Reckless (The Mason Family Series Book 3)

by Adriana Locke

  “And you did?”

  “No. But it’s my responsibility. I agreed to take it on.”

  I furrow my brow. “I did too, Jaxi. I signed up too. No one put a gun to my head. And, quite frankly, I think I’m doing a damn good job. If I do say so myself.”

  She laughs softly and shifts her weight on the bed.

  “I have this way of failing people, Boone. I don’t do it intentionally. And I don’t even know if it’s failing people or if it’s just that there’s something about me that makes things fall apart.”

  “I have a hard time believing that.”

  She shrugs. “Then don’t believe it, but it’s true.”

  I move on the bed, turning so that I can see her straight on. She’s watching me with a wariness—a wariness about my reaction to the fact she thinks she’s tainted or some shit—that hurts my heart.

  “What are you talking about?” I ask.

  “I know my stepfather’s alcoholism was not my fault. I know that. But along with the scars that were inflicted on my body—the one on the top of my head or this one,” she says, touching a faint line on her thigh, “there are other bruises that you can’t see with your naked eye.”

  The feistiness that I usually see in her hazel eyes is gone, and I hate what’s taken up shop in its place. It’s a nasty uncertainty that I want to obliterate along with whomever hurt her like this.

  “When you’re told that someone’s addiction, whether it be from alcohol, like Pete, or sex, like Shawn, is your fault because there’s something about you that causes them to need to act out like that—it’s a lot,” she says quietly. “It makes you want to protect anyone that you do like from yourself.”

  She looks away, blinking back tears.

  “Jaxi—”

  I’m silenced by her hand going up in the air in a motion for me to stop.

  “It’s really hard for me to tell you this,” she says. “This is not something I want to talk about, and I’m only telling you now because I feel like you deserve to know me.”

  “I don’t know if I deserve that, Jaxi. But I want to know. I want to know you.”

  A tear falls down her cheek.

  “I was a child with Pete,” she says. “His problems couldn’t have been my fault. And Shawn—I tried my hardest to make him happy. I did it all. But my body’s failure to give him a child made him give up on me—made him seek happiness from someone who could give it to him in a way I couldn’t.”

  “That’s bullshit.”

  I reach for her, but she pulls away.

  I have to remind myself to breathe, that I can’t go find her piece of shit stepfather or this Shawn fuck and drag them both back here by the hair of their fucking head and make them apologize to her.

  “Let me tell you something,” I say, my voice a little harsher than I want it to be. “Those two don’t deserve the power to affect you like this.”

  She wipes a stream of tears off her chin. “I know that. I do. But I can’t sit here and say those things don’t come into my mind when I see you playing with Rosie or flirting with me in the backyard or … holding us while we cry.”

  She pulls her gaze to mine and lets me see all of the emotion buried in them. I didn’t cause this pain. I didn’t hurt her. But fuck it if it doesn’t feel like my responsibility to fix it—to show her, to prove to her, that none of that shit is her fault.

  That she deserves love. That she deserves a love like my dad loves my mom, like Holt gives to Blaire.

  Like I could give her.

  I reach for her again, and this time, I don’t let her pull away.

  I pull her into my chest and try to send the warmth of my soul into hers. I try to repair some of the damage to her heart with the beats of mine.

  She balls my shirt up in her hands and lets me hold her. I rest my chin on top of her head and just let us be.

  This is the feeling Holt was talking about when he went after Blaire. This is the reason Larissa cried so incessantly when she and Hollis split up. This is why Coy was freaking out when Bellamy told him goodbye.

  They were all afraid they’d never have this again.

  I get it now.

  I lower my head to her ear. Before I go through with what I’m about to say, I close my eyes and hope for the best.

  “Jaxi?” I whisper.

  “Yeah?”

  “I want to buy a dog.”

  She pulls back and extricates herself from my arms. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean that I want to buy a dog, and that’s a commitment. They live a long time.”

