Fiends and Familiars

by Dunbar, Debra

  Cassie picked up the stack of papers, tapped them to even the edges, then handed them out to Ty. “I have no idea what the lifespan of a resurrected squirrel is. Either way, you’ll just need to wait until he dies again. And I suggest this time you don’t allow him to escape and resurrect himself if you intend to keep him in hell.”

  Ty turned an interesting shade of red, then snatched the papers from her hands. “Squirrels don’t live very long. In fact, some squirrels have very short life spans.”

  “Oh no you don’t.” I pushed past Lucien to get into Ty’s face. “You lay one finger on my squirrel, and you’ll be the one with a very short life span. You and your hellhounds stay away from him, if you know what’s good for you.”

  It was an empty threat fueled by anger and fear. I couldn’t kill a demon. I didn’t think anyone could kill a demon except maybe an angel or Satan or God. I couldn’t kill him. I couldn’t do anything to hurt him. And I honestly didn’t want to. Just being this close to him was doing weird things to my breathing, my heartbeat, my shaky legs.

  And from the expression in his face, he was battling the same very unwelcome emotions as I was.

  “He can’t stay in your house forever, Addy,” Ty warned. “And the moment he leaves, he’ll probably get flattened by a car, or attacked by a neighbor’s dog. Maybe he’ll eat poison, fall from a tree, or a giant eagle will swoop down and grab him from off your lawn.”

  I sucked in a breath. “Not if I can help it.” Then I turned and stomped away, shouting back as I flung open the office door. “And don’t call me Addy!”

  Slamming a door never felt so good, nor did stomping my way down the stairs. Drake half flew, half hopped beside me, hissing supportive comments. I managed to hold on to my anger all the way out to my truck, feeling it give way as I started my vehicle and pulled out to the road. Halfway home, the anger had completely faded away leaving me shaky and emotionally bruised. Damn it, I liked this guy. The first guy I’d met in forever that I was wildly attracted to. The first guy who I’d actually had truly mind-blowing sex with—both physically and in my dreams. The first guy I felt I might actually love, who might actually be the one, and he was a complete asshole.

  Why couldn’t I find a nice demon like my sisters had? Why? I whimpered something out loud, felt a sympathetic brush of Drake’s wing, and pulled over to the shoulder where I put my truck in park and put my head in my hands.

  And then I cried.

  Chapter 14

  Adrienne

  I really didn’t want to go to this party, but I knew Babylon would drag me out by my hair if I tried to cancel on her. Besides, I needed to get out of the house and get my mind off of everything.

  I’d taken Rhoid aside and told him about the meeting. He was elated that he’d been given a reprieve, but knew very well that Satan’s minions were going to be waiting for him to come out of the house so they could arrange for his “accidental” death. That was a problem. I didn’t exactly want to have the squirrel living inside my house for the rest of his life, and judging from his response, he didn’t care to be effectively imprisoned here either. Maybe I could build a little warded squirrel addition onto my house and enclose part of the yard? Rhoid could stay out there with his little buddies eating peanuts and hopping from cleverly created obstacle to obstacle.

  It didn’t sound fun to me, but this was all the squirrel’s choice. He could stay and be a self-imposed prisoner in my house. Or he could leave and take his chances. I had a feeling that, in spite of the terrors of hell, Rhoid was thinking about choosing option number two. But not tonight. Tonight he and his buddies were going to chill safely behind the wards of my house while I drowned my romantic sorrows in beer at a bonfire and corn maze.

  Rhoid was settled in on my couch, but I hadn’t expected his friends to disagree with the plan. It seems they were looking forward to all the goodies a corn maze had to offer, and they were upset that Drake would be coming with me while they weren’t.

  Finally I had to inform my vulture familiar that he couldn’t come. It was that or risk a temper-fueled squirrel destruction of my house. To console Drake and the squirrels about being left behind, I made sure several bowls of food were out, and put the television on. They were arguing which channel to watch and fighting over the remote when Babylon picked me up. With my luck I’d come home to find the remote destroyed and the television stuck on endless infomercials.

