Courting the Forbidden Debutante
Page 22
Warthog Walter had set his sights on Annie and, instead of rolling over and complying as many of the women did to gain the protection of one of the stronger men, she had protested loudly. She’d screamed and screamed until Walter had hit her so hard she hadn’t woken up for two days.
‘You never gave up on her,’ Crawford said. ‘That was one of the things I most admired about you.’
Sam had seen the unfortunate woman resist Walter again and again, each time getting a punch or kick for her troubles while the criminal still took what he wanted. He hadn’t been able to stand by and let her endure it on her own, so the next time Walter had come for her he’d stood in the way and taken the beating. He’d been twelve and half the size of the man punching him, but he hadn’t stepped aside. Three times it happened before a few of the other prisoners had stepped up to Sam’s side, objecting to the way Walter was hurting a woman who could not defend herself. On cold days Sam could still feel the ache of his lowest rib that had probably been broken by one of the beatings, but despite the pain he’d felt at the time he’d never given up. It wasn’t in his nature.
‘The sensible thing would have been to let Annie fend for herself,’ Crawford said quietly. ‘But you knew what you wanted, for Walter to stop hurting her, and you made it happen.’
Sam nodded. It had been years since he’d last thought of Annie. She’d died soon after they’d landed in Australia. Struck down by the fever that claimed so many of the convicts.
‘So what do you want now?’ Fitzgerald asked from the other side of him.
‘Georgina.’
‘How are you going to get her?’ Crawford asked.
He shook his head. His friends were wrong in assuming that he’d given up. Far from it, he’d spent the last two weeks plotting and planning, trying to find some way to make Georgina see that they should be together. All the time and energy he’d spent up until two weeks ago planning his revenge on the Earl was now focused solely on getting Georgina back. The problem was every time he came up with even half a plan he would see her hurt face, the tears trickling over her velvety-soft cheeks, and question whether he was good enough for her. He’d become distracted and as such hadn’t managed to find a way to persuade Georgina she still wanted to abandon her family and friends for a man who’d lied quite spectacularly to her.
‘I don’t know,’ he said, holding up a hand to halt the next question. ‘But I will.’
He saw his two friends grin at one another.
‘What can we do to help?’
‘I can get her away from here,’ Sam said quietly, realising it would help to discuss his dilemma with his friends, even if it was painful to talk about. ‘I’ve got ten different routes planned to whisk her out of the country. What I’m struggling with is how I persuade her to trust me again.’
‘She was ready to run away with you before she found out about your past with her father?’
San nodded morosely. That was the worst part; he’d succeeded in persuading Georgina to give up everything she knew, to take a chance on him. And then he’d lost it all.
‘Have you told her you love her?’ Crawford asked.
Again Sam nodded. ‘And now she’s returning my letters unopened.’
Crawford was just about to open his mouth when Lady Winston sailed into the room.
‘Bad news,’ she said without preamble. ‘The wedding is in one week.’
She slapped the gossip sheet down in front of Sam and pointed to the part that announced the rather rapid marriage between Lady Georgina and the Duke of Heydon. The author of the column speculated about the speed of the nuptials, but Sam’s name did not appear anywhere.
‘A week,’ he said, feeling the hot flush of panic.
‘Plenty of time,’ Crawford said cheerfully, slapping him on the back. ‘A whole week to persuade her to follow her heart.’
Lady Winston snorted and sat down at the head of the table. ‘You’re going to need something quite spectacular,’ she said in that no-nonsense way of hers that Sam had come to love. ‘No girl wants to find out they’ve only been courted out of revenge.’
He didn’t bother correcting her; it was what Georgina believed. It didn’t matter that it had never been his intention to seduce her, ruin her, and bring shame and scandal on her father at the same time.
‘Have you given up all thoughts of revenge?’ Lady Winston asked.
