The Ruins Of Us (Mayhem Book 3)

by Catharina Maura

  Chapter 3

  Emilia

  I’m nervous as I cook dinner, intent on wowing Sam. I still feel horrible for forgetting about our anniversary last week. Sam hasn’t said anything, but he’s been different all week. I know he’s disappointed in me, and all I want to do is put a smile back on his face.

  I’m anxious as I wait for him to come over. With my luck, he’ll end up having to work late, or there’ll be some emergency he just won’t be able to walk away from. I love his heart, but being a doctor’s girlfriend isn’t easy.

  I exhale in relief when my front door opens. Sam walks in, and his eyes widen when he sees me. I dressed up for him tonight. I put on a tight black dress that hugs my figure and makes me feel sexy, and the way his eyes roam over me tells me he likes it.

  “All this, for me?”

  I bite down on my lip and nod. Sam walks up to me and I hug him tightly. “I’m so sorry,” I whisper. “I know this isn’t much, but just let me spoil you tonight?”

  Sam smiles and nods, his eyes twinkling. I grin up at him, relieved to find him smiling so genuinely. I grab his hand and drag him to the dining table. “Take a seat. I’m serving you tonight.”

  He grins and raises his brow. “Serving me, huh?” he says, his voice husky. I blush and look away shyly.

  “Food,” I murmur. “I’m serving you food.”

  He laughs and shakes his head just as I place the food on the table. “That’s not all you’re serving me tonight, Emilia.”

  I chuckle and shake my head. “Behave,” I tell him. Sam looks at the food and smiles happily.

  “I love this, Emilia. I love having dinner with you after a long day. I love coming home to you. I think I want this for the rest of my life, you know?”

  My heart skips a beat and for just a second, panic grips me. I push it down and force myself to nod. I should want this too, and I do. I do. Sam is perfect.

  “Come on, try it,” I say, trying my best to sound excited. He chuckles and takes a bite under my watchful gaze.

  “Delicious,” he says, grinning, and I smile back at him. “I meant it, you know. I think I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Emilia. I know we’ve only been dating for a year, but we’ve known each other for eight years now. Honestly, I knew you were the one for me the second I saw you. How about we stop paying rent on two properties and just move in together?”

  I inhale sharply. I knew this was coming. It was only natural, and I have no real reason to say no, but somehow, I still don’t feel ready. I’m not ready for that type of commitment.

  Sam’s expression drops when I don’t answer and he looks away. “You don’t want to.”

  I shake my head furiously. “No, that’s not it. I’m just surprised, that’s all.” I inhale deeply and nod. “Of course we should move in together,” I say, even though my heart isn’t in it. I won’t ever meet a man that’s more perfect than Sam is. I need to stop holding back and commit to him fully.

  “Really?” he says, his happiness palpable. “If you’re not ready then that’s totally fine, Emilia. I would love for us to move in together, but I don’t want to pressure you into doing anything you’re not ready for.”

  I shake my head. How did I get this lucky? “I’m ready,” I tell him — and myself.

  Sam rises from his seat and walks up to me, pulling me to my feet. Just as he’s about to kiss me, my phone rings, the ringtone loud and entirely unique to my dad. I jump in surprise and glance at my phone.

  “It’s my dad,” I tell Sam.

  “I spoke to him yesterday,” Sam says. “I called to ask his blessing before asking you to move in together. It’s a bit old school, I guess, but it seemed like the right thing to do.”

  I grin at Sam and shake my head. “You didn’t,” I say, wide-eyed.

  Sam grins and nods as I pick up the phone.

  “Hi Daddy,” I say, a smile on my face.

  “Princess,” he says, and I sit back down, my heart twisting painfully. I miss him. “How are you?” he asks.

  I nod, even though he can’t see me. “I’m good, Dad. I miss you, though. How have you been?”

  My dad and I were never close as I was growing up, but that has changed over the years. When I moved to London, he started calling me as often as he could, and over the years we’ve been able to mend our relationship. It makes staying away even harder.

  “I actually have something to tell you, Princess.”

