Granny on Board

by Harper Lin

  Things took a downturn at dinner. The maître d’ took a look at our names and said, “Your group has already arrived. Let me show you to your table.”

  Somewhat confused, we followed.

  He took us straight to a table with Georgina and her gang.

  Georgina stood and waggled a wine glass over her head as we approached.

  “Yoo-hoo! Over here. So glad you could make it. Now the B Deck, Hall 5 gang is all here!”

  “Quite the coincidence that we ended up at the same table,” Octavian said, his tone showing he didn’t think it was a coincidence at all.

  “We looked you up and arranged for you to sit with us for the whole trip. Isn’t that nice?” Georgina said.

  We sat. I decided to make the best of tonight and fix the situation later.

  One of the women filled our wine glasses from a nearly empty bottle. Two other empty bottles stood next to it. A waiter swooped in and delivered another.

  The whole table started chattering, and I finally learned everyone’s names. There were five women in Georgina’s coterie, all recently retired. Charlotte was a retired schoolteacher and an organist at her church. Brenda was a homemaker, as was Alicia. Fiona had worked as an emergency-room nurse, a job that had stressed her out so much she didn’t want to talk about it. Lauren had worked as a bookkeeper and was the youngest of the group. The cruise was in celebration of her recent retirement.

  “A bookie?” Octavian joked. “Some of my best friends are bookies.”

  “Oh, a gambling man,” Lauren said. “You know I—”

  Georgina cut her off. “Lauren once won a thousand dollars in Vegas. We go there sometimes.”

  “Do you?” Octavian asked while still looking at Lauren, a polite way of keeping her in a conversation from which she had just been ejected.

  But Georgina proved unstoppable.

  “Oh, sure,” she said, refilling Octavian’s wine glass even though he hadn’t finished it. “We didn’t go so much when we were still burdened with jobs and husbands. Now that Lauren has retired, we’re all free at last,” Georgina said. She had been cutting into all the conversations, and I actually learned more about the other five women from her than from the women themselves.

  “It was such a good idea to do this cruise,” Lauren said to Georgina. “Thank you so much for coming up with it and organizing everything.”

  “We girls have to stick together,” Georgina said then focused on Octavian and me, leaning forward a little. “So, what’s the story with you two lovebirds? Recently married?”

  Octavian actually blushed at that. I probably did too.

  “No. We’ve been dating for a few months now, and Octavian surprised me with a cruise.”

  “As long as he doesn’t use it as an excuse to pop the question,” Georgina said, waggling a finger at me. “Marriage is always a bad idea. It’s better to stay free.”

  The temperature on our side of the table plunged several degrees. That’s not the sort of thing you should say to two widows.

  Georgina seemed oblivious to our reaction. She launched into a long, rambling story about how she divorced her husband fifteen years ago, took him for all he had, and never looked back. I gathered from the pained expressions of a couple of her crowd that not everyone agreed that marriage was a bad institution, not that any of them spoke up. I didn’t either. It was impossible to get a word in edgewise with someone as in love with the sound of her own voice as Georgina. Besides, I was busy thinking up exit strategies.

  Easier said than done. We had barely finished the appetizer, and the main course was slow in coming. More wine appeared. We couldn’t take a sip without more being poured into our glasses. Combined with the cocktails we had earlier, I was getting a bit woozy. And that wasn’t the worst of it. Octavian and I had to endure endless gossip about various people we didn’t know. Georgina was the main perpetrator, although her little band piped up as much as they could, looking for approval.

  Surprisingly, no one mentioned Maggie, the woman they had a fight with on deck. I figured she would be the main target of their spite.

  At last we got through dessert, and Octavian leaped up with an excuse on his lips about how we had to check on something.

  “But we were going to order shots,” Georgina said. “I’ve heard they have a lemon liqueur to die for. It’s from Italy.”

  “Ah yes, limoncello,” he said, pronouncing it perfectly. “I used to order it in Tuscany.”

  “Then you’ll want to stay.”

  “No, we really must go,” Octavian said. “We’ll have to talk about Tuscany sometime. The people there have so much culture.”

  Did I hear the faintest stress on the word “culture”? Georgina obviously did not. She put on a pouty face and said, “Oh, all right. We’ll let you go this time, but don’t you dare pop the question.”

  “What an insufferable gaggle of poisonous geese,” Octavian grumbled as soon as we were out of earshot.

  “I didn’t know geese could be poisonous, but I agree,” I replied.

  “How about you commit a few murders instead of solving them?”

  “Tempted.”

  “Shall we go up on deck to get some fresh air?”

  “I think we both need it.”

  The sun had already set, and we stepped out into a dark night under a canopy of brilliant stars. A few others were out admiring the night, too, although not as many as one would think. The thudding of classic rock from the direction of the disco told us that some people were trying to relive their youth, and I was sure the casino was doing good business as well.

  I preferred it out here, arm in arm with a dapper gentleman, far away from the noise and gossip of the seniors’ cruise.

  We fell into a companionable silence, strolling along in the subdued light of the deck, admiring the stars and listening to the low thrum of the engine and the water splashing against the prow.