‘Yes.’ It was the truth. He had hardly thought of the Earl these last few weeks. The idea of revenge seemed petty and insignificant now he had potentially lost the love of his life. He couldn’t quite remember why confronting the Earl had been so important to him, it was the past, an unhappy bit of his life. Now he knew he should have been concentrating on the present and the future the whole time. Dwelling on the wrongs done to him so many years ago certainly had not brought him happiness.
‘Then tell her that. Get down on your knees and beg her forgiveness if that’s what it takes.’
‘I would, but she’s not accepting my visits when I call on her,’ Sam said. He’d tried multiple times in the past week, but Georgina had never been at home.
‘I happened to overhear her mother talking at the Yaxleys’ dinner party last night,’ Lady Winston said, a little smile dancing on her lips. ‘Lady Georgina has a dress fitting at two o’clock this afternoon at Madame De Revere’s shop. And unfortunately her mother is otherwise engaged. Lady Georgina will be there alone.’
Sam jumped from his seat and kissed Lady Winston enthusiastically on the cheek.
‘Settle down, dear boy, I’ve just given you a location. The rest is up to you.’
‘Thank you.’
Without another word he left the room, taking the stairs two at a time. His hangover was forgotten, as was the need he’d felt for oblivion the night before. Today would be the day he persuaded Georgina not to give up on him. Today would be the day she agreed to marry him.
It was cold in the dressmaker’s shop, but as Georgina felt the thick material of her wedding dress being pulled over her head she was glad for the chilly temperature. She hated being clammy and overheated when being fussed over by the modiste.
‘Beautiful,’ Madame De Revere said, clapping her hands with satisfaction. Georgina peered at herself in the full-length mirror. She felt strangely detached, as if she was looking at someone else. The dress certainly was beautiful, ivory and gold in colour with intricate embroidery in gold thread and thousands upon thousands of little beads sewn into the material. She dreaded to think what it was costing, but her mother had insisted she have only the best.
She was marrying a duke and when someone of that status got married, the wedding was a very public affair. Her mother was adamant Georgina would look every inch the Duchess even before she’d said her vows.
‘A little pinch here,’ Madame De Revere was saying, pulling at the material around her waist. ‘You’re getting thin, Lady Georgina.’
Looking down, Georgina supposed she had lost a bit of weight. Her appetite had been poor and her interest in food almost non-existent. If she was truthful, her interest in everything had waned to a low level. Every night she found herself crying into her pillow and hating herself for it. Sam had used her, seduced her, and broken her heart—he didn’t deserve her tears and her anguish.
‘Don’t lose any more before the wedding,’ the dressmaker commanded.
One week, that was all she had before she became a wife and a duchess. She felt peculiarly isolated from the idea. The Duke had continued to be the perfect gentleman, attentive but not overly so, and had allowed her to decide on the small details surrounding the wedding. He was not affectionate towards her—apart from the odd kiss on the hand he’d barely touched her—and Georgina was glad. Theirs wasn’t going to be a marriage built on love or physical attraction, but he seemed genuine and kind which was all she could ask for.
Love was for fools. Sh
e’d fallen for its allure and look where it had got her.
She mourned the loss of Sam and she mourned the loss of her innocence. She couldn’t look at her father without feeling a stab of revulsion and every time she saw her mother she felt particularly sad. Georgina also knew she was mourning the loss of her chance at a different life. The opportunity to run away with Sam, to travel the world and be her own mistress. Now she was condemned to follow the rules of society for the rest of her life.
‘Perhaps have an extra portion of dessert.’ Madame De Revere was still talking about Georgina’s slimmer figure. ‘Some men like the thin look, but most I know prefer a woman to have curves.’
Georgina nodded, relieved when Madame De Revere had tweaked and adjusted the dress to her satisfaction and left one of the younger girls who worked in the shop to pin it into place.
Forcing herself to look at the reflection in the mirror, Georgina knew she would have to practise her smile before the wedding. No one liked a morose bride and she owed it to the Duke to look at least a little happy. And happy was so far from what she was feeling right now the smile would have to be forced.
