“You remember me?” I asked, hardly daring to believe it could be true after hearing how much he wanted to be free of me.
He gave a choked sounding laugh of disbelief. “I remember you above all things.”
“And you still want me?” I asked, wondering if I really wanted to hear the answer. “You don't want to run away?”
His face darkened. “I beg you to forget those words ever left my lips, though I will never forgive myself for saying them, for lying like that. It was never true. Not even then.”
Something inside of me seemed to ease at that. The part of me that feared he would always regret loving me ... “What else?” I asked, taking a tentative step closer. “What do you remember?”
“That I love you,” he said simply and with such sincerity that I began to tremble. “That I have loved you all my life, since before this one even began, and I will never stop.” He reached into his pocket and withdrew my bracelet. The little ruby eyes glinted as brightly as ever, apparently none the worse for their fiery ordeal.
I felt tears prickle in my eyes and wanted to reach for it, but I couldn't seem to move or speak, my throat too tight. He was watching me closely, fear in his eyes, as though he believed I would reject him, but if I spoke I knew I would crumble.
“Tell me what you want me to say, Jéhenne,” he pleaded, his voice desperate. “I would do anything ... I would endure Tartarus all over ...”
“Stop!” I held my hand out, unwilling for him to even say the words.
He looked stricken, clearly thinking I didn't believe him, but as I went to reassure him he rushed on, sounding frantic. “I will prove it to you, my heart, I swear it. Even if it takes another two thousand years.”
I laughed, looking up at him, hardly able to find enough breath to keep going let alone speak. He was so close now, close enough for me to reach out and touch him. “There's really no point in looking so contrite,” I managed through my tears. “We both know I can't possibly hold out that long.”
I was in his arms before the last word had left my lips, his mouth on mine with desperate, greedy kisses like we were drowning and gasping for air. I pulled him as close as I could, holding on so tightly as my heart felt full enough to burst, overwhelmed with love and pain, hope and regret. I sank my hands into his soft blond hair and cried quietly as his mouth left mine, and he trailed kisses over my face, murmuring soft words. I just clung to him, praying it was for real.
“How can you ever forgive me?” he asked, his voice harsh. “For I will never forgive myself for all I have done to you.”
I wiped my eyes and tried to be honest with myself. At this moment I was overwhelmed with such relief and love for him, but once the initial euphoria was over, there would always be his betrayal. Could I forgive that? “Did it have to be Cyd?” I demanded, feeling pain like broken glass in my heart as I remembered them together.
He gaped at me. “I almost killed you! I nearly tore your throat out and that's what you focus on?”
“Yes!” I shouted, hitting him with fury. “You fucked her, and how many others?” Suddenly all the pent up rage and hurt bubbled up, and flames exploded at my wrists. “How many?” I cried. “How many times do I need to forgive you?”
He grabbed my wrists, holding me off despite the fact the flames were searing his skin. “I didn't!” he shouted, shaking me until I would listen to reason. “I didn't touch her, nor any of the others.”
I stilled, looking at him in shock, too bewildered to comprehend what he was saying.
“But I saw you ...”
He shook his head. “Jéhenne, you must understand I wasn't ... whole,” he said, sounding more mortified than I'd ever known him. “Cyd came to me. She threw herself at me. She was angry with you, she wanted to hurt you, we ... we both did. But in the end ... we couldn't. It wasn't right and we knew it. When it came down to it, we both love you too much. I know Cyd regrets what she did very deeply.” He let me go, and I snatched my wrists away from him, walking away a little. I took a breath and turned back to him, hardly daring to hope. “And the others?” He at least had the grace to look uncomfortable, but he didn't answer. “Well?” I demanded. “Answer the damn question.”
