by Mj Fields
As I get closer, after each person’s order, I hear her ask questions like, “How fast would you like that?” and “Would you like me to speed that up for you?” or “I could get you this drink … faster.”
When I get to the front of her line, she switches off with one of her field hockey teammates. Sonya, I think.
“You wanna wait on your guy,” she asks Tessa.
She looks at her, not me, and says, “Oh, I will get to him but, by all means, I’m going to take my time.”
And there I stand for-fucking-ever, waiting.
When the line has basically vanished, Sonya calls to Tessa, “Lucas has been waiting here for a long time. I think he wants you to take his order.”
She slowly walks over to me. “What can I get for you, Lucas?”
“Can we talk?”
She looks around. “A little busy right now.”
I look around, just like she did, and ask, “Really?”
“Well, everyone around here is so slow. Most people like fast and proficient service, and you know me, I just can’t slow down. So, maybe you would prefer one of them.” She smiles tightly.
I reach across the counter, grab her face, and kiss her. She pulls back.
“Baby, I’m sorry.”
She scowls. “Do you think that sorry will make it better?”
“I was kind of hoping it would.” I give a pout. She seems to like that … or did. “Can you please come talk with me?”
“I will give you a quick minute,” she replies sarcastically. Then she ducks under the counter and pops up, arms crossed, tapping her foot impatiently.
I grab one of her hands and walk her to the bleachers set up in front of the bandstand.
“Look, I missed you today. I wanted to spend time with you, Tessa. I was pissed because you wanted it over and done with so you could get back here. It hurt my feelings.”
“So, you complain about that?” she says with totally disgust.
“I said I was wrong, baby.”
“Well, you will be when you’re trying to do that yourself,” she snaps, and my eyebrows shoot up. “You made me feel worthless and disgusting, and it hurt me, Lucas.”
I look down then peer up at her in full pout mode. “I was an ass, Tessa. I’m very sorry.”
“I accept your apology.”
“No, you don’t. You’re still pissed. I get it. Sorry just the same.”
“You complained, and you got pissed at how I sucked your dick? Yes, I’m pissed. That one’s going be a little hard to get out of my head.” Tessa stands. “Goodnight, Lucas.”
I grab her arm and gently pull her back, fold her into a hug, and kiss her neck. “Baby, I love you. Please forgive me. Please.” Kiss. “Please.” Kiss. “Please.” Another kiss. After about twenty, she starts to relax, and I can’t help sinking my teeth into her neck on the next one. She leans into me and lifts her chin, giving me her lips.
All better.
“Tessa, I love you.”
“You hurt my feelings today,” she whispers in a way I can tell it shocks her.
“I know. I’m sorry.” I kiss her neck gently again. “Whatever I need to do to make up for it, I will.”
“I need to get back there.” She pulls away.
Irritation returns. “You won’t come home with me?”
“For what? So I can lay next to you and feel like a whore?”
Totally fucked, and I know it.
I kiss the top of her head. “Tessa, you know I don’t feel that way. Can I see you tomorrow?”
“I sent you my schedule earlier,” she says, walking away.
When I get home, I send a message to her pager.
4124, my street address, meaning home.
When I wake, there are no missed calls.
Fuck.
When Ryan walks in, I simply nod as I make my way through my list.
“Good morning. Everything okay?” Ryan asks.
“Just tired. Long night.”
“Nice. Me, too,” he says with a smile in his voice, which is new and good for him Jade, and TJ.
“Good for you. Mine was not nice. I pissed Tessa off, so now I have to figure out how to make it better.”
“You send flowers yet?” Ryan asks.
“Oh yes.” I laugh.
Chapter Forty Seven
When I arrive at work, there is a picnic table full of flowers, all yellow roses and white daisies, and not just a few, but an entire table full, and a big balloon that reads, “I’m sorry.”
Cassidy looks at me and shakes her head.
“He’s ridiculous,” I say, laughing instead of trying to stay pissed to play this off.
“What the hell did he do? Kill your dog?” Cassidy laughs.