  I wasn’t going to let it ruin my night. I could always unplug the television and pick up a ten-dollar universal remote tomorrow morning if I had to. Tonight wasn’t going to be me worrying about my house or the animals, it was going to be about meeting new people, not thinking about a sexy demon who’d betrayed me, and trying to enjoy myself.

  Locking the door and setting the ward, I handed Babylon two of the dog food bowls, and grabbed another in one hand and the pumpkin bars I’d made for the party in the other. “Here. Help me put these bowls out on the lawn, will you?”

  “So you’re feeding all the neighborhood strays, are you?” She shook her head and placed one of the bowls by the garage.

  “Just these dogs that have been coming by.” I’d checked my wards repeatedly throughout the day but none of the hellhounds, including Yeth, had been by. It hurt. Yes, I’d commanded their physical bodies, then taken control of their minds, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t attached to the big, hairy drooling boys. The thought that they’d gone back to hell when my spell wore off and never seemed to have given me another thought hurt.

  And Yeth… I thought we’d become friends. I thought he’d side with me against Ty, or at least sneak out of hell to visit, to let me know that in spite of what had gone down, we were still good. I’d thought that if he didn’t care one bit about me, he might care about the frozen bits of liver I had bought just for him.

  I’d thought wrong. But still here I was, putting out food and hoping that maybe I could still be friends with these hellhounds. What an idiot. They were part of Ty’s pack. They’d probably been with him by his side for thousands of years. There was no way a few days of eating kibble and scraps in my front yard could compete with a very long and hellish bond.

  “Are you sure you should be feeding stray dogs, Addy?” Lonnie asked as she sat down one of the food bowls. “What if they have rabies? What if your neighbors shoot them? Or call the cops? We’re not living in Accident anymore. You have to do things by human rules out here, not witch rules.”

  She had a point. I wasn’t county Animal Control, but I did make my living dealing with animals. Given their somewhat alarming appearance, I was concerned that anyone else who saw them might shoot them on sight. Could a hellhound die? Be injured by bullets? Or poison? Be caught in an Animal Control cage? Maybe it was for the best that they stayed in hell. I couldn’t exactly have a dozen hellhounds chilling on my front yard and not end up with angry neighbors and probably a big fine from the HOA.

  But I missed them, and I missed Ty, so I left the bowls filled with food and headed to a party.

  Lonnie chatted about her day at work as she drove. I gave her an abridged version of what had gone down in Cassie’s office, careful not to mention Ty. She obviously realized that was a subject we were not going to discuss tonight, and instead told me about the people I’d meet at the party, including a guy she wanted to introduce me to.

  Derrick. Six foot one. Dark hair. Dark eyes. The chiseled jaw of a superhero. Owned his own business. Single after a breakup a few months back. I nodded along as she sang Derrick’s praises, trying not to think about a sexy demon who sprouted horns, breathed fire, and drove me to ecstasy with a forked tongue.

  We pulled into the farm, past the house and barn and a line of trucks and cars, to park next to a stock trailer. The setting sun had turned the sky a swirling mix of orange and gray as we walked through the mown hayfield to the bonfire.

  Lonnie introduced me to a few people on the way in, then we grabbed a beer and made the rounds. Within half an hour I was chatting away with a grou
p of guys about termite control while Lonnie was off helping with the food. Termite control probably wasn’t the most party-worthy topic, but Derrick had mentioned an issue that had cropped up on an inspection for a home he had an offer on, and suddenly we were all about baits, termiticides for barrier and soil treatment, and more organic methods.

  He was cute—really cute. If I wasn’t moping over a demon right now, I might have tried flirting a little.

  “You’re really a wildlife control person?” Ralph grinned at me. “Like those guys on TV who wrestle crocodiles and snakes? Not like the guys who just go around your house and spray poison?”

