He laughed aloud, and I felt a jolt of sorrow at the familiar sound, hearing it with such a cynical edge. “You're not even a vampire.”
I smiled at him, shaking my head. “No. Not a true vampire,” I said with a sigh. “I'm afraid I can't feed from humans. I still find it distasteful to be honest.”
He snorted with disgust at the idea. “A vampire Master who isn't a vampire and doesn't drink blood, what kind of insanity is this?”
I laughed and held out my hand to stop him. “Oh, no, you misunderstand. I do drink blood, just ... not human blood.” I held his eyes while that sank in. “You see I can only feed from the strongest vampires ...” I turned and opened the door, pausing for effect. “But don't worry. Lucas will take care of that for me. He takes very good care of me. Have a good night, Corvus. I'm sure I'll see you again soon.”
And with that I closed the door and walked away with a triumphant grin as the heat of his anger followed me down the hall like a scalding wave.
Cain caught me up, rubbing his arms with a frown. “Well you pissed him off royally,” he murmured. “What happened?”
I shook my head, my triumph evaporating, leaving me with a hollow feeling over my heart. I wanted to run back and beg Corvus to remember me, to remember how he'd loved me and the feeling created a lump in my throat that I couldn't dislodge. Cain followed me down to the kitchen where I collapsed into a chair. The Château was seriously soundproofed to try and give everyone privacy, but I still couldn't speak with Cain as we weren't alone. To my dismay Rodney was there with Amelia, who leapt at me, pulling me to my feet and into a hug.
“You did it, Jéhenne!” she exclaimed. “You really brought him home!” She squeezed me so hard I had to exclaim.
“'Melia! Can't breathe!”
She let me go, laughing. “Sorry! But you're a bloody miracle, isn't she, Rodney?” I had to smile at the way she was picking up Rodney's expressions. She was so clearly besotted with him. She turned and beamed at Rodney, who smiled back, but his expression was subdued. He obviously hadn't told her everything. It crossed my mind to berate her for allowing Cyd to come back so soon when she knew I'd asked her to stay away.
“Course she is, Milly. We knew that though, eh?”
He poured a cup of tea in a large mug with ‘The Boss’ printed on the side and put it in my hands, covering mine with his own for a second. I was grateful for the concern, but suddenly I couldn't cope with them all. I wanted to go to bed and be by myself and not have to talk to everyone about how Corvus was and how he didn't love me any more.
“So what was he so furious about?” Cain pressed, and I glared at him, shaking my head. I couldn't talk about this in front of everyone. Lucas came in next, closely followed by Kai, and I avoided both of their eyes, not wanting to see the concern in Lucas' or deal with the fact that Kai wanted to see Corvus.
“So when can we see him?” Amelia asked, practically bouncing in her chair. “Poor Cyd is beside herself.”
“No, I see Corvus first!” Kai objected. “Jéhenne said I could.”
“Oh for fuck's sake,” Lucas muttered.
“What?” Amelia's delicate blonde brows drew together in annoyance. “You know how upset Cyd's been. It's been really hard on her.”
Lucas snorted, and I sighed as I saw Amelia narrow her eyes at him.
“What's your problem, Lucas?” she asked.
“I'll tell you what my problem is.” Lucas rounded on her and even I was taken aback by the wash of anger that prickled over my skin. “Don't you think we should all be just a little bit more concerned about how Jéhenne's coping than Cyd?” he shouted. “Did you even wonder what it cost her to go into Tartarus? Have you considered everything she's dealing with right now, being made part vampire, Master of the family, with the fucking Senate breathing down her neck and a god wanting revenge against her? Not to mention the little fact that the love of her life has forgotten who the hell she is? Have you?”
I sipped my tea and wished I was anywhere else but here as Amelia stared at him in an appalled silence that seemed to ring around the room. Kai opened his mouth to say something but Lucas pointed at him.
“Don't you fucking dare,” he growled and Kai's mouth snapped shut. “Corvus can spend the rest of the night on his own and contemplate how he's going to fit in with this family and his Master.” Lucas held his hand out to me. “Come on, Jéhenne,” he said, his voice gentle. I put the unfinished tea down and took his hand, grateful for an excuse to escape everyone as he pulled me from the room.