“No, worse.” I laugh but do not go into detail. And not because I’m ashamed, but because, seriously, who gets pissed about a blowjob? It’s embarrassing on many levels. One being the fact that someone may think my skill sucks; and the other, a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach that I’m never going to be able to do enough to keep him happy. Until last night, until he got agitated with me, I was sure everything was going to be good with us. He’s amazing—he truly is—but maybe … it’s just me.
I pluck the card out of one of the dozen or so bouquets and read his note.
Some may think this is overkill, but I truly am sorry. To avoid an awkward conversation about what your dickhead boyfriend did that warranted this type of groveling, simply tell them that I forgot to close the toilet seat.
Okay, maybe it’s not me.
Cassidy asks, “What the hell did he do?”
“He left the toilet seat up.” I laugh. Then I have a thought. “I need to make a call. Cover me?”
“You’re ten minutes early. The little darlings won’t be here until then,” she reminds me.
First, I call Mom and ask what they decided on flowers when she said they hadn’t finalized that yet, but Molly was considering wild flowers. I told her to get down here and see what Molly thinks. Either way, grab them so they don’t get messed with.
Then I drop another quarter in the payphone and dial Lucas.
It’s busy. Grrr…
Molly loves them, and they take them away. I hoped to talk to Lucas about it, but was sure he’d be okay with it.
At lunch, Pizza Boy delivers pizza for the staff and kids with a verbal message, “Your boyfriend had these delivered for you and the kids. He asked me to tell you that he’s sorry for leaving the seat up?”
I laugh and thank him.
With no time to call and thank Lucas, I decide I need to get creative.
I had the kids make signs that said, “thank you,” took some Polaroids, and stowed them in my bag.
Today being the last day of summer recreation, it’s perfect. I couldn’t ask for anything more until …
A freaking ice cream truck pulls in and stops outside the pavilion. The driver jumps out, holding a sign with my name on it.
I seriously just throw my hands up as I walk over to him. “That would be me.”
“Lucas asked that we come and has paid for each kid and staff member to receive an ice cream of their choice.” He then leans in and whispers, “He asks that I tell you he is sorry for leaving the seat up.”
“It was awful.” I laugh before blowing my whistle and waving at the dozens of little eyes peering out to come running out.
“All right, you little savages”—Cassidy laughs—“form a line!”
“All right, guys, remember Lucas? The one who sent the pizzas? Well, he wants each of you to have ice cream!” I shout, and they all cheer. “Before you get yours, you have to promise me that, when you and your folks are watching SU college football, you cheer him on. No boos, got it?”
They all scream in agreement.
Cassidy walks up to me, shaking her head, and I throw an arm around her. “Smile, Cass, summer starts in less than an hour.”
“Two weeks of summer,” she grumbles. “Adulthood is already overr
ated.”
When I get home from work, Mom, Molly, Jade, Phoebe, and Becca are all in the kitchen, loading coolers.
Jade grins. “The guys are meeting us down there to help unload.”
Molly’s wedding is tomorrow, being held at the same place that I spent the past several weeks—The Glen.
Pulling into the park with Molly and Mom, the girls following behind, I smile when I see Lucas’s vehicle.
He’s here.
When he doesn’t come over right away, I get that feeling, the one you get when you know you have to grow thicker skin, a fucking heart callus.
It’s Molly’s weekend, I remind myself as I begin to unload coolers.
Alex, Cory, Dad, Jake, Ryan and, behind them, Lucas walks out and begins taking them from us as Phoebe, Jade, and Becca carry in the paper products and linens.
Lucas avoids eye contact, but when he looks at me, he smiles sweetly. And he looks sweet, from his white hat covering his eyes, to his button-up plaid shirt, down to khaki cargo shorts and flip flops. Something about bare feet is incredibly sexy, and Lucas’s are rarely naked.
When I walk past him, I nudge him. “Hey, Lucas.”
“Tessa,” he says quietly as he takes my cooler, the last one.
“How was your day?” I ask, allowing him.