  I turned to kiss Octavian and found him already moving in.

  We had another kiss on the lips, enjoyed all the more for the lack of an audience.

  There was a scream from farther away on deck, followed by a splash. Then came another couple of screams.

  Octavian rolled his eyes. “You’ve done it again.”

  “Someone’s fallen overboard!” a male voice shouted.

  “More likely pushed, knowing you,” Octavian grumbled. We were already running for the source of the sound. Well, more of a brisk walk. Running was not my forte anymore, and it wasn’t Octavian’s either.

  The sounds led us to the prow, where a small crowd stood peering over the edge. Someone was shouting into a red emergency phone. There were several all along the deck in case of an accident.

  “And now she’s in the water! Stop the boat!”

  “What happened?” I asked.

  A woman at the railing turned to me. “Someone was standing on the prow, doing a Titanic imitation. You know, with her arms up in the air and facing the wind. Then she fell in.”

  I glanced at the prow. The chain that sealed it off had been unhooked. The warning sign that hung from it now lay on the deck.

  “How did she fall in?” I asked, peering over the side and not seeing any sign of the victim.

  “I don’t know. We just passed by and saw her. As we went around the corner, we heard her scream. Then we came back, and she was gone.”

  “She must have killed herself,” one of the men said.

  Maybe. But if someone was determined to kill herself, she probably wouldn’t scream on the way down.

  Some sailors and a couple of waiters came rushing out, and the whole conversation was repeated. A minute later, floodlights lit up the entire exterior. Several people on deck complained it was ruining their view but shut up quickly as the news spread. Contrary to popular belief, there is a limit to what a senior citizen will complain about.

  I stayed put by the prow, listening in as a manager asked the group about the woman who had fallen in.

  “Did she say anyt
hing to you?” the manager asked.

  “Nothing. I don’t think she even saw us. She was facing out to sea with her arms upraised.”

  “Inside or outside the railing?”

  “Inside. I didn’t think she was going to jump.”

  “What did she look like?”

  “Very tall. Bulky too. Big woman. She was wearing a denim dress.”

  Octavian and I glanced at each other. Maggie, the woman who had been arguing with Georgina and her crew. I couldn’t imagine anyone else would fit that description.

  The boat engine went into reverse and brought the boat to a stop, then cut off entirely. Searchlights scanned the surrounding water. A couple of lifeboats crewed by sailors were lowered. By now a large crowd stood on deck, trading the news and looking down into the water. A couple of unhelpful people pointed to every shadow caused by a wave and shouted, “There she is! There she is!”

  “What do you think?” Octavian asked in a low voice.

  “I’m thinking what you’re thinking. Maggie might not have jumped. She might have been pushed.”

  We tried to go to the tip of the prow, where she had stood, but a sailor had already replaced the chain and was standing guard. Another sailor stood at the prow where Maggie had been standing, gripping the railing and looking down, as if she would still be there, hanging on to the bulkhead or something. Several people milled around. If there had been any evidence at the scene, it was long gone now.

  Directly opposite the prow stood the very front of the ship’s superstructure. The first floor was only twenty or so yards from the tip of the prow. Above this first floor, the upper levels stepped back, becoming smaller with each level until they ended in a high radio and radar tower. On the deck level, there was a glassed-in viewing deck for people who wanted to see the sea while remaining out of the elements. All lights were blazing inside, and at least a dozen people stood in there, yammering about the accident.

  I thought for a moment.

  “Were these lights on when we heard the splash?” I asked Octavian.

  “Not all of them. Remember how they only had a couple of dim lights burning in the outer rooms so it would be dark on deck? I guess they did that so we could admire the stars.”

  “So this room was fairly dark and full of shadows—” I said.

  Octavian finished. “And the murderer could have gone out that door directly behind the prow, snuck up on Maggie, and pushed her in …”

  “The murderer could have been waiting for the right moment,” I went on. “Looking out these windows, he or she would have seen the group of people pass by. They were probably talking and looking at the stars and wouldn’t have noticed someone standing still in the shadows. As soon as they disappeared around the corner, the murderer could have snuck up and pushed Maggie over the edge—”

  “And then made their escape back into here, through that door in the back wall, and then anywhere on the ship they wanted to go.”

  Octavian and I stared at each other for a moment.

  “We have another murder on our hands,” I said.

  “I should have known I’d never get a peaceful vacation with you along.”

  I grinned. Octavian shook his head ruefully and grinned back.

  “Let’s go check on Georgina and her friends.”

  Five

  We went down to the dining room and found them gone. I asked our waiter when they had left, and he shrugged his shoulders.

  “About half an hour ago, I suppose.”

  Not long after we left.

  “Did they say where they were going?” Octavian asked.

  “No, sir.”

  We went around the entire deck and saw no sign of them. That was a bit suspicious because it seemed like almost everyone was on deck, staring out at the unfolding drama in the sea. A couple of Coast Guard helicopters had arrived from shore and were circling around, adding their spotlights to those from the lifeboats and the ship itself.