‘Good afternoon.’
Georgina stiffened at the sound of the deep voice at the front of the shop. For a moment she’d thought it had sounded like Sam, even though the thought of him here in the modiste’s was ridiculous. Despite her best efforts she was imagining him everywhere, thinking she’d seen his shock of blond hair or heard his smooth voice.
Trying to ignore the inaudible conversation that was occurring on the other side of the curtain, she turned back to the mirror. She needed to forget Sam Robertson and focus her energies on her upcoming marriage and her husband-to-be.
‘I’m sorry, I cannot allow it. My reputation...and the young lady’s,’ Madame De Revere was saying.
Intrigued, Georgina moved towards the curtain, twitching it aside so she could see who the normally unflappable modiste was talking to.
‘I don’t think you understand, madame, I am coming in to see Lady Georgina whether you approve or not. I’m giving you the chance to close up the shop, take my money, and nip around the corner for a well-earned cup of tea while I talk to Lady Georgina. If not, I’m afraid I will have to make a big fuss and that will not be good for business.’
‘Sam,’ Georgina whispered to herself as she peered through the small gap. Here he was as confident and self-assured as ever, sending the formidable modiste out of her own shop.
‘I don’t think you understand, sir.’ Madame De Revere had drawn herself up to her full height, just shy of five foot, and puffed out her chest. ‘You will have to carry me out screaming before I let you harass one of my customers.’
Seeing that Sam was considering doing just that, Georgina hastily stepped out from behind the curtain.
‘Perhaps, Madame De Revere, you could give me a couple of minutes with Mr Robertson?’
Madame De Revere spent at least thirty seconds eyeing Sam up as if deciding if he could be trusted with one of her best customers, then sidled over to Georgina.
‘I will be upstairs. If he tries anything unsavoury, just shout and I’ll be down with my broom to chase him out,’ she murmured.
Trying to suppress a smile at the idea of Sam being chased out of the shop by the small Frenchwoman with a broom, Georgina nodded gravely.
‘Come, girls,’ Madame De Revere commanded the two pretty shop girls she employed, ushering them upstairs after quickly flicking the lock on the front door so no walk-in customers could enter to find Georgina and Sam alone.
They stood in silence for a minute, Sam’s eyes raking over her, taking in the expensive wedding dress and ending up at her face.
‘Beautiful,’ he said. ‘You look like a duchess.’ There was no bitterness in his voice and Georgina wondered if he had accepted that this was how things had to be. Perhaps he’d come to say goodbye, to inform her that he had booked a passage on a boat back to Australia and was leaving for ever. The idea made her panic a little, although her head tried to tell her it would be for the best. If he was half a world away, then she couldn’t end up doing something stupid.
‘Thank you,’ she said, trying to keep her tone crisp and curt.
‘It is a shame you will never get to wear it.’
She almost smiled at his confidence, it felt so familiar, so desired, but quickly she schooled her face into a disapproving frown.
‘My wedding is a week from today.’
Sam sighed. ‘Please, Georgina, don’t make this mistake. You’ll regret it for ever.’
‘I—’
Quickly he interrupted her. ‘Forget for a moment that I lied to you, take me out of the equation altogether. Think of how you felt when we were together, think of that happiness, that sense of fulfilment, knowing that you were waking up feeling love and being loved.’
For a few short days her world had been filled with sunshine and contentment, but then he’d dashed everything.
‘I want you to be happy, completely happy. And I know you won’t be with the Duke.’
‘He’s a good man,’ Georgina said.
‘I know. And he will make you a satisfactory husband, Georgina, but he doesn’t love you and you don’t love him.’
‘Perhaps that’s a good thing.’
‘It isn’t,’ Sam said with certainty. ‘What you would be settling for is a half-life, an existence that is just good enough rather than what you deserve: to be showered with love every day.’
‘Perhaps I’d prefer the security of a man who respects me, who doesn’t lie to me.’