“Selfish bastards,” he muttered as I followed him up the stairs.
“They miss him too, Lucas,” I said in their defence. “They're just excited.”
He snorted and shook his head as he opened my bedroom door. I glanced at my bed and suddenly realised how tired I was. It looked really inviting. I smothered a yawn and Lucas tutted at me.
“There, see. I knew you were exhausted.”
I laughed. “Oh go on, now tell me I look like crap.”
He tutted and gave me a pained expression. “As if I would.”
I sat down on the bed and started to unlace my boots, but he knelt down on the floor in front of me, pushing my hands away and taking over. “Is there anything you need?” he asked. “Are you hungry ... For food I mean,” he added quickly.
“No.” I shook my head. “No food.”
He nodded and got to his feet. “OK, well I guess I should let you get some rest.” He began to turn away, and I reached out, catching hold of his arm.
“Lucas ...” I blushed, feeling ridiculously awkward. “Would you ... I--I need ...”
He raised an eyebrow. “You want to drink from me?”
I nodded, the blush increasing, and he chuckled.
“I can't believe this still embarrasses you.”
I shrugged. “You always said I was a prude.”
He shook his head and shoved his hands in his pockets. “No,” he said, his voice quiet. “I was wrong. You just hate to need people don't you?” I looked away from him. His eyes held too much concern for me to keep my composure. “You feel like you should be able to conquer the world all by yourself and if you ask for help somehow you're being weak, or letting someone down.” I didn't reply, too embarrassed already to say anything more. “Get ready for bed then,” he said.
I headed to the bathroom and cleaned my teeth and came back to find the room in darkness. I got into bed in my undies and felt the bed dip as Lucas lay beside me on top of the covers. He shifted so that I didn't have to touch him as I fed, and I hesitated.
“Lucas ...”
“Yes?”
I felt the words in my mouth, hearing them in my head but taking a greater effort than I would have imagined to force them out. “Hold me ... Please.”
There was a pause and then I felt him move closer, just the sheet between us as his body lay flush against my back. His arms came around me, and I was enveloped in the familiarity of the family, of belonging, of being safe. I sighed in relief until his teeth cut into his flesh and the scent of his blood chased away every other thought as I brought his wrist to my mouth.
I heard him catch his breath, stifling the moan of pleasure that I knew he was trying to hide as his body shifted slightly away from me. I smiled inwardly at his new-found discretion and lost myself in the pleasure of his blood, taking far more than I usually did. I was so tired of heartache and pain, of aching for Corvus and being alone. This at least was an escape, no matter how fleeting.
Finally sated, I became aware of Lucas breathing hard, his breath coming fast against my neck as I released his wrist.
“You OK?” I asked, feeling more awkward than ever.
“Uh huh,” he replied, his voice shaky.
It occurred to me to wonder who he fed from and if maybe I'd taken too much. “Do you need to feed, Lucas?” I asked, feeling concerned all of a sudden that I'd been selfish. I pulled my hair away from my neck, figuring it was only fair to reciprocate if he was starving because I'
d been greedy. “If ... If you need to ...” I stuttered. “You can.”
“Oh gods, Jéhenne,” he groaned from behind me.
“What?”
I turned and could see his fangs and his eyes that had bled to black.
I swallowed as I realised he did want to. He really wanted to. But that wasn't all he wanted.
“Oh.”
“Go to sleep,” he said, sounding as though he was gritting his teeth.
I raised my eyebrows at him.
“Don't worry, I'll behave, I swear ... Only ...”
“What?”
“Just cover your neck up and go to sleep for the love of the gods.”
“Uh, OK. Goodnight, Lucas.”
“Goodnight, Jéhenne.”
For a moment I just lay there, listening to him trying to steady his breathing and wondering how the hell I could go to sleep. But it was warm, and his arms were still around me, and the feeling of being safe persisted ... And so I slept.
