A Month to Love 1

by Abbey North

  Lizzy leaned back in her seat, unable to hold herself upright for a moment. She was simply too shocked by what she’d heard. “Your poor sister.”

  Darcy seemed to be struggling to maintain a neutral expression when she looked at him by turning her head. “Indeed.”

  “I assume Miss Georgiana would support this sequence of events?” Lizzy had to ask, though she felt low for doing so.

  He turned his gaze from the road to stare at her incredulously for a moment. “She would, but I hope your manners are better than to reach out and ask a complete stranger for her accounting.”

  Lizzy flushed. “I have no intention of writing to your sister on such a matter, I assure you, Mr. Darcy. I was simply confirming Georgiana shares the same perspective on the sequence of events.”

  “She does,” he said stiffly as he looked back at the road.

  Lizzy plucked at her skirt for a moment. “You said you wished to discuss two matters with me via your letter. May I assume my poor sister was the other?”

  Darcy nodded. “I did not act out of malice toward your sister. My actions were to protect my friend. It will sound callous, but I gave Lady Jane’s thoughts on the matter or emotions little thought at all. I truly believed she had no interest in Charles beyond gaining a wealthy husband. You must understand your mother’s words at the Netherfield ball influenced me to believe such, combined with her sisters’ own…exuberant nature.”

  Lizzy gritted her teeth. She fought between anger and understanding, which she didn’t like. She didn’t want to feel at all sympathetic toward Darcy or find anything to understand about his actions when he had so thoroughly destroyed Jane’s hopes of happiness. “You are certainly wrong about my sister. I said it yesterday, and I say it again. She is shy, but she holds great affection for your friend, Mr. Bingley. You have done them both a great disservice with your attempts to separate them, sir.”

  Darcy was quiet for a moment, and then he nodded just once. “I am willing to entertain that possibility, Miss Bennet. I might have badly misjudged your sister, so I assure you that if an opportunity arises for them to interact again, I shall not stand in the way or try to divert Charles’ attention.”

  Lizzy wasn’t certain if she could be mollified with that. “That is very generous of you.” There was only a slight hint of sarcasm in her tone, though he must’ve picked up on it by the way his shoulders stiffened.

  “I sense you do not believe I am doing enough to rectify my mistakes?” His tone was clipped and cold.

  “You are very perceptive, Mr. Darcy. I merely suggest that you could do something to help reconcile them. Perhaps you could suggest Mr. Bingley return to Netherfield for a short time.”

  He sighed. “I am afraid I do not have enough faith in Miss Jane to take such an active role in reuniting them, Miss Elizabeth. I know that is not what you wish to hear, but I have given you all that I can. You have my word I shall not interfere with anything that develops between them, but I cannot promote it in good conscience either. I feel I would be doing a disservice to my friend until Miss Jane has proven herself and her loyalty to him.”

  Lizzy wanted to yell at him, but she managed to take a deep breath and constrain herself. “It is difficult to have her prove such a thing if they are not brought together. I would not wish to have you act in a manner that feels uncomfortable to you. I do hope your conscience will consider that you have already kept them apart long enough, and maybe you will reconsider.”

  “Perhaps.”

  That was the last word he said to her as they traversed the remaining distance back to Rosings Park and Hunsford. It gave Lizzy time to think about his words, and she had little trouble believing him about Wickham. Unfortunately, she also had little trouble believing he was acting out of what he considered best interests for Mr. Bingley, though she was still aggrieved that he did not consider Jane’s happiness or lack thereof when making decisions on how to proceed.

  It was with a new understanding of him that she parted from Darcy when they returned. He stopped away from Hunsford, so there would be no danger of Mr. Collins hearing the horses. “I should walk you the rest of the way. It is improper to leave you to find your way in the dark.”

  Lizzy got down from the phaeton without waiting for his help. “I assure you, I shall not get lost, Mr. Darcy. It is a straight quarter-mile to reach the rectory. It would be best if we are not seen together. This way, I can maintain the pretense that I was lost in the woods, and you will not have to account for your whereabouts as long as you are back in time for dining.”

