One Way or Another

by A. L. Brooks

  I wonder what you’re after, cute thing. And I wonder if I could help you with that.

  Sarah shook her head and winced. She sounded like a line from a bad porn movie. And also like she was falling straight into her usual modus operandi—seeking out the women who were least likely to give her what she truly desired.

  She returned the empty cup to the tray holding the Nespresso machine and wandered across the shop to the bookshelf. The distraction of a range of lesbian erotic titles was probably just what she needed right now.

  Or not, she thought, as her gaze once again, and almost against her will, returned to the cute woman she’d met outside.

  For all that Miss Keane stirred Sarah’s libido—to be honest, many women did—somehow another feeling swept over Sarah when she looked at her, and it was the same feeling that had made her step in with that vile Mrs Marchbanks.

  Tenderness.

  Sarah tore her gaze away from the woman and forced herself to look at the titles on the erotica shelf even as she rolled her eyes at herself. Tenderness? Her? Sarah Connolly didn’t know what the word meant.

  Except, she did, when she glanced back at Miss Keane, strolling around the shop, eyes wide behind her glasses. God, she was cute, and that weird feeling swamped Sarah again. That feeling like she wanted to protect her even as she pushed her up against the wall and kissed her senseless.

  Okay, okay, this is getting ridiculous. Get a bloody grip on yourself.

  This time she not only looked away from the woman, but physically turned so that she couldn’t even see her out of the corner of her eye.

  Yes, that was much better. Wasn’t it?

  “Hello there. Welcome!” the sales assistant called out as Bethany stepped through the door.

  “Hello,” Bethany squeaked, alarmed at the gusto with which she’d been greeted. What was that woman on?

  “Would you like a tea or coffee?”

  Bethany startled. A hot drink? Now? Don’t be absurd.

  “No, I’m…fine. Thank you.”

  “Okay! Feel free to browse, or ask any questions you may have.”

  “I-I will. Thank you.”

  Bethany managed a smile, remembering that her manners had already let her down once and determined not to slack again.

  The assistant returned the smile—actually, she beamed—before continuing with her task. Bethany stared—were those dildo harnesses the woman was attaching to small hangers? They were in multiple colours and designs, and the thought of their purpose brought a quick flush to Bethany’s cheeks. Images of what she’d like to do with a woman while wearing one of those threatened to blow a fuse somewhere in the back of her brain.

  As much as she’d anticipated this—that this shop would tap into all her deepest fantasies—the reality was even more electric than she’d imagined. Her skin was actually buzzing simply from being surrounded by all this potential for pleasure.

  She turned away and her gaze scanned the room. Directly to her left were books. Erotic books. The woman from outside was currently browsing the collection, and Bethany yanked her gaze away. This place was intoxicating enough without that distractingly beautiful androgynous women with amazing brown eyes. And anyway, despite how kind she’d been at the very end of their interaction, her earlier crass behaviour meant she was someone Bethany intended to stay well away from, no matter how gorgeous she was.

  Beyond the books was a set of shelves holding mugs, coasters, and other sex-themed paraphernalia. A little further clockwise round the room was the dildo section, and directly in front of her, the vibrator section. She knew from researching the shop on the internet that there was also a downstairs area where, if she was so inclined, she could find restraints, whips, paddles, and multiple toys and accessories for anal play.

  Maybe another time.

  She shivered with excitement. Definitely another time, if she ever found the courage to pursue her true desires.

  Bethany shuffled forward to the vibrator section, acutely aware that she and the woman she’d spoken to outside were the only customers in the shop. She dared a glance round. The other woman was now in the dildo section, picking up one after the other, hefting them in her hand and turning them every which way before setting them down and moving on to the next. Another sight that threatened to immolate Bethany. She wanted to explore dildos at some point—but again, perhaps not today. And perhaps not until she had a girlfriend to use one on, even though she knew a dildo could just as easily be used for self-pleasuring.