Chapter 22
I lay awake in the darkness, memories filtering through my mind. My sleep had been short-lived as dreams chased me back to consciousness. Hundreds of precious images, as bright as the sun sparkling on water. Snatches of laughter and the glittering brilliance of blue eyes in the moonlight. Memories of the morning I had shown him the sunrise for the first time in centuries. I closed my eyes against the darkness of the room. I felt like the dark had a weight to it tonight, pushing against my chest like it would press down and crush me to nothing. It would be dawn soon, I reassured myself, just a little longer. But the problems wouldn't dissolve in the sunlight. It would just mean that Corvus would be asleep, and I could go back to pretending there was a chance to regain everything I'd lost. It was easier to believe when I wasn't looking at him and seeing that disdainful, uncaring look in his eyes.
“Stop thinking so hard,” Lucas grumbled, his voice pitched low in the still of the room.
I snorted. “I would if I could.”
He propped himself up on one elbow, leaning over me.
“Want me to help you?”
“Yes. Yes, please.” It had sounded rather more desperate than I'd meant it to, but it was a wasted effort trying to hide anything from Lucas anyway.
“You'll have to let me, Jéhenne. You're Master now. I can't command you unless you allow it.”
“OK.” I forced myself to relax and found the glint of his eyes in the dark.
“Go to sleep, Jéhenne.”
I allowed his words to wash over me, to steal into my mind and take over all the pointless thoughts that were turning around in dizzying circles until sleep tugged at my consciousness. My eyelids grew heavy, and I sighed, slipping into the dream as Lucas pressed a soft kiss against my mouth.
“Sweet dreams, Jéhenne,” he murmured against my lips as I drifted into sleep.
***
His hand was hard on mine as he tugged me across the rutted field, stumbling in his wake on the uneven ground.
“I can't believe you are so bloody stubborn,” he shouted once we were out of earshot of the small holding.
“She would have died!” I objected, trying to dig my heels in and pull against his hand to no avail.
He turned on me, and I could see the terror in his eyes, the fear that someone who mattered would come to hear about me. “She and thousands of others, Jéhnina! What will you do, try and save every child in the Empire with witchcraft? How long before the whole world knows? How long before they come for you?”
He let go of my hand and turned away, untying his horse so that I wouldn't be able to see just how frightened he was.
“She was just a baby, Corvus,” I said, my voice soft. “Surely you can't believe I would let her die when I could help her?”
He spun around and grabbed my shoulders, his hands grasping so hard they hurt. “How do you think I felt when I heard you'd gone to heal a child and saw the suspicious look in my friend's eyes? When I see my men make the sign to ward off witchcraft at the sound of your name?” He shook me, fury and fear vying for supremacy in his expression. “What will I do if they take you from me? How will I live?” His voice cracked, and I was pulled into a fierce embrace. He said nothing for a while, just held me with his face buried in my hair. “It terrifies me,” he said, his voice bleak. “The idea that I'll lose you, that I'll be left here alone ... without you.”
I looked up at him, wanting to reassure him that I would never let that happen, but I - of all people - knew that I couldn't.
“What will I do, Jéhnina?” he asked with desperation in his eyes, knowing he might not be able to keep me safe, knowing I would never stop ... because I couldn't.
I reached up and touched his mouth with my fingertips. “Wait for me, my love,” I whispered. “As I will wait for you.”
***
I moved around the bedroom as quietly as I could. The dawn had broken, and I couldn't stay in bed any longer. The dream clung to me, an ache that burned in my chest and wouldn't let me be. But I knew if Lucas realised where I was going, he'd stop me or worse, he’d want to come too.
The daytime guards were ghouls, and they nodded at me, stepping to one side to let me in. The room was still lit, the lights dimmed, and I almost laughed as the heat hit me. It was early summer and the nights were warm, but he had still lit the fire. At least that much remained the same. The embers glowed, brilliant with heat, and I felt like the weight in my chest burned with them, searing me inside as I saw the figure asleep on the bed. I swallowed and walked over to him.
I hoped that the cuffs were draining his powers enough that he could no longer wake during the day, but either way, I'd had to come. If he woke, I'd think of something. But I had to see him.
