Under Grey Clouds (The Osprey Series Book 2)

by Kaylie Kay

  Chapter 50

  ‘Oh, Sophia, it looks beautiful,’ Susan said, looking around her daughter’s room, having just been called up for the big reveal.

  ‘Mum, now come and see mine,’ Lewis said impatiently, taking her hand and pulling her in the direction of his room.

  ‘Wow, Lewis, it looks amazing,’ she gushed convincingly, looking around at his haphazard decorating. Tinsel hung from everything, and the cuddly toys that had long since lost their ability to sing and dance were lined up across the centre of the room as if off to battle. It was a far cry from Sophia’s carefully draped lights and pretty things, all coordinated and girly.

  ‘So, whose is best?’ His broad smile said that he thought his room was definitely the winner, despite the smugness of his sister, who was standing in his doorway looking around with a definite sneer on her face.

  ‘Oh, darling, they are both wonderful, I couldn’t possibly choose.’ Susan hated it when they insisted that she choose a winner, she couldn’t bear the disappointment of the one who lost. Ultimately Sophia, being the eldest, was generally the better drawer, runner, decorator, and so on, which explained her eagerness to make everything a competition, but Lewis was still young and naive enough to believe he was a strong contender in everything.

  ‘Muuum.’ Sophia was annoyed. ‘I hate it when you do that, just choose.’

  Susan looked at her daughter, wishing she could for a brief moment go back a couple of years, to when she couldn’t do anything wrong in her eyes.

  ‘Sophia, I’m sorry, but they are just two completely different styles, so I can’t compare them.’ Susan was pleased with her answer, logging it for use in future similar situations. Sophia just rolled her eyes. No doubt in another year or two she would need to up her game even more, but for now she had won the battle.

  ‘Anyway,’ she added, looking at her watch, ‘Dad will be home soon to do the tree, so I’m just going to go and freshen up.’ She had been working hard all day and didn’t want to look quite so dishevelled when her husband arrived home.

  She walked into her room, sat down at her dressing table, and stared at the face that looked back at her from the mirror. It was looking a little tired, she thought, or maybe age was finally catching up with her, but nothing a little makeup wouldn’t sort out. Opening her drawer, she took out her bag of everyday miracles, the things that she couldn’t do without. Just as she went to close it something caught her eye and she stopped in her tracks. The highlighter that had been missing was looking back at her, as if it had never been gone. In fact, the drawer seemed to be fuller again, although she had never really worked out what else had been taken. She wondered for a moment if Sophia had snuck it back, but then remembered the tears and how she had believed her daughter that day. No, she must have just missed it, and the drawer had always been this full, she shrugged, not entirely convinced.

  The thunder of the kids’ footsteps down the stairs and excited voices heralded Jeff’s return. Susan looked down from the landing at the happy scene and descended quickly to join in the group hug. She loved that Jeff was always as excited as her to start the Christmas celebrations, and decorating the tree together on the first of December was their family tradition.

  ‘Let me just take my coat off,’ he laughed as the children pulled him into the lounge. ‘Wow, would you look at the size of that!’ he declared, stopping in his tracks and looking up at the tree, awestruck.

  Susan was pleased at his reaction. Luke had excelled this year in his task to get the best tree yet.

  ‘Let me take that,’ she said as she took his coat off him. ‘The lights are just there, all tested and ready for you.’

  ‘Well I’d better get stuck in then,’ he said, clearly aware that two pairs of young eyes were sitting watching him intently, waiting for him to light this big boy up. Susan returned minutes later as Jeff was leaning precariously from the stepladder putting the last of the bulbs at the top of the tree.

  ‘Right, hit the switch,’ he called down, and both of the children scrabbled for the socket.

  ‘Careful, you two,’ Susan warned.

  The lights transformed the green pine into a beautiful centrepiece, and they were all silent for a moment as they admired it.

  ‘Well that’s that,’ said Jeff, now at the foot of the ladder.

  ‘Can we start now?’ asked Lewis, breaking the silence.