“It sucked,” he huffs.
“Really?” I ask as I walk away.
What an ass. What a complete freaking ass.
I stomp toward the Jeep, and before I get to it, I hear feet pounding pavement behind me.
He moves in front of me and shoves his hands in his pockets. “What did I do now, Tessa?”
“It sucked?” I say. “I’m not slow. I catch on fast. You made me feel like shit last night, you do all sorts of over-the-top sweet things all day long, and then you say that?”
He closes his eyes, hangs his head, and then shakes it back and forth. “That’s not what I meant, Tessa.” His tone is defeated. “I’m sorry.”
“Hey, Tessa, you two want to run up and grab the rest of the stuff? I think one trip will get what we need tonight,” Mom says as she appears by my side. “Oh, and the flowers.” She smiles at Lucas. “Might need to make two trips.”
“I can get it in one.” I step around and grab the door handle.
“If you take Lucas’s vehicle, you may be able to make it in one trip, Tessa. Waste not, want not.” Mom smiles as she walks away.
I let out a frustrated breath. “Fine.”
He opens the door for me, and I tell him, “I’m not incapable.”
He says nothing.
When he gets in, I turn on the radio so I don’t have to talk to him, not now. “How Do You Like It” by Keith Sweat starts, and I look out the window, as to not laugh. Instead, I sing it, and I do so loudly.
“Nice song.”
“Well, at least he asks,” I huff, still fighting laughter.
The fucking DJ must be on something because Boston’s “I Need Your Love,” a freaking ballad, should not follow that song.
When he pulls into the farm, I hop out and hurry inside the house, letting Chewy pass by to get to Lucas. Traitor.
I pile several boxes on top of one another then head out. Lucas is at the door, and he takes them from me.
“There’s more,” I say as I turn and head back in.
Watching him put them in the back of his vehicle, stereo still blasting outside as he stops and picks up Chewy’s ball, the song changes to Sheryl Crow’s “All I Wanna Do Is Have Some Fun.”
“Yep, drugs,” I say as I begin setting vases of flowers into some flat boxes and sing along with Sheryl because, yeah, that’s the mood I want to be in, too.
“Baby,” he interrupts my singing, and I turn to see him nodding at the flowers.
“Sorry. I tried to call and ask if—”
“Maggie called and thanked me. Glad they won’t be wasted.”
Immediately on edge, I nod, scoop up one of the boxes, and head out. “Right.”
After I set the flowers in carefully, I turn to see him with a flat in each hand. I take one and set it next to the other. Once they are all loaded, I turn.
“I’m sorry,” he says sweetly.
At the same time, I snap, “They weren’t wasted. I appreciated and loved everything you did toda—”
He grabs the back of my head, and crashes his lips to mine, my hands captured between us, inching up his abs, his chest, stalling over his heart, needing to feel it beat for me, up his shoulders, and into his hair.
His kiss grows urgent; mine needy. He tightens his grip as he lifts me up by my ass. I dig my nails into the back of his neck as I hold on tighter.
On the deck, he sets me on my feet, hands gripping my face, tongue lunging into my mouth. I pull his shirt up and over his head, and then I move to unbutton and unzip his shorts. I suck on his tongue like I want to his dick, but then … I stop.
He moves me back, calves hitting the back of the chaise, as he bends forward, forcing me back.
He undressed me quickly then kisses his way down my body even quicker. Tongue splitting me, plunging inside deeply, then lips surrounding my clit, he sends me into orbit instantly. Then, my ankles resting on his shoulders, he quickly and fully, so fucking fully, thrusts in. He doesn’t wait for me to get comfortable; he fucks me. He fucks me hard, he fucks me fast, and he fucks me completely.
When I cry out my orgasm, he groans out, “Baby … I love you.”
I lie there, trying to catch my breath, eyes closed.
“Tessa, if you don’t say it back, I’m going to fucking lose it.” He folds his body, crashing his mouth over mine, lips to mine, and whispers, “Please tell me you don’t hate me.”
