by Dhasi Mwale
She bit back the tears the concern in his eyes brought to hers. After everything she’d said to him, he still cared. What was wrong with her? What would it take for her to accept that this man loved her?
She pushed away her troubles and spoke. “No. Not really. My career is over. No show. No portfolio.”
They sat in silence. Wezi didn’t even turn the ignition. He seemed to be having a battle of his own. A few minutes later, he shot out of the car and ran up to Felicia’s door.
Katenekwa stayed in her seat, weakened by a new fear. She’d destroyed her only chance with a man who cared so much for her well-being that he’d risk hospitalization and possibly death for her. Felicia was not going to receive him with open arms.
Katenekwa walked up to the house a few minutes later, worried that the lack of screaming meant Felicia had murdered him in a fit of rage. She knocked on the door, and it swung open. Seeing no one, she walked in. She took the left turn to the living room, but she was faced with a sight that shattered her heart.
Wezi was lying back on the three-seater Italian leather lounge suite with Felicia on top of him, locked in a passionate kiss.
Chapter 9
The wheels in her head stopped turning. She watched as if having an out of body experience—she was there, but not quite. Pressure squeezed her heart, and darkness claimed her soul.
With the last of her strength, she willed herself to return to the car, wondering if she’d driven Wezi back into Felicia’s arms.
He re-emerged an eternity later with Felicia on his arm. They seemed to be on talking terms again, judging from the Afro-pop diva’s carefree laughter.
Katenekwa watched what was probably the most perfectly matched couple she’d ever set her eyes on walk toward her. Ken and Barbie made for each other.
She chased the despair away and stepped out of the car. “Hey. You seem to have made up.”
Felicia shrugged. “We just needed to have a grown-up talk. I’ll play at your festival. For Keystone.”
“Thanks. It would have meant the world to him.”
“Sure. He was special.” Felicia rubbed Wezi’s arm as if reluctant to let him drive away with another woman.
Sure. Like Katenekwa ever stood a chance with Felicia back in the picture.
The drive to her office took longer than she’d anticipated. She stared out the window. Wezi drove with his hands gripping the wheel as if for dear life. The space inside the car shrank with every uncomfortable breath they took.
Outside her office, Wezi spoke up. “Are you ever going to talk to me again?”
“We are talking, aren’t we? And thanks for helping with Felicia.”
“You’re welcome.” He hunched over the steering wheel, his tall frame filling up space. "And we aren’t talking. This isn’t us. We don’t fight.”
He turned to face her, worry ingrained in his features.
“Wezi, we changed our dynamic when you kissed me, and I let you. Things are never going back. We have to move forward.”
“I want to move forward,” he whispered with intent. Intent to take their relationship in a direction that was no longer an option.
“No. You want what’s already gone.”
“Kitty.” He paused and sought out her eyes. “I love you.”
Hot tears welled up in her eyes. “No. Please don’t do this to me, Wezi.”
“Do what? Confess that I’ve been dreaming about you from the moment we met? That I begin and end with you? That my heart aches for you? Kitty, I love you.” He reached for her hands and covered them in kisses.
She refused to let the tears come. The memory of Felicia on top of him, his arms around her, was still fresh. “No. I can’t do this, Wezi. I can’t.”
“Kitty.”
She pulled from his grasp and ran all the way to her office, where she locked herself in the storage closet and ignored Gwen’s pleas. Where she snubbed Wezi’s attempts to coax her out. Where she heard Gwen advise him to leave. She stayed there until she stopped trembling. Until the world around her stopped spinning.
She stepped out minutes later and feverishly threw herself into work, her irrational feelings neatly locked away behind a wall of determination. Gwen watched in silence, pretending to browse a wedding dress catalogue for one of their clients.
Tired of her staring, Katenekwa confessed. “We fought.”
“I see that. What about?”
“He said he loved me, and I ran.”
“Oh, sweetie, you are messed up.”