I saw a sudden flash of intense anger in his eyes, it was too reminiscent of the man I had come to know in recent days, and I pushed down a flutter of alarm. He turned away from me, tension in his body, and his voice was full of restrained fury and frustration. “I didn't know who I was, Jéhenne. I was lost and ... so confused. I knew I belonged to you, but there was something about our connection that wasn't right, and I didn't know what. I needed you so badly, longed for you ...” he said, biting the words out. “But that longing, that desperate need frightened me. It was like I didn't exist if you weren't there. I wanted to know that you needed me too, just as badly.” He paused and let out a breath, and I could see he was working this out in his own mind, making sense of the past weeks. “I didn't know how to act around you, what I even wanted from you. I felt more like your slave than your progeny, and I couldn't cope with it.” His voice rose, and I could feel his anger rolling over me. “In the end I tried to prove to myself that I was wrong, that you were just my Master and nothing more. Those girls ...” I felt the resentful wave of embarrassment that rolled over him as he tried to explain. He turned back to me and looked me in the eyes. “I couldn't do it. I didn't know why, but no matter how beautiful the girl, no matter how much I wanted to get you out of my head I just ... couldn't. It made me angry, Jéhenne. It was ... humiliating.”
He was telling the truth. It had cost him to reveal that, had dented his ego. I knew Corvus only too well, and I knew his pride would never allow him to say such a thing if it wasn't true.
“But the girls said ...” I pressed, needing to kill any lingering doubt between us.
“I made them believe it!” he shouted, sounding furious as his anger prickled over my skin. “How do you think it made me feel? When I couldn't ...” He snapped his mouth shut, and I covered mine with my hand to smother a smile. “It isn't funny,” he growled, sounding dangerously angry, but I was beyond relieved and a bubble of laughter escaped me.
“Jéhenne,” he said, a clear warning in his tone, but it was too late.
I laughed and laughed until tears ran down my face, and suddenly I was pressed up against the wall, his body flush against mine and illustrating quite perfectly that he was no longer experiencing the slightest difficulty. I gasped and arched into him.
“Oh, gods,” he murmured. What followed was a blur of ripping fabric and curses, teeth and lips and hands as we snatched at each other. Desperation made us greedy and impatient and less than tender while too many clothes impeded us. He threw me down on the bed and then stood looking down at me, gloriously naked. I drank in the sight of him, my heart attempting to beat its way out of my chest with joy, so full of love I didn't know how my ribs could contain the emotion.
He came to the bed, anticipation burning between us as he lay beside me, one finger touching my skin, trailing from my neck to my navel, slowly now, savouring the moment, his gaze following the path his finger drew before returning to my eyes. He cupped my face, and I knew his awed expression exactly mirrored my own.
“I am perfectly sure that I forbade you to come after me,” he said, his voice low and heavy with emotion.
I smiled, feeling tears spilling over. “But you know how bad I am at following instructions, Corvus.”
“You risked everything, Jéhenne,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “Everything ... for me.”
“And I would do it again and again,” I said fiercely. “That will never change.”
He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again they were glittering just as brightly as I knew my own were. “The man I was when I returned ...”
I shook my head and went to silence him, but he pressed a finger to my lips. “That man ... he is still a part of me. I ... I do not have the control I once did. But I swear I will regain it, and in the meantime
I will try and keep him at bay, and you can be assured of one thing. He is still as much your slave as I have ever been.” His hand moved to lay over my chest, and he smiled as he felt the steady thump beneath his palm. “My heart.”
Chapter 54
I could barely breathe, feeling his big hand resting over my heart.
“Such a pretty sound,” he said, a wicked look in his eyes. I could see the dangerous glint in that beautiful blue, the faint glimmer of the man who had tried to kill me. And yet I knew I could trust him. I reached out and touched his mouth, and he bit at my finger, piercing the skin. A tiny drop of blood welled, and he drew it into his mouth and sucked.
Desire exploded, heat pooling inside me as I coiled against him, legs and arms pulling him in, pulling him closer.
“You will never, ever leave me again,” I said against his skin, making the words a command with all the force I had, even though I knew he was far beyond my control now.