  He seemed annoyed, but he stopped arguing. Lizzy turned and rushed away, not looking back. Part of her longed to do so, but she wouldn’t allow herself the indulgence. She had likely seen the last of Darcy, unless he relented about Jane and Bingley, and she had no reason to want to see him.

  When she returned to Hunsford Rectory, it was to find the Collins household in a tizzy. There were several other people present as well, and she feigned confusion as she walked into the parsonage. “I do hope you have not all gathered to look for me.” She turned to Mr. Collins and curtsied. “I am sorry, dear cousin, but I got lost in the woods. It was only with starlight that I was able to find my way back.” She looked around. “Where is dear Charlotte?”

  Collins was sinking in on himself. “I had hoped she was with you.”

  Lizzy shook her head. “I have not seen Charlotte at all this day. I saw her last night after dinner, when we had tea in the parlor, and then we both went to bed. I was up early this morning to walk, and then I somehow got turned around.” She hoped she was a better actress than she felt when she feigned surprise. “You mean Charlotte is not here?”

  “No, and no one has seen her all day. We are at a loss.” Collins seemed frantic. “Oh, what will Lady de Bourgh say if my wife is not found?”

  “Yes, Lady de Bourgh’s opinion is certainly paramount in this situation with Charlotte missing,” said Lizzy with a hint of tartness. Her criticism went unnoticed or unaddressed.

  No wonder Charlotte had found solace in Richard’s arms and had chosen a scandalous life to be with him. That Charlotte had managed to endure Collins for so many months was a credit to her friend. Lizzy feared she would have poisoned him within the first week, had she had the knowledge to do so.

  “Who are these people then?” asked Lizzy.

  “We have come from searching for Mrs. Collins,” said one of the men. He wore a homespun shirt, so he was clearly not part of the gentry. He must be a parishioner.

  “In that case, I think we should all continue searching, since she is not with me.”

  “No, we must end the search for the night. It is too dark, and it is dangerous. I will not have others in danger just to find my wife, who has behaved irresponsibly.” Collins spoke with his usual self-righteousness.

  Lizzy nodded her agreement and slipped into the room that was reserved for her use while she was visiting.

  Maria came in a few moments later, looking distraught. She hugged Lizzy as she sat on the bed. “Oh, what could have happened to Charlotte? It is unlike her to go wandering off. She does not enjoy the long walks like you do, Miss Elizabeth.”

  Lizzy debated for a moment, but she decided she could not keep the truth from Maria. “I have Charlotte’s confidence, but I can only share it with you if you can be discreet.”

  Maria frowned. “You want me to keep a secret?”

  Lizzy hastily amended that. “I only wish you to keep a secret from Mr. Collins. You are free to tell your parents as soon as we return to Meryton. You can even write to them ahead of time to warn them what has happened. I just do not wish for Mr. Collins to find out the truth any sooner than he has to.”

  Maria looked doubtful for a moment. “He is her husband. Surely he has a right to know what has happened?”

  Lizzy shrugged. “He is a husband of a sort, but he is not a good husband. He has made your sister most unhappy. If you do not wish to bear a secret though, I shall certainly keep it to my
self for now.”

  Maria reached out a hand to take hers. “Oh, please do not, Lizzy. I worry greatly for Charlotte, and I must know that she is safe.”

  “I can confirm that for you without revealing her full secret, if you prefer?”

  Maria seemed to think about it for a moment, and then she nodded. “Yes, that is perhaps best. I have never been good with secrets, and I have a feeling I would not wish to be accused of knowing what my sister has done in advance.”

  “Very wise of you, dear Maria. Be assured Charlotte is safe, but her reputation will not be. That is all you need to know for now.”

  Maria got to her feet, nodding at Lizzy. “Thank you for assuring me of that much. I do not feel compelled to share that brief amount of information with Mr. Collins.”

