A Christmas Spirit of Forgiveness

by Carolynn Carey

  Except—if he was honest with himself—somehow, she actually was the most enticing female he’d ever met even though he couldn’t truthfully describe her as being the most beautiful or the most alluring. All of which made no sense and was beginning to give Phillip a headache. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Rachel coming toward him.

  She had changed out of her traveling clothes and into a soft blue woolen gown with long sleeves. It was hard to believe his little sister was a widow now. In his imagination, she was still a pesky little creature who was forever asking him to play dolls with her. His being two years older than her had given him the maturity to understand, upon the death of their mother, that neither of them was wanted or loved by anyone left alive.

  So he’d watched out for her as best he could until the day their Great-Aunt Gertrude had died and their father had traveled from London to Ashworth to deal with them again. He’d sent Phillip away to school and had taken Rachel to London and placed her under the care of a governess.

  Phillip supposed in some ways, they’d both been better off. He’d enjoyed school and made a score of friends, and Rachel had reported that she loved her governess and enjoyed their lessons. She learned to play the pianoforte, to sing, to do needlework and, as she matured and blossomed, she became one of the most sought-after debutantes of her Season.

  In the meantime, he and Rachel had drifted apart except for their annual excursions to Ashworth at Christmas. That was a tradition Rachel refused to let die. But during the remainder of the year, she had her set of friends in London and Phillip managed to stay away from the city—and hence his father—by visiting friends in various parts of England.

  Of course he’d returned to London for Rachel’s wedding and had been disturbed to find her marrying a much older man. He was fairly certain he could detect his father’s machinations in Rachel’s choice of groom but he had arrived too late on the scene to change Rachel’s mind.

  Then, a few months later, tragedy struck. His and Rachel’s father and their half brother, Jack, were killed in a carriage accident. Whispers amongst the ton reported that the two were racing from London to Brighton on a bet of several hundred pounds when their carriage overturned.

  But the reasons didn’t matter to Phillip. He knew only that he’d suddenly been catapulted into the earldom, a position he’d never wanted and certainly hadn’t been prepared for. Sadly, his carefree lifestyle was at an end.

  After he and Rachel buried their father and half brother, Rachel stayed on with Phillip for a few weeks to help him sort through their father’s affairs, and the two soon established a camaraderie that reminded Phillip of their childhood. When Rachel went back to her husband and her home in Lincolnshire, Phillip missed her terribly and soon began looking forward to their Christmas pilgrimages to Ashworth even though he didn’t understand her desire to go there.

  This year had turned out to be especially difficult, he reflected while stirring the grayish concoction in the pot. But he was thrilled they’d made the trip. He was now determined to help any of the people in the neighborhood who would accept his help. Obviously, Mrs. Cauldwell was one who would.

  Mrs. Cauldwell! He hadn’t given her a thought since having James carry her to her room. He turned toward Rachel. “Has anyone checked on Mrs. Cauldwell?”

  His sister smiled. “I have just come from her chamber and she is fine. She said she’s much too old to be bothered by the illnesses that tend to strike young people. I threw another log on the fire in her fireplace and promised to bring her something to eat as soon as possible.”

  “Well, I don’t know what’s in this pot but if it’s edible, she’s welcome to it.”

  Apparently, Miss Anna had finished unloading the oven because she stepped to his other side and took the spoon from his hand. “It’s porridge and knowing Mrs. Cauldwell as I do, I’m sure she would love a serving. Cook was making it for our invalids so they’ll have something filling but bland when they feel like eating again. I’ll just fix Mrs. Cauldwell a bowl and sweeten it with honey. That and some bread and cheese should suit her very well for supper tonight.”

  “I don’t wish to appear demanding, Miss Anna, but I’m hoping Cook had more than porridge on the stove before she became ill. Although I won’t complain if I must settle for some of that warm bread and cheese.”

  “I think I can do better than that, my lord. If you’ll give me half an hour, I’ll warm the dishes Cook had already finished and have them waiting for us in the dining room.”

