by Dhasi Mwale
***
Katenekwa stared at her reflection in the full-length mirror in the hallway. She rarely got the opportunity to dress up. Her day to day demanded comfortable, practical clothing.
She’d fallen in love with the vintage burgundy gown the instant she laid eyes on it. The form-fitting satin gown was so long she was forced to wear six-inch heels. The sweetheart neckline dipped just low enough to be sexy but not so much that she’d spend all evening tucking her breast back in. Her favourite part, though, was the bejewelled bodice. A simple floral pattern made of rhinestones in varying shades of red made the bodice shimmer ever so slightly in the light. It was a dress that had satisfied her adult need for sophistication and her inner child’s love of glitz.
But today, her perfect dress didn’t shine.
Her gala was a success, and her date was waiting for her outside. Tomorrow the festival would start. Her dreams were coming true. So why didn’t she want to go to the party?
She stepped forward, intending to walk out of the farmhouse into the garden to meet her date but instead ducked into the kitchen, gripped by an unshakable fear.
“Hi, there.”
She jumped, startled by the voice. She stared at Wezi, seated at the kitchen island, sipping on orange juice, in her father’s house. She was sure he hadn’t been invited to the gala. Could Felicia have brought him as her plus one?
She eyed his outfit—a plain tee-shirt—and concluded he wasn’t here for the gala. “I didn’t see you there.”
“Obviously. How are you, Kitty?”
“I’m fine.” She stood her ground as if proximity would assault her. “What are you doing here?”
“Oh, yeah. Your dad let me stay.”
“Oh. That’s um…that’s good.”
“I saw the set-up outside. It’s perfect.”
“It’s okay. Nothing’s perfect.”
Wezi smiled. “You are.”
Katenekwa waited for him to declare his love like he’d so persisted in doing so far.
“This was kind of stupid,” he said with a nervous laugh.
“What was?”
“Staying here. I’m sorry for making this awkward.” He pushed away from the counter.
“No. You can stay. I’ll stay out of your way. Besides, I’m sure Dad likes your company.”
“Yeah. I think I remind him of K.”
“Yeah, well, you guys were inseparable.”
They stood for the longest time, neither moving, neither able to speak.
Josiah’s arrival broke the tension.
“Hi. Gwen said I could find you in here. Hello.” He turned to eye Wezi.
Katenekwa smiled at Josiah. He looked amazing in his tux. He was, after all, a man who was accustomed to the finer things in life.
“Um, this is Wezi. He’s a friend of the family,” Katenekwa said. With that introduction, she sealed her fate. She pushed Wezi out of the intimacy of friendship.
“You must be Josiah,” Wezi said. “Cool. So, um, it was nice seeing you, Kitty. Enjoy your party. Josiah.”
“Thanks.” Josiah waited for Wezi to exit. “Wow, you look phenomenal.”
“You, too. Honestly, I’m really glad you came.” She took his hand in hers, grateful for his presence.
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Shall we?”
***
It was half-past one when the last Tiffany chair was loaded onto the truck, and Katenekwa’s job for the night was done. Gwen had begged to leave earlier. After all the work she’d done while Katenekwa enjoyed the gala with Josiah, Katenekwa obliged and lent her car. She’d have to borrow her father’s car in the morning.
Her body ached in places she didn’t know could hurt. She limped into her childhood bedroom, her feet strained even in the flats she’d swapped for her heels. She needed just enough strength to get to the bed and under the covers.
Out of instinct, she unzipped her dress, letting it fall to the ground, and flipped on the light switch. She was sure she still had some nightwear in the closet.
She jumped at the figure lying in her bed, stifled a scream, and knocked over a lamp.
He stirred at the bang.
“What are you doing in my room?” she hissed none too kindly.
Wezi’s eyes widened, and Katenekwa remembered her gown lying at her feet. She scooped it up just enough to cover her nakedness.
“I should ask you that. I’m staying here, remember?”
“What about the guest room?”
“Aunt Mimi’s in the guest room, and I can’t share a bedroom with your dad.”