  “I am relieved, for he would surely push you to reveal how you knew that, and then he would come to me. I am sworn not to tell him.” Lizzy hadn’t actually taken an oath with her friend, but she felt honor bound to help Charlotte hide her actions as long as she could, to avoid detection. Her friend would be in Jamaica in a matter of weeks, living a different life, and hopefully that would be enough to keep Collins from ever finding her.

  Maria left her then, and Lizzy prepared herself for bed. There was no lady’s maid, so she had dressed more simply on her visit to Hunsford, and she was glad of it now. She was in her night-rail and in bed a short time later.

  After the events of the day, she should have found sleep came easily, but her thoughts were preoccupied. Mostly, they centered on Darcy. Knowing what she knew of him now, it was difficult to hold him in the same disdainful light as she had even just yesterday. Wickham was a wicked man, and if that had been her sole objection to Mr. Darcy’s proposal, she would certainly be chastising herself for refusing it now.

  His antagonism of Jane, and his clear determination not to endorse any sort of union between Charles and Jane, were what kept her still angry and separated from him. Yet, she couldn’t help feeling regret that she couldn’t accept Darcy’s proposal in good conscience, though she had no reason to actually want to marry him.

  Did she?

  That was a question she refused to contemplate for long. It would not do to fall in love with someone like Mr. Darcy, who loved her only through great reluctance and after trying to free himself from the burden. She would never be good enough for him, and her family would always be a detriment.

  She could concede they were not the most proper people, and they would surely affect Darcy’s standing. She wasn’t overly offended by that truth. It was how he had presented it, along with his actions, that made her reluctant to admit any sort of feelings for him beyond irritation.

  She dreamed of him.

  Chapter 3

  Her good intentions and plan to never accept Darcy’s proposal were washed away by a tide of gossip and scandal. Within days, it was revealed they had been seen together at an inn outside the port city where Charlotte and Richard had fled. The innkeeper had done a very good job of describing Lizzy, including a sketch, so her and Darcy’s pictures appeared side-by-side in the society section of the paper.

  The rumors had quickly made their way to Longbourn, where she had returned the day after trying to stop Charlotte’s hasty departure. She had not wished to remain for Mr. Collins to try to pump her for information.

  Maria had joined her, returning to her family, and Lizzy had stopped in long enough to tell Sir Lucas what she knew about Charlotte’s actions, though she did not reveal having actually caught up with Charlotte, or having any knowledge of where her friend was heading. Mr. Lucas had been devastated, as had Mrs. Lucas, and Lizzy had beat a hasty retreat. She suspected they would bear ill will toward her for not stopping Charlotte’s actions, but she hadn’t been able to do so. She couldn’t admit that she had tried, of course, but then the paper came out.

  Her father now stared at her sternly. “Explain this to me, Lizzy.” He had the paper spread before him, facing her across his desk, so she could clearly see her face beside a sketching of Mr. Darcy’s, along with the full article. Her stomach cramped with nausea.

  “Oh, what a disaster.” She slumped into the chair in front of her father’s desk. “I assure you, I am not compromised.”

  Mr. Bennet frowned. “But you are clearly compromised, sweet daughter.”

  She blushed as she looked away. “I meant I am not ruined. I am… chaste.”

  “Forgive me for doubting you, Lizzy, but if this article is correct, you and Mr. Darcy were alone in a room in an inn for two hours.”

  She snorted. “It was hardly more than forty-five minutes, Papa. All we did was eat, and that was so we could be discreet about me not having a chaperone.” As succinctly as possible, Lizzy explained the situation for her father, fully admitting everything she knew about Charlotte and Richard, though she did not tell him Charlotte’s ultimate destination of Jamaica either. That would be betraying her friends.

  Mr. Bennet seemed relieved. “In that case, it should all blow over.”

  “Blow over,” shouted Mrs. Bennet from outside the door. “This sort of scandal shall not blow over. Your daughter is ruined unless Mr. Darcy marries her.” Fanny burst into the room then, and she was grinning. “Oh, what a marvelous turn of events.”