  Ripping her gaze away from that section, and specifically the arousing sight of the annoyingly gorgeous woman fondling the silicone dildos, she forced herself to look at the range of vibrators.

  The variety was mind-boggling. Thankful again that she’d spent some time in research prior to her visit, her gaze homed in on the two she’d come to see. She picked up one in each hand. They were cool to the touch, but each was intriguing in its own way. Lightweight, and by the looks of it, easy to switch on and off. She turned them over in her hands, part of her brain thrilling at this new level of daring she was displaying. She was in a sex shop, handling vibrators!

  “The one on the left is a lovely one.”

  The voice was close to her ear. Bethany nearly jumped out of her skin, dropped both vibrators, and watched in horror as one thunked at her feet and the other bounced across the wooden floor to land a few feet away.

  “God, sorry!” said the voice.

  Bethany turned to face the woman.

  “You? Again?” Her heart thudding, Bethany swallowed before adding, “You scared the life out of me.”

  “Um, yeah. Sorry about that.”

  Bethany sighed and looked to the ceiling, taking a few deep breaths before looking back and saying, “It’s okay. Sorry I snapped.”

  The woman smiled and shrugged. “It’s fine. I’m clearly more of a ninja than I realised.”

  There was a warmth in her manner that had Bethany, in spite of her recent vow, relaxing into their encounter. After all, the woman hadn’t done this on purpose. Bethany bent down to pick up the vibrator at her feet, checking it wasn’t damaged, and was about to step over to retrieve the other one when the woman touched her arm.

  “I’ll do that.”

  She walked over and scooped it up, handing it back to Bethany when she was alongside her again.

  “There you go, no damage done.”

  “Everything okay over there?” the sales assistant called.

  “All fine, Mira. Me being a clumsy dolt,” the dark-haired woman replied, smiling at Bethany.

  “You didn’t have to say that,” Bethany murmured.

  The woman shrugged. “I know.”

  “Thank you.”

  She smiled again, and a strange little shiver moved through Bethany’s body.

  “So, would you like a recommendation, or shall I just back silently away?”

  Bethany chuckled, her tension releasing at the self-deprecating joke.

  “Um.” She paused. Could she? Should she? Oh, what the hell. “A recommendation would be helpful, thanks.” She blushed. “I-I’ve never bought one before.”

  She wasn’t entirely sure why she had shared that snippet of information, and especially not with this woman, but it was too late to take it back now.

  The woman’s eyes widened, and Bethany’s blush returned in full force. At twenty-eight, she probably was a little late to the sex-toy party, compared to some. She looked at the woman, trying to assess her age. Probably not far off her own, actually. But clearly more experienced when it came to what was on display in this shop.

  “Okay, well in that case, that one would definitely be a great place to start.” She pointed at the one in Bethany’s left hand. “It’s easy to use and has enough levels to satisfy most needs. I bought one myself a few years ago and I still return to it now and again.”

>   Bethany stared. Didn’t that count as over-sharing, or were there different rules in a sex shop?

  “Sarah’s right,” Mira said from somewhere behind Bethany. “It’s one of our bestsellers for good reason. Lots of women compliment it on its gentle action, especially as a starter vibrator. And it’s thin enough that you can use it for vaginal stimulation as well as clitoral.”

  Bethany swallowed hard and chased away a host of heat-inducing images that flashed through the front of her brain. She looked over her shoulder at Mira, who was smiling warmly.

  “Um, okay. Thanks.”

  She looked back at the woman—Sarah—and smiled weakly. “Okay, I think you two have talked me into it.”

  “Great,” Sarah said, smiling yet again. That smile sent a delicious quiver throughout Bethany’s body, which annoyed her immensely. Why am I reacting like this? She was a Neanderthal outside!

  “Cool,” Mira said. “I’ll get one from the cupboard downstairs and it’ll be on the counter when you’re ready to pay.” She walked past Bethany on her way to the stairs, still smiling.