  I grin and glance at Sam. “Me too, Dad,” I say excitedly. “Sam and I are moving in together!”

  Dad is silent, and I frown. I pull my phone away from my face to check if we’re still connected, but we are. “Dad?”

  He clears his throat. “I see,” he says, and my smile drops. I thought he’d be a little bit more excited than this. He seemed to like Sam just fine when I introduced him last year during his annual visit.

  “Princess, I need you to sit down for a second, okay?” he says, worrying me. I look at Sam with wide eyes, and he lifts his brows in question. I shake my head to reassure him, but my heart is racing.

  “I’m sitting, Daddy.”

  Dad inhales deeply before speaking. “I have end-stage renal disease, Emilia.”

  “End-stage renal disease?” I repeat numbly, the words not even registering. Not truly. Not until Sam looks up at me in shock, his expression morphing into horror.

  “I… that… kidney failure? That’s what it is, right? Please tell me you’re joking, Dad.”

  Sam drops down to his knees beside me and grabs my free hand, offering me all the support he can. I tighten my grip on his hand in an attempt to stop trembling.

  “I’m not joking, Emilia. I wish I was, Princess. It’s pretty bad. It’s been a few months, and I’m not sure I can even get a kidney transplant. I hate to ask this of you, but Princess, I really want to see you. Please come home, Emilia.”

  I swallow hard and I don’t even realize I’ve started crying until Sam wipes away my tears. “Of course, Daddy. I’ll be home as soon as I can. How long have you known? Why didn’t you ask me to get tested? I should be a match, right? How does that work?”

  Dad sighs. “I just want to see you, Princess. I don’t want your kidney, baby girl. I’d never accept, so get that thought right out of your head. I just want to see you.”

  I sniff loudly and nod. “I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

  Sam wraps his arms around me and I hold on just long enough for Dad to end the call, and then I let myself fall apart. Sam strokes my hair and holds me tightly, trying his best to console me, but my tears just won’t abate.

  “I didn’t even know,” I sob.

  Sam tightens his grip on me and presses a kiss to my hair. “You know now, honey. I’ll check with the hospital if I can take some time off, okay?”

  I nod and pull away. I see the insecurity in his eyes. He knows just as well as I do that I’ll be away for months. Sam presses a kiss to my forehead. “Everything will be okay, Emilia. Be strong for your Dad, okay?”

  Chapter 4

  Carter

  I walk into John’s dialysis room after a long day at work to find him staring into space, a lost expression on his face. He’s settled in just fine at my house, and he seems to enjoy all the facilities and the staff he now has access to, just like I knew he would. I don’t know why the old man is so damn stubborn. We could have done this months ago.

  He looks up at me and smiles. “Carter, my boy,” he says, patting the seat next to his. I walk up to him and sit down, turning on the massage function on both our chairs. I got him top of the line equipment and furniture, since he spends four hours in this room every single day.

  “How was your day?” I ask. His expression crumbles, and I regret asking the question immediately.

  “Spent half the day hooked up to this,” he says, holding up his arm, the tubes all still connected, his blood flowing in and out.

  I sigh, wishing I could do more. John smiles at me and shakes his head as though he knows wh
at I’m thinking.

  He straightens in his seat and looks up at me with a serious expression, and I tense automatically. “I told Emilia that I’m sick,” he says, and my heart drops. He rarely mentions her, and every time he does, my heart aches.

  I nod at him, but my mind is on Emilia. I wonder how she took the news. The girl I used to know would’ve probably burst into tears the second the words left John’s lips. I hate the idea of her being all by herself over there, especially because it’s all my fault that she’s there, and not here with her father.

  “I asked her to come home.”

  I freeze and look at him with wide eyes. Emilia hasn’t been back here since the day she left. For years I hoped she’d come back one day, that I’d run into her somewhere, but with every year that passed my hopes died a little more.

  “What did she say?” I ask, my voice soft.

  John smiles. “She said she’d come home, of course.”

  Emilia coming home? I feel nervous at the mere thought of it. I haven’t seen her in years. Will she still smile at me the way she used to or will she treat me like a stranger?