Damn it! She’d forgotten all about Aunt Mimi. “Damn it, Wezi. I’m so tired, and I just want to lie down.”
“We can share. I’m not stingy.” He peeled the duvet back and patted the empty spot next to him, a devious grin on his lips.
Katenekwa narrowed her eyes and focused on a spot on the wall above his head and not on his deliciously trim torso. She was certain the bulge in his fitted blue Calvin Klein knockoffs was getting larger.
“So, you can have your way with me?”
He raised a brow and folded his arms across his chest. “It was a sincere offer. Besides, I don’t need tricks to get you into bed.”
Katenekwa rolled her eyes even though her heart responded differently. “Stranded in my father’s house. Serves me right. I should have just gone home with Josiah. But no, I had to make sure everything was packed up.”
A shadow passed over Wezi’s brow, and the smirk disappeared. He dropped his arms to his sides but somehow seemed more aggressive. “Your boyfriend didn’t stay to help?”
Bitterness usurped her lust, and she shot daggers at him with her eyes. “Josiah’s working early, and he’s not my boyfriend.”
“I would have stayed,” Wezi said in a matter-of-fact way and quickly added, no doubt seeing the scowl developing on her face. “So, he’s not your boyfriend. Why’s that? He seemed like an okay guy.”
She had no intention of having this conversation with him. This was a conversation no woman wants to have with the man she rebuffed but still loves. “It’s complicated.”
“You don’t make it easy to love you, do you, Kitty?” he said softly.
No, she didn’t. She barely understood it herself—the confusion of emotions inside her. Why couldn’t she just stick with one feeling and go with it? Why did she feel helpless when she let her heart lead? She didn’t want to be so difficult. Yet, she just didn’t know how to be anything else.
“I get it, you know,” Wezi said, oblivious to her struggle.
“Get what?”
“Why you chose him over me.”
Oh, she couldn’t wait to hear his theories. Financial stability? Age? The real possibility of marriage? Of course, Wezi thought she was so shallow that she’d picked Josiah based on what he could offer her.
“Pray, tell,” she said, her teeth clenched to contain her animosity.
“No fire equals no risk of being burned, right?”
“I…” Katenekwa’s retort died in her throat. She swallowed, gathered strength, and responded, “I don’t need fire. I’m not like you.”
Wezi’s laugh shook her. The melodious laugh she’d basked in sliced her heart and interrogated her on her choices.
“Oh, but dearest Kitty, you are: Just. Like. Me.” He jumped from the bed and advanced on her.
Kitty backed away and into the closed door. Wezi didn’t stop till he stood abreast of her. His lustful eyes raked her body, and she shivered.
“Wezi,” she managed to croak.
He held his face an inch from hers, breathing warm, toothpaste-scented breath on her. So, he hadn’t been asleep long.
“Do you want me as much as I want you, or am I being an ass?” he whispered.
“Maybe,” she responded to both questions.
Her fears screamed for her to walk away. But the memory of his kiss bid her to taste him again.
She stood on tiptoe, let the dress fall to the floor and touched her
lips to his.
His response was immediate. He bucked into her and devoured her in a kiss hungrier than any they’d ever shared.
Katenekwa relinquished control and melted in his arms. She let herself enjoy the exploration of his tongue, the roaming of his hands on her body, into her underwear. She gasped, pressing into him, needing all of him.
He lifted her to his body, his hardness against her stomach, ready. She was hungry for Wezi. She must have him now. Damn the consequences.
Chapter 11
Katenekwa expected regret to rouse her at dawn, but all she felt was fulfilment. She bit her lip to stop the moan escaping her lips at the memory of Wezi inside her.
Of all the reckless things she’d done, none was more foolish than bedding her crush in her childhood bed. She turned to find the space beside her empty. Wezi was up already? Clearly, he had figured out that the best way to deal with her dad was to bail after their illicit night of fun.