I sat on the edge of the bed, my heart leaping as he stirred a little but didn't wake. He was turned on his side, facing away from me, and I could see his profile, the sweep of thick eyelashes, the strong jawline. The covers had fallen from his shoulders, and the crow tattoo was visible, one eye regarding me with curiosity. I reached out a hand and touched my fingertips to the bird's head, feeling a wave of emotion as I felt his skin beneath my hands once more. He was cool, not cold, but not warm either. He would need to feed soon. The crow closed his eyes, blissful under my touch, and I felt a lump in my throat. I had shared this bond with him once, had borne the marks of our marriage on my skin. With sorrow I remembered how angry and frightened I'd been when he'd first explained what they were. If only my powers extended to turning back time. There was so much I would change.
I reached up my hand a little higher and touched his hair, remembering how I had loved to tangle my fingers in it, the feel of burying my hands in the softness of it when I pulled his head down for a kiss. I stroked the long strands that shifted like spun gold in the warm light of the room, the desire to crawl into bed beside him so overwhelming that I had to breathe deeply to make myself get a grip.
He turned in his sleep, and I caught my breath as my hand became trapped beneath the weight of his shoulder. I waited a moment, until I was sure he was settled, and slowly began to pull my hand away. He stirred and moved again, turning on his side towards me this time. I moved my hand away, but the sight of his face, peaceful in sleep and so cruelly familiar sent pain blazing through me. I blinked back tears that blurred my vision and reached out, putting my hand to his cheek.
“I can't bear it,” I whispered. “I can't. Having you so close to me ... And so very far away.” I leaned down and kissed his cheek, my tears falling on his skin. “How did you do it? You were alone for such a very long time. How did you survive?” I stroked his cheek, overwhelmed by the love in my heart for this man. I had no choice but to be strong, to endure it as he had. So I would. I took a breath and pulled the covers up over him and left him to sleep, alone.
***
The wolves were waiting for me, their call drawing me outside, and I felt the ache in my heart ease just a little as they jostled around me. The Alpha, a huge beast, pushed forward, and I crouched down t
o give him his due, his mournful eyes on mine, unblinking. I gasped as his name filtered into my mind. “Leonidas.”
He huffed, pleased with me, and I smiled, rubbing his ears. “Hey, my lion,” I said softly. Well it was a small thing but perhaps a good sign? I knew these wolves had always been with me, before I had made my first journey into the mortal world. Perhaps the powers I had lost would return to me soon?
I looked up at the sound of a car approaching, and the wolves scattered, running back into the woodlands while I waited.
The battered old Citroen drew up, and Inés got out, fighting a little with the minuscule denim skirt she was wearing as she stood up. “Bonjour,” she said with a grin, and I realised how pleased I was to see her. We'd not really had a chance to speak much since we got back, and I was surprised at how much I'd missed her. We'd had our ups and downs, but somehow we'd always come through together. We were family. I clung to that thought. It was still true. No matter what Hekatê said about who I really was, I still shared flesh and blood with this woman, with Cain, with my family.
She walked over to me, a strange gleam in her eyes. She looked triumphant. If I didn't know better, I'd have said she looked proud of me. She drew near and stopped, taking hold of my arms and looking at me with those fierce green eyes.
“Alors, Nina,” she said, looking me up and down with a shake of her head. “I always knew you were special but a goddess?” She let out a breath and then laughed as I frowned at her. “What? You didn't seriously think Cain could keep that to himself for long, surely? He looked like he was going to burst with pride.”
I frowned harder. “He did?” I tried hard to picture Cain looking anything of the sort, but my imagination failed me.
The incredulity in my face must have been a picture as she laughed again. “Of course he did. Oh, you little fool. Don't you know how proud we all are of you?” To my astonishment she hauled me into a hug and for once I understood how Cain felt as I stood in stunned silence.
“Uh, thanks,” I mumbled. “I'm still the same though, I mean ...” I paused looking nervously at the excitement in her eyes. “You get that, right?”
The Fires of Tartarus Page 17