  John clears his throat and smiles tightly. “I’d very much like her to stay with me,” he says, his voice soft and pleading. He looks up at me and I know what he’s going to ask me before he even says it.

  “Can she stay here with me? Would that be okay with you?”

  I inhale deeply and let my eyes fall closed as my head falls back on the massage chair. Emilia, living in my house? My heart beats just a little faster at the thought of it. It’s been eight years since I last saw her. I have no idea how she feels about me and my family, but I doubt there’s even one remotely positive feeling left. Not after everything we put her through. Not after everything my mother and sister have said to her. They broke her spirit right before my eyes, and I stood by and watched it happen.

  “I’m not sure she’d be willing to, John,” I tell him honestly. “But if that’s what you want, then yes, of course Emilia is welcome here.”

  He smiles at me gratefully and I try my best to smile back, but I can’t manage it. I’ve been surviving on the memories I have of Emilia, and I wonder what it’ll be like to see her again. Does she still think of me the way I think of her? Does she ever wonder what our life together might have been like? Does she ever miss me? I’ve always hoped that she does, and that I still own part of her heart the way she owns part of mine. I wonder if she’ll shatter all of my illusions.

  Having Emilia around, having her in my house… I have no idea what that might be like. Am I ready to see her again? For as long as I can remember, she’s been my person. Now all I am to her is someone she used to know.

  I sigh and run a hand through my hair. I’ve waited years to see her again, but now that it’s finally happening, I don’t know how to feel. So many times I’ve booked a ticket to London, only to cancel it at the last minute. She asked for a clean break, and after everything my family and I put her through, that’s the very least I owed her. Yet I selfishly wished to chase after her. Sometimes I still do.

  “You okay, son?”

  I blink and glance at John. “Yes, of course,” I murmur, forcing a smile onto my face. John looks at me, and something about the look in his eyes makes me wonder if he orchestrated this. I’ve been asking him to move in with me for months, and he finally agrees shortly before telling me Emilia is returning? What is he thinking?

  “It’ll be good for her to be here,” he tells me, and something about his tone puts me on edge. “It’s time for her to come home.”

  He says it with such decisiveness that I can’t help but frown. I’d like to think he just wants her back here because he’s sick and he misses her, but I know him better than that. No, he’s got something up his sleeve, and I have a feeling it involves both Emilia and me.

  Chapter 5

  Emilia

  I’m a wreck as I disembark the plane. Multiple times I end up apologizing because I find myself standing still when I’m willing myself to walk. I don’t think I’ve even slept in two days.

  All I’ve been able to think about is Dad, and everything he’s been through by himself. I can’t believe I wasn’t there when he received his diagnosis. I can’t believe I haven’t been there for his first dialysis appointments. Sam walked me through everything Dad must have been through, and everything that’s yet to come. No one should ever have to go through something like this by themselves. I’m Dad’s only family, and I wasn’t there.

  Bitterness courses through me at the thought of Dad suffering by himself. I should never have stayed away for as long as I did. I never should’ve even left. Kate didn’t deserve it. I shouldn’t have been the one to sacrifice my family to save hers. If I could go back in time, I’d undo that choice.

  I bite down on my lip and shake my head. What’s done is done. All I can do now is be there for Dad going forward. I can’t make up for lost time, no matter how much I might wish to.

  I inhale deeply as I walk out with my luggage, my heart racing. I look around me, feeling nostalgic. The airport has changed so much, yet simply standing here after so many years still feels like coming home.

  “Emilia!”

  I turn around, surprised, my eyes finding Dad.

  “Princess,” he says, opening his arms wide. I drop my bags, my eyes filling with tears instantly. I walk into his arms and hold him tightly, a sob tearing through my throat.

  “Daddy,” I murmur, choking on my sobs. He looks so thin and frail. When did this happen? How could I not have noticed? What kind of daughter am I?

  Dad chuckles and tightens his grip on me. “God, Emilia. I’m not dead yet, you know?” he says, and I cry even harder. Dad pulls away and holds me by my shoulders, a pained smile on his face. “You’re still an ugly crier, huh? I missed your ugly little face.”