“Lucas, you ass.” I shove him off me. “I love you, but what are you thinking?” I push him again, angry that he could so easily think that after all we’ve been through. How could he? “Pissed doesn’t mean I don’t love you.” I grab my clothes.
“Well, how am I supposed to know that, Tessa?” he asks, throwing his clothes on.
“You just are. You don’t stop loving someone because you’re angry that they acted like a fuckhead.” I throw mine on, too.
“Well, Tessa, all this love stuff is pretty new to me. I may suck at the relationship thing, but I love you, and I won’t stop saying it!” he yells, buttoning his shorts.
“Well, we have something in common, because I apparently suck at sucking!” I yell back then walk away.
He starts laughing, and I whip around, giving him an are-you-freaking-crazy look before storming to the door, opening it, and slamming it behind me.
After cleaning up, I walk outside.
He’s grinning, and I roll my eyes as I pass him on my way to the vehicle.
He lets Chewy inside the mud room then jogs to the vehicle. Sliding in, he asks, “Baby, we fighting after sex now?”
I nod curtly. “Apparently, we do.”
“I leave for school in two fucking weeks. It’s not far away, but after you pointing it out before I started work, it still fucks with me knowing I’m not going to be able to be with you every day. I love the way you touch me, the way your lips touch mine, and when you’re sucking my cock, it’s fucking amazing. But it was like you were giving it to me and not taking it for you. And frankly, I’m pretty shocked about last night. Five minutes kind of fucking shocked. That’s not all on you, Tessa. I came real quick, and I don’t do that, not with you.”
Not with you.
He continues, “I saw you hanging on another guy, and yes, I was annoyed. And then I felt stupid when I found out he’s your cousin,” he says, looking down and shaking his head. “I love you. I don’t want to fight. I want to see you laugh, and smile, and look at me like you love me and want me. That’s all I got, Tessa. All I got except, again, I’m sorry.”
“Well, that’s all I need.” Tears fill in my eyes, mostly happy with a bit of that old insecurity coming to play. “I’m going to miss you just as much. I’m a bit touchy, too. You’re going t
o college, and Sadi is going to be there, and I don’t know … What if you meet someone else? What if you get drunk and touch someone else that way that I love for you to touch me? What if you fall in love with someone else?”
“That’s not going to happen, Tessa, not ever,” he says softer as he leans over, takes my chin, and kisses me. “Never loved anyone else but you, Tessa. Never will be anyone who loves me like you do. Not ever.”
Lucas’s phone rings as he holds me tightly.
“Seriously need a vacation, me and you, alone,” he grumbles as snatches his phone from the dash and answers, “This is Lucas.”
“You guys get lost?” It’s Jade.
Arm still around me, ear pressed to his phone and his shoulder, he answers as he starts the truck and Nine Inch Nails blasts “Closer.”
“Fuck,” Lucas sputters, phone falling, and I catch it, laughing.
“We’re on our way,” I tell Jade.
She giggles. “You sure about that?”
“Yeah.”
“You need my help, or can I go Nine Inch Nail my husband?”
Laughing, I answer, “I think we have it covered. Enjoy.”
“What’s so funny?” Lucas asks, putting the vehicle in gear.
“Jade. I think she’s enjoying married life.”
“I’m pretty sure of it. Ryan looks happy but tapped.” He winks. Then he asks, “Baby, you think you can do that again? Before we get to the park?”
“Nope,” I huff.
“Okay then.” He sighs. “That’s not going to happen again, is it?”
I reach over and unzip him, leaning down. “As if I could stop myself from wanting you every time I see you. Your feet even turn me on.”
I finish as we pull into the park.
“Nice, Tessa,” he says, adjusting himself before we get out. “My feet?”
He meets me around the back of the vehicle.
“Yes, they’re sexy.” I wink.
He laughs. “No, Tessa. Sexy is what I see in front of me, with a dash of hot. Quite a dash.”
I feel arms around me and look over my shoulder to see Troy, who whispers in my ear, “Tessa, your shirt’s on inside out.”