  “In that case, I’ll go to my chamber and clean up. I fear the smell of the stables would not make an enjoyable dining companion for you and my sister.”

  “That’s an excellent idea, brother.” Rachel smiled and turned to Miss Anna. “In the meantime, is there anything I can do to help?”

  “Perhaps you wouldn’t mind taking Mrs. Cauldwell her supper while I finish up here.”

  “I’ll be happy to. If you’ll tell me where the honey’s stored, I’ll fetch that for you too.”

  Phillip walked to the kitchen door and then paused to look back at Miss Anna and his sister. They made a pretty pair, chatting and laughing as they worked together to prepare a tray for Mrs. Cauldwell. He couldn’t recall seeing Rachel that relaxed in years and he smiled to himself, then wondered why he was so inordinately pleased that his sister and this girl he barely knew appeared to be on such friendly terms.

  “It’s been a strange couple of days,” he murmured to himself as he headed toward his chamber to change into clothes that didn’t smell like horse manure.

  Supper was served in the small dining room and the food, although plain by his usual standards, tasted better than anything Phillip had eaten in years. He wasn’t sure whether it was because he had worked up such an enormous appetite or because Miss Anna had helped prepare the dishes. He couldn’t explain his feelings for Anna but he was certain about one thing—he wanted to get to know her better.

  After the meal was over and they had made a final check on those who had been ill, Phillip suggested he and the ladies retire to the drawing room for some conversation before turning in for the evening.

  Anna looked surprised by the invitation but she agreed, as did Rachel. Phillip escorted the two women down the hall and into the drawing room where a fire burned in the fireplace and a pot of hot tea sat on the table. Obviously, Gunther had anticipated his desires.

  Phillip led his sister and Anna to chairs near the fire, then took a seat facing them. The conversation quite naturally veered toward the happenings of the day, especially the illness that had struck so many of the servants. Anna expressed the belief that it would soon run its course, based on her experiences in the past. Both Phillip and Rachel thanked her profusely for her aid, but she colored up and waved their thanks away.

  Rachel then asked how Anna’s great-aunt Cora had learned about medicines, and Anna explained that her mother’s aunt had once been engaged but that her fiancé had died of a putrid fever and no one had been able to help him. She’d then devoted herself to the study of herbs and their medicinal qualities, reading widely across cultures and experimenting until she’d found various recipes for potions that reduced fevers, helped cure coughs, and drew the infections from wounds. Over the years she’d become known in the neighborhood as a healer, and everyone revered her.

  Phillip noticed his sister blinking back tears. “How sad that your aunt lost her fiancé and how wonderful that she turned that loss into a boon for others.”

  Phillip said nothing, merely watching as a rosy blush colored Anna’s cheeks. The blush warmed her skin and enhanced her already beautiful glow. He was convinced he’d never seen a more beautiful creature. He longed to be alone with her, to have time to explore what he hoped was a mutual attraction.

  Unfortunately, he was aware that as her host, he must behave responsibly, which meant he must take extra care of Anna’s reputation. He could not go out of his way to be alone with her.

  Rachel stood and then smiled at An
na. “I’ve had rather a long day and wish to seek my bed now. Are you ready to go up?”

  “I am.” Anna also stood.

  Phillip followed suit, bowing to both ladies. “I wish you both a good night’s rest.”

  Anna dropped him a quick curtsy. “Thank you, my lord. And the same to you.” She turned and preceded Rachel to the door, then waited while Rachel gave Phillip a quick kiss on the cheek. Both ladies lit a candle to light the way to their bedrooms and stepped into the hallway.

  Left alone, Phillip walked over to the sideboard where he poured himself a brandy before taking a seat in front of the fire and propping his feet up on the footstool. And as he stared into the flames, it occurred to him that Christmas was now just a few days away. As soon as the servants were recovered, he’d set them to helping prepare for the celebration of Christ’s birth.

  There was greenery to fetch from the forest, ingredients to obtain for the Christmas meal and the wassail bowl, gifts to buy for Boxing Day, and the Yule Log to find. In short, there were many chores to do and little time in which to accomplish them.