  Her forehead wrinkles. “Okay. Then go buy a dog, Boone.”

  This is not how I thought this conversation would go, and I’m not sure why I led with buying a dog.

  But here we are.

  “I …” I regroup. “Forget the dog thing, okay?”

  She looks confused, and I can’t blame her.

  “What I’m trying to say is that I like you. I want you, Jaxi. If you’re scarred or bruised or scared—whatever it is, however it is, I’m in.”

  A lump is evident in her throat as she looks around the room. At everything but me.

  “Jaxi?”

  “I couldn’t look at a week, a month, a year from now and know that I fell short in your eyes just like I did Pete’s and Shawn’s.”

  “Fuck them both.”

  “Yes, fuck them both. But that doesn’t change the way things work for me, Boone. You aren’t a Pete or a Shawn. You’re an amazing man who feels entirely out of my league.”

  I laugh. “You have that backward.”

  She looks unconvinced, so I dig in.

  “Sweetheart, I could have cleaned out that workout room every day that you've been here, and I keep putting it off. Why? Because I hope one day I won’t need to.”

  Her eyes grow wide.

  “I was just talking to my brothers about this—”

  “You talked to your brothers about this?”

  “Yes. They’re a nosy bunch. You know this.” I roll my eyes and grin for good measure. “They’re also sometimes full of useful information. Holt was telling me that how I feel is not crazy because he felt the same way with Blaire. That when you know, you know and ...”

  My palms sweat in anticipation of her response. If she shoots me down, this is going to make things a whole lot more complicated. But if she doesn't …

  “I get you’re scared. I’m scared. This might not work out,” I say. “But I believe you were put in my life for a reason. I feel it. There’s something about this little family that we’ve created …” I laugh in disbelief that those words apply to me. “I don’t want it to end. We’re good together, Jaxi. We’re really fucking good. And I think the fucking would be really good too. I know because I’ve thought about it a lot. Daily.”

  She laughs, wiping her eyes with her fingertips.

  “But what about Rosie?” she asks. “She deserves stability. If this thing between us doesn’t work out, she’ll be crushed. It feels irresponsible of me to put her in that position.”

  My jaw clenches. “It’s a theoretical position in the first place. Second, I feel like it’s irresponsible of you to push me out of your lives because of some bullshit two other dudes put in your head.”

  She considers this. She shifts on the bed. “So, what are you saying, exactly?”

  “I’m saying that I’ve never had to work this hard to get a girl to want to be with me.”

  She laughs.

  “So back to where we started—I like you,” I tell her. “A lot.”

  “I like you too. A lot.”

  I smile. “So can we like each other in the sense that we can openly kiss each other? Because I really want to fucking kiss you.”

  Her cheeks flush. “I guess it’s not a terrible idea.”

  I lean in. Her eyes grow wide, and a breath hiccups in her chest.

  She squirms on the mattress until we’re only inches apart. The anxiety in her features is still there but noticeably less.


  I’ll kiss the rest of it off you.

  I place my hand on the back of her head, lacing my fingers in her hair. Her head rests in my palm and turns to give me full, easy access of her mouth.

  It’s supposed to be easy, gentle—something to absorb the rush of energy that I know is going to fire through every synapses as soon as our lips touch. But instead of merely brushing against each other, the electricity between us pulls us together.

  Her lips are soft, her breath sweet—the heat of the exchange pushes through my veins.

  She moans into my mouth as if she’s dreamed about this moment as many times as I have.

  I deepen the exchange, letting my tongue part her lips and explore her hot and wet mouth. She gives little resistance—fully trusting me to lead.

  My skin tingles, my balls ache, and I can’t think about anything other than what I need from her.

  And what I want to give her.

  I move her slowly back onto the mattress. And then I hover over her.

  I lower my face to hers again, pausing to take in the naughty grin on her face, when a little voice breaks the moment.

  “Boone!”