‘You’re angry with me, that’s completely understandable,’ Sam said. ‘I deceived you and I hurt you and I will regret that for ever, but don’t throw away your entire lifetime of happiness just because you’re annoyed with me.’
‘I will be happy with the Duke,’ Georgina said, trying to inject some steely determination into her voice. The problem was Sam had hit a sore spot with his words. She knew she was settling for a life without love by marrying the Duke. Perhaps over the years something might grow between them, but then again it might not. It was likely that she would never feel that heady rush of love again, she wouldn’t feel that hammering of her heart and the complete contentment of being held in the arms of the man she loved.
Then again, if she didn’t risk her heart it couldn’t be broken.
Sam stepped closer and took her hand. She didn’t resist, feeling the familiar rasp of his skin against hers where his callused fingers met her smooth palm. It would be so easy to close her eyes and forget everything, to let him envelop her and fall back into the easy relationship they had shared a few weeks ago.
‘Don’t throw your life away because I was a fool,’ Sam said, looking deep into her eyes. ‘I know I may have jeopardised our future, and I will have to live with that for ever, but I could not bear to think I’d pushed you into an unhappy marriage. You’re built for love, Georgina, giving it and receiving it. That’s what you deserve. Love and a life filled with adventure, not taking tea every afternoon with the same group of ladies until you expire from the boredom.’
Until she’d met Sam she had scoffed at the idea of love in a marriage. No one she knew had married for love; all of her contemporaries had made matches for the sake of a title or a fortune, but never for love.
‘As for us...’ he gave her a slow lingering look that stoked the fire that burned deep inside her ‘...I love you and I always will. I know you don’t believe me, but everything we shared was real, every last kiss, every last touch. You bewitched me on our first dance and I couldn’t keep away.’
It seemed so long ago that he’d whisked her away from her group of suitors with his honeyed words and that cheeky glint in his eyes. Georgina had known right then he was dangerous, but she realised she wouldn’t erase the time they’d spent together. He was right that she would never love the Duke, Sa
m was the man she loved and she couldn’t trust him, but she was pleased to have experienced the most wonderful of emotions even for just a short time.
‘I admit those first few weeks I was looking for a way to get close to your father, to find some way to confront him about what he’d done to me all those years ago, but you were always there, pulling my focus. I couldn’t help but want to spend time with you rather than pursuing the reason I came to England.’ He smiled at her sadly. ‘I should have realised sooner that nothing was worth risking you over. Not even the revenge I’d fantasised about ever since I realised I would never see my family again.’
Despite her resolve to remain steely and aloof Georgina felt a bubble of sympathy. It was hard not to. Her father had treated him appallingly and, even worse, didn’t seem to feel any sort of remorse about it. It was difficult to know how she would have felt in Sam’s situation, but she could imagine a young boy who’d been ripped from everything he knew wanting revenge on the man who’d done the ripping.
That didn’t mean she forgave him, though. He’d had a thousand opportunities to come clean to her, to confess his true identity and ask her understanding. If she hadn’t overheard the conversation between him and her father, she still wouldn’t know the extent of his deception.
‘I promise you my aim was never to seduce you for the purposes of revenge. And as soon as I got to know you I wanted to protect you from any consequences of the actions I took.’
‘But you still lied to me, schemed and tricked your way into my home and held back the most important parts of you even when I gave you everything.’
‘I know,’ he said sincerely, ‘and I’m sorry. I was wrong. I didn’t realise until it was too late that you were the only thing that mattered, not what happened eighteen years ago, not the revenge I’d spent so long thinking about.’
Stepping closer, he reached out and placed the palm of his hand against her cheek. It took all her strength not to melt into his body, not to close her eyes and pretend the last few weeks hadn’t happened.
‘I will always love you,’ Sam said, his fingers moving backwards and forward against her skin, ‘but only you can decide if you can forgive me. I’ve booked a passage home to Australia—the ship leaves one week today.’