  I shuddered. “There’s no reason for that poison. Insects, rodents, birds, you name it—they can all be removed from a home without subjecting them, yourselves, your family, or your pets to harmful substances.”

  That was the line I gave when someone wanted me to throw down bait for mice. Clients were often skeptical, but I got results. Of course, I got them with magic, but no one this side of Accident’s wards knew that.

  “So for rodents you use those humane traps?” Derrick was looking skeptical. “When you let them go, don’t they just head right back inside the house? And how does that work for termites?”

  “I do use humane traps when I need to, and I make sure to relocate the animals as far away from homes as possible. As for insects, I have a method where they will move their activity to a suitable place. For termites, that’s usually a rotted tree trunk that I put up for them.”

  Ralph snorted. “And when they’re done with that, they go right back to the house and you get to collect another fee.”

  “No, they won’t ever return to your house.” I held up my hand. “Money back guarantee.”

  “How do you do that?” Derrick asked.

  “Magic.” I winked and they laughed. “It’s a trade secret. If I let everyone know, all my competitors would be taking my clients away.”

  None of my competitors could do what I did, but Ralph and Derrick didn’t need to know that.

  “I’ll see if the sellers will agree to hire you,” Derrick vowed. “And if they don’t, I’ll have you come in after closing to make sure they actually got rid of the little buggers.”

  Great. It was always nice to pick up new work, but I’d come here to make friends, and I wasn’t sure if getting rid of termites in Derrick’s real estate properties was a path to friendship. Lonnie was right, though. He was a good-looking guy. Awesome smile. Nice. Cute butt.

  And there was zero spark between us, darn it.

  I left him and Ralph and weaved through the crowd, grabbing another beer from the cooler and trying to decide how to insert myself into a conversatsion at a party where everyone seemed to know everyone besides me.

  “You’re Lonnie’s friend?” a woman asked. She had a long blonde ponytail and was wearing an incredibly tight tank top with jean shorts and bright purple sneakers.

  “Her sister, Adrienne.” I smiled at the woman. “You’re…?”

  “Rita. I know Lonnie from the gym.”

  I nodded, wondering if I should join the gym. “I just moved here from Accident. Lonnie’s been nice enough to take me around and introduce me to some of her friends.”

  “Accident?” Rita wrinkled her pert nose. “That’s the little town in the valley about twenty miles east, isn’t it? I think we went there once a few years ago, but I can’t really remember.”

  That would be because of the wards. Humans who came into Accident forgot about all they’d seen once they left. It kept our supernatural citizens safe from discovery. Trusted humans who’d decided to make their home with us had charms that kept their memories intact. If they ever moved, they were sworn to secrecy. Nobody wanted to get on the bad side of a town full of witches, shifters, fae, and vampires, so humans took those oaths seriously. Plus after living with us for years, or even decades, they were friends and wouldn’t betray us.

  But Rita and her buddies? They would have had a good time, perhaps a little freaked out by the “costumes” or other unusual sights, then gone home to have blurred memories of a good time—not too good a time, though.

  “Yeah, it’s where I grew up.” Nostalgia hit me hard. “It was just too far to commute for my job, so I moved.”

  “What do you do?”

  “Pest and wildlife control.” I waited for the “ewww” expression and was surprised to see Rita purse her lips in thought.

  “That’s cool. I love it when I meet women who have jobs that have usually been thought of as careers for men. Do you really wrestle snakes?”

  I laughed. “They don’t require wrestling. They’re very nice, actually. Very cooperative. We have a pleasant chat, then I carry them out to my truck and relocate them to a place where someone isn’t going to try to whack their head off with the sharp edge of a shovel.”

  “You’re a better woman than I am.” She tapped my beer with her own. “Are you staying for the zombie chase through the corn maze? It’s right after we eat. I told Ralph that was a bad idea. People are going to be puking out in the cornfield, running around after eating like that.”

  “Zombie chase? Through a cornfield maze?” Wow, that sounded like fun.