  ‘Of course,’ said Susan.

  Two huge boxes of decorations sat on the floor, enough baubles for each branch to wear one, she was sure. She would let them all do their worst, carefree and oblivious of her desire of uniform spacing and symmetry. Then later, when they went to bed she would work her magic, a few changes here and there and all would be well.

  ‘Ooh,’ cooed Sophia at the big chiffon bows that Susan had brought back recently from the States.

  ‘Aren’t they beautiful,’ Susan beamed, remembering all of the trees in the hotel lobbies that she had seen wearing them, hoping that this tree would be just as beautiful, eventually.

  Jeff’s arm felt nice around her shoulder as they stood and watched their offspring work together, without arguments, on their project.

  ‘Don’t you just love Christmas,’ Susan said excitedly, looking up at him.

  ‘You know I do.’ Jeff leant down and kissed her.

  The moment was perfect, everything about it, until…

  ‘Oh, I’ve been meaning to mention it, but Mum and Dad were hoping to come for Christmas this year, to stay a couple of days. They want to enjoy it with the family.’

  Susan felt her body tense, and she didn’t care if Jeff felt it too, he wasn’t so stupid as not to know this would never be well received.

  ‘But they always go on their cruise,’ Susan said lamely, trying to hide her despair.

  ‘I know.’ Jeff at least had the decency to sound unhappy about it too. ‘Look, I know they can be difficult, but they’re getting old, and I couldn’t say no.’

  Susan looked up at him. So that was that, the decision had been made and since she had no control over the situation she could only control how she dealt with it now. Maybe he did have a point, she reasoned reluctantly, they were old, but she didn’t know if she could hold it together if they ruined her Christmas. It had always just been them on Christmas Day, with family visits around the holiday, but the day was always just theirs. She would have loved to have had the big family feasts that she had seen in pictures, but what with her often difficult family, and his, she had always been happy for it to be just them. The fact that his parents always went on a cruise had just made it easier for it to be that way.

  ‘It will be fine,’ she said eventually, once she had convinced herself, and she could sense the imaginary weight lift off his shoulders.

  ‘Thank you, I do love you.’ He held her tight for a moment.

  Susan looked around her when he let her go, at all that he gave her. How could she be difficult over his parents coming for Christmas? No, they wouldn’t spoil it, it would be as wonderful as always.

  Chapter 51

  Lucy sank into the worn armchair and put her head in her hands. Today had been such a hard day, to be surrounded by all of the Kennedys’ Christmas cheer while she would have loved to have pretended that the whole season wasn’t even happening. She had been on autopilot all day, trying to go through the motions, treating it all as just a job that needed doing. She had even managed to block out the music that Mrs Kennedy had insisted on playing, listening to her own, more sombre soundtrack in her head instead.

  She hadn’t really been thinking about her mum, although it was always there, and when Mrs Kennedy had brought it all up she had been thrown for a moment. No, she had been thinking about lots of other things, the whole pile of problems that were stacked on her shoulders. Well, at least her mum’s passing was obviously excusing her from having to act at being okay, because she wasn’t okay, not at all.

  She looked despairingly at the pile of envelopes that sat on the mantelpiece. The on
es at the bottom were open, but not the top ones. She had stopped opening them a while ago, when she realised she couldn’t afford to pay them anymore, the credit card bills that had somehow got so out of control.

  She thought back to where it had all started, trying to work out where she had lost control. She had never had a credit card before, but when Mum had died, she hadn’t wanted to admit to her family that she couldn’t afford to help with the funeral, she didn’t want them to know that she was poor. It wasn’t that the Kennedys paid her badly, not at all, but whatever money that she had spare had gone to feed her gambling habit. It was only harmless fun, sometimes she would win and sometimes she would lose, but she never spent more than she had, so why should she feel guilty about it? She would stay up late at night trying to outwit the computers that would almost always win, for those rare moments of euphoria when she would be the winner. Some people drank, some smoked, some partied or bought expensive clothes, so why shouldn’t she spend her money on something that she enjoyed?

