When you and my daughter have sex, are you making sure to use protection?”
“Mags!” Dad … freaking Dad, walks in.
“Holy shit.” I palm my face.
“Your mouth, Tessa,” Mom warns, but she still continues on. “Well, Lucas?”
“Okay.” He pauses. “Tessa and I love each other, and we’re both pretty smart. I’ve known from a couple weeks after I met her that I felt that way. And to answer your question, of course we are.”
“Have you been tested for diseases, Lucas?” Maggie asks.
“Mom!” I stomp my foot.
“Jesus, Mags! I’ll be outside … hiding.” Dad exits quickly.
“Tessa, it’s fine,” Lucas says. “Yes, ma’am, and Tessa went with me in Jersey. I’m free of all diseases, which I was pretty positive I was, anyway. There was only one other person I have had sex with who I didn’t use a condom with.”
Mom clearly wasn’t expecting him to answer, not honestly, anyway. And, well, me freaking, either!
“How many people have you had sex with, Lucas?”
“Mom, that’s enough!” I yell.
At the same time, Lucas drops the bomb. “Thirteen, including your daughter.”
Mom goes all hand to heart.
“I love Tessa and will be faithful to her, and I have been. I plan to marry her when she’s ready. I hope you believe me. I won’t lie to you. Is there anything else, Mrs. Ross?”
Mom clears her throat then heads toward the other room. “No, Lucas. Thank you for being honest.”
I look at him and shake my head. “I’m so sor—”
“I love you, baby. It’ll be fine. Just wish she’d asked how many girls I made love to. My answer would have been one.”
Aw …
“I’m going outside to try to help … and avoid any ass-kicking your father may give me.”
“I love you, Lucas.” I hug him.
“Love you, baby.”
Once he leaves, Mom walks back in and looks at me.
Annoyed and, yeah, kind of scared, I ask, “Do you have any more questions?”
“No, Tessa, but you do know your sister is saving herself for marriage, right?”
I nod.
“And Alex … Oh, Tessa, has Alex …?”
“No, Mom.” I raise my hand, as if in class. “Just me.”
“Does he know about you?” Maggie asks.
“Yes, but it’s not like he has encouraged me—I am eighteen,” I defend him and myself. “And he knows that you put me on the pill.”
“He didn’t pressure you, did he?” Mom asks.
“No, Mom! I actually went to him the first time. He turned me down before that.”
“Does it make you uncomfortable?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“So, then it’s something you enjoy?”
“Do you honestly want to know?”
“I want to know that you’re not hurting or in pain.” Mom tears up.
“Pain and hurting was after my exam,” I inform her. “With him …” I shrug and try to smile. “It’s amazing.”
“All right, I think I’ve heard enough.” Mom starts to turn.
“Mom, have you had sex with the doctor?”
She whirls around. “No, Tessa. I haven’t had sex in almost a year.”
Curious and since we’re all full-disclosure, I ask, “How do you stop doing that? I can’t imagine.”
“You just do.”
“And the doctor is all right with that?”
“Tessa, I broke things off with him before Christmastime.” Tears fill her eyes. “I miss my family.”
“Then come back, Mom.”
“I don’t think I can.”
“Dad loves you. Can’t you see the way he looks at you?”
“Tessa, I know your father, and he would never … I would demand counseling. I want to feel the way, well, the way you do now. The passionate love forever, and he and I are way past that.”
We shall see, I think as I hug h
er. “Okay, Mom.”
“Tessa, please don’t tell your brother or father about this conversation.”
“I won’t.”
Jesus L. Christ, that was uncomfortable.
I walk out and see John at the fire pit, basting the chicken halves for the guests arriving shortly, and realize that feeling is about to get more intense.
“John, I’m sorry about—”
“I’m not an idiot,” John say, looking up. “Are you honestly sorry?”
“If you’re angry, I’m sorry. I love her.” I shrug. “Always will.”
“All right then, make sure you do.” John nods. “We have a party to get ready for, boy.” He smacks me on the back.
“What can I help w—”
“It wasn’t in the hot tub, was it?” he cuts me off with a whisper.
“No, sir, we haven’t done it there yet,” falls out of my mouth, and Alex laughs when I realize how fucked up that sounded.
John points the basting brush at Alex. “Have you?”
“No, Dad.” Then he mumbles, “Can’t say I haven’t wanted to.”
“You and Phoebe haven’t?” I ask.
“No, Lucas. I’ve been waiting for you.” Alex wraps an arm around me, and I laugh.
“Well, at least someone’s getting some,” John mumbles under his breath.
Tessa walks out and taps her father on the back. “Daddy, are you mad?”
“Disappointed, Tessa.” John’s whole stance changes.
Alex chuckles. “But, Dad, you just said you were happy someone was—”
“Enough, son.” John glares at him. “And happy was not the word I used.”
“Sorry, Daddy.”
“Good.” He turns and looks at her. “Don’t do it again.”
I used to admire John …
Tessa doesn’t say a word; she just hugs him then walks away.
Chapter Thirty Nine
Five minutes before the party is set to begin, Landon, Audri, and the girls pull in. We meet them at their SUV, with Chewy at the heel, which basically means the girls don’t care one bit that we are here. They did just leave us a couple of hours ago after a million pictures were taken, so it’s not as if it’s impossible that Chewy is just way more interesting.