“I know.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “Wezi is…. I just can’t with him. Besides, things are good with Josiah. I don’t want to ruin that.”
“So, you and Josiah are officially a thing now?”
Katenekwa nodded, unable to utter the deciding words. But why not? She’d obviously made up her mind about which man she preferred. All she had to do was say it out loud, make it real. Audibly choose Josiah.
She was glad for the knock at the door. But the sight of her visitor kicked her heart into her feet.
“Hi.” She forced a smile. “I wasn’t expecting you.”
“Yeah, you left your day planner in my car. Thought I’d drop it off. You’re here early.”
Katenekwa accepted the binder. She’d been so distracted by Wezi that she’d forgotten the most essential tool she had.
Lillian was right: nothing good could come out of her dating that guy. She stepped forward and embraced Josiah, holding on to his familiar and comfortable frame as if her life depended on it. For sure, her sanity did. She’d always known he was suitable for her. Still, her foolish heart had gone on an escapade, running after the heartbreaker of a bastard who said he loved her and used the same lips to pleasure another woman.
“Are you all right?” Josiah looked her at with concern in his eyes.
She nodded. “Just had a crisis. It’s all better now. Thanks for this.”
“Do you want to grab a bite and talk about it?”
“I might. Aren’t you busy with work, though?”
“I can take an early break. I’m here for you.” He placed a gentle kiss on her lips.
Josiah’s touch didn’t set her ablaze and drive her into desperation as Wezi’s did. Instead, it was warm and relaxing, like the warmth of the sun on a cold day. He was comfort, sanity, and peace. She needed this. She needed Josiah.
Josiah’s company left her less sore and bruised from Wezi’s betrayal. By the afternoon, she was feeling more like herself. Perhaps Lillian wasn’t just being insufferable about dating the talent.
Katenekwa bid Josiah farewell around three in the afternoon and swung by Media GQ for her daily debrief with Lillian. She was met with music as she approached the foyer. Odd. The studios and rehearsal spaces were soundproof, and she’d never heard the receptionist play music.
She stepped into the foyer to a sight she hadn’t prepared herself for: Wezi and Felicia, singing a duet as he strummed on Kitty, their voices in perfect harmony. Katenekwa quickly scanned the room. They’d attracted a sizeable audience - Mike, Lillian, some employees of Media GQ and a trio she was confident from media coverage were Felicia’s entourage. She walked in but hang back.
Katenekwa’s eyes stung at the melody of the song and the lyrics she’d committed to heart. How dare Wezi desecrate K’s memory by singing that song with Felicia? It was their song—her, K and Wezi. The one song K had never recorded. Wezi had no right to share it with someone else. She wished she could slip back out without being noticed but instead sidestepped to stand beside Lillian.
“Aren’t they so perfect together?” Lillian whispered in her ear as if reading her mind.
“They sure are.”
“I heard you saved the day with Felicia.” Mike leaned forward. “Lillian was right to hire you.”
“I told you she was a winner, didn’t I?” Lillian glowed with pride, and Katenekwa wished she could let it wash over her and release her from her pain.
“Now, I wonder if you can turn some of th
at magic into making that man sign with us. His voice—divine.”
Katenekwa spoke through the waves of heartbreak the sounds of Felicia and Wezi were sending her way. “No luck on that one. No one can make Wezi do what he doesn’t want to do.”
“Sounds like you,” Lillian said and joined the applause.
Wezi lifted his head, and their eyes met. Katenekwa refused to be drawn in by the cascade of emotions in those deep black eyes. When they shared a glance, all else faded. There was nothing like it in the world, and she loathed, yet adored, how her heart felt at home in the chaos of emotions that his presence induced. He gave her an uncomfortable smile, and needles stabbed the insides of her eyelids. Felicia drew his attention away from Katenekwa, and together, engaged the adoring audience with their duet.
Swarmed by fans. This was Wezi’s future, and he needed a leading lady who understood and loved the life.