  Rita nodded. “It’ll be pitch dark by then, so super fun and scary. About ten of us are designated as zombies, but you won’t know who until you get out there. You’ll get flags to stick in your waistband. Anyone who makes it to the end of the maze with their flag, gets a prize.”

  “And the zombies are wearing costumes?” I asked.

  “Hell yeah. We’ve got a few masks and some old Halloween getups that our zombies are going to throw on to make it fun.” She giggled. “I hope Derrick is one of the zombies. I wouldn’t mind it if he tackled me and grabbed my…flag.”

  I laughed. “Maybe you should take charge and be the one pursuing a zombie instead.”

  “I might just do that.” Her gaze drifted over to the man in question, then back to me. “You’re not interested, are you? I don’t want to step on your toes if you’re working that.”

  I was so not working that. Aside from a possible business contact, that is.

  “Nope. I’m getting out of a very brief relationship and am just looking for friends right now.”

  She clinked her beer bottle against mine again. “Then count me in. And to commemorate our new friendship, let me introduce you to the Jell-O shot table.”

  Rita and I did a few rounds of Jell-O shots, decided we were going to start taking Crossfit classes together starting a week from Monday, and made plans to meet for coffee Sunday morning. We were just selecting a third round of shots when someone whistled and announced that they were about to start the zombie run through the corn maze. Rita and I staggered over, met Lonnie at the table where two women were distributing flags, and helped each other tuck the scraps of fabric into our waistbands, all the while giggling about whether we should tie them to our underwear or not.

  Sure. Why not? It wouldn’t really be cheating, especially since we’d be running the risk of a massive wedgie.

  We got in line, Rita in front of me and Lonnie behind me. Ralph came by and gave us a full beer for liquid courage, and we inched our way to the entrance of the corn maze. We each got a ten second head start. I was number six in line and by the time Rita took off, I was already hearing the screams and shrieks from the corn maze. I grinned, bouncing on my feet with excitement.

  “No cell phone, right?” Derrick asked as I stepped up to the entrance of the maze.

  “Nope.” There was a full moon peeking from scattered clouds, and outside the corn maze the farm was lit up in shades of gray. It was dark enough to make everything more than five feet away a shapeless blur, but light enough that you wouldn’t accidently run into the side of the barn. I expected it would be a bit darker in the corn maze, which would add to the spookiness of the game.

  And once the moon went behind the clouds, we’d all be stumbling around in the dark.

  “Go!”

  On De
rrick’s command I took off running. The path split three ways fifty feet in. Going on instinct, I went left. That’s when I discovered that I’d been horribly wrong about the amount of light in this corn maze.

  It was dark. It was insanely dark.

  The corn had been planted eighteen inches apart, but the dried leaves hindered the moonlight from reaching down through the rows. I turned right, then left, then right again, trying to ensure that my general direction would be straight through the maze. But was the exit on the opposite side from the entrance? Maybe it wasn’t after all.

  It wasn’t only the location of the exit that was a mystery, it was my actual location as well. Surrounded by tall corn and unable to see more than a foot in front of me, I had no idea which direction I was headed. Paths curved, forked, made what seemed to be broad circles. I hadn’t seen a soul from the moment I’d entered the maze, and their shouts and screams seemed oddly distant.

  How big was this fucking cornfield? And where the hell was I? I shivered at the thought that I might be wandering around here all night. Hopefully Lonnie would sober up enough to realize I was missing and send a search party after me with flashlights.

  Trying to sober up myself, I slowed down and took note of how many turns I was making. I looked up, but the moon was nowhere to be seen, and all this damned corn looked the same.

  Shit. I was completely lost. Worse, people who’d come before me had trampled some of the corn and I could no longer tell which was the narrow path and which was just the space between rows. To my left the dried corn rustled and goosebumps broke out on my skin.

  Like a rabbit, I froze. If I held still, maybe the zombie wouldn’t know I was here and would move on to some other screaming partygoer. Then I’d run. And hopefully I’d make it out of this maze by sunup, with my flag still attached to my waistband.