  “Thank you.”

  Bethany was pleasantly stunned at her own alacrity. Only ten minutes into her first visit to a sex shop and she had her decision made. She placed the two demo vibrators back in their allotted spaces on the shelves, noting the slight trembling of her hands. This was out of her comfort zone, but it didn’t mean she didn’t want to be here. The realisation had been building over the last few months that something was missing in her life, and that had led her here, as a first step to getting out there again. Wherever ‘out there’ was. Desire and sexual need had been very much in the back of her mind since college. Since Michelle and their brief time together.

  Of course, now that she’d come to accept that she didn’t actually want to be alone, and that being involved with someone again would be quite nice, her natural tendency towards geekiness had ensured that she researched the heck out of what that would involve. Knowing her own body, and what she liked or didn’t like, was part of it. She had always masturbated—that wasn’t the problem. Relying on a few of her favourite fantasies had meant that whenever the urge took her—which wasn’t that often—she could happily bring herself to a fairly satisfactory climax. However, some of the research she’d done—films, magazines, books—had opened her eyes, and her libido, to a whole raft of new possibilities.

  It felt good, being this adventurous.

  “Happy with your purchase?” Sarah asked, and Bethany turned to find her grinning.

  Smiling back, the first genuine smile she’d managed since arriving at the shop, Bethany said, “Yes, thank you,” and moved away to dare to peruse the rest of the contents on this floor.

  “Hey, I never got your name,” Sarah called. “Well, I know from outside you’re Miss Keane and you teach a little snot called Michael, but I don’t know your first name.”

  Bethany turned back to face her, tilting her head. “Why would you need it?”

  Sarah startled, then laughed. “Well, for one thing, you know mine. It only seems fair to know yours.”

  She edged closer, and her sudden proximity brought her scent to Bethany’s nostrils—light, yet musky. Sensuous and teasing. Sparks zapped over Bethany’s skin from that scent alone.

  “I was also wondering, given how well I talked you into buying a vibrator, if I could also talk you into having a drink with me. There are some great bars around here.”

  Bethany didn’t know whether to be amused or alarmed. At what point in their brief interaction had she given any indication to this woman that she wanted to continue their acquaintance? In fact, surely she’d given every indication she wanted the exact opposite. Bethany knew it had been a while since she’d dipped her toe into the dating pool, but she didn’t remember the women she’d known back then being so…forward. And thick-skinned. Or maybe it was just this woman.

  Bethany took a step back.

  “Um, thanks. That’s a, um, nice idea, but I’ll pass.”

  There was a slight fall in Sarah’s expression, then she seemed to recover and plastered a too-wide smile on her—admittedly, very attractive—face. “Okay then. I’ll leave you to your shopping.” She stepped to the side and theatrically opened her arms to let Bethany pass.

  The gesture, in spite of everything, made Bethany smile as she walked past.

  “Thank you,” she said, dipping her head in a mock bow.

  Sarah laughed softly as she walked away.

  Wow, I haven’t had one blow me off so quickly in ages. But then, I didn’t exactly impress her outside the shop, so I suppose I shouldn’t be that surprised.

  Embarrassment was not an emotion Sarah felt often, but she was knee deep in it now.

  Her gaze tracked Miss Keane’s movement across the shop to the dildo section. Swearing under her breath, she tamped down any thoughts involving that woman and dildos when they attempted to present themselves to her mind’s eye.

  Sarah had not actually had a great track record the last few weeks, when she came to think of it. Had she lost her mojo? After working so hard to get herself into such good shape the last few years, she was rather used to women pretty much throwing themselves at her. Such rejection as she’d just experienced was hard to take.

  Yeah, and I can just imagine who would say that was good for me.

  She snorted, and inhaled a deep breath.

  Her gaze, despite her best intentions, insisted on following the delightfully alluring woman who was now lifting dildos of various sizes up from their shelves and turning them in her hands. Sarah tore her gaze away; this level of torture was more than she could bear.