Her body shuddered at the memory. Passion, love, and hunger all wrapped in the delectable package that was Wezi. But as much as she wished to spend all day in fantasy, she had to get to work. Her father should be up by now, by habit. Even though the retired man had nothing to rush for, he was still an early bird.
She found him pouring himself a cup of coffee. Decaf, she hoped.
“Morning. You spent the night?”
Katenekwa shrivelled under her dad’s inquiring gaze. He knew. Oh God, he knew. “It was late.”
“Hmm.” He brought the coffee cup to his lips and slurped loudly. “If you’re looking for Wezi, he left really early.”
Katenekwa smiled like an imbecile. “Why would I be looking for Wezi?”
“I’m sure you know I asked him to stay.”
“Yep. I found him in the kitchen last night. So, that’s cool.”
He raised a brow. “You two annoy me.”
Katenekwa blinked. “Excuse me. We what?”
“I know as a father I’m not supposed to involve myself in these matters, but you two have gotten on my last nerve. Obviously, you love each other, but you just won’t get out of each other’s way. And you’re trying to move on with that phoney man.” He paused to shake his head. “He’s as boring as a doorknob.”
Katenekwa blinked at her father and opened her mouth a few times before she managed to make a sound. “You. Um. What?”
“And now she’s speechless. You live in the misery of your own making, child.”
That much was true. “Just out of curiosity, how long have you known about this?”
“I have eyes, unlike you. He’s always been in love with you. I kept hoping you’d see it, but you were too far in your own mind.”
So, she’d spent years pining for a man who’d loved her before she even noticed him. “Don’t worry, Dad. I’m going to make it right.”
“Start by ditching the doorknob. So boring.”
Katenekwa beamed at him, glad she had a father who more than made up for her lack of a mother. She placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. “Thanks, Dad.”
***
Katenekwa was no coward, but she froze at Josiah’s door. Their relationship needed to be defined now. She had to tell him to move on, and then she’d be able to do the same.
She shifted her weight from one leg to the other, waiting for him to answer the door before she lost her last strand of courage, bolted, and let him down him via text.
She cleared her throat as a key turned in the door. She clenched and unclenched her hands as guilt rolled over her, and the bliss she’d carried around in her body shrunk into a husk.
She’d given in to her desire for Wezi without a thought for Josiah, and he’d been nothing but a gentleman. He’d been so patient with her, and this was how she repaid him? And she dared to show up at his door and break up with him as if she were innocent?
She took a bracing inhalation. It had to be done, no matter the consequences. She waited, poised to offer a cheery good morning.
The door opened, and the “good morning” stuck in her throat.
Josiah’s face brightened. “Good morning. I thought we were meeting at the festival. Come in.”
He ushered her into his flat. She’d once found comfort in this place. The cosy red and black sofa she’d curled up on as they binge-watched shows on his massive flat screen.
On cold days, he left the embroidered white rayon drapes covering the large windows open so the sun rays could warm the small room. When it was warm, they sat on the balcony, which didn’t view anything. The two-bedroom flat was rudimentary at best.
Josiah lived a simple life for a man with more than moderate success.
He wasn’t about the material wealth, and she’d loved that about him. If only she could have loved him. Her place of comfort was her courtroom now. It demanded her honesty, her confession.
She sank onto the sofa, unable to be as cheery as she’d thought she could be. Keeping her breathing steady, she hoped her voice was stable too. “I was hoping to talk to you before the show.”
“Yeah? Do you want some breakfast? I’d offer to drive to the show with you, but your outfit tells me you haven’t been home yet.”
Katenekwa glanced down at her gown. “I didn’t make it home.”
“So, what do you want to talk about?”
Katenekwa braced herself. Letting a guy down in person was more challenging than she’d imagined. She wasn’t really one for dating. Usually, the unwelcome man would just disappear if she stopped paying attention to him. This was different. Josiah had stuck around even when she wasn’t ready for a relationship. She owed him this one thing.
“It’s about us. I’ve kept you waiting for a while. You are the kindest, sweetest, most patient man I know. I can’t keep you guessing forever, and the truth is, I don’t think this is ever going to work.”