Katenekwa hated to admit it, but Felicia was his perfect match—frying pans notwithstanding. Besides, Josiah was a good enough guy, and if Katenekwa didn’t feel any sparks, she could always find someone else. Just not the handsome singer who’d dashed her life into a million pieces.
“Are you going to sing a duet at the festival? Oh. That will be amazing,” a voice exclaimed.
Katenekwa steeled herself against the rush of emotions—the most prominent of all, betrayal.
“Again,” Mike said, squeezing her shoulder on his way out, “great job. You are on to great things. The sky’s the limit.”
But she’d already fallen to her death.
***
Katenekwa managed to get through her debrief without getting teary and exited the building with the haste of someone too busy for small talk. She feared what a normal conversation would do to her in this raw state.
She marched with purpose to her car and came face to face with Wezi.
He looked like he’d been waiting at her car forever.
Katenekwa debated going back into the building, but sooner or later, she’d have to face him. If not here, then at home.
“Riveting performance.” She forced a smile.
“You don’t have to pretend you liked it.”
“I did. You were perfect. I can’t imagine why you ever broke up. You’re a power couple.”
He looked at her, face strained. “Can we not fight about this right now?”
“When would be an appropriate time for you, your majesty?”
“Kitty.” His tone was plaintive.
Katenekwa released her bottled frustration. It wasn’t as if she could make things any worse between them. “No, Wezi. You came back into my life, and you brought chaos. I was happy. I had accepted losing K, and then you showed up and promised me the world but gave me hell. I’m hurting so much. I can’t even think.” She breathed against her shrinking rib cage.
He folded his arms across his chest and kicked the ground with his boot. “What would you have me do? Stop loving you?”
“Stop saying you love me. Please. Stop.” She squeezed her eyes shut as if sight was her enemy in this situation.
“And deny how I feel? How I’ve felt for so long?” He bared himself to her, and there was no denying the depth of emotion in his words, his being. He believed he loved her. He did. Oh, how cruel of him to do this to her!
“You don’t love me. You don’t. And maybe you think you do right now. But what happens when you get famous? Hmm? When you’re surrounded by adoring fans, who want to please you. Will you remember the sad little event planner who gave you her heart? I don’t want to hurt anymore, Wezi. Please.”
“You wouldn’t hurt if you stopped thinking about a future that will never be. Stay with me in this moment. In this time and space where you are the only woman for me. Can you do that?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“Why?”
“Because I saw you kiss Felicia.”
He shut his eyes and took pause. “And I suppose you won’t believe me when I say she kissed me.”
“No. I can’t accept that.”
“Okay, then,” he said quietly. “I’ll move out. You don’t have to see me again.”
“That’s not what I’m saying. You can stay. I made a promise. I can handle you being around as long as you stop saying you love me.”
“But I can’t stick around you, knowing you want me to stop loving you. You’ll find the keys under the mat. Goodbye, Kitty.”
He walked out of her life, guitar on his back, and he left a canyon in her heart. But it was for the best. Wezi needed to exit her life for her to move forward.
Even if it hurt as though she’d taken a bullet to the chest.
Chapter 10
Katenekwa half hoped she’d find Wezi waiting for her when she got home. She’d hoped he’d try one more time to win her heart. But he didn’t. He was gone, and her flat felt so empty.
She didn’t give it a second thought in the morning and put all her energy into the day’s work. She had an event to plan, and her emotions would have to take a back seat for now. Although frankly, she hadn’t been doing much planning today, thanks to Felicia.
Lillian had warned her that Felicia was a diva, but to think that she’d reduced Katenekwa to a personal shopper. She had better things to do than fulfil Felicia’s every whim. But she had to tread carefully lest Felicia threw another tantrum and quit the show. And since Felicia refused to work with anyone else, Katenekwa’s diva-satisfying task of the day was helping Felicia select snacks for her Festival green room.
She carried the basket to Felicia’s house, half wishing the diva would choke on the contents. She should be at her dad’s farm checking up on the last of the gala preparations instead of She hoped to God that Gwen would be able to handle the last-minute arrangements.
