The Proposal

by Jennifer Lewis

  “What?”

  “You’re like a kid on Christmas morning.”

  She stuck her nose in the air. “I like snow,”

  “I see that.”

  “It probably won’t last. I have to enjoy it while it’s here.”

  “Yeah,” Benton said, merging into traffic, “it’ll be rain soon.”

  Feeling brighter, knowing that things between them were evening out, she asked, “Where are we going?”

  “You’ll see.”

  “Okay, be mysterious about it.”

  He shrugged.

  Sometimes, chipping away at Benton was like chiseling away at stone. The man revealed nothing unless he wanted to. No amount of convincing could change his mind. He was the epitome of stubborn.

  Andrea leaned her head back against the rest and watched the traffic speed by out the window. The snow was falling thicker now, clinging to the pavement. Christmas decorations swirled around the telephone poles and flashes of lights streaked by. She loved this time of year; family, good will and the extra cheer most people displayed. She was that annoying co-worker that wore Santa earrings and a red wool coat until after the New Year.

  After an indeterminable amount of time, they pulled in front of a non-descript brick building. Benton gathered bags from the back of the Jeep and she followed, curious. Bells jingled as they opened the door and pushed through. The inside was a blast of warmth and smelled like coffee and cookies. She could hear laughter and the background noise of a television. Men and women sat at tables, some playing cards, others talking. Many were in wheelchairs, missing arms, legs or other limbs.

  Looking at Benton questioningly, she was about to ask him where they were when someone yelled, “Hell, look who it is!”

  A dark-haired man wheeled up to Benton, grinning as he looked from the other man to Andrea and back again.

  “Who’s your friend, Ben?”

  Benton made a big show of sighing. “Jake, this is Andrea. Andrea, Jake.”

  Jake held out a hand, his grin taking on a different edge as he enveloped Andrea’s smaller, gloved hand in his. “Well, hello.”

  Benton shoved the bags at him, breaking the handshake.

  “Yeah, yeah. I got you assholes something.”

  Jake laughed. “We’ll just put it under the tree.”

  Gesturing to the aforementioned tree, Benton said. “You mean that pathetic thing?”

  Andrea looked at it. “I don’t know, I think it has charm.”

  “See? She likes our tree.” Jake wheeled forward. “Hey, guys and gals! Look who decided to grace us with his presence?”

  Many waved, others called out greetings.

  “This guy thinks he’s one of us,” Jake said to Andrea, as if Benton wasn’t standing right beside him. Patting his knee just above his amputated leg, Jake added, “But he doesn’t fit in.”

  “Whatever,” Benton said. “I can take the gifts back.”

  Jake hugged them tightly. “No way.”

  Andrea laughed. Removing her gloves and coat, she watched as Benton traversed the room, stopping to talk with many of the people for a few moments at a time. He seemed different here. She thought he appeared more open and relaxed.

  After placing the presents under the tree, Jake came back to Andrea. “He’s a good guy.”

  Eyes never leaving Benton, Andrea agreed. “Yeah, I think so.”

  “So... You two dating?”

  She blinked, looking down at him. “No. I mean, not exactly.”

  Jake nodded. “Ah. I get it. Too bad. I really know how to take a lady for a spin.”

  Andrea smiled at him. “I bet you do.”

  Benton made his way back around to them. “Quit hitting on the lady, Jake. She’s going to get the wrong idea.”

  “That’s the whole point.” Jake said, winking before he rolled away. “Let me get you guys some coffee.”

  “They’re all Vets,” Benton told her quietly. “I try to get here a couple times a month, but sometimes...” He shrugged.

  “That’s very nice of you.”

  Benton rolled his shoulders, looking uncomfortable. “Yeah, well, they’re brothers and sisters. No big deal.”

  Andrea thought it was more than that, but she didn’t want to embarrass him. Jake conned them into a card game, which Andrea lost horribly to. Benton took them all for their poker chips, a large, colorful pile sitting proudly in front of him. The other Veterans cursed him good-naturedly, and she thought this was a normal occurrence.

  After a few hours spent, they said their good-byes. The others ribbed Benton to bring her with next time. She enjoyed his discomfort. It wasn’t often she could say someone got the better of him. Once out in the car, she realized it was late afternoon. By the time they made it home, it would be time to make dinner.

  “That was fun,” she told him.

  “Yeah. They’re good people.”

  “Thank you for bringing me.”

  He shrugged. A typical Benton response.

  She thought about earlier, a part of her still feeling she should apologize. But the moment between them was easy and she didn’t want to ruin it. What was worse, she felt sure, was how comfortably they were falling into a pattern. She didn’t want to get used to being with him, to become to depend on him. This was temporary. She needed to remember that. No matter what happened, he had given her no promises and she had accepted nothing.