  Jaxi starts to giggle.

  All of the wind is knocked out of me. I fall back to the mattress and look at the ceiling.

  “In here,” I call out.

  The tile clicks with the sound of feet. Then it stops.

  “Oh, there you are. I thought you were gone,” Rosie says.

  I look up to see her standing in the doorway with her Glo Worm under her arm. And just like every other time I look at her sweet, little face, my heart melts. She always calls for me. And I want her to always do that too.

  “Still here,” I say before letting my head fall back to the mattress. I roll my head to face Jaxi. “We need to get a babysitter.”

  She giggles. “Come here, Rosie.”

  Rosie springs across the floor and launches herself onto the bed. I cover my groin until she’s settled next to me.

  Jaxi curls up on my right. Rosie twists herself into a pretzel around my left arm.

  This is not how I saw, or hoped, this night would end. But as I take in the feeling in my stomach and the way my heart feels full, I have to reconsider.

  Maybe this is what I hoped for.

  Maybe it’s just one better.

  Eighteen

  Boone

  “I want one of those,” Rosie says, reaching for my menu.

  I hand her a plastic-coated listing of dinner options from Hillary's House. She squirms in the booth, clutching the menu in her hands for dear life. She gets settled practically on top of Jaxi.

  Wade and Oliver had me in the office longer than normal tonight. The Greyshell report came in. We sat around and strategized on the best way to secure the property. When I looked up, it was past six, so I had Jaxi and Rosie take Libby’s car and meet me for dinner.

  “What did you two girls do today?” I ask from across the table.

  Jaxi puts down her menu. Her eyes sparkle. “Do you want to know what I did today? Really?”

  “I asked so …”

  She fake glares at me. “I looked into taking some courses for property management. I think I can get a grant to go back to school if I want to.”

  “Property management, huh?”

  She nods, picking up the water glass the waitress dropped off a few minutes ago. “I’ve always loved houses and buildings and things like that. But I was scrubbing the bathroom floor after someone decided to color on it with a marker.”

  Rosie smiles.

  “And I realized that there are a lot of Chucks out there. People shouldn’t have to feel the way I did when I was living in Columbus. So, I thought that since I’m basically starting over, I might as well pick something that I could enjoy, and I think I’d enjoy that.”

  “I think you’d be great at it.”

  “Thanks,” she says, grinning.

  “Can we go to the zoo?” Rosie asks out of nowhere.

  I furrow my brow. “The zoo? That’s random.”

  Jaxi sighs. “Rosie figured out how to watch YouTube on the kitchen television today. I didn’t know you could even do that. I walk in, and she’s watching some cartoon documentary kind of thing on zoos. We watched it six times. At least.”

  I fold my hands on the table. “I thought you wanted a puppy?”

  “I do,” Rosie says. “But I want to go to the zoo. There are so many animals at the zoo, Boone. You should see. Can we go?”

  “We can go,” I say slowly. “But you have to be a big girl and start sleeping in your big girl bed all night long.”

  Jaxi fires me a shit-eating grin.

  Everywhere I turn, Rosie is there. I can’t get a second alone with Jaxi to save my damn life.

  How do people find time to do anything remotely sexual with a toddler on the prowl? I tried to get up early this morning, and guess who else got up?

  Rosie.

  She’s the cutest little mood-killer ever.

  “I don’t really like sleeping alone,” Rosie says, her eyes glued to her menu. She’s too fucking cute.

  “Well, I really think you should try sleeping alone. Don’t you want to be a big girl?” I ask.

  “Nope.”

  Jaxi giggles. “What do you want to eat, Rosie?”

  “Um …” Rosie slides her finger down the menu as if she’s weighing the entrée options that she can’t even read. “I’ll have that,” she says, flicking the plastic with the tip of her finger.

  I pull the menu down. She’s pointing at prime rib.

  “Chicken tenders?” I ask. “Excellent choice.”

