Shut Out

by Kody Keplinger

  “Maybe we should—” Susan began.

  “No,” I said quickly. “No, no, no. This is just their way of messing with us. They get half-naked and wet and think that’ll be enough to make us give up the strike. Well, it won’t work.”

  “You sure about that?” Chloe asked, cocking her head to the side and clearly ogling Shane, who’d just cannonballed into the pool. “You have to admit these boys are pretty fine, Lissa. This was a good move…. I think I want to go swimming.”

  “Yeah,” a few other girls said. “Me, too.”

  “It doesn’t mean anything has to happen.”

  “We don’t have to do anything—just swim. We weren’t doing anything fun in here anyway, right?”

  “No!” I cried again. Quickly, I began shoving the girls away from the window. Violent protests met my efforts, but I pushed them anyway. “We go down there, and they make another move,” I said. “This is war, and that’s a trap.” A good one, I added mentally, focusing all of my energy on not turning to look out the window again to stare at Cash.

  “I know you all want to go down there,” I said. “But the rivalry isn’t over. The boys will just use this to coerce us into breaking our oath. You don’t want that, do you?”

  But no one answered; they all just kept gazing outside.

  Mary gave me a look and hurried to the opposite end of the window to help. For a tiny girl, she could put up a fight. Together we managed to shove all the frustrated girls back, and then Mary immediately closed the blinds.

  The girls grumbled and went back to their original seats on Kelsey’s bed and floor. Outside, the sounds of the boys calling us back, imploring us to come down and join them, could still be heard.

  “This is such a farce,” I muttered to Mary. I felt like I was in the middle of a scene from a teen comedy. I was half expecting an epic action montage of boys trying to get our attention, set to Blondie’s “One Way or Another,” to follow this ridiculous moment in my life.

  “Hey,” Kelsey said, tapping me on the shoulder and whispering into my ear so the others didn’t hear, “I’m going downstairs to make the guys leave before my parents come home and flip their shit.”

  “Oh, no, you don’t,” I said quickly. “Don’t think—”

  “Lissa,” she said, shaking her head. “Believe me, you don’t have to worry about me being tempted.”

  I frowned at her, but I knew she was right. If there was anyone I could trust here, it was Kelsey. Now, that was a crazy thought, but it was true. She’d admitted to me that she didn’t really enjoy sex, so why would she be tempted to break the oath? I nodded and she edged out the door quietly while I got the others’ attention.

  “Okay, all of you, listen,” I said. “The boys are getting organized now. You saw that. They’re fighting back because they want sex. The rivalry isn’t over, but they want the strike to end. Things are about to get harder for us.”

  Mary giggled at me. “You sound like an army commander.”

  “You should see her play hide-and-seek,” Ellen joked.

  “Focus,” I snapped. God, I really did sound like I was in the military. But it was necessary now, wasn’t it? By making himself the leader of the boys’ side, Cash had pretty much turned this into a war. If the boys had tactics, we needed ways to combat them.

  “So what do we do?” Ellen asked.

  “We’ve got to turn the tables,” I answered. “Fight fire with fire. They want to get half-naked and seduce us? I say we do the same. Push them a little, make them want us. They’re guys. They’ll crack before we do.”

  “I thought we weren’t going to be teases,” Chloe said. “That’s what you said at the first meeting.”

  “That was before the boys decided to make this a fight. They gave us no choice,” I argued. “I’m not suggesting anything extreme—just wearing shirts that are a little lower-cut than normal, or showing a little leg. That’s all it will take.”

  “That actually sounds kind of fun,” Ellen said, grinning. “I have a new dress I’ve been dying for an excuse to wear. Maybe my date tomorrow night is just the occasion.”

  A few other girls smiled and whooped in agreement, planning out their methods of temptation.

  After the chatter died down, Susan sighed and glanced at the closed blinds over the window. “I just feel so… dirty. Like, I don’t know. Right now, I feel like such a perv.”

  “Me, too,” Ellen said. “God, I never thought I’d miss fooling around this much. It’s so embarrassing.”

  “Why?” Chloe asked. “Because the boys got you all hot and bothered?”