  It was all necessary and according to procedure but unlikely to be successful. The deck was as high above the surface of the water as a four-story building. Falling from that height, the impact with the water was enough to knock most people out. Falling right at the prow, the body would likely be sucked under the ship. Even if Maggie had somehow survived that, it had been more than half an hour since she had fallen in. I doubted someone her age, having undergone such a shock, would be able to tread water for half an hour.

  But the Coast Guard weren’t the kind of people to give up. I knew a few of them in my time, when we did joint operations to intercept major drug shipments, and they were tenacious. They did not give up the search until well beyond the point where all hope was lost.

  Leaving the ship’s crew and the Coast Guard to their sad, hopeless task, we went back inside and searched the observation decks, the casino, the nightclub, and all three bars.

  Not a sign of them.

  “They’re hiding in their cabins,” Octavian said.

  “Possibly.”

  “They’re guilty as hell.”

  “Probably. At least one of them is.”

  “Probably more than one,” Octavian said. “Did you see how big Maggie was? I’m not sure Georgina or one of the others could have pushed her over, even with the element of surprise.”

  Awww, he said “element of surprise.” He was really getting into this sleuthing thing, wasn’t he?

  He also had a good point.

  “If they were planning a murder, why would they invite us to their table?” I asked.

  Octavian rubbed his chin. “I’m not sure. And they didn’t invite us. They actually forced us to sit at their table.”

  “Georgina did. Georgina runs the show with that crowd.”

  “So maybe Georgina didn’t do it. Maybe it was one or more of her flunkies.”

  “And now they’ve all disappeared,” I said, looking around the lounge where we sat, hoping we would be lucky enough for them to walk in. “They must have heard the news by now.”

  “They’re probably in one of their cabins talking about it, the guilty ones keeping up appearances.”

  We lapsed into silence. The murderers hadn’t had much time to go up and lie in wait for Maggie after we left. They must have left right after we did and known she was going up there at around that time. But how could they have known that? It didn’t seem like Maggie would have told them. They weren’t on speaking terms as far as I could see.

  If only we knew more about what that big blowup on deck had been about. Maggie had said something about Georgina and her crowd ruining her life and that they had deliberately come on this cruise to ruin her vacation. That implied they knew she was coming even though they weren’t on speaking terms. Odd.

  Maybe the rumor mill back home told them? But where was back home? And what relationship did these people have with Maggie? I knew virtually nothing about any of these people. I didn’t even know their last names.

  Perhaps I was making something out of nothing. I’d been surrounded by death so long, I’d come to suspect everyone and everything. Maybe Maggie really did jump. She said her life was ruined after all.

  But that didn’t sit well with me. It was too pat, too easy. If she wanted to jump, she would have reacted to the crowd coming into view, not just ignored them. She would have stepped back, acted casual, like people do when they’re caught about to do something that others would stop them from doing.

  And the witnesses said she was standing inside the railing. She hadn’t gotten onto the outside and stood there, gripping the railing, trying to summon up her courage like a jumper would.

  This was all too hypothetical. I needed more information.

  “Let’s take another look at the prow,” I said.

  “All right,” Octavian said with a resigned sigh. This was not how he had envisioned our vacation.

  There was less of a crowd on deck than before. The evening breeze had grown cooler, and that mixed with the boredom of seeing nothing happen with the rescue o
peration had made many head inside to resume their drinking, dancing, and gambling. My heart sank. Maggie was already becoming yesterday’s news.

  Not to the Coast Guard and the crew. They were still out there, scouring the sea with their searchlights. It had been well over an hour now, and I could see there was no hope.

  First, we went to the observation deck behind the prow. A few people still sat in there, talking about what had happened. From what I eavesdropped, I could tell everyone assumed it had been a suicide.

  “Poor woman. She should have talked to someone,” a woman in her eighties said, sitting in a little circle of similarly aged people. All tut-tutted and shook their heads.

  “Oh yes. When I’m feeling blue, I always talk to my cats. Did I tell you about my cats? I have fifteen of them. There’s Chester and Linus and …”

  “You would think she would kill herself somewhere else and not inconvenience everyone.”

  “And Mildred and Ethel …”

  “At least she didn’t throw herself in front of a train. Think of the mess!”

  “And Constanze and Abigail …”

  “Yes, that would be terrible, but now we’ve stopped to look for her, and we’ll probably be late getting to the islands.”

  “And Alphonse and William Shatner …”

  “Why don’t they put out some big fishing nets? I’m sure they could find her that way. Get some fresh fish for the buffet too.”

  “And Abelard and Heloise …”

  “There are no security cameras,” Octavian observed.

  “No there aren’t,” I replied. “Let’s go out to the prow.”

  The sailor who had been standing on guard duty was still at his post. The other one, the one who had been looking over the edge, had left. That made me feel sad. He was the first searcher to give up. Soon the boats would come in, the searchlights from the cruise ship would turn off, and the helicopters would head to shore over a dark sea.

  Maggie’s body, in all likelihood, would never be found.