  He sat making mental lists until the fire burned down and the room began to chill. It never occurred to him that he had never before been even remotely interested in preparing for Christmas.

  Chapter 6

  Before she climbed into bed that evening, Anna slipped back downstairs to check the sickrooms. She was delighted to discover everyone resting peacefully, and she felt certain that all who had been sick would feel well enough tomorrow to move back to their own quarters. In addition, no one else had fallen ill, so she had reason to hope that the sickness had run its course.

  After she had returned to her chamber and changed into the nightclothes Betsy had found for her, she thought back on the events of the day and was especially thankful for the assistance she’d received from Rachel and Lord Ashington. They had pitched in to help just as though they were servants rather than peers, and neither had complained about the work.

  And when she’d joined them in the drawing room after their meal, both Rachel and the earl made her feel completely at ease. Her feelings toward Lord Ashington surprised her. Not only was he the most handsome gentleman of her acquaintance, but he was also far from being the haughty aristocrat she’d expected him to be.

  In fact, he was quite the opposite of everything she had anticipated based on reports from his neighbors. He was neither disagreeable nor did he exhibit the least degree of selfishness such as people had attributed to him. Anna was now convinced that the antipathy between him and his neighbors was based more on perceptions than on reality.

  Having reached that conclusion, Anna climbed into bed, fluffed her pillow and turned onto her side, which was her favorite position for going to sleep. While she’d assumed her lengthy rest from earlier in the day would keep her awake tonight, she soon began yawning, and sleep followed rather quickly.

  The dream occurred much later, sometime during the early morning hours.

  The day was warm and sunny, which meant that Anna had embarked on one of her usual jaunts into the forest. Suddenly giant snowflakes started falling out of the clear blue sky. In her dream Anna wasn’t overly surprised, although she couldn’t help wondering whether the snow would stick to the warm ground. When she looked around to see if the snow was sticking, she spotted the beautiful woman in red standing beside a large holly bush covered in red berries.

  “Do you always bring snow?” Anna asked the woman.

  The woman merely smiled and pointed at the holly bush. Then she pointed toward the top of a nearby oak, and when Anna looked up, she saw mistletoe hanging in the branches.

  “You want me to use the holly and mistletoe for something?” Anna asked.

  The lady nodded.

  “But those are evergreens for decorating at Christmas and it’s spring now,” Anna objected.

  The woman waved her arm in a wide, sweeping circle, indicating that Anna should look at the countryside. When she did, she discovered that the spring landscape had changed to winter. She also found that Lord Ashington had appeared, standing off to one side and watching her with such tenderness in his gaze that her entire body warmed. Amazed, she turned to the woman for an explanation but she had disappeared.

  A soft shuffling noise caused Anna to sit up in her bed, her heart suddenly thundering in her chest. The dream faded and in place of the beautiful woman in red stood Betsy, holding a cup and saucer in one hand and a plate in the other.

  “I’m sorry if I woke you, Miss Anna, but it’s going on nine o’clock and Cook wanted me to bring you this hot chocolate and a warm scone she just took out of the oven.” Scooting her feet along the floor to maintain her balance, Betsy eased over to the bedside table and set the dishes down.

  Anna stretched and then smiled. “It’s time I was getting up anyway. How is everyone this morning?”

  “So far, everybody is doing fine,” Betsy responded.

  “I certainly hope that continues.” Anna yawned, then scooted to the side of the bed so she could reach the hot chocolate. The beverage was warm and rich and stimulating, just what she needed to help her chase the last remnants of the dream away.

  A soft knock on the door preceded Rachel pushing the door open enough to stick her head inside. When she saw Anna, she smiled and stepped fully into the room. A dress was draped over her arm.

  “Good morning, Anna. I wasn’t sure you’d be awake yet but I’m pleased you are. I hope you don’t mind my stopping by your chamber so early.”