  Ellen shrugged, not looking at her.

  Chloe sighed. “Okay, I don’t get you guys. Maybe I’m, like, a bad example of the female race or something, but what is so wrong with thinking about sex? So the fuck what? Guys do it.”

  “That’s because they’re guys,” Ellen said. “It’s normal for them.”

  “So if it’s okay for them, why do girls have to feel dirty when they think about it?” Chloe demanded. She looked over at me for help, but all I could do was shrug. Clearly, I was just as much in the dark as the others. Only Chloe seemed to know what she was doing here.

  “Look. This is stupid,” she said. “We live in a supposedly equal society, so what’s the big deal? I’m not ashamed to think about sex. Or talk about it. Or have it.”

  “Yeah, and look at the way people talk about you.” Kelsey was standing in the doorway of her bedroom, arms crossed over her chest. I hadn’t even heard her come back upstairs.

  “I’m not sorry for who I am,” Chloe said flatly.

  Kelsey’s arms dropped to her sides, and she stepped into the room. “Then you’re lucky, because not all of us can say that.”

  We locked eyes for a second before she looked at the other girls.

  “I don’t like sex,” Kelsey said, shrugging. “I used to think that made me weird. Or that if I told anyone, they’d make fun of me or call me a lesbian or something. I’m not; I just don’t enjoy it. But if we’re being all open and honest… Chloe’s comfortable with who she is, and Mary and Lissa came clean, so it’s my turn.”

  Chloe stared at Kelsey in awe. I wondered if she was in shock, hearing from someone who didn’t enjoy sex. But she said, “Did you just kind of give me a compliment?”

  “Don’t get used to it.”

  “I refuse to go down on Luther,” Susan said. Everyone turned to look at her, but she just tossed her dark braids over one shoulder. “What? Something about it just freaks me out. There are some places mouths just aren’t meant to go, you know?”

  “That’s the only thing I’ll do with my boyfriend,” someone said from the back of the room. “To me, that’s less scary than going all the way.”

  I smiled to myself. Mary and I weren’t the only virgins in the room—and I hadn’t been the only one keeping my lack of experience quiet. It made me feel better, knowing I wasn’t alone, but realizing this also made me kind of sad. Why had I been afraid to admit I was a virgin? Why was anyone?

  “So, like, do you hate sex with everyone, or just with Terry?” Chloe asked Kelsey.

  “I don’t hate it. I just don’t really enjoy it.”

  “Okay, but that didn’t answer my question. Is it bad with everyone, or just Terry?”

  Kelsey shifted uneasily. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I’ve only ever been with Terry, so…”

  “So he probably just sucks in bed.”

  “Chloe,” I chided. “Be nice.”

  “What?” she asked. “A lot of teenage boys suck. Believe me, I know. But Kelsey should be thrilled. This means there’s hope for her yet.”

  “Unless I stay with Terry,” Kelsey replied pointedly.

  Chloe scoffed. “Please. High school sweethearts don’t last forever—and if they do, they end up miserable and start having affairs early. Ask my dad.”

  “Hey, Kelsey, do you fake it?” Ellen said, changing the subject. Thank God. “Like… orgasms?”

 
Kelsey turned even redder. “Yes. Why?”

  “Because I have a few times, too,” Ellen admitted. “Not always, but Adam gets defensive if he thinks I’m not enjoying it, so… But anyway, I don’t think it’s that uncommon, actually. I learned how to fake it because of that Meg Ryan scene in When Harry Met Sally.”

  “When Harry met who?”

  “It’s an old eighties movie,” Ellen said, shrugging. “I saw it on VH1.”

  “I can honestly say I have never faked it,” Chloe said, grinning. “Of course, I’m a bitch, so if I can’t get off, I just let the guy know how lame he is.”

  “And that,” Susan chirped, “is why Rod Copland went from a stud to a cracked-out emo kid. Chloe salted his game.”

  “Hey, honesty’s the best policy,” Chloe said.

  Susan looked a little embarrassed. “Yeah… honesty. I kind of suck at that. I told Luther he was my first even though I hooked up with a guy in my brother’s frat last year, before we started dating.”