  Sarah wasn’t even sure what it was about this Miss Keane that had her so hot under the collar. Although, she had to admit, the quiet, geeky type had always been her undoing. It was something about the combination of brains and beauty, and the—often—lack of awareness of exactly how attractive they were.

  Or, perhaps, in this case, it was simply the mere fact that the woman seemed immune to her charms.

  The thing was, though, she had thought, just for a moment, that Miss Keane’s eyes held a slightly different answer. That there was more than a hint of attraction there. She was normally pretty good at reading that stuff, so should she walk away just yet? Would there be any value in having another go?

  Sarah sighed. It really wasn’t like her to push for a second chance, but, as her gaze drifted once again to where Miss Keane was now handling—actually, more like fondling, good God—leather strap-on harnesses, she had to admit the idea was tempting. Sure, the woman hardly seemed the type to meet her deepest needs, but Sarah wasn’t sure she was ready to explore that yet anyway. So, just like with all the others, this woman would meet the surface needs, the ones that took only one night to satisfy. If only Sarah could get her to say yes to that drink…

  Sarah shook out her shoulders, flexed her fingers, then rolled her neck a couple of times and watched as the woman walked over to the counter to pay for her vibrator. It was her only purchase, Sarah noted, but she was also looking somewhat longingly back over her shoulder at the dildo section.

  As she left the counter with her purchase in one of the shop’s plain plastic bags, Sarah moved to intercept, keeping her movements smooth and easy. She didn’t want to spook her like before.

  “Before you go,” she said gently, as she reached the woman’s shoulder.

  Relieved to see Miss Keane stop and turn to look at her, Sarah dipped her hand into the small back pocket of her handbag, where she always kept a stock of her cards. When she withdrew one, the woman looked confused.

  “I’m not going to push,” Sarah continued, keeping her voice low but friendly, “but I am going to give you my card. I find you very attractive, and I really would like to take you out for that drink one evening. If you change your mind, please call me.”

  It was bold, but Sa
rah could do bold. She thrived on it, actually.

  Slowly, the woman reached out and took the proffered card, giving Sarah cause for a mental fist pump. She stared at it, then looked back up at Sarah.

  “I doubt that’s a good idea,” she said, her eyes narrowed.

  Ouch.

  She made to hand the card back, but Sarah, a sense of desperation invading her and making her reckless, reached out and closed the woman’s hand over the card, pressing it into her palm.

  “Keep it,” Sarah said, lowering her voice to her sexiest register. “Just in case you change your mind.”

  And there it was, that flicker in the woman’s eyes again. That hint of something that said she wasn’t entirely sure about her denial of Sarah’s invitation.

  Without a word she shoved the card into her handbag, spun round and walked away, then stopped again as she reached the door. Looking over her shoulder, her hair backlit by the setting sun, she looked…extraordinary. Sarah almost choked in wonder at the vision.

  “It’s…it’s Bethany, by the way,” she said, her voice croaky. “My first name.” And then she was gone.

  Chapter 3

  Sarah trotted up the front steps of the imposing Georgian terrace house where her Aunt Evelyn lived and pressed a finger to the old-fashioned bell push. The tinkling of the bell carried out to Sarah’s ears, and she smiled. She had fond memories of ringing that bell from her earliest childhood, and spending time with her aunt had been one of the few highlights of Sarah’s troubled teenage years.

  It wasn’t Evelyn who answered, however, but Jonathan, her live-in carer. He’d been with Evelyn for over ten years and was more like a family friend than an employee by this point. At forty-two, he was still handsome and trim, his dark blonde hair kept short to prevent its natural curl from going too wild. He was clean-shaven and lightly tanned, his blue eyes standing out against his tanned skin. He was immaculately dressed as always, in dark jeans and a long-sleeved white T-shirt, although Sarah had to smile at the bright pink household gloves he was wearing.