  Anyhow, without any savings she had succumbed to the lure of the credit card and the bills that were piling up were a testament to her weakness. First a casket, and yes her mum would have the best, she could pay it off in her own time. Then the wake, they had all just wanted a few sandwiches in the local boozer, but Lucy had seen how things were done properly, at the Kennedys’, and she wanted that for her mum. She may not have been able to do it for her when she was alive, but she knew her mum would have loved to have seen the people she cared about appreciating the catering as they sat in the upmarket golf club, commenting on how well her daughter had done.

  Until then she had thought it was under control, even working out how much she would need to pay each month to get it paid off, incorporating it into her bills. But it kept going up, not down, mostly spurred on by her new fake friends, and having to keep up appearances. The new shoes, the champagne and food. Now they were inviting her out for dinners, and she was having to buy clothes, she couldn’t risk borrowing Mrs Kennedy’s anymore, not after she had noticed the makeup missing, and the sleepless nights she had had until she had managed to sneak it all back. Now she would have to spend a small fortune on makeup too, she couldn’t go back to the cheap stuff she had been satisfied with before all of this.

  Her phone pinged and she lifted it up reluctantly.

  ‘Are you home tomorrow for a coffee?’

  It was Kate. Lucy wailed quietly, looking upward, as if maybe only a higher being could help her now.

  ‘No, sorry, I have lots of errands to run this week, Christmas shopping!’ she replied, lying, wondering when all of the lies were going to implode on her, because they were certain to one day.

  ‘No worries, let me know when you are free.’

  ‘Will do.’ Lucy was grateful for Kate’s easy-going manner; maybe she would suggest meeting somewhere next week. She had to admit she actually enjoyed Kate’s company, although she wished she didn’t have to keep up her own lies whilst Kate gave her all her truths. She would have to dissolve the friendship soon, there really wasn’t any other option, but she was just waiting for it to happen naturally, reluctant to engineer it. A small part of her thought that Kate might even forgive her if she explained how it had all happened, but her sensible side knew that she wouldn’t really want to be her friend anymore, and that she would tell the others. That was what she was scared of, the ridicule and scorn of Natasha and her peers. They would have an absolute field day, and she didn’t think that she could handle it any better now than she had as that insecure schoolgirl.

  A knock on the door was a welcome relief from her thoughts, not that she was expecting anyone. A sudden panic gripped her; what if Natasha had found out about her and come here to ‘out’ her? She stood motionless for a minute, grappling with reality, before walking as silently as she could along the hall.

  ‘It’s me, Luke,’ called the familiar voice of her nephew. She forgot for a moment that she was not talking to him, such was her relief that it was only him. She opened the door, replacing her relieved face with a stern one.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ she asked coldly.

  ‘I came to see if you are okay?’ He was looking at her so sweetly she felt the anger with him waning.

  ‘I’m fine, thank you.’

  ‘No, you’re not, aunty,’ he said in a kind but firm voice. ‘Let me in, I need to talk to you.’

  ‘Let me make us a cuppa,’ Luke said, walking through to her kitchen. He knew her too well, and she was struggling to stay mad with him. ‘Then you can tell me what I have done wrong. I’m not putting up with you ignoring me anymore!’ He gave her a cheeky smile, the one that had won her over so many times when he was a little boy. Without her own children Lucy had had plenty of time and energy to devote to being an aunty, and Luke had always been her favourite. Perhaps that was why she had been so upset with his behaviour, so disappointed. She sat back in her armchair and waited for him to bring in the tea, going over what she would say.

  ‘Here you go.’ He handed her a mug and sat down on the sofa, leaning forward. ‘Now hit me with it, what have I done?’

  ‘Oh, Luke,’ she said sadly, looking down at the tea, ‘how could you do it? You’ve got a lovely girlfriend, and that beautiful baby, and yet you’re sleeping around with these rich women who don’t even care about you.’ Her anger had turned to disappointment and she had tears in her eyes as she looked up at him.