  “That’s what I want. And a Prite.”

  “And a Sprite,” I note. “Feeling a little cute today, are we?”

  As if on cue, our waitress comes to our table and collects our orders. She takes the menus back to the kitchen with her.

  Jaxi helps Rosie open the coloring crayons that were given to her by the waitress. I stretch my legs out under the table. I’m just about to ask Jaxi if she’s heard from Libby when my phone buzzes next to me.

  I don’t recognize the number.

  I pick up the phone and read the text.

  Danny: This is Danny Coutcher, a friend of Anjelica Grace. She told me that you were interested in the apartment complexes that I have available. When would be a good time to reach you?

  I look up at Jaxi and smile. A bubble of excitement ripples through my veins.

  Me: It’s good to hear from you. Let’s meet up early next week. Does that work for you?

  Danny: It does. I’m open every evening. I’ll reach back out over the weekend and we can confirm a date and time.

  Me: Sounds like a plan.

  “So, how was your day?” Jaxi asks after getting Rosie settled with the crayons.

  “Busy. We’re trying to figure out how to purchase a couple of blocks of land and it all hinges on one property.” I stretch my legs out again. “Wade and I are going to meet with them on Monday, I think, to see if we can make a deal.”

  “I’m pretty sure you could convince anyone to do anything.”

  I lean forward and rest my elbows on the table. “Do you think so?”

  She nods.

  I lower my voice. “Then let’s hope someone sleeps in their own bed so we can find out.”

  Jaxi throws her head back and laughs.

  It kills me that I haven’t slept with her yet. It eats me alive. I lay awake every night and think about it, but Rosie is always lurking. I figure it’s more important right now to make sure Rosie is adjusted. So I keep adjusting myself.

  I can’t do it much longer, though. I’m only human.

  “So, that property management stuff …” I try to switch gears. “Did you find anything out that interests you for sure?”

  “No,” she says. “But I did see something else that interested me today.”

  “What’s that?”

  Her eyes glimmer with mischief. “I saw a light on at Ted�
�s. I don’t think it was him because I didn’t see his car. It came on and then popped off a few minutes later. So …” She grins. “I called the police and reported that my cousin is out of town and no one should be there. You know, just in case Kimmy was over there pawing through Lib’s stuff.”

  “Ooh, I like this side of you,” I tease.

  She shrugs. “Libby doesn’t deserve what Ted did to her. I’m just glad that we were able to go over there and get most of her stuff.” She cringes. “I’m sorry that your garage is full of Libby’s things.”

  That’s an understatement.

  I have no idea what all is piled in the spot my car is supposed to go, but it’s a lot. Boxes and trunks and suitcases from Libby’s are lined up. All of the stuff from Rosie’s room is in there too. That’s not to mention the other shit I had in there. There’s not even room for my car anymore.

  “I need a bigger garage,” I say. “And maybe a bigger house.”

  “Your house is just fine.”

  “It’s cramped. Don’t you think?”

  She looks at me like she hopes I’m joking.

  “What?” I ask. “The living room is full of Rosie’s toys.”

  “Your mom’s fault.”

  “My closet is full of my clothes, let alone yours.”

  “I have like six things. That’s all you.”

  I raise my brows. “But you’re going to have to fill your wardrobe again. You need more clothes.”

  “I do not.”

  I sigh. “Anyway, I think a bigger house might be nice.”

  “No. You are not buying a bigger house.”

  Rosie scribbles away. “Can we get a puppy at the bigger house?”

  Jaxi kisses her on the side of the head. “We are not getting a bigger house, Rosie.”

  I start to piece together my pitch to win her over on the idea when a voice calls out to me.

  “Well, hey there, Boone.”

  I look over my shoulder and see Marcus Van coming toward me.

  “Hey, Marcus,” I say, clasping my hand with his. “What are you doing around here?”

  “I was golfing over here with some guys from the team and had to come here. I love their spaghetti.”