  I pout and try my best to stop crying, but my attempts to rein in my tears only make him laugh. “It’s not funny. None of this is funny,” I tell him.

  Dad nods and hugs me tightly. “I know, honey. But like I said, I’m not dead yet, okay? None of this crying nonsense, all right?”

  I nod, trying my best to get a handle on my emotions, and Dad wipes my tears away carefully.

  “What are you doing here, Dad? I thought we agreed I’d rent a car and drive down?”

  Dad smiles and brushes my hair behind my ear. “Couldn’t wait to see my little girl again.”

  My heart warms and fresh tears runs down my cheeks. I inhale deeply and sniff. “Dad, are you even supposed to be driving?” I ask, my voice wobbly.

  He chuckles and shakes his head. “I’m mostly fine, sweetheart. So long as I don’t miss my dialysis appointments I’m fine. Don’t you worry.”

  Sam did say that most people can go on to live for years so long as they receive regular dialysis, but Dad doesn’t look fine. He looks sick and frail.

  Dad grabs my hand and pulls me towards his car. I frown and glance at him. “New car?” I ask, taking in the Range Rover. It’s stunning, and it’s not something Dad would usually drive.

  Dad grins and shakes his head as he checks his watch. “It’s not mine,” he tells me. “We’d better hurry. My new nurses are a bit strict,” he says, shaking his head. “I’m pretty sure Carter hired them as payback.”

  I freeze, my heart twisting painfully. “Carter?” I whisper. A wave of longing goes through me at the mere mention of his name and I bite down on my lip as I strap myself in.

  Dad nods as he starts the car. He falls silent as he drives us home, and I look at him. “Why would Carter hire you a nurse?” I ask, my voice trembling slightly. His name sounds foreign on my lips. It tastes forbidden. I’ve kept myself from thinking of him for so long now. Even speaking his name feels wrong somehow.

  Dad smiles tightly. “Carter has been a pillar of support unlike no other. He’s built me an entire treatment room with every piece of equipment I could ever need, so I don’t need to travel outside of town for my treatments. He’s arranged dieti
cians and chefs to curate my diet, and he’s given me access to his home gym so I don’t have to walk outside in the cold. But more than that, Emilia, he’s become like a son to me over the last couple of years.”

  I blink in disbelief. “A son?” I repeat numbly, the mere thought of it horrifying me. Dad chuckles. He looks at me, his eyes twinkling.

  “Well, sort of,” he says. “I’ll take him as a son-in-law too. I’m not too picky.”

  I stare at Dad in disbelief, my heart bursting with longing. Carter as Dad’s son-in-law?

  My heart feels funny at the mere thought of that, and I look at my dad through narrowed eyes. I raise my brows, ignoring his remark. “How? How did this happen? You haven’t mentioned him in years. How could you two possibly be close enough for him to do all of that?”

  Dad smiles at me. “Princess, this is Woodstock, not London,” he reminds me, as though that’s sufficient explanation.

  I sit back and glance out the window. Carter and Dad being close surprises me. I’ve forced myself to think of nothing but Dad, and I assumed Carter would still be in L.A. I’ve seen him and his company on the news a few times, and from the little bit I know about him, he seems to be wildly successful.

  I didn’t think I’d even see him here at all. I can’t help but wonder if he’s with someone else now. If he’s happy. If he ever thinks of me at all. My heart twists painfully at the thought of him having moved on.

  I’m probably just a reminder of everything Kate went through, a part of their lives they’d rather forget about. I wonder how long it’ll take before I run into her. I wonder if she’s happy now, if she’s healthy. I bite down on my lip harshly and force myself to turn my thoughts back to Dad. No one matters but him. I’ve put others above him in the past, and I’ve lost precious years with him because of it. I won’t ever make that mistake again.

  “We’re here,” Dad says, and I look up in surprise. Dad drives up to giant gilded gates, and they open automatically. I stare out the window wide-eyed and glance at Dad.