  A little bit of happiness dimmed in her at the thoughts. But she reminded herself it would be foolish to get attached to the situation. They kissed, he admitted to wanting her, but they weren’t dating and she doubted they ever would.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Mid-week, Andrea went to dinner with Emme. It was difficult to relax and enjoy it when Ryan sat a few tables away, watching. It felt like she could never be alone and she wondered when Benton would be satisfied that Brad would no longer bother her. She hadn’t heard anything from him for over a week. Maybe he was moving on, realizing there was nothing she could do to help him, much less take the blame.

  Over her glass of wine, Emme asked, “Did you file the restraining order?”

  Andrea nodded. “Benton helped me last week.”

  Her friend glanced over her shoulder at Ryan. “Not that I’m complaining about the scenery, but isn’t it weird having someone following you around all of the time?”

  Andrea sighed. “Yes. And not being at my apartment...”

  Something wicked flashed through Emme’s expression and Andrea wished she hadn’t mentioned it.

  “Yes, how is that going?”

  “It’s not going anywhere, Em.”

  Emme sat back. “Pity, that. I don’t have a love life, so I was hoping to live vicariously through yours.”

  “There isn’t going to be a love life with Benton.”

  “I don’t know why not. I’d be all over that in your place.”

  “It isn’t that simple.”

  Emme pushed a lock of brunette hair behind her ear. “I know. Feelings are involved. I just want you to be happy.”

  Swirling the wine in her glass, Andrea shrugged. “It isn’t so bad...”

  “Do tell.”

  “It’s nothing, Em.”

  “Oh, now, I know it’s something. Spill.”

  Knowing her friend was like a pit bull with a bone when she latched onto something, Andrea gave in. “We kissed, that’s all.”

  Emme’s eyebrows arched into her bangs. “That’s all? Well, how was it?”

  Thinking about it unearthed the butterflies, leaving them fluttering to the point she couldn’t touch her wine. Benton’s kiss had been unlike anything she ever experienced. The man didn’t just kiss, he consumed. In that moment, she felt like the only woman in the universe, as if he could see nothing outside her and never would. It was much more than lips touching lips. It was as if he stroked her entire body without even touching her.

  Dropping her gaze, cheeks flushing, more from her thoughts than the wine, Andrea demurred.


  “You aren’t getting off that easy, Andy.”

  Glancing at Ryan, hoping he couldn’t hear, she leaned forward. “It was amazing.”

  Emme nodded knowingly. “I knew it. If you got past his guard that far, I bet you it won’t be long until he takes you to bed.”

  “Emme!”

  As the waiter approached, Emme drained her glass. “I’m just saying.”

  Andrea accepted her plate of pasta and thanked the waiter. Ignoring her friend, she took a bite and closed her eyes against the flavor. She didn’t eat here often, but when she did, it was worth the hefty price of the plates.

  “All I know,” Emme said around a bite, “is that if I had a man like Benton wanting me, I wouldn’t hesitate. As it is... My dating life has dried up.”

  “That’s the problem,” Andrea agreed. “You aren’t dating so you have to harass me.”

  “Ashlyn is married, you are practically dating. Kate and I are the last women standing. What do you expect?”

  “We aren’t dating,” Andrea corrected, trying not to think of Benton in the way she had been dreaming of him.

  “You’re living together.”

  “That’s just until Benton is satisfied Brad isn’t going to hurt me.”

  “Speaking of that rat, it’s like he disappeared off the face of the planet.”

  “I wish,” Andrea sighed.

  “Don’t wish too hard. Then you don’t get to live with that hunk anymore.”

  “Emme, honestly. It’s kind of like... Torture.”

  “I can only imagine. And can I imagine plenty.”

  “You’re terrible, Em. Eat your dinner.”

  Andrea felt slightly guilty that Ryan sat alone. She liked him well enough, for hardly knowing him. In some ways, he reminded her of Benton; only more open and with a lively sense of humor. The bodyguard didn’t seem to mind. She supposed he wanted to give them their privacy. Considering Emme’s topic of conversation, she was glad.

  It felt like she and Benton were at a stalemate; they existed around one another, not acknowledging the attraction or acting on it. Andrea wasn’t certain what she wanted. The thought of being with him was exhilarating, but at the same time, frightening. How much would she give up of herself to him? Benton didn’t seem like the relationship sort of man.

  Halfway through eating, she pushed her plate away. Benton, Brad... Everything left her stomach in knots and robbed her of her appetite. If everything could just resolve itself and she could go back to her life as before... Then she would be safe, and alone.

  Andrea realized she didn’t make sense. She wanted Benton, but when he got too close she retreated. So she dated someone who seemed harmless like Brad, only the entire time she could only think of the man she lived with. The truth was, she was too much of a coward to step up and face what being with Benton would mean.

  “Andrea?”

  Shaking her head, she half-smiled. “Sorry, Em. Just thinking.”