  “So he thought you were a virgin?” I asked.

  Susan nodded, looking a little ashamed.

  “Couldn’t he, like, tell, though?” Kelsey asked.

  “Not really,” Susan said sheepishly. “It was his first time, so he didn’t exactly know what he was looking for… if you know what I mean.”

  “But why would you lie?” Mary asked.

  “I didn’t want him to be embarrassed. Like, I didn’t want him to feel bad because I’d done it and he hadn’t. Besides, would you be very proud of hooking up with a skeezy frat boy at a costume party?”

  “Depends,” Chloe said. “If he had a cool costume—”

  “He was dressed as SpongeBob,” Susan admitted.

  “Ugh. Okay, yeah. I’d lie, too.”

  The chatter bubbled over as everyone began swapping experiences and theories and philosophies concerning sex. I was so fascinated by everyone’s different takes on the subject that I forgot to be embarrassed. Maybe if we’d discussed this sooner, I wouldn’t have been so afraid to admit I was a virgin. Maybe the others wouldn’t have given Mary such a hard time about it at our first meeting.

  I turned and locked eyes with Mary. She was smiling at me, and I knew she was thinking the same thing. She wasn’t weird at all. None of us were.

  “It’s so screwed up, the standards,” Kelsey said abruptly, tossing a pillow toward the ground. “You should like it, but you shouldn’t like it too much or talk about how much you like it. You should do it, but you shouldn’t do it with too many people or talk about how much you’re doing it. It’s like there are so many rules, but none of them make sense.”

  “Then maybe we should make up our own rules?” Mary suggested nervously. “Like… change the game, you know?”

  “I think that’s what we’re doing now,” Chloe said. “Just by having this conversation. The other rules can go screw themselves.”

  “Wow, Chloe,” Ellen said. “That is so deep.”

  “I know, right? I should be a freaking philosopher or something.”

  I stretched out on my stomach, elbows pressed into the carpet and chin resting in my hands. “I like it. The rules can go screw themselves. It ought to be our group motto.”

  “Oh my God.” Mary giggled. “We need T-shirts.”

  As the room erupted into chatter again, I realized just how happy I was that I’d started the strike. Sure, it had started because of the sports feud, but now it was about so much more. It was about independence and confidence and breaking free of stereotypes and labels. Now, win or lose, I had these girls—these friends—who’d proven to me that there was no such thing as normal, and that I had nothing to be ashamed of. Even if the boys won, I’d gotten something out of this strike. Something important.

  Not that the boys had a chance in hell of winning. I was personally going to make sure that didn’t happen.

  chapter twenty-­three

  “Nice job leading the girls the other night.”

  I was crouched down on the floor of the Reference section, alphabetizing the encyclopedias, when I heard Cash’s voice behind me. Startled, I jumped and smacked the top of my head against the shelf with a loud thwack.

  “Augh,” I groaned.

  “Oh, shit. Lissa, are you okay?” He knelt down and turned me to face him, his eyebrows pinched over concerned green eyes that made me forget the throbbing pain in my skull—but only for a second. “Do you need me to get an ice pack or something?”

  “No, it’s fine, but you have got to stop sneaking up on me,” I said through clenched teeth. “God, that hurt.”

  “I’m so sorry,” Cash said. Before I could stop him, he’d reached out and cupped a hand over the back of my head, his fingers gently stroking the place where my skull had collided with the wooden shelf. “That was an accident.”

  Sure it was, I wanted to snap. But of course what came out of my mouth was completely different. “It’s all right.” I cleared my throat. “Did you need something, Cash?”

  He let out a small chuckle. “Not really. It doesn’t matter.”

  “Glad to know my pain is in vain.”

  “Well, at least you’re a poet. That’s some consolation.”

  I rolled my eyes at him and he grinned. “So,” he said, still stroking my head in gentle, soothing motions, “how was your weekend?”

  “It was all right—until a bunch of idiot boys decided to crash the slumber party I was attending.”

  “Damn, what a shame,” Cash said innocently.

  “Uh-huh… How was yours?”