A different maid from the one she remembered led her to the back, where Felicia and Wezi were lounging by the pool.
Why was she not surprised to see him there? She gave them her heartiest smile. He would not see her break today. She’d cried herself to sleep and awoken to a new day. Besides, the show was tomorrow, and then all memories of Wezi would be gone.
“Hey,” he said, guilt all over his face.
“Hey to you, too.”
“You brought the food. Yeah.” Felicia gestured for her to put the basket on the table.
Wezi stood. “If you ladies don’t mind, I have to excuse myself.”
“Oh, don’t be silly, darling,” Felicia said. “I need your help picking out snacks for the festival. Come sit with me.” She grabbed his hand and nudged him to sit on the armrest of her chair.
“Actually, he won’t be much help,” Katenekwa said. “Most of your snacks are meat-based.”
“So?”
“He’s a vegetarian.” Katenekwa masked her surprise.
Felicia turned to Wezi, mouth agape. “Since when, darling?”
“For as long as you’ve known me,” he said.
“That can’t be right. Really? Oh. Then we need to make major changes to the menu.” Felicia rested her arm on Wezi’s thigh.
“Oh, don’t worry about him. He’s already catered for. I gave the caterer precise instructions.” Instructions she was tempted to modify. Not that she’d add allergens or anything like that. She wasn’t trying to kill the guy.
But seeing him with Felicia ignited pettiness she didn’t know she was capable of. She was desperate for him to experience a small measure of her misery by any means possible.
She inhaled deeply and grounded herself. She wasn’t that girl. She needed a moment to sift out her negativity.
“May I use the bathroom?” She asked Felicia.
“Sure. Just go in, and the maid will direct you.”
“I’ll leave this here so you can decide.” She placed the scoring sheet next to the basket.
Wezi barely looked at her as she left.
Her phone rang on her way to the bathroom.
“Hi. You didn’t call me back last night,” Josiah said.
“S
orry, I got distracted, and I’ve been busy with work today. How have you been?”
“Great. Are we still on for tonight?”
“Yes. I have some things to do before the gala, so you can meet me there. Just call me if you get lost.”
“I’ll call you when I get off work.”
Katenekwa held her phone to her chest, wishing Josiah’s calls would comfort her as they once had. Knowing she couldn’t hide forever, she emerged from the house and went into the garden to find Felicia ticking off items by herself.
“Where’s Wezi?”
“He left. Said he had to get home.”
“Oh. He’s not staying with you?”
Felicia laughed. “I wish. Man has a will of steel. But I almost broke him that day when you came. I could swear he was this close to responding to my kiss. But I guess I’m no Kitty. God, I hate that bitch.”
Katenekwa’s heart fluttered. “Why hate someone you don’t know?”
“Do you have any idea how hard it is for a man to resist physical temptation? Especially an ex? I tried everything with Wezi. Zip. Nada. And I have had success in the seduction department. But this guy—he’s sealed shut. Kitty is one lucky woman.” She paused to take a bite of a cake. “God, I hate that lucky bitch.”
Katenekwa didn’t feel lucky. On the contrary, she felt foolish if she had to be honest. Wezi had told her time and again that he was nothing like K, but she’d refused to believe him, and now she’d lost him.
Katenekwa left with Felicia’s menu alterations, which the caterer would not be happy about. For some reason, the diva had decided to add off-menu items to her list of demands. Wezi was right—she was a piece of work.
A piece of paper under her windshield wiper caught her attention. She pulled the note from under the wiper.
I didn’t write love songs until I met you. If there’s a chance you still want me, I’ll never stop wanting you. I wrote this song for you.
She turned the paper over. Tears welled up in her eyes at the song on the sheet of music. Memories of being with K and Wezi, singing at the tops of their lungs as they drove down the highway on their way to her dad’s farm. All the memories of happiness and contentment that time had stolen from her.