He laughed, the sound rumbling through his chest into mine. “Do you still not understand the power you have over me, my heart?” he murmured, and I gasped as he continued to move while he spoke, tilting my hips, moving into place, to where he alone had ever belonged. “You need utter no such command. I will be forever at your feet, or trailing behind you like a lamb.”
I laughed at the incongruousness of the image, the idea of Corvus in such a manner was simply unthinkable, and he knew it. “A lamb with very sharp teeth,” I teased, sliding my leg high over his back, arching towards him, encouraging him in.
Those teeth grazed my neck and I drew in a breath.
“Always,” he breathed against my skin as he pushed into me.
I cried out as he joined us, together at last, after so much heartache, and I clung to him. My hands traced over his skin, marking every familiar path with my touch, remembering the feel of him, the taste of him, the way it felt to be loved by him. I had felt empty and hollow since the day he had sacrificed himself for me, a great part of me torn away that could never be replaced by another. But now we were both whole again, each of us completing the other as I felt him moving inside me. A pleasure like no other: to be safe in his arms again. I felt the warmth of our bond spreading over me, coiling around my wrists and ankles and neck as the connection between us grew, and I was marked with his power, marked as his and his alone, for eternity. What had been broken was mended at last, and when I heard him cry his pleasure along with me, we chased the past away and welcomed a new beginning.
***
It was daylight. I could feel the sun in my mind, high in the sky. After noon then. I gave a big, satisfied sigh of contentment. My bones were heavy and lethargic, and I was sated, replete and ridiculously happy.
“You did miss me then?” murmured a teasing voice beside me.
I chuckled and cracked open a weary eyelid. “You mean to say you've woken up just to fish for compliments?”
Corvus gave me a wounded expression in return. “Who me?”
I moved closer to him and felt his arms tighten around me. “I may be your heart, but you always forget that you carry mine too, wherever you go.” I looked up at him, serious now. “I can't be whole if such a large piece of me is missing.”
He reached out and coiled my hair around his finger, tugging a little.
“Then let's not allow anything ... or anyone to come between us again.” His voice held a hard edge, and I knew what he was saying. I nodded, feeling anxiety prickle under my skin. I was quiet for a moment, not wanting to say it aloud but needing things to be clear.
“You'll ... free him though, won't you? He'll make a good Master.” I hesitated. “He ...”
“No!”
I jolted, shocked by the anger in his voice. His jaw clenched, and he took a breath, clearly making a heroic effort to keep his temper in check. “We will not speak of this, of him. Not ever, Jéhenne.”
I swallowed, not knowing what to say. He looked at me and his face softened. “Forgive me, but I cannot think about it. I do not want to know what happened between you ...”
“But we never ...” I blurted out and watched his face darken once more.
“And I thank the gods for it, or I would kill him without a second thought,” he growled. I fell silent, not sure what to do in the face of his jealousy, knowing how I had felt myself when I'd thought him unfaithful. I lay against him, hearing my heart pounding in my ears and praying we weren't going to fight, not already. We were silent for a while, and when he spoke next his voice was measured. “He deserves to be released. To become his own Master. Of course I know that,” he said, sounding like he hated it just as much. “He supported you when I couldn't and I know ...” His words were clipped and forced, and I knew it wouldn't take much for his rage to push him out of control. “I know I owe him thanks for much of what he did but ...” He took a breath, and I ran my hand over his chest, finding his body rigid with tension.
I kept my mouth shut and waited for him to work it through. “I know he loves you, Jéhenne. I knew it before I left you. I knew he would take care of you and it was a comfort to me ... in a way.” He moved suddenly, his big body pining me down, making it hard to breath. “But I am back now, and I cannot have him here, cannot even look at him without wanting to rip his fucking head off for touching what is mine!” I gasped, taken aback by the force of his anger. “You understand?”