  ‘Oh.’ It was Luke’s turn now to look down at his tea. He was silent for a while, and she was relieved that he didn’t try to deny it. ‘I’m sorry, aunty, I don’t know why I do it, it’s just hard to say no.’

  She nodded. She wasn’t stupid, or naive. Luke was a good-looking young man and she doubted that many men like him would be able to say no if the likes of Mrs Kennedy threw themselves at them. She respected him a little more now though, if only for his honesty, glad that he was still close enough to her to open up.

  ‘But, Luke, aren’t you happy? Is it worth risking everything you have for a leg-over in the summer house?’

  Luke’s eyes opened wider; he was obviously startled by her true understanding of the situation. He nodded his head, and she could see that he knew she was right.

  ‘It’s all over now anyway,’ he said eventually, confirming what she had suspected for a while anyway.

  ‘I hope so, Luke, that they are all over.’ Oh yes, he had to know that she knew there was more than one. ‘If I can find out about others, Luke, then so can anybody.’ She wasn’t going to go into how she found out, then he would be able to judge her, and right now this was about him.

  ‘Point taken, I know I’ve been stupid,’ he said. He sounded earnest enough, but she wondered if he would be able to resist any future temptation. At least she wouldn’t have to know about it anymore though if it was over with Mrs Kennedy, and she did believe him on that.

  ‘So now that that’s all out in the open, can you stop ignoring me now please, I’ve been missing my favourite aunt,’ he grinned.

  She couldn’t help but smile back. It felt good to smile, she hadn’t done that for some time. As she hugged him goodbye an hour later she clung on for just a moment longer than she normally would.

  ‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ Luke pulled back and looked at her seriously.

  ‘I will be,’ she said as a tear rolled down her cheek and he hugged her again.

  ‘You know where I am, just call me if you need anything, okay?’

  She nodded and closed the door behind him. Despite all of her new ‘friends’, Lucy felt lonelier now than she ever had done, alone with her troubles. She looked at the pile of letters again, picking them up and taking them to the armchair with her. She had just sat there and told Luke to sort himself out, now she was telling herself. She didn’t have a mother to scold her, or an aunt to tell her off; she was a grown woman now, and had to sort out her own problems. As she opened the envelopes she took a deep breath. Nothing would be solved by burying her head in the sand,
she would have to do something, about the money and the ‘friends’. She needed to get back to her old self, in her old life, where she didn’t feel lonely and out of control.

  Chapter 52

  Susan took one last look at the long list, having just ticked off the ‘M&S food order’, closing her notebook and dropping it onto her bag. Christmas was only two weeks away and she didn’t feel as prepared as she usually did. It was probably because Jeff’s parents were coming, the extra pressure of his mum’s critical eye taking some of her usual enjoyment out of it. She was nearly there though, and a few hours in the shopping mall in Toronto would hopefully be enough to finish off. She could be going absolutely anywhere in the world with the amount of sightseeing that she would be doing this trip. As much as she loved the Canadian city it was firstly too cold in the winter for her to go outside, and secondly it had an amazing mall near their hotel where she could happily get lost for hours.

  ‘Bye, Lucy, thanks for everything,’ she called as she opened the front door. Jeff was at work and Lucy would be picking the kids up from school in a few hours. Susan stopped for a moment to do up her coat, to protect her against the wind that howled across the driveway. She hoped that she had used enough hairspray to hold her style in this weather.

  ‘Oh, you’re welcome. Have a safe flight.’ Lucy came out from the kitchen, drying her hands on a tea towel. She definitely seemed a bit brighter now, Susan thought, relieved, hoping that she had turned a corner.

  She lifted her near-empty suitcase into the boot of her Range Rover, along with her small cabin bag. They would both be bursting on the way home, if previous Christmas shopping trips were anything to go by. Looking back at the house as she got into the driver’s side, she smiled at the lit-up reindeer that stood around the lawn, and the endless lights that hung from the roof, still glowing in the darkness of the winter’s day. Susan Kennedy was a lucky lady, and she would have to keep that in mind if Christmas became at all difficult!