  “Pretty good… except for the part where I got kicked off Kelsey’s lawn. Speaking of which, does she really have a Rottweiler trained to attack on command?”

  I couldn’t help but smile at that. Kelsey did have a Rottweiler—Gidget—but from what I’d witnessed at her house on Saturday, Gidget was a lazy, fat dog who barely left her spot on the living room floor, let alone attacked people.

  “Yes,” I said. “Yes, she does.”

  “Scary.”

  “Yeah.”

  There was a short pause, and then he said, “Seriously, though. How have you been? I haven’t really asked you since we went for that walk last weekend because I didn’t want to upset you or anything, but… How are you? With the whole Randy thing, I mean.”

  “Oh.” I let out a long breath. “I’m okay. I’ve just been avoiding him.”

  “I hear he wants you back.”

  “He’ll have to get over it.”

  Cash smiled. “I take it you’re not so interested in rekindling the romance.”

  “Definitely not,” I said. “Don’t get me wrong—I miss him sometimes, the good things about him, anyway, but not enough to get back together with him. I can’t trust him anymore.”

  “Well, I’m glad,” Cash said. Then he quickly added, “Not that you can’t trust him. I’m sorry about that. I’m just… I’m glad you’re not getting back with him.”

  “Why?” I asked slowly, remembering the awkwardness at the lunch table last week when I’d stormed away, how he’d said he’d only consider dating someone special. Before then, I’d dared to hope that his support, his encouragement for me to stay away from Randy, had been a little selfish on his part. That maybe he liked me. That sour moment at the lunch table had squashed that hope, but maybe…

  “Because.” Cash’s fingers stilled, resting lightly against the back of my head, which didn’t hurt anymore. He looked down at me for a long second before continuing. “Because I want to see you with someone better than him. Someone who will see how lucky they are to have you.”

  I bit my lip, nervous but determined to ask my next question. “Do you happen to have someone particular in mind, Cash?”

  “Maybe.”

  We stared at each other for a long, long time. Then Cash’s hand slid down from my head to the back of my neck, and he gently pulled me toward him. It was like a slow-motion scene in a movie. I had plenty of time to turn my head, to jerk away, to say “Stop,” but I didn’t m
ove, didn’t speak, didn’t breathe. Instead, I watched his head lower toward mine and felt his free hand fall onto my knee. My eyes shut, and I managed a quick, anxious gasp of air.

  And then Cash Sterling kissed me.

  My heart raced as Cash’s lips moved over mine. I opened my mouth to his as my arms wrapped around his neck. His hand slid up my thigh and came to rest on my hip. I felt his finger curl into the belt loop of my jeans, tugging me a little closer to him. I moved forward willingly, eagerly, needing to be next to him, to touch him.

  My body was riddled with electric shocks as his kisses grew more intense. My fingers grasped at his short brown hair, pulling him to me. I’d never felt like this, like I wanted to climb into another person’s skin. Like I wanted every inch of him to touch every inch of me, to twine myself around him and never let go. I’d never kissed anyone this way.

  Not even Randy.

  I was elated. He’d kissed me. Again. He did still like me. He must have realized what a mistake he’d made by never calling me.

  My skin was on fire as we pressed closer to each other. I found myself climbing into Cash’s lap, straddling his hips as his hands slid to the small of my back, pulling me toward him.

  “Oh my God, are you kidding me?”

  Cash’s mouth jerked away from mine as Jenna’s voice ripped through the heated silence. It took me a minute to catch my breath, but I could already feel my cheeks burning, realizing the delicate position I’d gotten myself into. I scurried out of Cash’s lap, straightening my slightly twisted T-shirt and running my fingers through my hair.

  “Nice, Lissa,” she snapped when I tentatively looked up at her. “Didn’t I warn you about this?”

  “I’ll get back to work,” I said, stumbling to my feet. Cash did the same.

  “Yes, please do,” Jenna said. “There’s a little girl here who needs help using the card catalog. Why don’t you do that and let Cash finish with the encyclopedias. Perhaps you two shouldn’t work together from now on, if you’ll be distracting each other.”

  “M-maybe,” I stammered. “I’ll go help with the, um, catalog.”