  Lizzy glared at her mother. “Mama, what are you thinking? Me being ruined is hardly a momentous turn of events.”

  “Of course not, but now Mr. Darcy shall be forced ask for your hand. You shall have a wealthy husband who will look after you. Perhaps you can even facilitate your sisters finding worthy men.”

  “Mama, I assure you Mr. Darcy shall not ask for my hand, and I would not accept it if he did. We were trying to be discreet to stop Charlotte’s actions. There was no romance, and certainly no intended elopement. Mr. Darcy is as indifferent toward me as I am toward him.” She could hardly say that with a straight face, recalling how he had professed his painful love for her. It still made her tense with anger. She hardly expected him to rejoice in loving someone of her station, but that it pained him, and he had fought against it, still irked her.

  “Do not be ridiculous, Elizabeth,” said Fanny. “If Mr. Darcy comes to ask for your hand, you will accept. It is the only way to preserve the family name. Do you wish to see your other sisters ruined? They will undoubtedly be so if you are so selfish as to refuse a proposal.”

  Lizzy couldn’t argue with that. Not that she didn’t want to, but she couldn’t think of a logical response at the moment. A heavy weight settled on her, and she found herself clinging to the hope that Mr. Darcy would not propose. Yet that sent an unsettled feeling through her as well. Could she perhaps desire secretly for him to propose again? She did not know.

  “Mr. Bennet, it is incumbent upon you to call on Darcy at Pemberley and insist he ask for your daughter’s hand to mitigate the scandal.” Fanny patted her husband on the shoulder in an encouraging fashion. “If he refuses, you must challenge him to a duel.”

  “Have you gone mad, Mama?” Lizzy jumped her feet. “Papa would surely be killed, and I would find myself still unmarried, and we would be forced to depart Longbourn. Have some common sense. This will die down, and it is not as though I am exposed to society very often. I shall simply keep to my room for a while, and I shall not join Jane in London as planned.”

  “You are a foolish girl if you believe a little time will stop the tongues wagging on such a juicy scandal, Elizabeth.” Fanny turned away from her, clearly writing off Lizzy’s input in the matter. “You simply must insist he do the right thing.”

  “Perhaps I will send him a missive, but I am not going all the way to Pemberley to challenge the man to a duel when he was simply trying to look out for his cousin as Lizzy was looking out for her friend.”

  “Your reason is so maddening, Mr. Bennet. Others will not see it as you do.”

  “Who cares what others see?” asked Lizzy.

  With a cry of frustration, Fanny left them, storming from the room and slamming the door behind her.


  Mr. Bennet rubbed his ear for a moment before leaning back in his chair. “It is nice to have the sanctuary of my library again. I shall handle this situation as it arises, but for now, I agree with your suggestion that we simply remain discreet about it. Surely, it will blow over.”

  Lizzy wasn’t entirely confident it would, but she nodded her agreement as she got up to leave her father to his quiet solitude in the library. She closed the door behind her far more gently than her mother before exiting the house and starting to walk. As always, traversing the park of Longbourn did much to soothe her frazzled nerves, and she had calm restored by the time she returned to Longbourn later in the afternoon.

  Surely, this would all blow over.

  “It is all your fault,” said Kitty with a cry of anger as she and Lydia stomped into the house three days later.

  Lizzy looked up from her needlepoint, realizing the words were directed toward her. “I am sorry, what?”

  “This disaster is all your fault. None of the ladies in Meryton would receive us, save Aunt Phillips. We have been tainted by your scandal. Even the officers weren’t quite as friendly.”

  Lydia giggled. “Mr. Wickham seemed as charming as ever.”

  Lizzy stiffened. “You must stay away from that man.”

  Lydia laughed as she flipped her hair. “Oh, dear Lizzy, do not be jealous. He never had any serious affection for you, as his engagement to Miss King should have told you.”

  Lizzy was torn, not wanting to betray Georgiana’s confidence, but not able to leave Lydia at his mercy either. “He is a disreputable scoundrel. That he is flirting with you while he is engaged to Miss King is—”