I nodded. I understood. Loud and clear. If Lucas was to live, he needed to get out. Now.
“You will speak to him tonight, thank him ... if you must. And say goodbye.” His voice was hard, implacable, and I knew there would be no negotiating this, not for a while at least. It would take some time for the edges of that hurt to be smoothed away. At least time was something we now had.
“OK,” I said, my heart heavy as I realised I would have to tell Lucas to leave. I doubted if it would come as a surprise to him.
“And, Jéhenne.”
I looked back up into those eyes, seeing that angry man lurking just behind the surface. “Don't come to me with even the trace of his scent upon you or he will not reach the gates alive.”
I reached up and stroked his jaw, feeling the prickle of stubble beneath my fingertips. “Corvus,” I said, my voice soft. “You know I have loved no one but you for an eternity, what more do you want?”
He growled and buried his face in my neck. “Everything, all you have, all you are, forever, for me and me alone.”
“Done,” I whispered and sighed with pleasure as his teeth pierced my skin.
***
I sat up in our bed, holding a hand mirror and turning it this way and that, admiring the colourful feather tattoos that fluttered around my neck, dipping down into the valley between my breasts. They matched those around my ankles and wrists and announced to the world that we were indeed, married, bound by blood ... and so much more.
Corvus was leaning back against the headboard looking smug and very pleased with himself, as well he might.
“I think they are even more beautiful this time,” he said, moving forward and tracing the outline of a peacock blue feather with his finger. I smiled up at him, not able to get enough of looking at his wonderful face. We had barely slept, too delighted with each other and too afraid it was a dream that would be snatched away from us if we dared to close our eyes for a moment. I figured it would be a long while before the preciousness of our lives together could regain any sense of normality. But I was in no hurry.
“Turn around,” I said, and he did as I asked so I could reacquaint myself with the intricate crow tattoo across his back and shoulders. The crow squawked silently and preened as I ran my hand over its feathers. They gleamed like petrol now, a shimmering blue-black as the bird shook out his big wings, showing off for me. “I think you're right,” I replied, leaning forwards against his back, my arms circling around his neck. I felt him sigh and knew he didn't want to get up any more than I did, but the family were eager to see us. There were murmurs about a celebration, though frankly after the past few
days I just wanted to stay in bed with my man and let everyone else do what the hell they wanted.
“Do we have to?” I groaned.
He chuckled. “Don't give me that, you're Master too. You know as well as I do what the responsibilities of that title impose upon us.”
“Doesn't mean I'm not going to sulk about it though.”
“Good,” he said, turning around so he could kiss me. “You're adorable when you sulk.”
“I am?” I raised my eyebrows in surprise. “I thought I was a pain in the arse.”
“That too.” He nodded with mischief. “But we're still in the honeymoon phase, so I'll let it go.”
I went to hit him, but he ducked away, laughing. “Come on, you wanton woman. I'm barely recovered from a trip to hell. Your insatiable demands will just have to be put on hold, for a couple of hours at least.”
He walked away from me, and I looked him over, standing in the middle of our room, stark naked, the light of the fire casting warm shadows over his body, burnishing the ivory of his skin like sunlight on snow. I snorted in amusement at his idea of barely recovered. Tall, broad-shouldered and heavily muscular, he exuded sheer power and strength, and just looking at him made me realise a couple of hours really was far, far too long to endure. He looked back at me, catching the look in my eyes and raising an eyebrow before giving a dramatic sigh. “Oh very well.”
***
It was almost three am before we made our way down the stairs, holding hands and looking as starry-eyed as a couple of teenagers. I guessed I could get away with that, physically at least. I couldn't stop touching him, as though I needed to keep reassuring myself he was real, that he was really here with me. I kept doing a mental check list, trying to figure out if there was anyone left with a burning desire to tear us apart; Tacitus, Dis Pater, Ambrogio ... all gone. Were we finally free?
The Fires of Tartarus Page 44