  Anna reached for the robe lying on the end of the bed and slipped her arms into it. She stood and turned to Rachel. “Good morning. I’m glad you stopped by because I wanted to thank you for the loan of the nightgown, robe, and slippers I’ve been using. Betsy told me you left them here last Christmas.”

  “You’re most welcome. I’m glad you and I are so near the same size. Which leads into my reason for bothering you before breakfast.” She held up the dress, a dark burgundy with long sleeves, a high neckline and a white collar trimmed with lace. “Since you worked so very hard on our behalf yesterday and since you are stranded here with only the clothes you arrived in, I’m hoping you’ll accept this small token of my appreciation.”

  Anna shook her head. “Thank you, but I really couldn’t.”

  “A loan then,” Rachel said immediately. “I will not allow you to refuse a loan. And while you’re wearing my dress, Betsy can launder yours.”

  Anna bit her lip. She very much wanted to wear that dress, which was the reason she felt she shouldn’t. She wanted to wear the dress to see what Lord Ashington would think of her in it and that was a dangerous path to start down. She liked to think she would have refused if Rachel hadn’t been watching her with such a hopeful expression on her face. She really didn’t want to disappoint this woman who was so sweet and who had been so kind to her. At last she nodded. “I’ll be delighted to borrow your dress. And thank you.”

  Smiling broadly, Rachel laid the dress across the foot of the bed and turned to the maid. “Betsy, dear, would you be so kind as to fetch a fresh pot of chocolate and an extra cup for me?”

  Betsy’s eyes widened for a split second as though she was surprised that Rachel would ask for chocolate so soon before breakfast was to be served, but she gave a quick curtsy. “Yes, my lady. I’ll be back as quick as I can.”

  As soon as Betsy closed the door behind her, Rachel hurried to Anna’s side and sat down on the bed. “Sit with me a minute, Anna.”

  Anna could not imagine why Rachel was behaving as though they were close friends, but she obediently lowered herself onto the bed.

  Rachel reached for her hand and grasped it, then looked into Anna’s eyes. “I sent Betsy away so we might have a moment of privacy. I wanted to tell you, my dear, that I know who you are.”

  Anna jerked her hand out of Rachel’s grasp and jumped to her feet. This was not a conversation she wanted to pursue, but Rachel also stood and again reached for her hand.

  “Please,
Anna, don’t be angry with me. Your cousin Janet is my dearest friend and has told me how sorry she is that you refuse to have anything to do with your father’s family. She said she always adored you and thought you were the most beautiful creature she’d ever seen.”

  Anna opened her mouth to speak and then closed it again. She hardly knew what to say without sounding ungrateful for Rachel’s goodwill. At the same time, she didn’t want to talk about her feelings toward her father’s family. Unfortunately, some response was necessary.

  She forced a smile and held it, although she feared it appeared brittle. “I always liked Cousin Janet, what little I saw of her. She and I were around the same age but we didn’t appear to have a lot in common.”

  “I know the two of you haven’t seen each other since you were children. You were less than ten years old when you came to live with your great-aunt, as I recall.”

  “Around eight years old, actually.”

  “You must feel a great deal of animosity toward the marquess to have turned down his offers to give you a Season.”

  Anna set her teeth as the familiar anger surged through her. “Animosity?” she said, aware that blood was rushing to her face but helpless to stop it. “No, I don’t feel animosity toward my uncle. To feel anything at all toward the man would imbue him with more importance than he deserves. He treated my mother unkindly merely because she preferred my father to him, and if he seeks to make his peace with me to serve as a salve for his conscience, he is doomed to disappointment. I have never forgiven him and I never will.”

  As she talked, Anna had watched the blood drain from Rachel’s face and she regretted having upset her but some topics were better left untouched. She clamped her lips together and closed her eyes. She opened them again when Rachel again grasped her hand.

  “Forgive me, Anna. I wasn’t aware of the depth of your feelings. I will not speak of it again. And you may rest assured that I will tell absolutely no one of your connection to the Marquess of Seaton since that obviously is your wish.”