It took a second for Josiah to process the information. Confusion turned to realization, morphed into anger and sadness, and then his expression went quiet. He put on his business face. That straight, serious face he put on for work. He rolled his shoulders and straightened his back.
“This is about Wezi, isn’t it?” Josiah said in a matter-of-fact way.
“It’s not...”
He raised his hand to shush her. “Don’t lie to me, Kate. I’m not a child. I saw how you looked at him. You’ve never looked at me that way.”
“I’m sorry,” Katenekwa said softly.
“Have you slept with him?” His eyes sought hers.
Katenekwa fought the urge to look away and betray the truth. Somehow her eyes still did.
Josiah nodded to the unspoken answer, and then he laughed.
Katenekwa blinked. It was Josiah’s usual laugh, but it held so much pain that it burrowed deep into Katenekwa’s core.
“I should have known. Everything I heard about your brother, but somehow I thought you’d be different, even after the games you’ve been playing all year. I was stupid enough to think you were the good egg.”
Josiah’s words slapped her in the face. No. She was nothing like K. She wasn’t a player. She hadn’t betrayed anyone. Josiah wasn’t her boyfriend, right? He’d never been. She hadn’t betrayed him. But she had lied. She’d dodged him, kept him in the dark while she indulged in fantasies with Wezi. She’d told herself there was nothing to betray while she gave him hope that he was the only man in her life. Oh, God! He was right.
“I didn’t mean to….”
“Get out.”
She flinched at the muted fury in his voice. “Josiah.”
“Get out.”
She sighed, gathered herself and stood. “I’m sorry you see it that way. Goodbye, Josiah.”
***
With most of the work done, Katenekwa found herself wandering the showground, offering assistance no one needed. She hadn’t heard from or seen Wezi since last night. Every cell in her body told her he’d bailed on her. He’d gotten her into bed, and now he’d vanished like only he knew how. But she’d deal with the debris of he
r love life later. For now, she had a festival to manage.
“Katenekwa, you genius you!” Mike found her behind the main stage. He hugged her tightly, his face flush with excitement. “This is a success! You should see the crowds waiting to come in. Are all the acts here?”
All except Wezi. “The director says we are ready to go.”
“Excellent. Excellent. You know, I was sceptical when Keystone asked to organize this event. Even more so when he insisted you plan it. But this is more than I could have imagined.”
“Thank you.” Katenekwa beamed.
“And getting Wezi to sign with us—the icing on the cake. You are something special, Miss Mwaba.”
Katenekwa stared after Mike’s retreating back. Wezi had signed with them? When? How? She glanced at her phone again. Where was that bastard?
Tucking her pride away, she marched to Felicia’s trailer. The diva was stretched out kitten-like on the couch, scrolling on her phone.
“Comfortable?” Katenekwa asked.
“It’s all right. Though I do wish there was alcohol.”
“Sorry, it’s a family festival, so no booze allowed. Hey, have you seen Wezi today? You guys are supposed to do that duet, and I’m wondering if you’re all set.”
“Aargh. That bastard cancelled on me. He was mumbling something about saving it for his true love or whatever. God, I can’t believe I dated him. He’s so damn weird. But he’s so handsome, too. Eish! I need to get a grip.”
With that, Katenekwa agreed. “Uh-huh. So where did he say he was going?”
“No idea.”
“Okay. Thanks. Call me if you need anything,” she offered, playing the courteous host while hoping the diva wouldn’t take her up on the offer. She’d hate to turn into Felicia’s errand girl.
She rechecked her phone. Still nothing from Wezi. This time her heart refused to overlook the fact that he’d disappeared on her again. He’d run like he was so good at doing. Damn it! Why had she thought he was capable of a normal relationship?
She spent the next half hour gliding around the festival grounds, there but not aware. A living ghost. She was in stasis, clutching the last slivers of hope. Refusing to mourn without absolute proof that he’d genuinely run. Her mind, however, laid the past as evidence before her. He’d done it once; he’d do it again.