  “You look miserable.”

  “I just...” She dropped her forehead to the table. “I’m just scared to act.”

  “Love is scary.”

  Her head jerked up. “I’m not in love with Benton.”

  “Hm.” Was all Emme would say in reply.

  “Oh, stop it. I don’t know him well enough to love him.”

  Emme folded her arms across her chest. “You have to take a leap sometime, Andy. Otherwise... you’ll be alone.”

  “It’s not that easy.”

  “It’s as easy as you make it.”

  Irritation simmered, causing her to jerk her purse from the floor and rifle through her wallet for her credit card. Whether there existed a grain of truth in what Emme said or not, she had to be true to herself. She didn’t throw herself at men, and it was all too obvious Benton had his own reservations. Why would she want to be with a man that couldn’t commit?

  “I’m sorry, Andy. I’ll stop talking about it.”

  Never able to stay mad at the people she cared about, Andrea shook her head. “It’s okay, Em. Hey, I need to go back to my apartment and get a few things. Do you want to come?”

  “Sure. It’s that, or I take a taxi home.”

  They gathered their things after the waiter brought them back their cards, and she approached Ryan, asking if he minded driving them to her apartment. She hadn’t packed enough belongings for weeks of living with Benton. She didn’t know what she expected, but this thing with Brad was dragging on. What would Benton do? Beat Brad into submission? He hadn’t done anything the police could arrest him for.

  The thought of him doing more than harassing her frightened her. What was the man capable of? She felt like a terrible judge of character. If Benton was deadly, Brad certainly wasn’t harmless.

  They talked of benign things riding in the back of Ryan’s twin cab truck. Though the snow mostly melted, the sky spit it out in fits here and there. The flakes were coming down in a fine, slowly drifting fall now. Andrea wished they would have a near blizzard, blanketing Seattle in a soft, white glow. She didn’t mind being out in it at all.

  “You ladies don’t take off without me,” Ryan told them, as he pulled into her parking space.

  “Yes, sir,” Emme teased, earning a grin from the guard.

  As they took the steps to her door, Ryan kept close and though he looked relaxed, Andrea didn’t doubt he knew everything that went on around them. Three cars down, a door slammed shut. Voices drifted, laughter and the arguing of children reaching them. The click of boot heels sounded on the sidewalk below them, and it surprised her how on edge she felt.

  Pulling her keys from her purse, she said, “I won’t be very long. I just need-”

  Gasping, her gloved hand flying to her mouth, she felt the speeding of her heart as the cold invaded, more than just the weather now. Sprawled across her door in bright, ugly red were the words ‘whore’, ‘bitch’ and ‘you’ll pay’.

  “What the hell?” Ryan muttered, noticing the door was slightly ajar. Andrea fell back, gripping Emme’s arm as the two watched him pull out a gun, reaching for the door.

  “Jesus,” Emme breathed, eyes wide as she grabbed Andrea back.

  The living room was a disaster. Her prized furniture, the couch and chair she saved to buy when she first moved here, were torn, stuffing blooming from the rips. Both of her lamps were shattered, shards scattered across the littered carpet.

  Tears blurred her vision when Ryan reappeared, assuring them that the apartment was empty. He was on the phone, talking to Benton she assumed. Pulling Emme with her, she stumbled through the door, and stood amid the mess, unable to comprehend why someone would do this. No, not someone. She knew it had to be Brad.

  “Oh, Andy. I’m so sorry,” Emme hugged her.

  “I can’t believe...” Rubbing her eyes, she wandered through the rooms. Nothing was untouched. He spared none of her things, his hateful touch on everything.

  Emme followed her, anger evident in her expression. “We are calling the police. Maybe they can find fingerprints. At least they can get him for something...”

  Ryan appeared in the doorway to her bedroom. “Already done. Sit tight, girls. Andrea, Benton will get this taken care of.”

  It wasn’t just that her things were ruined. She could buy new clothing, new furniture. It was that the man had invaded her personal space and made his mark on her life. Why couldn’t he just leave her alone and move on?

  Sinking onto her bed, she glanced around numbly. Emme sat with her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. The next few hours blurred together, as the police took their report, asked questions and she searched for anything to take with that wasn’t damaged. How could she ever feel safe again?

  As she and Emme put things into a bag, Ryan took the police aside and talked with them. She didn’t know what he was saying, but she didn’t care to; it wasn’t like she could do anything at this point.

  After they dropped Emme at home, Andrea rode in silence with Ryan back to the Cross estates. She wanted he
r pajamas, a cup of tea and time alone. She didn’t know if Benton was home from his duties. She didn’t know if she wanted to talk to him.

  Ryan walked her to the door.

  Turning, she thanked him. “I appreciate all of your help.”

  “No problem. I’m sorry that happened.”

  She gave him a rueful smile. “I guess I don’t have very good taste in men.”